Hope (26 page)

Later, Nell got into Hope’s old bed in the little room. It felt cold and damp with lack of use, but it was far better than sharing a bed with Albert.

She remembered now the words she’d had with Hope the day before she left with Lady Harvey. Hope had said she had as much chance of finding a sweetheart while at Briargate as she did of becoming Queen. She wouldn’t have said that or looked so glum if there had been a young man already on her mind.

Nor would she have left a letter here for Albert to read. She would have left it in her room at the big house. In fact, if she had been running away she wouldn’t have come here at all in case she ran into Albert.

Like a beam of light in a dark room, suddenly Nell could guess how it all came about. Hope wasn’t running away, she’d come here to tidy up, just as Nell had asked her to do. Albert had probably come in while she was here, and perhaps Hope scolded him about the mess. And he hit her.

Nell could almost see the scene playing out in front of her: Albert losing control completely, but then realizing Hope would tell Baines who would then tell Sir William.

That was why Hope’s letter was so strange. She’d written it all right, but coerced to do so by Albert. She might have agreed to leave Briargate just so he’d stop hurting her, but how could he let her go? She would have run straight to Matt.

All night Nell lay awake staring into the darkness, terrifying visions of Albert strangling Hope consuming her. She desperately wanted there to be another explanation, but what other one could there be?

Soon after the clock downstairs struck four she heard Albert come creeping out of the room next door. She braced herself, thinking he was coming for her now. But he crept on down the stairs, and just a minute later she heard him go out of the front door. That was further confirmation of his guilt. If he’d had no part in Hope’s disappearance he wouldn’t creep around, nor would he go out over an hour early just to avoid seeing her.

Nell’s cheek throbbed – she could feel it was swollen – and her anger and grief came back tenfold.

It was Christmas Eve, a day of frantic preparation, yet in the past always a joyous one. Up until a couple of years ago there had always been many guests at Briargate, with a lavish celebration supper on Christmas Eve, followed the next day by an even more extravagant dinner. Nell had known years when a quartet of musicians had been hired, and they’d rolled back the rugs in the drawing room for the guests to dance. There were fancy-dress parties too. She recalled Lady Harvey dressed as Nell Gwynn and Sir William as Charles II, laughter and singing resounding throughout the house.

But this Christmas was not going to be a happy one for anyone.

Two hours later, as dawn was breaking, Nell picked up the pillowcase holding her belongings and made for the door.

She had tidied up, not out of any sense of wifely duty, but merely to fill the time until she left for the big house. As she packed her things she found the dress Hope had taken was her oldest, a plain grey workaday one which would have been far too big for her. That was further confirmation of what she believed. If Hope had really been going to run off with her lover she would have cared what she looked like and taken the pretty pink and white one Nell had worn on her wedding day. But that was still folded away in the drawer, yet another symbol of all the dreams Albert had shattered for her.

‘Nell!’ Baines exclaimed as she swept into the servants’ hall where he was cleaning Sir William’s riding boots and plonked the full pillowcase of belongings on the floor. ‘What’s all that?’

‘My things,’ she said quietly. ‘I can’t live with Albert any longer.’

Baines looked stunned, but came over to her and lightly touched her inflamed cheek. ‘He hit you?’ he asked in little more than a whisper, his faded blue eyes grave with concern.

‘Yes, but it will be the last time,’ Nell said resolutely. ‘I’ll take up her ladyship’s early-morning tea now and talk to her about staying here. Is Sir William going out riding this morning?’

Baines frowned. ‘He’s already gone out, but Merlin is still in the stable. He had harsh words with Lady Harvey last night. I don’t think you are going to find her very receptive to you this morning.’

‘That’s too bad,’ Nell said tartly. ‘Just make sure Rose isn’t listening at the keyhole while I’m in with her.’

Baines had a heavy heart as he watched Nell walking back into the kitchen. He had never seen her so steely and grim-faced before; whatever came her way, she always carried on smiling. He guessed she thought Albert was in some way responsible for Hope leaving.

Baines didn’t like Albert, neither the way he looked down on the other servants nor his dour uncommunicative nature. He’d had even less time for him since the last occasion when he hit Hope, but he couldn’t see how Albert could be responsible for her leaving; since she’d moved into the big house, they hardly ever saw each other.

