Honey Whiskey (A Bastards MC Novel) (30 page)

She bit her lip, playing with the
hoop in the middle. She sighed before she answered. “Dean’s an
enforcer, Joey. Whenever the club has trouble, he comes to stay
with us. Whatever is going on, it’s bad enough that they want to
have eyes on us.”

“
Enforcer?” My
voice sounded weak even to my own ears.

She tipped her head and raised an
eyebrow, as if to say, ‘How do you not know this?’ Instead, she
swallowed and then clarified. “For the club, Jo. He does security,
amongst other things. He doesn’t have a family of his own, so it’s
his job to protect us if Matt can’t be here.”

Suddenly it all made sense—Dean
telling me that he had to come because Rocker sent him, Dean acting
like he’d known Sammy his whole life, Matty telling me he’d trust
Dean with his life. “I don’t know about any of that,” I assured
her. “My face looks like this because I’m taking a self-defense
class.”

She smirked. “You actually have balls enough
to get in the ring with Cris?”

I laughed. “No! Nick’s teaching
me.”

“
Your fiancé’s
brave.” Becky looked behind me just as hands grabbed my shoulders,
pulling me back into a familiar body, and lips found the spot where
my neck met my shoulder. Wrapping his arms around me tight, he
inhaled, making me shiver. Then he was gone, crossing the kitchen
in two strides and grabbing his ex-wife in a bone crushing hug.
“Don’t hug me!” she admonished as she hugged him back. “I’m pissed
at you.”

“
Me? Why?” He stood, looking from
me to her and back. I knew the look on her face too well, and
excused myself before they started arguing. I wanted to hear what
they were going to say, but they needed a few minutes to talk in
private.

Wandering out onto the deck, I saw
Dean. He didn’t turn when he heard me. He just sat in his chair,
watching the kids and sipping on a bottle of beer. I plopped down
on the edge of a chaise lounge next to him. “Are you really here to
be our security guard?” He nodded. “So, you’re just gonna follow me
and Matty around?”

He didn’t turn to look at me. “Not
you and Matt, no. My job is to protect them.” He nodded his head
towards the kids, still playing and screaming away. “I’m gonna
follow them, stay with them, play with them, and make sure nothing
at all happens to them.”

“
Really?” I asked, my tone cool.
“You’re just gonna spend all your time with kids? And, how exactly
are you gonna keep them safe?”

“
I like kids.
I’d rather spend time with them than adults. We have more in
common.”
Makes sense, since you’re about
as emotionally mature as they are,
I
thought snidely. “I’m good at my job. You don’t need to know how I
do it, just that you can trust me with the lives of your
children.”

I swallowed and looked back to the
kids. The silence stretched between us as we watched them play
capture the flag and chase each other. Lily got the advantage and
shot up the ladder before either boy could stop her. Once the flag
was in her hands, she twirled and hooted, doing a victory
dance.

“
She’s beautiful.”

“
Did you seriously just tell me my
eight year old was beautiful?”

He scoffed. “Jesus, Jo. I don’t
belong to the Bastards just so I can be a pedophile and fly under
the radar. We kill sick fucks that have those thoughts.” He sound
pissed at me, and without giving me a second to process the words
he’d just said, he continued. “I’m saying that she is a beautiful
little girl. And, if she’s that pretty at eight, we’re gonna be
fucked by the time she’s a teenager and starts realizing boys are
not the enemy and that they definitely do not have cooties. She is
gonna be a world class beauty, and we’re gonna haveta scare the
vultures away. She is adorable.”

I laughed at that, taking the compliment for
what it was and trying not to read too much into it. “She is. She
gets her looks from her Daddy.”

