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Chapter Forty-Seven

Josh

She wrote a song for me—one she performed in front of everybody. Not only that, it was called “Home.” She sang the word
home,
and she was talking about me.

My gaze was glued to her for the entire song. Her voice had never sounded so sweet and pure. It was raw with honesty and so incredibly beautiful, I forgot to breathe. I couldn’t talk when she was done. No one could. Her song finished and the place fell silent.

I felt bad for her at first, until I noticed the tears in Millie Rae’s eyes and a lopsided smile from Brock.

Ol’ Dan grinned up at the stage and shouted out, “Keep on singing, sweetheart, but don’t you be thinking about making me cry again. Give me some country goodness!”

Cheers went up around the bar and Rachel chuckled, glancing at me for approval. I nodded my wooden head but couldn’t crack a smile. Her song had stripped me naked and I was damn scared, still fighting my instinct with logic. What if she hurt me again? What if she meant it now but changed her mind later?

“Josh, get me another beer, will ya?” Brock’s request pulled me out of my daze, and I grabbed out a fresh glass as Rachel started singing “Chicken Fried.” Ol’ Dan whooped and a few cheers went up. It was the perfect choice.

I ignored Brock’s knowing smile as I plonked the fresh brew in front of him.

“Shut your face,” I muttered, turning my back on him and fighting a smile of my own.

*****

Rachel stayed ’til closing, stacking all the chairs and sweeping the floor for me. She’d insisted Harriet get on home and won the argument pretty damn easily. I hadn’t said anything to her. I hated that I was so useless with words, but emotions always tied my tongue in a big ol’ knot and these particular words were the overpowering kind that had my throat restricting, as well.

Her boots sounded loud on the wooden floor, but not enough to drown out the jukebox. “I Hope You Dance” was playing—one of Rachel’s favorite songs. It seemed to be the night for soulful tunes, and I almost dreaded what was coming next.

Rachel stopped at the bar, and I was glad for the barricade between us. If she came within a breath of me, I’d fall apart on the spot. Her sweet smell and delicate curls had always been my undoing.

“Do you want me to do anything else?”

I shook my head, focusing on the dishtowel in my hands.

She gripped the guitar case handle and nodded. “I know there’s nothing I can say to erase what I did, and I know one song ain’t gonna fix it either, but if you ever change your mind…” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. “Here’s my new number.” She held it out to me.

“What happened to your old one?”

“It was…” She shook her head and muttered, “Broken.”

I took the paper from her, wondering what she wasn’t saying, and tucked it into my back pocket. Her gaze was sad as she drank me in.

“Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Where you going tonight?”

“Millie said I could stay with her and Brock until I’ve got myself figured out.” She pressed her lips together as if she didn’t want to tell me more, but then blurted, “There was a couple in LA who helped me out. Saved my life, really. They offered to have me if you wouldn’t…”

I looked away from her sad expression. I swear my chest was being pounded with a battering ram.

“I’m really sorry for ruining everything. I didn’t—” Her soft sigh made me cringe. “For what it’s worth, I love you and I can’t see that changing…ever. You’ll always be my home, Grizz.”

As if fate was working for us, the jukebox started playing, “Feels Like Home.”

I had to look at her then, drink in that beautiful face.

She glanced at the jukebox with a wistful smile and turned for the door. “Goodbye, Josh.”

What the hell was I doing?

Snatching out my phone, I pulled her scrap of paper free and scrambled to dial the number before she got through the door. It was stupid, I know, but I couldn’t seem to call out to her, and maybe if I did this over the phone, I’d do a better job.

Her phone rang just before she closed the door behind her. I could only just make out her profile in the dim light outside, but a grin twitched my lips at her confused expression.

She looked back into the bar at me and lifted the phone to her ear. “You know I’m still here, right?”

“I do need something from you.” My voice was tight and small as I spoke into the phone. I swallowed, hoping to cure my parched throat.

She stepped back into the bar, placing her guitar case on the floor and gazing across at me. “And what is that?”

I clenched my jaw, the words fighting to get out of my stubborn, fearful mouth. Finally, I parted my lips and whispered, “I need you to stay.”

It took her a second to register my words. Her eyes locked on to mine as if she didn’t quite believe me, but then a relieved sigh, mixed with a smiling sob, burst out of her lips, and she dropped the phone to the floor. It landed with a clunk, but she didn’t even notice as she raced across the room. I vaulted over the bar and met her halfway, catching her against me and lifting her into my arms. Her legs wrapped around me, squeezing my waist as her hot breath caressed my skin. Her lips were trembling as they met mine, and I swallowed her sob, cradling the back of her head with my hand.

