Home is Where the Heart is (9 page)

“I...we can’t be doing this,” she hesitated, nothing making any sense to her whatsoever. She showed him to the door. “You need to go. Now.”

Jordan made no attempt to leave; instead, he moved toward her with every intention of kissing her again. She couldn’t take it anymore. Something had to be done. She needed to know how he truly felt about her. Did he love her as much as she still loved him? As she hesitated on the spot, watching his gaze slide over her as if all her womanly curves were on display for him, she realized that despite his desire for her right now, he had no definite plans to be with her that she knew of. She needed to learn where she stood with him. It was now or never.

“Jordan,” she whimpered groggily into his chest, as she linked one arm around his neck and used the other to hold onto the table for support. A part of her desperately wanted to live in the moment with Jordan, give herself completely to him with an all-access pass, while the other part of her knew no matter how good it felt to be kissed by Jordan and how much she knew her body was accepting of his, it simply couldn’t go any further than kissing. The moment was rushing too many hardcore memories back to the surface—memories she wasn’t sure she was ready to rehash all over again. Cassie couldn’t risk Jordan burning her again.

“Don’t talk,” he carped, kissing his way along her neck until he found her lips again. Each kiss became more persistent, like he had been craving the opportunity to kiss her again for a long time.

Then she felt herself struggling with her conscience, realizing that as much as she had wanted to have him kiss and touch her, it was wrong. She couldn’t open herself up to heartbreak again. She wouldn’t do it to Jake.

“No,” she managed to get out, using her hands to push him away with all the ferocity she could muster together. She raised her hands to his chest, pushing him away from her with a little more force this time.

“Are you saying you don’t feel the chemistry still between us? I do. I have since the tavern.”

“You have no idea how much I’m turned on right now, and all I want to do is give in to these desires that I have for you, but I can’t,” Cassie answered softly. “You can’t go around playing with my feelings. Sure, you’re back now, but for how long? Sooner or later, you will go back to Miami, because it’s what you do and what you’re good at. Then I will be at square one all over again, wondering when you will come back to me and if you ever really loved me. I’m not going down that road again, Jordan. I realized a long time ago that you don’t live here anymore.” Cassie let out a deep sigh, moving past Jordan, unable to look him in the eyes as she turned the knob of the door and opened it. “You need to leave now.”

And just like that, Jordan knew better than to argue with her. It wouldn’t get him anywhere—she could be just as stubborn as his father—especially tonight, when he was in no state of mind to argue back.

Cassie watched him stagger down the path leading to the sidewalk; thankful his house was a mere four-or-so blocks away from here. He wouldn’t have far to walk, providing he was heading home to sleep it off, but she figured he had nowhere else to go. Home was his best option, despite not being on the best of terms with his father right now.

She dreaded introducing her son to his father if he was only going to bail on being his dad. Jake didn’t deserve that one bit.

A
couple of days had passed since Jordan’s impromptu, drunken, late-night visit to Cassie’s house, and she was surprised by the fact she hadn’t heard a peep from her baby-daddy, making her wonder whether he had mulled over the decision of becoming a dad.

Cassie didn’t understand what went through her ex-boyfriend’s mind at the best of times, but she figured it must be nice to be given the choice of whether he wanted to be a dad or not. Six years ago, it was a no-brainer for herself. Although Jake wasn’t planned, she really didn’t see any other option but to go through with the pregnancy and become a mother. Abortion was simply not an option for her; she couldn’t see herself going through with terminating her pregnancy. Adoption was out of the question, especially when she had carried the baby boy for nine months. To simply give him up—whether it would be for a better life or not—she couldn’t do that. She was his mother, plain and simple.

Becoming a mom was the only choice that felt right to Cassie, and although it meant having to grow up a lot faster than most people her age, she wouldn’t go back and change her decision if given the choice to do so. Jake was her world. He meant everything to her.

It was just another typical Saturday morning at Cassie’s house. Today was game day for Jake. Since the beginning of the season, he was a proud team member of the Little Devils Baseball Team, and he loved it. They played their games every Saturday morning at the local sports park in Yellow Valley with Nick as their coach, which usually meant that after every game, Nick treated the team to either pizza or ice cream—whether they won or lost.

“Have you brushed your teeth?” Cassie called out to Jake from the kitchen.

