Home for Love (An Adult Contemporary Romance) (3 page)

“I acknowledge that we lied to you,” a
feminine voice replied. Moira joined them, and shook her head at the seat that
Daniel offered, pulling over a chair to sit right next to Todd. It never paid
to show a man that you were intimidated or weary of him, no matter the
circumstances. “I had my part in it too and I’ll take the blame along with my
Daniel.” Moira took a breath and continued, “For what it’s worth, we’re sorry.
But it was neither our tale nor our secret to tell. All we could do was try to
talk some sense into our son and granddaughter. And we did that, every chance
we could. Even when we mourned the passing of our child, we thought of you,
Amber and Bree. It was hard to lie to you, to ‘look you in the eye’ as you say,
but we didn’t know what else to do.”

“It’s hard being a parent, Todd, and
when you’re a grandparent, you’re not necessarily less involved emotionally,
just less mandated to be involved.” Daniel interjected. “You raise kids, being
participants in every aspect of their lives only to have to butt out when they
think they’re old enough.”

Noting that Daniel sounded weary and
old, so like his age but unlike his character, Todd allowed for some of what
they said to register. He felt older, wearier too and could only manage a nod
at them in response.

Taking that as encouragement, Daniel
carried on. “Then your grandkids come along. For us, that was Bree. Because
they lived with us, she was ours in more ways than just a grandkid. But, when
she got pregnant, things changed in this household. The arguments we had with
Bree’s mother and our son were fiery.” Daniel’s voice found surer footing. “We
never agreed with the way they wanted to deal with the pregnancy or with how
they treated Bree.”

“How did they treat Bree?” Todd
inquired.

Moira answered, “They made living with
them unbearable, punishing her - not physically, but emotionally - for what
they saw as betrayal of the values they’d raised her by.”

“I can imagine that it can’t be easy
finding out that your teenage daughter is pregnant. So it was probably just
shock and disappointment,” Todd’s tone and the wave of his hand were
dismissive.

Moira tried another angle. “Todd, do you
remember what it was like with your mom and dad?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”
Todd’s bark was defensive; they were tiring him out.

“Now, now, don’t get yourself into a
twist,” Moira replied, “I’m just trying to paint the picture for you.”

Moira continued, urged by his silence.
“Well, it was pretty much like that for her too. As soon as they left Alaska,
they isolated themselves from her - she even gave birth to Amber on her own and
we only found out afterwards. When she was discharged from the hospital, she took
a taxi home with her new baby and found an empty house because her parents had
gone to work. They were self-absorbed, more concerned with their disappointment
and how the pregnancy would affect the esteem of others. They punished her by
neither showing her love nor giving her financial support. She was a young
mother fresh out of high school and working any job, she could get where she
could also look after the baby, while trying to study to create a better
future. Her parents were not rich, but they were comfortable enough that they
could’ve helped her out.” Moira had to stop when she no longer could keep her
tears at bay, feeling the pain of knowing that someone she loved dearly had
suffered and that she’d been unable to help.

Handing her a handkerchief from his
pocket, Daniel took over, observing that some of the steam the boy had been
bottling up had begun to dissipate. “We found out about things after the first
summer we went down to see Amber. Bree had moved out and was living in a
shoebox that served as bedroom, nursery, kitchen, and bathroom. It wasn’t in
the best of places and it makes me angry to think of it, but there was hardly a
thing to eat in the place. Our Bree was raised right so the place was clean,
but it’s easy to keep a place clean that has nothing in it. Bree was sleeping
on a couch someone had thrown out and had Amber in a cheap cot that she’d
scrimped and saved for. The fanciest thing she owned was the laptop we gave her
when she graduated from high school and she used that 3G business we bought as
well so that she could do her studies online to become a teacher. She didn’t
tell us what was going on, because she was afraid that we’d treat her the way
her parents had.” Daniel felt his own eyes moisten and silent tears, revoked by
past pain, slipped slowly down his weather-worn cheeks.

