Hope Over Fear (Over #1) (5 page)

“We Are Family” by Sister Sledge

“On the Radio” by Donna Summer

MY MOM AND I have always been a really down-to-earth family. It’s been just the two of us for a long time, so I guess we didn’t see the need for a great deal of formality. For example, my favorite dinners growing up, hands down, were our mac-and-cheese nights.

She always made a big deal about the milestones in my life, no matter how small. It was probably about her overcompensating for the absence of any other family, but I loved it. Dance recitals, spelling bees, school dances—hell, that woman even celebrated my period! The occasion may have changed each time, but the mac-and-cheese was always a constant. And the night was not complete unless the two of us were sitting Indian-style on the kitchen floor eating straight out of the pot and giggling like schoolgirls. Lots of secrets were shared those nights at our house.

As I sit down for a meal with Alex and her parents at the country club, I get the distinct impression that this isn’t a place where secret sharing would be welcome. Alex is right; her parents appear to be kind and loving people. Even so, I still have the urge to stab myself in the eye with my salad fork … or is that my dinner fork? I don’t know, but the whole dinner is just so fucking
civilized.
I want someone to laugh out loud instead of just chuckling politely. I want to see two people hug each other tightly instead of air kissing the other’s cheeks. These people need to let it all hang out … they need a pot of mac-and-cheese.

Following dinner, we wish Alex’s parents good night, of course with air kisses on each cheek.

“I think we are going to hang around the clubhouse for a while, Momma. We’ll take a cart home later.”

I hope Alex knows something that I don’t, because one more minute with the Stuffy McStuffersons at this club and I might explode. I’m hoping my girl knows how to find some fun in the land of stuffed shirts. After a barrage of niceties, Alex and I are left on our own.

“Sorry to put you through that, Sara. My family dinners can be a bit mind numbing. But you’re in for a treat, my friend. Let’s go have some fun!”

“Let’s do it! Lead the way.”

Alex leads me to the far end of the dining area and into the kitchen. The kitchen staff light up when they see Alex, hugging her and offering well wishes. Alex remembers all their names and even asks about various family members. It’s obvious she genuinely cares about all of them, and they love her, too. We continue through the kitchen and down a long hallway, and I begin to hear the faint sound of laughter. Before she opens the door at the end of the hallway, Alex looks at me excitedly and takes in a deep breath.

I follow her into the room that’s filled with screaming and a flurry of bodies. I suppress the urge to curl up in a ball and play dead as the sound of women shrieking floods my senses. Once I get my bearings, I see four women, probably in their forties, hovering excitedly over Alex.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet my friend, Sara. Sara, this is Anna, Jessie, Marie, and Ebony. These are the ladies who kept me sane while I grew up in this crazy place.” Alex says affectionately.

“If you must know, we are the ones who stole the stick that was supposed to go up Alex’s ass, like the rest of these snobs around here. We couldn’t have our sweet girl turning out like the rest of them!” The woman who was introduced as Jessie hugs Alex around the waist after slapping her on the ass. Jessie is a few inches shorter than Alex’s five-foot-nine inches and has dark hair pinned up in a bun and kind, chocolate brown eyes. It’s also obvious that this woman comes with a side helping of sass. She, like the other three women, is still in her work uniform.

“It’s nice to meet all of you. I’m happy to say that no one has located said stick, and Alex is doing just fine.” I laugh. “Did we interrupt something?”

“No, baby, you were just about to join something. I hope you guys are up for one mean card game. The girls are feisty tonight!” This comes from Anna, who is sitting at the card table, shuffling the cards as we speak.

“Great! I love poker. Deal me in.” I’m actually a pretty good poker player, and I think I’ll have an advantage since Alex’s friends don’t know me. They’ll have a hard time knowing when I’m bluffing.

“Who said anything about poker? We always play a mean game of Go Fish.” Ebony narrows her eyes at me. “Now, don’t start thinking that we’re soft or that you’re gonna clean our clocks. We are the sharks of Go Fish, ya hear me?”

Alex throws her head back and laughs. “Don’t worry, Ebony, Alex knows better than to underestimate her opponents. I brought four rolls of quarters, so deal us in, we’re ready!”

Everyone takes a seat at the table, and Anna starts dealing the cards. It takes me a little while to catch on to how you bet, call, and raise with a game of Go Fish, but I start getting the hang of it. When I say that I’m getting the hang of it, I am by no means implying that I’m winning; these women are ruthless.

The game continues as old dance-slash-wedding music like Kool and the Gang and Donna Summer fills the room. It doesn’t take long before the ladies start prying into Alex’s love life, and of course, I give them a little ammunition. Hey, better her than me, right?

“So, Sara, how’s our girl doing in the love department?” Marie lifts her eyebrows up and down suggestively. “Is she getting laid on the regular?”

“Marie, I can’t believe you!” Alex acts offended, but deep down it’s obvious she’s a little amused.

“Well, Marie, I don’t know about the getting laid part, but she does date. No one lasts very long, though. Alex finds something wrong with all of them. And once the flaw is uncovered, it’s to the curb they go!” Alex puts both hands on her chest and slumps in her chair like I’ve shot her.

“Sara, you’re exaggerating. You make me sound picky … if I dump anyone, I swear I have a legitimate complaint.” Alex pouts.

“Eric?”

“His hair always looked greasy. I mean, fry some fish up in that bitch, greasy. It made me question how often he showered.”

