Hold U Down (16 page)

The feds were all over his back, watching his every move. NaSheed was trippin', not showing up to recording sessions, wasting Bigg's time, money, and patience. The only sane thing he had in his life was Unique, and the way things were going between them lately, he was sure he was gonna lose her too. It seemed like every day Unique and Bigg were arguing over petty, ignorant shit. With both of them being pig-headed, neither was willing to back down. Bigg could feel it in his heart that if something else bad happened, he would most definitely lose his mind.

After a ten-minute shower, he dried off, lotioned up, and put on a pair of boxer-briefs. Reentering the room, Bigg hopped into bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Fifteen minutes later, he was awakened with a thundering smack across the face. Hopping up, he immediately grabbed his nine from underneath his pillow and aimed it in the direction of the hit.

“Put the gun down, wit' yo' scary ass!”

“What the fuck is yo' problem? What you hit me for?”

“'Cause of that shit you pulled earlier.”

“Hit me again and I'm gon' fuck you up,” Bigg promised as he turned back over, pissed.

“Nigga, you ain't gon' do shit.” Unique kicked him in the leg as hard as she could.

Sitting up, Bigg pushed her with all his might onto the plush carpet that lay below. With a loud thump, she landed on the floor. Unique recovered quickly, though, and climbed back into bed, throwing blows left and right.

She missed, trying to hit Bigg in the face, giving him enough time to grab her hands. Pinning her down onto her back, Bigg placed all of his weight onto her while roughly pushing her thighs apart with his legs.

With her hands in his, he kissed her deeply. Running his tongue across her lips, he stopped to suck her bottom lip. Bigg then let one of her hands go so that he could trace his free hand down her side. Once he reached her center, he played in the wetness that already lay in between her thighs.

“Ahh,” Unique moaned, arching her back. Bigg couldn't wait to devour her body as he gazed down upon it. Noticing that she had on nothing but a white tee, he became even more aroused.

“Why you got on one of my T-shirts?” he asked as he kissed her breasts through the shirt, leaving wet marks around her nipples.

“'Cause . . . you weren't here . . . ooh . . . and I wanted to feel like . . . you were here with me,” she moaned, trembling from his touch.

Licking her breasts, Bigg ripped the T-shirt down the middle, exposing her full breasts. He took them both and pushed them together, running his tongue back and forth across her swollen nipples.

On a sexual high, Unique rubbed Bigg's head and bit into her bottom lip. They locked eyes with one another as he placed kisses from her breasts up to her mouth.

Bigg swam in a sea of wetness as he entered her. He almost broke down and busted a nut on his first stroke, but Bigg was gangsta. He wasn't going out like that. He had to put it down on Unique. The two intertwined their fingers as they rocked to a hard but slow, steady beat.

Already beginning to feel weak, Bigg buried his face into the crook of Unique's neck. She held his hands tightly and cried out in ecstasy as he circled his hips slow and hard, in and out of her wet slit repeatedly. Unique could already feel herself cumming.

“Bigg, Bigg, wait . . . I'm not . . . ooh . . . I'm not ready to cum . . . yet,” she stuttered.

“You love me?”

“Yes. You love me?” she asked as she kissed and bit into his soft skin.

“Without a doubt.”

She wrapped her legs around him as they kissed, and Unique and Bigg continued to make love into the wee hours of the morning.

“Look, Bigg. That's the new Louis Vuitton denim monogram purse that I was telling you about!” Unique replied excitedly as they walked hand in hand at Frontenac Plaza. “Oh, please, can I get it?” she begged.

“I don't care, Nique. Here, hurry up and go get it so I can hit up the Nike store.” Bigg handed her three thousand dollars. “You know the new Jordans came out today.”

“Thank you, baby.” She smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Yeah, whatever. Just make sure you get on them knees later on tonight,” he joked.

“Fuck you.” Unique laughed while walking into the store.

Standing outside the Louis store, Bigg pulled out a Black & Mild to ease his weed fix until he got back to the car. He and Unique had already spent over ten grand hitting store after store. Lighting the Black & Mild, he inhaled then exhaled the sweet smoke slowly. Bigg had been on edge the past couple of weeks. It seemed like if it wasn't one thing, it was another with him. NaSheed was clowning, not showing up to sessions, and Bigg swore that he felt like he was being watched.

More than ever he was drinking and smoking to calm the nervousness he felt. Bigg hadn't taken his medication in weeks, so he was really over the edge. Anything anybody said to him out the way, he flipped out. Even Unique had to be put in check a couple of times.

Studying his surroundings, Bigg knew that something wasn't quit right. He could feel it in his gut. Suddenly he noticed a white van with the words
Forget Me Not Florist
written across the side. Any patron walking down the street wouldn't have thought twice, but Bigg knew better.

The van stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the Mercedes-Benzes, Lexus trucks, and Bentley coupes. Plus, the fact that every other minute the window would roll down about five inches and a camera would peek through confirmed Bigg's suspicions. Bigg shook his head, knowing well that it was nobody but undercover cops photographing him.