“We do okay, Todd,” Daniel said, wiping
the tears away roughly with his hand. “You know that. Life in Alaska is hard
and chews up the money as fast as you make it if you farm, but we’d managed to
save a bit. So, we cashed that in and used our time in Columbus to set Amber
up. We got her a better place, not fancy, but safer, a bit bigger, and some
basic furniture. We paid for her studies and put a bit of money every month in
her bank account, so that she could buy some food, some things for the baby and
so on. She’s a good girl and we trusted her and she hasn’t let us down. Yes,
she could’ve told you about Amber sooner and yes, we spoke to her about it
often, but the poor girl was going through so much with her own parents and
trying to get by that we couldn’t press. We were scared that she’d cut us off
and of what would happen if she did. She was like a deer caught in the
headlights and we were too scared to make a move, so we did what we could.”

Moira moved to sit in between the two
men, taking a hand of each man in one of hers. “Todd, we never saw our son
again until his funeral – we were that disappointed in him. The first time we
went to see Amber and saw what they’d done, we were so angry that we went straight
to them and had a very, very unpleasant argument.” Shutting her eyes, she
pushed the memory away before she carried on. “The next time I saw the boy I
bore unto this earth was when he was put into the grave. So, things aren’t as
simple as they seem.”

Todd wasn’t made of ice and he knew what
it was like to see someone you loved, someone who disappointed you once they’d
gone from the earth. He wiped the tears from his own face and tugged at their
linked hands until he had her wrapped in his arms, patting her back as she
sobbed and grieved. Over her head, his eyes met Daniel’s moist ones. “I think
that there’s been enough dwelling in the past and enough blame to go around for
all of us.” Gently pushing Moira away, he cradled her face in his hands and kissed
her on the cheek. “I’m sorry you had to go through that again to give me my
answers, but I’m glad you did because it helped me put things into perspective.
Thank you.”

With a teary smile, Moira responded,
“Then it’s been worth it. You are a fine man, Todd.”

Daniel threw a smile at the woman of his
heart and then a serious expression at Todd. “So, what is this perspective
you've gotten?” He looked questioningly at Todd. His voice held a firmness that
hinted at protectiveness. “Todd, as much as we want to do what’s right for you
and Amber, we can’t let it be at the expense of Bree’s happiness. She’s been
through too much already.” Daniel’s voice held warning.

“I get that now. I don’t want to hurt
Bree.” Todd ran his fingers through his hair, his habitual act when thinking or
frustrated. “I won’t deny that I’m still hurt and angry at her for keeping
things from me. I would’ve helped her. But,” he continued, before Daniel and
Moira could interject and get defensive, “I do know what it is like to have to go
it alone, without parents that don't do what they should. It doesn’t lessen the
hurt, the anger, but it does help me put a foot forward.”

He met both of their gazes, “I want
what’s best for Amber and at the moment, that means stability here in Devil’s Peak
with both of her parents and her great-grandparents. The plain truth is that if
Bree’s unhappy, being the only sure thing that Amber’s had in her life, it will
make Amber unhappy, and I don’t want that. I realise that Bree and I have to
work together, and seeing as we’re being frank, I’ll share with you that she
and I came to that agreement earlier today when she told me about Amber.”

“That’s a perspective that we can live
with.” Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll repeat what I said at dinner. You’re
welcome here anytime and we’ll do our bit to help you kids - whatever it takes
to make this work”

“Thank you,” Todd shook Daniel’s hand in
the age-old masculine gesture of understanding.        

Daniel sat back in his chair and lit his
pipe, puffing in satisfaction born out of resting after an eventful day, “So
what’s next?”

“What’s next is that I take my first
vacation from work and spend it with my daughter and her mother. I’ll help them
settle in and show Amber a bit of Alaska. I’ll take things one day at a time.
Speaking of day, the winter one’s are short and I wanted to discuss Bree’s
plans with her so that we can work out an itinerary of sorts. I don’t know much
yet about being a dad, but I can do an itinerary.” God knows he does enough of
them for work; he can do a super one for his daughter. He’d show her the best
of Alaska that he could. “And speaking of Bree, where is she?”

Daniel looked at him sheepishly, “Bree’s
fast asleep in Amber’s room. She read another bedtime story after you kissed
Amber goodnight and couldn’t keep her eyes open. The poor girl’s worn out from
the trip.”

Aah… Todd caught on, “And that created
the perfect opportunity for the two of you to corner me.”