“Kent?”

“His nose turned up in a way that made it look like he was always smelling shit.”

“Doug?”

“He did the Gangnam Style dance when we went out. I actually felt my vagina drying up. What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Alex surveys the table, looking perplexed. “None of you want to date a greasy-headed man either!”

“Darlin’, that’s some weird ass shit that you just laid out for us, but I’m gonna stand by you this time. Now, let me tell you why. When you meet
him
, all that bullshit will fade away. His nose might turn up, his hair may be greasy, hell, he might centipede across the dance floor on your first date, but you won’t even see it. You won’t see it because of how he makes you
feel
. And that’s what I want for you, my girl. And that’s why I say that you should go ahead and kick their asses to the curb when you don’t feel it.” Ebony sits back in her chair, crosses her arms, and lets out a big sigh to let us know she’s through saying her piece.

“How did you know your husband was
the one
, Eb?” Alex leans forward and puts her elbows on the table, looking more interested than before.

“Oh, honey, I love my husband very much, but he’s not my one true love. I stupidly let
that
man go. Pride can be a terrible thing … that’s why I want you girls to listen to your heart. Love can be tricky, and not everyone gets it right. Now, Marie married her one true love. Tell them how you knew Reggie was the one for you,” Ebony says and directs her undivided attention to Marie.

Marie sits quietly for a couple of seconds, eyes closed, lips pursed, likely searching for the right words. She looks up at Alex and me. “Ebony talked about how a man’s flaws become less important when the connection is there, and I think that goes both ways. I mean—when I started dating Reggie, I saw a different person when I looked in the mirror. The way he treated me and felt about me made me feel beautiful. He made me feel desired. Every woman deserves to feel that way, and that’s how I knew Reggie and I were meant to spend our lives together.”

After talking with Alex’s friends, I feel absolutely certain that I made the right choice for Mason and me, however bad my delivery may have been. I hope that Mason found that kind of love with Natalie. Remembering the look on his face when he spoke of her, I feel sure that he did, and I find solace in that realization. I can’t help but pray that I find that kind of love, too. I pray that one day I’ll be worthy of it.

“Well, I hate to throw my girl under the bus, but speaking of not getting laid on the regular … care to defend yourself, Sara?” Alex gives me a sideways glance and clucks her tongue.

“What? I’ve had a really shitty year—the kind that definitely warrants a little man hiatus.” I’m doing my best to defend myself, but I don’t like the looks that are being thrown my way.

“A bad year? A whole 365 days since you’ve had sex? Baby girl, I believe you may be the only twenty-something-year-old woman I know with cobwebs in her vagina. That’s a damn shame!” Anna is shaking her finger furiously back and forth, and I feel the urge to slump down into my chair.

Ebony snaps her fingers to get my attention and picks up where Anna left off. “Battery-operated devices will only get you so far, Sara. You need a real man—a real man’s hand, a real man’s equipment, and definitely a real man’s tongue—”

“Oh no, don’t talk to Sara about a real man’s tongue. That’s not her deal.” Alex has a big smirk on her face while I plot her untimely death.

“Oh, you better not fall asleep tonight, my loose-lipped friend …” I threaten as I shoot evil eyes at Alex.

“Hold on a minute! What are trying to say, Alex? Sara doesn’t like for her man to go downtown?” Marie has an incredulous look on her face, like Alex just said I was part alien.

“No downtown!”

“That can’t be. Every woman likes for her man to go downtown. I mean … it’s
downtown!
” Jessie is now standing up, as if this topic is too important to remain seated.

“It just feels way too up close and personal to me. I don’t know why, but I always get the feeling of ‘whoa, back up, buddy’ when they go down there. It feels almost clinical to me … like I’m getting some kind of weird exam.”

Ebony starts nodding with a knowing look on her face. “Oh, okay, I see what the problem is …”

“There’s no problem!” I huff.

“Oh, baby girl, there is definitely a problem. And I’m going to tell you what it is. Your men just didn’t know how to knock.”

“That’s it!”

“You are so right, Ebony!”

Marie, Jessie, Anna, and Ebony are giving each other high fives, Alex is giggling quietly, and I’m sporting a look of utter confusion.

“Okay, I give up. What do you mean, ‘They don’t know how to knock’?”

“Those boys, and I call them
boys
because that’s what they’re acting like, are just swinging your door open with no warning … all unannounced! Of course you want to tell them to back off. They need to be knocking beforehand. Knocking can be done with kisses, touches, sexy words—hell, even a look can count for something. If a man is good at knocking, he doesn’t even have to open the door. If he’s really good, you’ll grab him by the hair and throw his ass through the door. Am I right, ladies, or am I right?”

“So right!”

“Sing it, sister!”

I can’t help but laugh out loud at these lively women. I’ve only known them for a couple of hours, but they’ve managed to get the down and dirty details about my love life (or lack thereof). I should be embarrassed, but I find that I don’t care at all. I love their sisterly, and downright hilarious, advice, and I’m again grateful that Alex brought me home with her this weekend.

We continue to play Go Fish, I continue to lose my ass, and Alex’s friends continue to hound us about our sex lives. Leave it to Alex to produce a laid back and entertaining night in the stuffiest place in Louisiana. As I survey the room and take a good look at all these beautiful women, I feel sure that I have found the source of Alex’s unending wisdom.

“Bruises” by Train/Ashley Monroe