Horrid Henry Wakes the Dead (6 page)

The audience held its breath.

And held it.

And held it.

And held it.

“He’s been dead a long time, maybe his hearing isn’t so good,” said Horrid Henry. “Rise and shine, here is the sign,” shouted Henry, whacking the coffin furiously.

Again, nothing happened.

“Rise and shine, brother of mine,” hissed Henry, kicking the coffin, “or you’ll be sorry you were born.”

I’m on strike, thought Perfect Peter. How dare Henry stick his name on the back of the billboard. And after all Peter’s hard work!

Horrid Henry looked at the audience. The audience looked expectantly at Horrid Henry.

What could he do? Open the coffin and yank the body out? Yell, “Ta-da!” and run off stage? Do his famous elephant dance?

Horrid Henry took a deep breath.

“Now that’s what I call
dead
,” said Horrid Henry.

“This was a difficult decision,” said Sneering Simone. Henry held his breath. He’d kill Peter later. Peter had finally risen from the coffin
after
Henry left the stage, then instead of slinking off, he’d actually said, “Hello everyone! I’m alive!” and waved. Grrr. Well, Peter wouldn’t have to pretend to be a corpse once Henry had finished with him.

“…a very difficult decision. But I’ve decided that the winner is…” Please not Margaret, please not Margaret, prayed Henry. Sneering Simone consulted her notes, “The winner is the Il Stupendioso—”

“YES!!” screamed Horrid Henry, leaping to his feet. He’d done it! Fame at last! Henry Superstar was born! Yes, yes, yes!

Sneering Simone glared. “As I was saying, the Il Stupendioso corpse. Great comic timing. Can someone tell me his name?”

Horrid Henry stopped dancing.

Huh?

What?

The
corpse?

“Is that me?” said Peter. “
I
won?”

“NOOOOOOOOO!” shrieked Horrid Henry.

Henry is dragged to dancing class against his will; vies with Moody Margaret to make the yuckiest Glop; goes camping; and tries to be good like Perfect Peter—but not for long.

Horrid Henry discovers a genius way to write thank-you letters; negotiates over vegetables; competes with Perfect Peter over which of them is sickest; and finds himself wearing the wrong underpants—with dreadful consequences.

Horrid Henry builds the biggest, meanest monster snowman ever; writes his will (but is more interested in what others should be leaving him); starts his own makeover business; and manages to thwart the Happy Nappy for a chance to meet his favorite author in the whole world.

Horrid Henry invades Perfect Peter’s room; hunts for cookies in Moody Margaret’s Secret Club tent, with frightening results; writes his biography—and Moody Margaret’s; and plots to see the best band in the world (while his family wants to see the worst).

Photo: Francesco Guidicini

Francesca Simon spent her childhood on the beach in California and then went to Yale and Oxford Universities to study medieval history and literature. She now lives in London with her family. She has written over forty-five books and won the Children’s Book of the Year in 2008 at the Galaxy British Book Awards for Horrid Henry and the Abominable Snowman.