“Well, you know we meant well,” said
Moira the guilt of the naughty etched in her blush. “And we’re old; we can’t
wait for you young people to catch on to things properly. I need to see things
put right before I meet my maker.”

“That’s bull, Moira. Old, yeah right!”
Todd let out a laugh and joined in by both Moira and Daniel, let it roll.
“Using your age when I know that you can do most things better than younger
folk is just downright manipulative. Meet your maker. Huh!” It felt good to
laugh after the day he’d had and he let it go. Moira and Daniel must’ve felt
the same because before long, the three of them were wiping at tears again, but
this time, the tears were born of laughter and relief.

The next morning Todd visited the Ramsay
farm because it felt odd to have met his six year old daughter the day before and
not see her upon waking up. Warming his hands on the coffee mug, he bid
farewell to Moira and Daniel who conspicuously found a long list of chores that
were waiting for them outside on the farm-side of the property. Amber was still
sleeping the exhausted sleep, born of experiencing too many emotions and
change.

So, in the twilight haze that
constituted the late Alaskan morning, Todd and Bree were alone in the large
farmhouse kitchen. He elected not to tell her the details of the discussion
he'd had with her grandparents. Intuitively, feeling that it would embarrass
her, which was self-defeating. He’d lain awake for hours the previous night and
had made the decision to do whatever it took to help Amber acclimate to her
newly extended family and her new home, which meant working closely with Bree.
He wanted to give Amber what he’d never had - an active mother and father, a
warm home, and an integrated family. Although he had twisted the options, rung
them out then twisted them again, the only feasible option seemed to be
marriage. To his mind, that was the first step towards attaining stability. Of
course, he was still furious with Bree, but he had to put those feelings aside
for the sake of his daughter. He’d loved Bree once and perhaps in time, could
forgive her and they could become friends again.

He couldn’t deny that he was still
attracted to her. Just looking at her sipping at the steamy liquid across the
table had him panting internally and sent his thoughts into the gutter. In
fact, the table held some interesting prospects if you added Bree and his
imagination into the equation. So, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to be
married if it meant that he could see her every night and have Amber in his
life full time. His own relationship with his part-time father had been
tempestuous at best and he didn’t want that for his own child.

He’d make the best of the cards he’d
been dealt, but it was too soon to play his hand. She was still skittish and he
had to woo her, play the game, and get to know Amber. The rest would follow. He
was determined to walk away a winner.

“So, I was thinking that we could work
out a schedule of sorts,” Todd interrupted the silence. “That way, I can spend
time with Amber and show her some of the sights and be involved in settling her
in and preparing her for school. It might also give you some time to get
settled; reacquaint yourself with the town and old friends. What do you think?”

Bree didn’t really know what to think.
She was dumbstruck by his lack of anger and eagerness to work together. Gone
was the frosted reproach of the day before and what she’d supposed would be the
biggest hurdle, had turned out to be a non-issue. Not wanting to look a gift
horse in the mouth, she eagerly took the bait, “Sure that sounds great. In fact,
it sounds perfect. I have already enrolled her and filled out all of the forms.
Everything has been submitted.” She stopped rambling and took a moment. “I’ll
be teaching at the school too as I’m taking over for Laura, who resigned to
stay home and look after her baby.” 

“So, you’re a teacher, huh?” He asked
with genuine pleasure for her. He knew that she’d qualified as a teacher, but
couldn’t tell her without informing her of his confidential chat with her
grandparents the previous evening. “Your studies have paid off then. I’m happy
for and proud of you, Bree. Well done.”

“Thanks.” She was once again puzzled.
What had brought on this change, first his decision to work amicably with her
as a parent and now praise? “Things have worked out quite nicely. I start my
first day at the pre-kindergarten class the day before Amber starts school. So,
when she starts school, I’ll be just across the playground if she needs me.
I’ve also arranged a tour of the school for her, she will meet her new teacher,
and the principal the day before school starts so it won’t be so foreign to
her. If you want, you could spend the morning with Amber and then bring her
over to the school and be part of the tour and meetings?”

“Sounds good,” Todd agreed. “What about
in between then and now?”