Dean turned towards me then,
shaking his head. “Not from what I can see. She looks just like her
Momma.” I felt the blush rise in my cheeks. No one ever looked at
Lily and saw me. Even though I had been blonde as a child, everyone
assumed she got her hair from Will. Her skin was a blatant contrast
to mine, darker than I got when I was completely tan. And, she was
a tiny spec of a child, short and skinny for her age, where no one
had ever accused me of being skinny. As if reading my thoughts, he
continued. “She’s not always gonna be a minuscule little girl. One
day, she’s gonna grow up and be all feminine curves. Then you’ll
see that she is the spitin’ image of you. That’s probably gonna be
the day you decide she can’t leave the clubhouse without at least
three brothah’s watchin’ her every move.”

“
Four. And,
that’s when we let her out of the clubhouse. I say we send her to
an all girl’s boarding school.” Matty’s voice was full of humor as
he walked to my chair, swung a leg over, and pulled me back into
his chest. 

“
We may have to.” Dean nodded, as
if taking Matty’s absurd idea seriously. “She’s gonna be trouble.
Does Cris know the club has a new princess?”

Matt laughed. “Jesus, don’t tell her. Then
poor Lily will be her new pet and we’ll have two of ‘em on our
hands. Naw, we’ll just let Lil grow up and see where time takes
her.”

No. Uh-uh. Never happening.
Absolutely not.
“You two are
wrong. My daughter is not gonna grow up and be
the next Cris
. She
’s not gonna grow up and be the club princess, or a club
whore, or an old lady, or anything else to do with the club. She’s
gonna go to college, have an adventure, and find herself. Away from
men that
tell her
she doesn’t have a say and that she has to belong to
someone.”

Matty tensed behind me, but
Dean just laughed. “You’re right, Jo. She’s not gonna be any of
those things. ‘Cause that little beauty right there?” He pointed at
Lily with his bottle, still dancing around and insulting her
brother and Sammy. “She’s gonna have every single brothah wrapped
around her little fingah. One day, she’s gonna be the motherfucking
club Queen.”

Chapter 28

Matty

I listened to Dean’s spiel half
amused, until I felt Jo tense a little more with each word. He
didn’t wait for either of us to respond. He just set his beer on
the floor next to his chair, stood up, and strode down the stairs
towards the kids. Jo and I sat in silence, neither sure what to
say. Did she know that he was right? Or was she fuming because she
wanted him to be wrong?

I wrapped my arm tighter around her waist and
leaned in so my chin was on her shoulder. I could feel the stress
coming off her in waves and knew that it might have absolutely
nothing to do with Dean’s opinion and everything to do with her
own. Did she really think that I was trying to oppress her?
 

She was wrong. Not every
woman had to belong to someone, there were plenty of women in the
club that didn’t. Jo was mine, yeah, but, shit, the ring on her
finger showed everyone that she owned
me
. When it came right down to it,
she had more say in my life than I did. If she wanted me to walk
away from this life, I would. I’d be fucking miserable, but I’d do
it and I’d understand where she was coming from ‘cause being an old
lady wasn’t for everyone. I would do anything to be with her, I was
that much of a pansy assed asshole. If she decided to leave, I’d do
everything in my power to change her mind, but I couldn’t make her
stay. It was her choice, and when she finally had all the pieces of
the puzzle, there was a very good chance I’d be all alone. I
sighed.

“
We’re gonna
have to talk about this shit. It’s not gonna magically disappear
just because we ignore it, is it?” I didn’t need to explain
further. I’d tried to bring up the subject a few times over the
last week and Jo had shot me down every single time.

She leaned back into me, turning
her face to mine. Giving me a quick peck on the cheek, she shook
her head once. “No, it’s not going to disappear. But, I don’t want
to know. I’ve told you. I made up my mind, Matty. The past is in
the past.”

My chest ached. “It’s not,
though. It will never be that fucking simple and you know it.
Pretending it is will only make it harder for you.” I resisted the
urge to lean into her and kiss away the worry line that appeared
between her eyes. “I’m not talking about the past right now.
There’s a lot going on, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m
keeping things from you.”
Even when I
am.

