Hold U Down (18 page)

“Is Tone there?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Make sure he don't leave, I'm on my way.” Bigg hung up, not waiting for his reply.

Racing up the highway, bumping 50 Cent's “Ski Mask Way,” he pulled up in front of T Billy's. Bigg placed his burner in the waist of his pants and took one more pull off the blunt before putting it out. Not even turning his engine off, he instructed one of the bouncers to watch his truck.

Bigg searched the bar until he found Tone sitting at the bar wit' two hoes by his side. Walking up to him, he got in Tone's view. “Let me holla at you, man.”

“Can it wait? I'm busy,” Tone replied, ignoring him.

“Nah, nigga, it can't. Niggas is telling me you fuckin' my girl. You fuckin' my girl, dog?” Bigg yelled, causing a commotion.

“What the fuck you talkin' about?”

“Yo, Bigg, what's up?” Chris asked.

“This nigga been fuckin' my girl!”

“Don't nobody want yo' girl,” Tone replied, waving him off, trying not to show how afraid he was.

“So it ain't true?”

“I ain't fucked Unique in almost a year. I thought I loved her, but on the real, she wasn't nothing but backseat back shots to me.” Tone laughed.

“What the fuck you say?” Bigg asked, turning beet red.

“It ain't my fault you fell in love with a slut. I mean, Nique is mad physical. Mami does know how to work it in bed.” Tone cracked up laughing.

Before anyone knew it, Bigg had pulled his gun from his waist and began beating Tone mercilessly. He hit Tone in the head with the butt of the gun repeatedly, while words of venom spewed from his mouth.

“She a slut, huh? Nigga, do you want to die? I will kill you, pussy-ass nigga!”

“Yo, Bigg, chill! Don't do this shit here!” Chris pulled him off of Tone.

“I'm gon' kill him! That's my word. You dead, nigga,” Bigg yelled as he continued to stomp Tone. Blood was flying everywhere, on Bigg's shirt, jacket, and shoes.

“Nigga, chill!” Chris demanded, pulling Bigg away.

“Let me go!” Bigg barked, out of breath. Fixing his coat, he walked out of the bar with his face screwed up.

“Go home!” Chris said as he pushed Bigg into his truck.

Without another word, Bigg put his foot on the pedal and speed off.

It had been two weeks, three days—exactly four hundred and eight hours since Bigg left Unique in a million pieces. For the first time in her twenty-five years on earth, Unique felt heartbreak. She never knew that a man, a mere human being, could cause so much pain. Without Bigg she couldn't eat, sleep, think, or breathe. Unique didn't realize it, but she had allowed herself to need him.

Every time she let a tear fall down her cheek, she remembered her number one rule: Love is forbidden. Love is a funny thing, and sometimes it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. That night at Club Plush, Unique fell in love with Bigg. Without one word, as soon as she laid eyes on him, she loved him. She loved everything about him, and to not have him in her life was tearing her up inside.

Loving him had her calling him at all times of the night, praying to hear the sound of his voice. It had her crying herself to sleep at night, riding past his house to see if he was home, leaving voice mail messages proclaiming her undying love and begging for forgiveness.

Unique was a mess, and so was Bigg. Every time she called, he held the phone in his hand, dying to pick it up. At night he would drive past her house, wanting to see her.

Already reeling from his battle with depression, being without Unique caused his condition to worsen. She was the only one who could get through to him, and without her, he became sicker by the day.

Unique knew that people thought she was crazy for being with Bigg. She knew that they called her a fool for loving him. She had a college degree and her own money, but still, she wanted to be a hustler's wife.

But only she could live her life; only she could feel her heartbreak. No one else had to sleep in her bed at night, so she didn't care. The love that she and Bigg shared would never go away.

Unique hadn't forgotten about Kiara, though. She wasn't strong enough physically to handle her, but once she got her swagger back, it would be on and poppin'.

 

 

Two weeks, five days—exactly four hundred and fifty-six hours into their breakup, she lay in a deep, comatose, tear-stained sleep. Feeling something touching her arm, she jumped up, frightened.

“It's me,” Bigg whispered.

“Oh, you scared the shit outta me,” Unique said, holding her chest and still shaken up.

Bigg turned on the lamp beside the bed and took off his jacket and Timbs before climbing on top of her. Unique smiled on the inside for the first time in weeks. Noticing that her eyes were swollen from crying caused Bigg to feel terrible.

“How did you get in here?”

“Patience let me in. You didn't hear me ringing the bell?”

“No. Do you want me to turn off the light?”

“Nah, I wanna look at you,” Bigg said, looking into her eyes for the first time in weeks.