“The only other plans I have are
probably the same as yours so I don’t see why we can’t do it together. I have
to do some Christmas shopping and I want to decorate the house with Amber and
my grandparents. They’ve been putting it off until we got here so she could be
part of it. It will be her first family Christmas with more than just her and
me. In fact, why don’t you join in? She can have both her parents with her and
her great-grandparents.” He nodded, wrote it down on the makeshift itinerary
he’d created, so she carried on, “I also want to get her some warm clothes.
Gran sent me some basics, but it’s not enough.”

“You might want to get some for yourself
as well, I imagine,” Todd stated, as he scribbled.

“Some what?” She looked at him questioningly.

“Clothes. You probably need some too?”
Except for a change in shirt, she was wearing the same things she’d worn the
day before. He ignored her gaping expression and spoke as he wrote, “Clothes
for Amber and Bree. Okay, what’s next?”

She flushed with embarrassment. “Todd,
that’s very sweet of you, but I can’t afford that. I’ll get some things for
Amber. I’ve got what I need for myself. I’m good, thank you.”

He waved away her protest. “With all due
respect, Bree, you’re the mother of my daughter and I’ll be paying for Amber’s
clothes, so I can certainly spring for some stuff for you too.” He cut off her
counter-argument. “No, don’t argue, you owe me, so indulge me please?” Geez, he
remembered the Bree he used to go out with and how much time she’d spent
grooming and primping with makeup, clothes, and shoes. She’d been just like the
other girls and had spoken to him of clothes while he’d nodded, trying to score
points while not understanding a word she’d said. That Bree was miles apart
from the one sitting across from him who felt that one outfit and a few changes
of a shirt was enough. Guilt tugged at him, but he shoved it away, focusing on
wooing instead.

“You have a say in Amber’s life, Todd,
not mine. Don’t play dirty.” Her eyes were narrowed and a pink glow of
irritation stained her beautiful face. She never could hide what she felt.

“Okay. Sorry. That was out of line.” He
deliberately reached out for her hand and ignored the frisson of excitement
that the contact ignited. He offered an explanation. “You’ve been the sole
provider for the last seven years. I should’ve been helping with that. So, to
me, buying you some clothes and some other things you might need is
self-indulgence. My way of making up for lost time and it helps with the guilt,
knowing that I haven’t contributed at all so far. So, please may I buy you some
things?”

He put on the works. She’d never been
able to resist him when he pleaded with her so reasonably in the past and it
looked like she still couldn’t resist. “Okay, fine. I’ll accept the offer as
long as it doesn’t become a regular occurrence. That’s sweet of you. Thank
you.”

“My pleasure,” he grinned, thinking that
he planned to make the upkeep of his family a very regular occurrence in his
life. “Now, before we go wake up our sleeping beauty,” he relished the feel of
the word, our, on his tongue, “let’s put some activities together on this
list.” He pointed to the piece of paper he’d been writing on.

xxx

The next few days went by in an
activity-filled blur. They completed their shopping for Christmas, clothes, and
school supplies by the second day on the infamous itinerary. This afforded the
perfect opportunity for Amber and Bree to see the variety of new stores that
had sprung up in the booming tourist town. Bree remembered having to fly to
Fairbanks when she was growing up to go on a shopping spree. Although
Fairbanks, being the closest metropolis to Devil’s Peak, was not far in
distance, the terrain between the town and the city constituted a web of
rivers, mountains, forests, and vast, lonely expanses of uninhabited, wild
land, so the most efficient way to get to the city was to fly. Fortunately,
coordinated flights out of town, such as those provided by courier services,
Todd’s business being one of the providers, and the economic growth in Devil’s
Peak made that a superfluous exercise now. Bree, for one, was glad of that. The
short daylight hours in winter meant that you crammed as much as you could in
the little time provided and things done quickly and conveniently was a bonus.

Shopping in town also allowed them to
fuel the rumors enough so that everyone could have a good yack about the
ready-made family and get it out of their systems. The gossip was inevitable
and putting it off would’ve only drawn it out. She wasn’t naïve though. She
knew that they’d soon expect a wedding invitation and the idea was sweet, but
completely impractical. As much as she had loved him before, she was not going
to jeopardize the hard-earned equilibrium in her life with romance.