“I missed you,” she cried, kissing my lips between words. “I missed you so much.”

I stopped her trembling voice with my mouth and walked toward the wall, slapping her body against the hard wood and squeezing her thighs. Her scorching kisses were trying to drown me. I’d forgotten how good she tasted.

Sucking her bottom lip, I forced myself to pull away so I could look at her. “I mean it, Rachel. I need you to stay forever.”

“I love you.” She held my face, her fingers digging into my hair. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m never leaving home again.” The look in her eyes told me she meant it, and I thought my heart was going to fly right out of my chest.

With a growl, I pulled her back against me, her hot mouth consuming mine in a kiss that said everything we needed it to. My body responded with an intensity I’d never felt before. The low-lying home fire I’d kept burning for her flared with passion, heating my inner core. I had to have her. I had to be inside her and know without a doubt that she was once again mine.

Sliding my arm around her waist, I pulled her tight against me and carried her up the stairs. She clung to me, kissing my neck and sucking the sweet spot below my ear. I dropped her onto the bed and she giggled, kicking off her boots. Her big eyes gazed up at me, her teeth running over her lower lip and fueling the inferno raging within me. With a shy smile, she undressed herself, slipping off her jeans and shirt until she sat on my bed looking mouth-watering in nothing but a skimpy pair of hot pink panties.

I didn’t miss the bruises on her body—the gash on her shin and the finger marks on her arm. I couldn’t move for a beat, locked in place by the idea someone had hurt her.

She caught my anguished gaze and shook her head. “It’s over. He can’t touch me again.”

“Why’d he beat you in the first place?” I ground out the words.

“Because I wanted to come home to you.” Her eyes glistened. “I was too scared to leave when you came for me. I didn’t know what he might do to you. I was trying to protect you, but when you walked away…” She dipped her head, disappearing behind her curls.

I stood in agony, listening to her sniff and clear her throat.

“It took me way too long to figure this out, but when you came for me, I realized that all this time, you were all I’d ever wanted. I couldn’t stand one more second in that place, so I refused to do as I was told and I paid for it.”

Her words turned me to stone for a second. Rage flared inside me with a mighty roar, but it was overshadowed but the resounding knowledge of what she’d done for me. She’d taken a beatin’. She’d suffered so she could get back…to me.

Rachel glanced up, dragging her curls over one shoulder and smiling at me again. “I don’t want to talk about that night. I just want you to help me forget that I ever hurt you. Please,” she whispered. “Please, let me be yours again.”

I nodded, my head bobbing quickly as I tried to swallow the boulder in my throat. Her relieved smile grew and she let out a breathy laugh. Relief washed over her, drying up her tears, and then a glimmer danced into her eyes. They sparked with a sassy wildness I hadn’t seen in a long time. 

She dropped on all fours and crawled across the bed, looking like a lioness, her untamed curls glinting in the soft light. Her eyes danced as her fingers inched up my body and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. She slipped it off my shoulders and started trailing kisses down my body. Fireworks exploded beneath my skin, her soft touch being the first I’d had since she’d left.

I’d missed her. I’d ached for her and here it was, a precious gift I’d nearly denied myself.

I cupped the back of her head as she licked my belly button and worked her way down to my belt. It was an excruciating, intoxicating dance she made me endure. A belt had never been taken off so slowly, I can assure you. I was harder than granite when she finally pulled my pants down, anticipation making me quiver. When she took me into her mouth, I nearly blacked out, my fingers digging into her hair while a slow moan clawed up my throat.

That mouth of hers teased me until I could barely see straight, and I had to push her away from me before I exploded everywhere. She leaned back with a flirtatious laugh and lay down on the bed. I drank her in from the tip of her bare toes to that mass of curls on the top of her head. I skimmed her injuries, not wanting them to ruin the moment. Yet in spite of them, she stole my breath away.

“You are so beautiful,” I whispered, trailing my fingers over her beat-up shin as I crawled between her legs and gently kissed her.

She sighed as I slipped her underwear off and flung it over my shoulder. It was a sweet sound that lit the air and then changed in pitch as I caressed her body, sucking her breasts and making her writhe with my fingers. They remembered where to touch her and how to make her gasp and clutch my shoulders like I was the only thing anchoring her to the bed.