In a full burst of energy, Jake came striding into the kitchen in his baseball attire, consisting of white pants, cleated sneakers, and team jersey that read
Little Devils
on the front, and had the number eight stitched on the back.

His face was full of smiles. He loved Saturdays and being able to play baseball with his little friends from school, but also the fact one of his favorite adults was his coach. He adored Nick just as much as Nick adored him. He was the best choice Cassie had ever made when she nominated him as Jake’s surrogate father figure.

“I’m ready!” Jake said proudly, his mouth opening widely to show his mother how clean his teeth were, knowing she’d make him prove he’d actually done what she asked. It wouldn’t have been the first time Jake tried to fib his mom into thinking he had brushed his teeth when he really hadn’t.

“Have you got everything in your bag?” she asked him, referring to his bag with the baseball mitt and bat Nick gave him as a present for his fifth birthday.

“No, I’ll go get it. It’s in my room,” he replied then he sped off to his bedroom to retrieve his items.

Cassie walked through to the foyer, pulling her blonde hair into a neat little twist on top of her head while she waited by the front door. Make-up was minimal today; she was thankful she was blessed with clear skin—regardless of the amount of make-up she
did
wear though—as she checked the light coat of powder and blush she had put on before she left her bedroom.

Just enough
, she thought to herself with a small smile.

Even if she didn’t have somebody to look pretty for, it was nice to do it for herself on occasion.

The shrill sound of her iPhone buzzed at her from within the side pocket of her black handbag.

Cassie slipped the phone out and turned it over so she could see the lit-up screen. Jordan’s name flashed across the middle, next to the little text message symbol.

She unlocked her phone, instantly entering into her messages to read his text.

I’m sorry, but it’s just all too much for me right now. I can’t be the kind of dad Jake deserves to have, when I didn’t have it growing up either. It’s better if he doesn’t know about me.

She should have seen it coming, but instead, there was a tiny piece of her heart ripped to shreds by Jordan once again. She couldn’t allow herself to think of him right now.

Jake came running to the door with his bag on his shoulders, a huge smile planted on his face like he didn’t have a care in the world and all that mattered was baseball.

Cassie’s heart melted back together slightly.

Today and every other day would be all about Jake.

Meanwhile, at an airport a few hundred miles outside of Yellow Valley, Jordan sat pondering over the choices he had made in his life as he waited for his flight back to Miami.

What a bust of a return trip home this had been
, he thought to himself.

He thought back to the text he sent Cassie, hoping she wouldn’t be too upset by his choice to bail on becoming someone’s father. It was better this way. Jake and Cassie were better off without him in their lives. Jake didn’t need him; Cassie had already proven that little fact. She was doing well as a single parent and didn’t need him turning their lives upside-down, which was all he ever would have done.

But his mind kept flashing back to the afternoon he caught Cassie at home. His mind thought back to the little boy with ice cream around his mouth. His child. He still couldn’t believe it. He had a son, and Jake looked every little ounce like him.

Jordan couldn’t help but wonder if leaving so soon was really the right decision for him. Knowing he was a father, could he simply walk away from getting to know his own kid?

Conflicting feelings were building up from within. Jordan was suddenly torn over what to do. There was a time when leaving Yellow Valley seemed like the easiest thing to do, and although he was sitting at an airport waiting on his plane that would be ready to take him a thousand miles away from home, he doubted this time would be as easy as the last.

Leaving home seemed like the easiest option, but it was also the coward’s way out. Sure, for Jordan, it made sense that getting out of Yellow Valley meant he was also getting away from his pretentious father, but it also meant that he would be a thousand miles away from Cassie and Jake. Was it really his
best
option right now?

Jordan had already made the mistake leaving town once before, and by doing so, he had missed out on the opportunity to be a part of his son’s life—not to mention, share a life with Cassie. Was bailing this time around really worth missing the chance to get to know Jake?

There were both pros and cons for his present life in Miami, where he had settled nicely into his Quarterback position with the Dolphins, residing in a luxury waterfront three-bedroom house. Had he not discovered Jake, it would’ve been so easy to slip back into his Miami life. But now, Jordan’s old life in Yellow Valley was on the brink of being yearned for.

Suddenly, Jordan knew what he had to do—what would be the best outcome for everyone, including his father, Cassie, Jake, and those living in his new life in Florida. He just hoped that at some point he would be able to have the best of both worlds.