Hopelessly Devoted to Holden Finn (13 page)

‘I could really do with a cold drink,’ Bonnie said as they stood and looked. Now that she was faced with the doorway to goodness knew what, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go in. Who was she kidding? She didn’t belong to that world and never would, no matter what she wished for. They’d probably stand around in a corner all night looking like spare bits of furniture.

‘I’m sure if we have VIP passes, we could get one in there,’ Paige replied, something naively cocky in her tone.

‘You think? I’m not so sure. It’s one thing being backstage, another entirely to help ourselves to everything.’

‘Mum, Holden is so nice, do you really think he’d let us sit there and not offer us a drink? He’s probably got his own fridge full of cans and stuff and I’m sure he’d give us one.’

Bonnie glanced at Paige, whose eyes were bright with excitement. Ok, so even if she didn’t want to go in anymore, Paige did. And goodness knew Paige deserved one special moment in her life, and Bonnie could never hope to ever give her a moment like this again. ‘Ok,’ she said, rallying herself. ‘We’ll go and see what they say. Even
if they don’t have spare drinks or anything, I’m sure we’ll be able to bob out and get something when the crowds clear out in the arena.’

‘Now you’re thinking smart,’ Paige grinned, looking across at Bonnie. ‘Are you ready?’

‘No,’ Bonnie laughed.

‘Me neither,’ Paige giggled in return. ‘But let’s do it anyway!’

They pushed their way together through the double doors and found themselves in another concrete corridor, the noise from the arena outside instantly muffled by the heavy doors closing behind them.

‘This is like a rabbit warren,’ Bonnie said quietly, suddenly feeling the irrational urge to whisper.

‘It stinks of dancer sweat,’ Paige whispered back, ‘so we must be close to the dressing rooms.’

Bonnie laughed softly. ‘
Dancer sweat
?’

‘It does,’ Paige giggled. She slipped her arms through Bonnie’s. ‘Come on, Mum, let’s go and make the most of these babies…’ she tapped the laminated bit of card that she had now hung around her neck on a lanyard, and they started to walk slowly down the corridor.

Bonnie pulled hers from a pocket and draped it around her neck too. ‘We look like we work here now,’ she laughed.

‘I’ll volunteer for costume change lady,’ Paige giggled, ‘I’d get to take Holden’s trousers off.’

‘Paige!’ Bonnie squeaked, but Paige just laughed.

‘I’m only kidding, Mum. Besides…’ she shot a sly glance at Bonnie, ‘don’t tell me
you
wouldn’t like to…’

Bonnie felt the heat rush to her cheeks. ‘They’re far too young for me, all of them.’

‘Holden’s twenty-three. That makes him…’ Paige paused for a moment while she worked out the figures, ‘twelve years younger than you. Not that bad really.’

Bonnie was trying to think of a suitable reply when she was saved the trouble by a door opening up ahead. A young woman staggered out under a load of clothes that looked suspiciously like some of the costumes the band had worn onstage. Paige looked at her mum and grinned. ‘I think we’ve found the dressing room.’

They hurried over and tapped on the door. It was opened by another trendy looking woman. ‘Can I help you?

‘We have these,’ Bonnie said, holding up her pass, ‘we wondered whether we could come and say hello to the band… they did tell us we could…’

The woman held up a hand to stop Bonnie’s rambling. ‘They’re already changed and in the Green Room,’ she said, pointing down the corridor.

‘The Green Room?’

‘Where the after show party is.’

‘Oh… ok, thanks…’ Bonnie began, but the woman had already slammed the door shut before Bonnie’s sentence had ended.

Bonnie and Paige looked at each other. Bonnie’s insides were churning, and by the look on her daughter’s face, she suspected hers were doing the same.

‘Green Room then?’ Bonnie asked.

Paige nodded, and they made their way up the corridor.

***

As they pushed the door open, Bonnie held Paige’s arm protectively and peered in. The room didn’t look remotely green, and although this fact vaguely registered, it wasn’t uppermost in her mind. Beyond the crowd of sweaty dancers, Holden sat surrounded by his entourage like a king at court. Brad, Nick and Jay were sitting a little further away talking to a different, much smaller bunch of people. There was quite clearly a hierarchy at work here, one where Holden appeared to be top dog, despite the band’s public image of the boys being all best mates together. It was something that had not been so apparent when they had been in the intimate confines of the radio station.