Her hair was sprawled across the pillow, and her peanut butter–colored skin looked good enough to eat. As he gazed into her eyes, he traced his index finger across the scar under her right eye.

Unique sighed. More than anything over the past couple of weeks, she had missed the touch of Bigg's skin against hers. He, too, had been missing her like crazy. Bigg missed the way her mouth turned up on the end, revealing a slight smile even when she wasn't. Hugging his back tight, Unique inhaled his scent, causing more tears to flow down her cheeks.

“I missed you,” she cried.

“Stop crying. You know I can't stand to see you cry.” He spoke almost above a whisper.

“I can't.”

“I talked to Tone.”

“And?” Unique wiped her eyes.

“He told me y'all weren't fuckin' around.”

“So, you gon' believe that man's words over mine?”

“I'm sorry. I should've trusted you.” Placing soft kisses on her tear-drenched face, Bigg himself tried not to cry. He held her face in his hands as he gazed into her almond-shaped eyes. He saw that she missed him and needed him, but he still wasn't sure.

“You love me?”

“Yeah.”

“No, do you really love me?”

“Yes!”

“Do you need me?”

“I need you, Bigg. You know that. You got me going crazy here without you. You don't have any reason to be insecure. I know where I wanna be. I know I made a mistake, and I promise that I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Unless you got your heart set on breaking up with me.” Unique cried even harder, barely able to breathe.

Not able to forgive and forget that easily, he got up and began putting his shoes back on.

“Where are you going?”

“I'm going home. I can't deal with this right now.”

“What you mean, you can't deal with this right now?” She sat up. “What the fuck you come over here for then?” she yelled, feeling stupid for baring her soul.

“I thought I was cool, but I'm not.”

“I said that I was sorry. What more do you want from me, Bigg?”

“I don't want anything but you. That's all I've ever wanted,” he said, now fully dressed.

“You not gon' leave me like this. You gon' stand here and you gon' listen to me!” Unique pushed the covers off of her body and followed him.

“Kill all that noise, Nique. You gon' wake Patience up.”

“Nah, fuck that. You not gon' leave me!” she yelled, mushing him in the head as he walked down the steps.

“I'm gon' fuck you up if you touch me again,” he turned and warned her. “Don't start no shit.”

“Don't start no shit? Nigga, you started it by coming over here making me look like a fool.”

“How I make you look a fool?” he asked as he left out the front door.

“Tell me you need me, Unique! Tell me you love me, Unique! What the fuck was that shit all about, Bigg? You know you hurt me too.”

“My bad. I'm sorry for coming over here. It won't happen again.” He pressed the button for the elevator door and got in.

“Uh-uh, I'm not through talkin' to you.” Unique hopped on the elevator too.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“We gon' finish this!”

“I'm through talkin' about it.” Bigg spoke nonchalantly.

“You know what? I ain't got to beg for your forgiveness. Fuck you! You can have your stupid-ass ring back too,” Unique yelled, throwing her engagement ring at him.

“Whatever, ma,” Bigg replied as he pocketed the ring and got off the elevator.

“Yeah, whatever! Fuck you, too, you big-head muthafucka! I'm sick of crying over you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, and this is how you do me.” Unique followed him through the lobby and to his car parked outside.

“It's always about you, ain't it? It was about you when you was out there stealing cars for no reason. It was about you when you lied to me about Tone, and it's about you now since you're so hurt. Did you ever stop to think that I might be hurting too, Unique?”

Not able to speak, she stood outside in front of him in a tank top and panties at three o'clock in the morning during the middle of winter.

“I love you more than you know. I told you to leave that nigga alone, but did you listen? No! I asked if you were you still fuckin' wit' him, and you said no, knowing damn well you hadn't ended things with that nigga. So you only got you to blame for how you feelin', since it's all about you anyway.” Slamming his car door shut, Bigg started up the engine and sped off, leaving Unique standing there in the cold winter air, wondering why.

 

 

A couple more days passed by, and Unique and Bigg were still on the outs. Tired of being without him, she decided to go over to his house and sleep there. Searching around the house for him, she saw that he wasn't there, so she took a shower, put on some pajamas, and got into bed.

Three hours later, Bigg arrived home to find her lying in his bed watching
Will & Grace
as if nothing had happened.

“Hi, baby.”

“What you doing here, Unique?”

“I came to see you, and plus I wanted my ring back.”

“Is that right?” he asked as he took off his shoes.

“I know you missed me.” She smiled, hoping he would give in. He didn't. “Look, Bigg, I'm tired of playin' wit' you. You love me and I love you. All this unnecessary drama needs to stop.”