Her limbs began to tremble and quake as an orgasm rocketed through her. She arched her back, clutching the mussed-up bed sheets and crying out like we were the only two people on earth.

A smile played with my lips when I kissed her chin, her husky voice begging, “Don’t make me wait, Josh, please.”

I nestled myself between her legs, her hips rising to take me. She’d always been so small compared to me, and I used to worry about hurting her, but her hungry desire had taught me how far to go, and I thrust into her just the way she liked it.

Her head tipped back, a lusty groan firing into the air. Her delicate center was tight, wrapping me in a heady embrace that consumed my entire body. I drove into her again, closing my eyes and getting lost. Her fingers scraped down my spine as she lifted her legs and wrapped them around me, allowing me to go even deeper. I obliged, much to my pleasure.

She cried out again, brushing her teeth across my shoulder and murmuring that she loved me.

I wanted to say it back, but not when I could barely see straight, let alone form a coherent sentence. Instead, I showed her by increasing the tempo, burying myself inside her until I came with an explosion of light and color that outclassed anything I’d seen before.

My body was fair shaking as I puffed against her skin. I put the pressure on my elbows, not wanting to squash her. She giggled beneath me—a soft, breathy sound.

“Oh my Lord, you are good at that.” She grinned, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear with a loving smile that told me she wasn’t going anywhere.

I kissed her nose, then brushed my lips across the yellow bruising on her cheek. I still wanted to kill her boss, but it wasn’t the time to think about it.

Right then, the only thing I was meant to do was pull her into my arms and let her fall asleep on my shoulder…at home…where she belonged.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Josh

The birds woke me before the sun. I hadn’t really slept anyway. Rachel’s body pressed against mine was enough to keep any man awake. I’d trailed my fingers up and down her naked back until they’d gone numb. She hadn’t stirred once. It was like she hadn’t slept the whole time she’d been away. There was a peacefulness about her that seemed to permeate the entire room.

The pale curtains didn’t do much to hide the light as the sun rose. I ran my fingers through Rachel’s golden curls and kissed her forehead. She stirred in my arms, her hand gliding over my waist as she woke.

“Morning,” she finally croaked, her eyes peeking open.

“Hey, baby,” I whispered with a grin.

Her smile was sweet and relieved, like somehow she thought I might have changed my mind after a good night’s sleep. It wasn’t until I saw that look cresting over her face that I realized what an ass I’d been. Sure, she’d left me, but she’d stayed to protect me and what she thought I’d wanted. She’d assumed the bar was more important to me than she was, and maybe I’d never given her reason to believe otherwise.

Shifting my arm from beneath her neck, I perched up on my elbow and gazed down at her, gently running my finger along her hairline.

A smile brushed my lips when I finally said, “I love you.”

Her gaze shot to mine, her eyes rounding slightly.

“I should have told you before, every damn day, but I’m not that great with words. It wasn’t just your fault, you leaving me. I should never have let you walk away so easy. I should have gone with you and protected you.” I ran the back of my finger across her cheek, cringing at what had no doubt been an ugly, painful bruise.

“It’s done now.” Rachel smiled at me, her eyes glistening. “Let’s just forgive each other and move on.”

“That’s what I want, and I’m sorry for saying I couldn’t forgive you. That was a lie.” I brushed my lips against her. “When you love someone as much as I love you, you have to forgive them. It’s impossible not to.”

Her smile was sweet. “Well, I ain’t gonna be giving any more reasons to. At least I hope I ain’t.”

I chuckled at her cute expression. “Me too. All I want is to be with you, and build a life here. Is that what you want? To build a life with me, here in Payton?”

Her gaze warmed, her eyes fair glowing as she looked at me. “Yes, that’s exactly what I want. I told you, I’m never leaving home again, so that means…” A cheeky smile lit her face as she pushed me onto my back and straddled me. “That means that wherever you go, I’m going, too. You can’t get rid of me now, Joshua Clark.”

“That suits me just fine.” I ran my hands up her waist and gave her perfect breasts a squeeze.

“And why is that?” She leaned into me, her pink tongue poking out the side of her mouth.

“Because I love you.”

Her smile was pure sunlight.

“Say it again, Grizz.” She rocked against me, lighting a quick fire in my belly.

“I love you.”

“And again,” she sing-songed, bursting into giggles as I flipped her onto her back with a growl and nipped her chin.

“I love you, Rachel Myers, and I will keep on loving you until the day I die.”