‘He’s there,’ Paige squeaked, now taking Bonnie’s arm and dragging her through the throng towards him. Bonnie didn’t need to ask who
he
was. Although the rest of the band were lovely in their own way, there was only one member that either of them were really interested in. A huge mountain of a man stepped in front of them, stopping Paige in her tracks.

‘What are you doing in here?’ he asked.

Bonnie looked up at him timidly. While he was undoubtedly the biggest, meanest looking man she had ever seen, there was no malice in his enquiry, and the ghost of a smile played about his lips.

‘We have passes,’ Paige said, shoving hers under his nose.

He peered at it. ‘So you do.’ Smiling, he stepped aside and let them go through.

They approached nervously and watched a few paces away for some moments as Holden chatted and laughed with his circle of admirers. He was clutching a beer bottle, and dressed casually in a checked shirt and jeans, his hair wet, as though he’d just stepped out of the shower. There was a slight blush to his cheeks and his eyes seemed to burn with feverish excitement. Looking at the rest of the band, Bonnie could see the same fire in their eyes too. Being on stage in front of thousands of screaming girls was obviously an exhilarating business. Holden conversed with exaggerated hand gestures, and every time he laughed, his devoted fans laughed with him.

Paige nudged Bonnie. ‘If we don’t go over, we’re never going to get to speak to him.’

‘I know,’ Bonnie replied quietly, ‘but he seems sort of preoccupied.’

‘Oh, Mum, you’re far too polite.’ Paige held up her pass and waved it at Bonnie.

‘He gave us these and said we should go backstage and talk to him. So let’s go talk to him, he won’t mind, he’s really nice.’

Bonnie took a deep breath. ‘Ok.’

They nudged forwards together, moving close enough so that they could see him, but trying not to get in anyone’s way. For a while, he carried on talking, and both Bonnie and Paige tried vainly to catch his eye without actually having to call him purposely to speak, but he seemed oblivious to their presence. Eventually, Bonnie decided that she wasn’t going to make the end of Paige’s special night (and hers too, though it was harder to admit to herself just how much this evening meant to her) a complete wash-out. She cleared her throat, and as a natural break in the conversation came, she spoke.

‘Hi Holden… remember us?’

He looked at her, for a moment no recognition in his eyes, and then he smiled.

‘Yeah, I think…’

‘The radio station last week?’ Bonnie finished for him helpfully.

‘Of course! How are you doing?’

‘Brilliant!’ Paige cut in. ‘You were amazing tonight,’ she added breathlessly.

‘Yeah?’ he asked, raising an immaculate eyebrow, clearly already aware that he had been amazing.

‘Yeah, totally. I mean, I nearly fainted because you were so good.’

He laughed.

‘Actually,’ Bonnie said, ‘I think that might have been something to do with the fact that we were squashed up at the front of the stage with about ten thousand people behind us trying to get where we were.’

‘Ok, give a compliment in one hand and then take it away with the other,’ Holden laughed and everyone else laughed too. Bonnie felt herself colour again.

He caught her eye and he seemed to hold her gaze, for just a moment more than was appropriate before turning to Paige again. Bonnie felt her heart beat so hard she was certain everyone would hear it. She barely noticed what Paige was saying to him.

‘Right, Mum?’ Paige asked.

‘Hmmm?’ Bonnie replied vaguely.

‘I said, it was the best night of our entire lives,’ Paige repeated.

‘Yeah,’ Bonnie said, trying, but failing, to pull her gaze away from Holden’s eyes, that seemed to be locked hungrily onto her now.

Brad turned from a momentary lapse in the conversation he had been having and noticed Bonnie and Paige.

‘Hey!’ he greeted, swinging his chair around. ‘It’s Paige, isn’t it?’

Paige lit up at the mention of her name, clearly thrilled that he had remembered it.

Bonnie smiled as Paige skipped over to talk to him. Holden left his chair and took Bonnie gently by the arm, slightly away from the rest of his little crowd.

‘You want a drink?’ he asked, reaching across her for a bottle of beer on a tray just behind. She felt his breath on her neck and her heart began to pound erratically again. She nodded mutely and he handed her a bottle. ‘Here,’ he said, grabbing an opener and wrenching the cap off. ‘So… how long have you been Paige’s mum?’

Bonnie laughed. ‘Um…’

‘Terrible joke, right?’

‘A bit,’ Bonnie admitted.

‘You enjoyed the concert?’

Bonnie nodded vigorously.

‘You don’t say much, do you?’ he raised a questioning eyebrow.