Currently, things with Todd seemed to be
going well, if a bit tentative. He spent every moment of his time with Amber
and by default her too. When he wasn’t showing them the sites in and around
town, he spent time with Amber on the farm. Todd had even joined in the
Christmas decorating activities, respectfully taking over the climbing and
physically demanding tasks from Daniel. At Amber’s insistence, his home had
also becoming a kitsch, tinsel-twinkling zone of red, green, and gold. 

Bree loved his home. It was a modest,
ranch-style house on a good five acres of land, situated in a family-oriented
neighborhood that skirted the edges of town. The house had enough room to build
on or to just enjoy some of the outdoors in his backyard. Todd hadn’t seen the
point of decorating his house, not really being the Christmas celebrating type,
but Amber had managed to manipulate him nicely. Bree let that one go,
admittedly finding an immature sense of satisfaction in his grumpiness as he
paid for a horde of unnecessary knick-knacks.

Bree was making rosemary and bread
stuffing for the turkey when she heard Amber chattering as she ran into the
kitchen, Todd and Daniel following her closely behind. “Gran, mom,” Amber
exclaimed, bobbing up and down in excitement. “I saw Santa and his house and
these huge ice cupltures.”

“Ice sculptures,” Bree corrected. Amber
had been treated with a trip to the North Pole, a town recreated in Alaska in
honor of the Christmas spirit.

Amber nodded, “Uh-huh, and they were in
all these really cool shapes. I saw Bambi, animals, and even elves. Then Dad
and grandpa took me to have hot chocolate and waffles at Santa’s shop. He's got
his own restaurant and I saw Santa go past us in his sled with the reindeer and
everything.” Amber took a breath and then carried right on, “Santa’s town, it’s
called North Pole, you know?” She shared knowledgably. “It’s got lights and
lots of Christmas trees and this huge toy store.” Grabbing Bree by the hand,
Amber didn’t even notice the amused laughter of the adults. “Come see.”

“Wow,” Bree exclaimed, enchanted by her
little one’s glee. The toy certainly was impressive, taking up a huge portion
of the living area. “It’s really cool. You could play for ages with it.”

“Uh-huh,” Amber’s head bobbed up and
down vigorously. “Dad bought it for me. He said that it’s my pre-Christmas
present. I like Alaska, there’s lots of presents here.” Bree bent down and gave
the miniature Santa Land the attention that Amber expected. It was a replica of
Santa’s house and the surrounding street and homes found in North Pole. Todd
and Daniel had taken Amber there for the day so that Bree and Moira could
finish the preparation for Christmas lunch the next day.

“It’s really pretty, Amber.” She kissed
her daughter’s cheek, happy to see the sparkle in her eyes. “Did you say thank
you to your dad?”

“Uh-huh.” Amber replied. The expression
was becoming a favorite of hers. “Mom, you’ve got to say thank you too. You’ll
have to play with me, like you promised, because I don’t have friends here yet,
so you have to say thank you too.”

“Of course,” Bree turned to look at Todd
who was watching the spectacle indulgently from his spot on the sofa. “Thank
you, Todd. This is a lovely gift.”

Amber cut off the response that Todd was
about to give, “No mom! You have to say thank you properly. And, Daddy is
family so you have to give him a hug and a kiss like I do.”

Cursing the rule Amber and she had made
up about how to say thanks to family, Bree made her way over to Todd with
chagrin. If she refused to do so, it would indicate to Amber that Todd was not
part of the family. “Thank you, Todd.” She perched to give Todd a kiss on his
cheek as he moved his face towards hers. In the living room, with their
daughter keenly watching to see that they family rule was obeyed, their lips
touched for the first time in seven years. It was such an innocent kiss, but it
didn’t explain the sudden heat she was feeling. Stunned, they both jumped apart
after just a few seconds, although it felt like ages, they stared at each other
with naked lust.

Amber’s giggles broke through Bree’s
whirlwind thoughts and she quickly completed the ritual with a hug, avoiding
frontal bodily contact as far as possible, making it swift and evading his
eyes. To make light of the incident and to distract her from the pull of
desire, she asked Amber, “Amber, honey, I think your dad will be playing with
that too, so he should say thank you too, don’t you think?”