“
But you are.”
Jo sighed and turned away. I followed her gaze. Dean was now
chasing the kids in a game of tag and all four of them were
laughing. “Let’s not do this now. Not here.” I started to agree,
but she cut me off. “There was a time when that’s all I wanted. You
to let me in, I mean. To tell me the secrets that it seems everyone
else knows. I’d like to think that if you love me as much as you
say you do, then I’d know everything important about you and the
rest of it is just BS. But, every time we go somewhere, it seems
like something else I don’t know pops up.”

I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was
holding. Finding her hand, I pulled it into mine and gripped it
tight. “And now?” She turned back to me, the look of confusion
clear on her face. “You said there was a time when you wanted to
know all my secrets. What about now?”

She shrugged and turned away
before pulling her hand out of mine and standing up. “You. Now, I
just want you. And I’ll take you whatever way I can.” Biting her
lip, she turned and jogged down the stairs as she adjusted her
sunglasses back on her face.

Watching her go, I leaned forward,
putting my elbows on my knees, and steepled my hands. There was so
much to think about. My mind was still reeling from the
conversation with Becky and now I had even more to
contemplate.

When I’d walked into my old house a half hour
ago, it had been to say hello and finalize my week with Sam. The
look on my ex-wife’s face as she talked to Jo made my stomach knot
though, and I almost snuck out before they’d seen me.

“
You’re fiancé’s
brave.” Had been the first words Becky had uttered when she’d
spotted me in the door. I’d gone into the room and kissed Jo
quickly before I approached Becky, pulling her into a familiar hug.
She hugged me back, but had told me not to hug her, that she was
pissed at me. I knew it was coming. As soon as she’d said the word
fiancé, I’d realized Jo had told her before I had the chance. Of
course she’d be angry. We never, and I mean never, made decisions
like that without talking to the other and making sure that it was
the best thing for Sam.

I pulled away and grabbed her
chin. “I’m sorry, Bex. I should have talked to you before I asked
her. It happened so fast…”

“
Fuck you!” She pulled away,
smacking my hand back as she did. “You seriously think I’m mad
about that?” She turned her back on me and slammed a dish into the
sink.

Leaning on the counter, I gawked at her back.
Becky never swore, and if she did, something was seriously wrong.
“I… uh,” I started cautiously, not sure what to say. “If I’d known
that Jo was going to tell you, I’d have come in and we’d have done
it together.”

She turned, glaring. “Jo didn’t
tell me, you ass! Dean did. It’s about damn time that you two got
your shit together and agreed that you’re madly in love. Don’t you
think? Twelve years is a long freaking time, Matt. I was sure I was
going to die from old age before you two figured it out.” Crossing
her arms in front of her, she gave me the death glare. “This has
nothing to do with Jo.”

I was at a loss then. Shaking my head, I
asked, “Ok. What’d I do this time?” Even though I tried to cover
it, the question was filled with irritation.

Instantly her body was on alert and she pulled
back her shoulders. “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Matthew
Murphy!”

I laughed. “Rebecca Murphy! I’m
not sure what I’ve done, but I can guarantee I deserve your
attitude. My poor horse, though? What did he ever do to
you?”

She tried to keep a straight face but it
cracked slightly. “You are such an asshole.”

Nodding, I agreed. “What in the
hell is going on, Bex?”

She sighed and looked sad. “Dean
is in my backyard, Matt. There is only ever one reason for Dean to
be here. You haven’t told me anything, and we both know I know
better than to ask. But worse than that is that Jo doesn’t know
there is anything going on. Why in the hell are you keeping her in
the dark? She didn’t even know what he does!”

I could feel my irritation
growing, and I needed to nip it in the bud before I blew. “Jo knows
what she needs to.”

“
Exactly!” Becky
threw her hands in the air. “That’s what I’m talking about. I
thought you learned from our mistakes, and you weren’t going to
make them again.”

My eyes narrowed. “I’m not making the same
mistakes. You knew about the club. You knew about my life. You
chose to stay out of it.”