“You caused all this by lying. As a matter of fact, since you're here, give me back my keys.”

“Nigga, please. I ain't giving you shit.”

“You's a silly-ass broad.”

“And you love it.” She stared directly at him and smiled.

“But for real, though, what's going on with the case?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

“The feds don't have a case. They couldn't find shit on them computers, and they didn't find nothing in my office either, so their so-called case against me is fucked.”

“That's good. Now, are you coming to bed?”

“Since you won't leave, I'm going downstairs to sleep on the couch,” he said, grabbing his pillow and heading downstairs.

“Did you take your pills?”

“Why?”

“'Cause I wanna know!”

“Yeah! You happy now?”

Smiling from ear to ear, Unique hopped up out of the bed and followed him downstairs.

“You took them for real?”

Getting comfortable on the couch, he answered, “Yeah, now leave me alone.” Bigg placed the covers over his head.

“What made you change your mind?”

“I talked to Carmella and she told me how worried you were. I'm sorry I scared you like that.”

“It's okay, baby. I'm just glad you finally took them,” she said, taking the covers off of his face and kissing his cheek.

“Take yo' ass upstairs. I'm still mad at you. We ain't cool,” Bigg replied, pulling the covers back over his face.

She hit him upside the head and ran back upstairs before he could catch her and hit her back. Turning off the TV, Unique smiled to herself. She didn't care whether he slept in the bed with her or not. She would take Bigg any way she could get him. As long as she was near him, she would be all right.

 

 

Saturday February 5, 2005, the night of the Cory Spinks–Zab Judah fight had finally arrived. Everybody and their mommas were out in the streets, including Unique, Patience, Zoë, and Chantell. The streets of downtown St. Louis were packed. All you saw were white tees and hair weaves. Girls were outside their cars dancing, trying to get attention from potential ballers and brothas already doing the damn thing. Niggas were smoking weed and hollering at different females as they rode by looking fly. Every flavor from the ice cream truck was being represented. You had your Butter Pecan Ricans, fly colored Asians, French Vanilla mamis, Caramel Sundaes, and even Chocolate Deluxe sistas were trying to get touched. Gangstas from every hood including Pine Lawn and Cochran to the East Side were out kicking it after the fight.

Everywhere you looked there were Benzes, Jaguars, Escalades, F-150s, and Hummers. You could just a smell a fight or a shootout brewing in the air. The atmosphere was so thick with energy. If you were a dummy, or new to the game, you wouldn't know who had money or who was just stuntin' for the night, but Unique knew better. All you had to do was look a nigga from head to toe to tell if he had money.

There were a lot of stunters out that night, and if you didn't know any better, you probably would've gotten caught up in the glitz and glamour of it all. Brothas were frontin' in rental cars. Females used their welfare checks to buy new outfits. Then there were the chicks that were stuntin' in their man's car like it was theirs, just to upstage other females, but Unique was in a class all her own.

She could afford to buy herself nice things. The Mercedes G500 that she rode in was hers and was paid for by her. The Pirelli tires and Giovanna rims she also purchased herself. Bumping Ciara's “Oh,” she and the girls danced around in their seats to the beat. They got much attention from the opposite sex as they rode by, but Unique's mind was on her boo, Bigg.

He was still mad at her, and Unique couldn't stand the silent treatment that he was giving her. He had gone to the fight without her, and that hurt her even more. Instead, he, Legend, NaSheed, and Chris went together. She was sure that females were on his tip and trying to holla, but Unique knew that she had nothing to worry about. Bigg loved her to death, and when he saw the outfit she had on, he was sure to forgive her. That she was sure of.

Unique's red hair was pulled up into a sleek ponytail reaching all the way to the middle of her back. Black eye shadow adorned her almond-shaped eyes, giving her eye a smokey effect, while bronzer highlighted her cheeks. A coat of nude MAC lip gloss completed her facial look. On her body she rocked a fitted gray long-sleeve top with the back completely cut out, True Religion skinny jeans, and black Givenchy heels. Large silver hoop earrings, bangle bracelets, and silver Isabella Fiore purse made up the rest of her outfit.

Not being outdone, Zoë sported a tweed Chanel blazer, cream-colored spaghetti-strapped cami, tight-fitting jeans, and a pair of brown crocodile Celine heels. Her hair was perfectly styled in a short, wispy style like Halle Berry, and four-carat diamond earrings adorned her ears. The other girls were dressed and looked cute too.

Putting Ciara's “Oh” on repeat, they all bobbed their heads to the beat. Rapping Ludacris's verse, Unique raised her hands in the air and twirled her hips around in the seat as they sat stuck in traffic.