It had been a huge blow to Baines when Hope left, for she was a good girl and worked hard, but if Nell carried out her threat and left Albert, the whole fabric of Briargate would fall apart.

It was already threadbare: a skeleton staff, who with the best will in the world couldn’t take proper care of such a big house. With a drunken master, a mistress who seemed unaware of anyone but herself, and their son and heir growing up without any real guidance, disaster was imminent.

Yet the gentry expected their servants to behave with the utmost propriety, to obey the laws of the land and of the Church, even if they flouted the selfsame laws themselves. Nell had a spotless character, and over twenty years’ service in this house, but Baines doubted that would mean the master and mistress would support her desire to leave Albert. Wives who left their husbands were always pilloried, even if that husband was cruel, a womanizer or a drunk. The chances were they would order Nell back to Albert, and if she refused she’d be told to leave Briargate.

Lady Harvey was awake when Nell took her tray of tea in to her. ‘I’ve hardly slept a wink,’ she complained as she sat up. ‘The cold seemed to have got into my very bones. Then Rose woke me when she came in to light the fire.’

Nell was tempted to snap at her and launch right in and tell her how
her
night had been. But, as always, she murmured sympathy as she put a light wool shawl round her mistress’s shoulders and plumped up the pillows behind her back.

‘Rose didn’t get the bathwater hot enough last night either,’ Lady Harvey went on. ‘I think she resented me asking for one!’

‘She had been working since five in the morning,’ Nell said as she put the tray of tea across the woman’s lap. ‘She has to clean the whole of the house now, do the laundry and help Cook. I expect she was just very tired.’

‘But it’s her job to clean and fetch and carry!’ Lady Harvey said indignantly.

Nell bit back a sharp remark and went over to the windows to pull back the curtains. It was a grey, cold day, and the trees along the drive were skeletal and gaunt without their leaves, making the gatehouse clearly visible. She remembered how thrilled she’d been when Sir William said she and Albert could live there. She had been so excited at the idea of them having a home of their own she couldn’t sleep at night. But that was before the wedding. All those daydreams of a baby in her arms, a loving, caring husband, and her family visiting had all come to nothing.

As she turned back from the window, she picked up from the floor the dress that her mistress had worn to travel in the previous day.

‘There’s a bloodstain on that,’ Lady Harvey said sharply. ‘My courses must have begun while we were coming home. See to it, Nell.’

Nell looked at the woman she had adored and served selflessly for so many years, and suddenly saw her for what she really was; spoiled, vain and entirely self-centred. Even at forty-two, she was still beautiful, her blue silk nightgown the exact colour of her eyes, blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, and skin like porcelain. But there was a permanent sulky droop to her mouth and frown lines on her forehead from spending far too much time in a resentful state because her life hadn’t turned out as well as she had expected.

‘I will see to the dress,’ Nell said. ‘After I’ve talked to you about Hope.’

‘Oh, I don’t want to talk about that silly girl,’ Lady Harvey said irritably. ‘She’s made her bed, Nell, she must lie in it. Now, do you think the black satin dress I wore for the ball in Bath while I was still in mourning for my mother could be altered to make an afternoon dress? It has yards and yards of very fine material.’

Nell gritted her teeth. ‘I must talk to you about Hope, mam. You see, I think Albert has killed her.’

‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Nell.’ Lady Harvey gave a humourless laugh. ‘She ran off with a soldier. Even Baines has seen her letter. How on earth could you think Albert killed her? He’s such a sweet, gentle man.’

Nell stood her ground. ‘Look at my face,’ she insisted.

Lady Harvey lowered her teacup and glanced up at Nell. ‘It is exceedingly flushed, what have you done?’

‘I haven’t done anything. That was a slap from sweet, gentle Albert. He’s a brute, Lady Harvey. He’s hit me dozens of times, and Hope too. Now I believe he’s killed her.’

Lady Harvey tossed her head in total disbelief and plonked her teacup down into the saucer. ‘I won’t hear any more of this rubbish,’ she said dismissively. ‘Hope is a stupid little whore who would rather be fucked than work for a living.’

Nell’s mouth fell open in shock and horror at the vile and defamatory statement.