They're probably the muthafuckas that were following Unique
, he thought. With a smile on his face, Bigg put his middle finger up at them. Tapping on the store window, he signaled to Unique to hurry up.

Five minutes later, she walked out with a huge smile spread across her face.

“Come on. We gotta go home,” he confirmed, grabbing her hand and cutting their shopping spree short.

“Why? We just got here.”

“Don't look, but across the street it's a van with some undercover cops in it, taking pictures of us.”

“Why would the police be taking pictures of us, Bigg?” Unique asked with an attitude, snatching her hand away.

“Don't make me be beat yo' ass out in this muthafucka. Don't say shit while we in the car. They probably got it bugged.”

Unique seethed with anger as she got into the Lexus truck that Bigg had bought for her birthday. As they rode down the highway heading home, Bigg looked through the rearview mirror every five minutes to make sure he wasn't being followed. Out of nowhere, he signaled to Unique to check the truck for bugs. Doing as she was told, she began to search the car for anything suspicious.

Gliding her hand across the interior above the window, she felt a bump underneath the suede ceiling. Unique needed something to tear the material with, so she used a pocket knife that was in her purse. In less than a minute, she had torn a hole into the suede material, revealing a listening device. Showing it to Bigg, he shook his head in disbelief and hit the steering wheel, heated.

Unique then climbed into the back and searched her cream-colored leather seats. She searched the headrest, seat, and floor, finding nothing, but something told her to keep going. Running her hand underneath the seat, she found a small tracking device. Unique threw the bug out the window and climbed back into the front seat.

“Now that that's taken care of, what the fuck is going on?”

“I don't know!” Bigg barked.

“Well, you need to find out!”

“They probably got my phone tapped, and yours, too,” he thought out loud.

“Mine! Why the fuck would my phone be tapped?”

“'Cause you my girl and they know that I be at yo' house, so watch what you say over the phone from now on.”

“What are you going to do, Bigg?”

“I'm gon' keep on doing me. I ain't letting the po-pos or nobody else come between me and paper.”

 

 

“How much you got?”

“Only fifteen thousand,” Kay Kay spoke.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with fifteen thousand dollars?”

“The job was only worth sixty-five grand, Cezar. Damn,” Kiara snapped.

“Watch yo' mouth!” Cezar shouted, upset. “Y'all haven't been pulling your weight since Unique left.”

“Fuck Unique. We don't need her.”

“You need somebody, 'cause this shit ain't working.”

“I'm sorry, Cezar. Don't pay her no mind. I'll think of something,” Kay Kay apologized, preparing to leave. Seeing that Kiara wasn't behind her, she asked, “You coming?”

“Yeah, here I come. I got to go use the bathroom.”

“A'ight, meet me at the car.” Once Kiara saw that Kay Kay was out of sight, she turned her attention toward Cezar.

“You know that I've missed you, right?” she purred with a devilish grin on her face.

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. Can I show you how much I've missed you?” Kiara kissed his stomach as she began to unbuckle his pants. Getting down onto her knees, she took his thick, hard dick into her hand and began to suck.

“Shit,” Cezar moaned.

“You like that, baby?” Kiara moaned as she deep-throated his dick.

“Yes!”

“I knew you missed me.”

“Damn right I missed you,” Cezar moaned, grabbing her hair.

“Since . . . you . . . missed me . . . so much . . . let me get some work,” she asked in between sucking.

Shocked by her request, he pushed her head away. “Get the fuck off me!”

“What's your problem? Don't act like we ain't done this before.”

“I should've known you were up to something.”

“Why you trippin'? I just need a little fix.”

“You better get yo' ass up outta here with that shit,” Cezar barked, infuriated.

“Come on, Cez. Hook a bitch up.”

“Now I see what Unique meant. You are irresponsible. What about your daughter, Kiara? Do you think about her while you smoking that shit?”

“Don't talk about my daughter!” she yelled, thinking of Arissa.

“Get the fuck up outta here!”

“I don't need you or my cousin. Fuck both of y'all,” Kiara screamed as she grabbed her bag and left.

Still heated, Kiara made sure the coast was clear before opening her purse. Kay Kay was parked two houses up, so she couldn't see her. Taking the last bit of cocaine she had in a small Ziploc bag, she sniffed it up each nostril. Immediately she felt relaxed.

Now that she was calm, Kiara plotted her next move. All of a sudden a sinister grin appeared on her face. Her cousin wasn't the only one who got her way with men. The next time Kiara saw Bigg, she would be sure to get her way with him.

 

 

In a matter of weeks, things in Bigg's life had gone from bad to worse. Bigg's manic depressive episodes had returned. He had done nothing but drink and pace the floors for the past couple of weeks. Unique had never seen him like this before, so she didn't know what to do. Seeing him in such a state hurt her heart in the worst way. When he was this way, Bigg was no good to anyone, not even himself. His decision-making wasn't the same when he was having an episode. He tried being strong, but really, he was at his weakest during times like these.