‘I just… yes, I’ve had a great night,’ she replied, hardly able to take her eyes off him.

‘Good,’ he said, gently taking her beer from her and putting it to one side with his own. ‘It could be about to get a whole lot better.’

He spun around and his gaze rested on a trendy twenty-something blonde.

‘Kate…’ he beckoned her over. ‘Why don’t we take…’ he waved his hand at Bonnie.

‘Bonnie,’ Bonnie said helpfully.

‘Yeah,’ he continued, ‘Bonnie and Paige for the guided tour?’

Kate tripped over to where Paige was chatting to the other band members while Holden fixed Bonnie with a smouldering look that she thought might make her spontaneously ignite. A few wordless moments later, Kate arrived back with Paige in tow.

‘What’s up?’ Paige asked eagerly.

‘We thought you might like to see the inner workings of a pop tour,’ Holden said smoothly.

‘Cool!’ Paige squeaked, clearly so enamoured of Holden that if he had suggested a tour of a working Victorian sewer she would have said they were her absolute favourite things on the planet.

‘Ok.’ Holden looked at Kate. ‘Shall we do the costumes and dressing rooms first?’

Paige glanced across at the other band members, who were still talking and laughing with various members of the tour entourage. ‘Is anyone else coming?’

‘Let them chill for a bit, and maybe they’ll be in the mood to sing you a song later?’ Holden suggested.

‘But you don’t mind interrupting your break to show us around?’ Paige said. ‘You’re the best!’

Kate smiled and nudged Holden. ‘Shall we get started?’

He nodded, then gallantly ushered Bonnie and Paige from the room to wait in the corridor, he and Kate following on.

‘I wish Annabel could have been here for all this,’ Paige said to Bonnie. ‘She would have loved it.’

‘Annabel? Was that your friend who won the competition with you?’ Holden asked as Kate closed the door to the Green Room behind them.

‘Yeah,’ Paige replied. ‘She’s got flu so she couldn’t come. We got her this…’ she opened her bag to reveal a carefully folded up t-shirt. ‘We were going to ask you to sign it for her before we went home. Not much of a consolation, but we figured it was better than nothing, didn’t we, Mum?’

Bonnie nodded.

Holden thought for a moment. ‘Maybe we can do better than that. Kate…’ he looked at his assistant. ‘I know the merch stand will be packing up now, but they should still be knocking around. How about you take Paige down to pick out some more stuff for her friend, anything she likes, and the tour will pick up the tab.’ He paused. ‘Take as long as you like,’ he added in a deliberate tone. ‘Make sure she looks through everything properly. Then maybe buy her some food or something, I heard her saying earlier that she was hungry.’

‘I never,’ Paige protested.

‘Really? I thought you did. But I bet you are,’ Holden said encouragingly. ‘And maybe your mum is?’ He turned to Bonnie.

‘I could eat something,’ Bonnie replied, ‘but I’m sure we can stop off at a MacDonald’s or something on the way home.’

‘No way. You’re our guests, Kate will get something for you, won’t you Kate?’ Holden turned to his assistant, who nodded.

‘Come on then,’ Kate said to Paige, ‘otherwise everything will be packed up.’

‘Should we go down with them?’ Bonnie asked as they turned to go.

‘Pointless us all going down. Besides,’ Holden added in a dark voice, ‘if there are still fans hanging around down there it’ll be like world war three if I turn up.’

‘Oh, yeah, of course,’ Bonnie agreed.

‘We can carry on our tour and they can catch us up later.’

Bonnie turned to say goodbye to Paige but she and Kate had already disappeared through a set of doors.

‘Shall we?’ Holden gestured along the corridor in the opposite direction.

Bonnie followed him until they came to the first doors they had knocked on when they got backstage to look for the band: the dressing rooms.

‘This is where we all get naked,’ Holden grinned as he held the door open for Bonnie, who felt herself blush despite her best efforts not to. She looked up at him, his eyes still unnaturally bright, that flush still on his cheeks, his hair now drying into thick waves, his skin, the most flawless and smooth skin she had ever seen on a
man… The idea of him naked in that room was almost enough to make her knees buckle. Peering in through the door, she nodded. ‘It looks… cosy,’ she commented, and then stepped back out into the hallway again.

‘Let’s go in and look around,’ Holden said, nudging her back through the doorway again.

‘I’ve seen it.’

‘You haven’t seen it all,’ Holden insisted.

Bonnie suddenly found herself inside. Holden shut the door behind them.