It was bad enough that her mistress had no sympathy for Nell, or concern about a young girl who had once played with her son. But to call Hope a stupid whore, to suggest she’d choose a life like that because she was too lazy to work here in the kitchens made Nell’s blood boil. She couldn’t let that go unchallenged.

‘Well, you’d know about being a stupid whore, wouldn’t you?’ she retorted, wanting to rip the face off the woman. ‘But you had Bridie and me to cover up your indiscretion.’

Lady Harvey looked astounded, then her eyes narrowed. ‘Enough, Nell!’ She held up one hand to silence her. ‘If you want to keep your job you will stop right there.’

‘Do you think my job means more to me than Hope’s life?’ Nell snarled, too angry now to hold back. ‘Well, I’ll tell younow, your bloody ladyship. Hope
is
that baby I helped deliver, here in this very room, in
that
bed, sixteen years ago. She’s your child!’

For a moment or two Lady Harvey didn’t react. She just stared blankly at Nell, perhaps unable to process what she’d just heard. Nell stared right back at her, hands on hips, daring the woman to insist she was lying. But then her mistress’s lower lip began to quiver. ‘But my baby died. Bridie said so,’ she said in a weak, faltering voice.

The mention of Bridie’s name was a reminder to Nell of the promise she’d made all those years ago. But even as she felt a stab of guilt on breaking that promise, she was angry and wanted to punish her mistress still further for the wicked things she’d said about Hope.

‘Bridie believed she was dead because she didn’t cry,’ she said defiantly. ‘But as I carried her downstairs I found she was alive. We knew how much trouble you’d be in if it ever got out you’d had a child, so I took her home to my mother.’

Lady Harvey’s face crumpled, her hands went up to her hair and she pulled at it like a madwoman. ‘No, no! It’s not true! I can’t believe you!’ she shrieked out. ‘You are making this up to distress me!’

‘I’m distressed because I believe Hope has been murdered,’ Nell hissed at her. ‘I’m also furious that you could be so unfeeling towards her. But do you really think I would make up such a story?’

‘It can’t be true. Bridie would have told me. One of the plans we made before the baby was born, was that if it lived we would farm it out. Bridie said that would be expensive, so she would’ve asked me for money and kept coming back for more.’

‘Don’t you dare insult Bridie’s memory by suggesting she would resort to blackmail; she would have died for you,’ Nell spat at her mistress. ‘In fact she did. You worked her to death, just like you’d do to me and Rose.’ She paused, allowing that to sink in, for now she had the upper hand she was going to get some of her old grievances off her chest.

‘All Bridie wanted was to protect your reputation, because she loved you. She also thought it would be easier for you to bear if you believed the baby died. And neither I nor my mother would have stooped to ask for money from you because we came to love Hope as if she were our own. To us she was a treasure.

‘But now she’s gone and I think she may have been killed, and if you’ve got any natural feelings, then help me to get justice for her!’

Lady Harvey wept then, but Nell could feel nothing but disdain for the woman, for she knew she wasn’t crying for the child she’d lost, or even out of sympathy for Nell. She was crying only for herself.

‘What do you want of me?’ Lady Harvey sobbed. ‘I can’t bear this. I don’t even know if I can believe what you’ve told me.’

‘You can look on the parish records and you’ll see Hope’s birthday is 25 April 1832. You can also look at your Captain Pettigrew’s face and see her face looking back at you.’

At that Lady Harvey looked really startled. Her eyes widened and she clapped her hands over her mouth.

‘Bridie didn’t tell me,’ Nell said quickly. ‘Wild horses wouldn’t have dragged it from her. I saw the Captain for the first time the day you suggested Hope come here to play with Rufus. I knew he was her father the moment I set eyes on him.’

‘Has anyone else remarked on that?’ Lady Harvey asked quickly.

‘Why would they? All us Rentons are dark, and no one else knows you had another child. But I’m surprised
you
haven’t seen the similarity. Didn’t you ever wonder why Hope was so beautiful, when James, Ruth and me are all so plain?’

There was no response to that question.

‘You’ve never really looked at her, have you?’ Nell sneered. ‘She’s worked in this house every day for four whole years or more, yet you’ve never noticed that beauty. But then you don’t see any of us servants as people, do you?’ Nell paused just long enough to draw breath.