Bigg wouldn't accept any calls from anyone, and he barely wanted to talk to Unique, either. She had seen this too many times before, dealing with her mother, but her mother never had guns in the house. Bigg's sawed-off shotgun stayed by his side at all times, and Unique was forbidden to go anywhere outside of the house. She tried explaining to him that she needed to go home to check on Patience, but he wouldn't listen.

To make matters worse, his son, Dontay, was over for the weekend. Unique tried to get him to take his medication, but each time she brought it up, Bigg would only go off and tell her to leave him alone. He could smell it in the air; something was brewing beneath the surface.

Sitting alone in his four-cornered living room, he sat in his favorite lounge chair, puffing on Purple Haze. Visions of the feds busting down the doors danced in his head over and over. At that moment, Bigg didn't trust anything with a pulse. Something in the back of his head kept on telling him to tighten his circle, but who was out to get him? He couldn't figure it out.

Hearing breathing behind him, he quickly turned, cocked, and pointed his gun.

“Bigg!” Unique screamed.

“What the fuck I tell you about creeping around this muthafucka?” he yelled, un-cocking his gun.

“Bigg, it's getting late. Come to bed,” she pleaded. “You haven't slept in days.”

“Shh . . . they watching,” he said drunkenly and out of his mind.

“Who?”

“You don't see them?”

“Nobody's outside, baby. You're scaring me,” she said, looking around the dark room, feeling crazy herself.

“Dontay 'sleep?”

“Yeah, baby. I think you should let me take him home, though. He doesn't need to be around you right now.”

“Don't tell me my son don't need to be around me!” Bigg yelled, frightening her.

“I'm sorry. You're right. Dontay does need to be here with you.”

“Come here.”

Taking a seat in his lap, she sat sideways and hugged his neck tight.

“I saw the devil last night. He sat right there across from me in that chair and told me that I was going to die.”

“Baby, please take your pills, 'cause it's only going to get worse if you don't.”

“I ain't takin' them fuckin' pills, Nique. That shit fucks wit' your brain. I ain't no fiend. I ain't try'na to get hooked on no drug.”

“But, Bigg, you can't stay cooped up in here for the rest of your life.”

“You don't understand, ma. Every time I close my eyes I see niggas out to get me. It's always the same thing. I'm out and this dude approaches me. I go to shake his hand, but his handshake ain't matching his smile. I can tell the nigga ain't right.”

“You think somebody you know a snitch?”

Ignoring her question and without any warning, Bigg hopped up and dropped Unique to the floor. He grabbed his gun and headed over to the window. Somebody had just pulled up next door. Peeking through the blinds, he watched the car carefully with his finger on the trigger.

Not knowing what to do, Unique sat on the floor with her hands up to her face, crying. Her mother's episodes were never like this, so she didn't know what to do. Reasoning with Bigg didn't work, so the only thing she could do was sit idly by, praying that the old Bigg would come back to her soon.

Not moving until the car eased out of the driveway, Bigg turned around to find Unique sobbing uncontrollably.

“What the fuck are you crying for?” Unable to stop, Unique continued to cry. “I swear to God, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm gon' kill you,” Bigg said menacingly with a cold, blank stare in his eyes.

He had told her plenty of times before that he would kill her, but those times were chalked up to him just playing. Not this time. Unique could tell that this time was different. Seeing Bigg like this brought back all the memories of her childhood. Holding her breath, Unique willed herself not to cry.

Bigg saw the fear in her eyes and smiled. He hadn't felt this much power in a long time. Too much shit was going wrong for him, and he couldn't quite bring it all back together. He felt as his mind would explode at many moment.

Sitting back down, Bigg picked up his last bottle of Grey Goose and continued to drink. “Niggas think they gon' get me? Y'all niggas can't see me,” Bigg said out loud to the demons seated before him. “You want me, come get me. Stupid-ass niggas. I ain't scared,” he whispered as he stared at the gun resting on his lap. “I'll take my own life before I let you take it.”

“Bigg,” Unique said just above a whisper.

“What?”

“I need to use the bathroom. Is it okay that I get up?”

“Why the fuck you asking me some dumb-ass shit like that, Nique? Go use the muthafuckin' bathroom.” Bigg had already forgotten about dropping her to the floor and threatening to kill her.

Easing her way off the floor, she kept her eyes on him and the gun at the same time. Once she hit the steps, she ran as fast as she could. Unique couldn't take it anymore. She had to get up out of there. Packing things for herself and Dontay, she prepared to leave.

Once packed, she went into Dontay's room. There he was, peacefully asleep. He looked just like Bigg. Dontay possessed the same mocha-colored skin and oval-shaped face that his father had. Unique couldn't wait to have a son of her own. By the time she made it back downstairs, Bigg had finally dozed off to sleep.

Unique walked over to Bigg and took a look at the man she was in love with. “Bigg, I'm going home,” she whispered quietly with tears streaming down her face, while holding his sleeping son in her arms.

“You see them, Nique? They think they slick, trying to creep up on me.”