Hot Southern Mess (Hide Your Crazy) (27 page)

“Sure.” That was the absolute last thing I wanted to do tonight, but if it meant keeping my job then I had to suck it up and deal. Even if my mind was completely warped and things just didn’t make
a whole lot of sense, I knew this was the industry I wanted to be in; thus keeping my job was crucial for my future. “Is Megan still here?”

“I sent her back to Seattle this morning.
Didn’t really need the help with you coming back.”

“Oh,” I muttered, flashing a weak smile at Stephanie before heading to the door.

“Hey Molly,” Reid called out before I reached the door.

Turning around, I smiled at the group.

“You look hot in that hat,” Reid grinned, causing several of the guys in the room to groan.

Instantly, a blush splashed over my face as I turned for the door swiftly. I can’t believe he just said that.

Everything in me said to just quit. Dealing with Brantley and his band was something I didn’t have the confidence to face yet. Getting involved with him was truly the breaking point for my sanity. Sure, I called him out, kicked him in the nuts, and even watched as Reid smashed his fist into his face;
but what he did to me hurt way deeper than I cared to realize. So, walking into that room tonight, pretending that nothing happened between the two of us was absolute bullshit, and it terrified me.

Chapter 26: How about you just shut-the-f*$k-up, seriously.

After standing outside their door for a good five minutes, I finally mustered enoug
h courage to open the door. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the room and let the door close behind me. All four of the guys were sitting on the couches placed on the far wall of the room; already indulging in the booze from their rider.

“Hi guys, I just came to check and make sure everything was okay with set up,” I said quickly, gnawing at the inside of my lip once again. Brantley was the first to acknowledge my presence; gaping at my ugly appearance. “I fell a couple days ago and smashed my face,” I said before any of them had a second to say something stupid about it.

“Are you okay?” Brantley questioned, quickly walking over to where I was standing.

“I’m fine,” I said, taking a step back as his hand reached out to touch the damage.

“Seriously, Molly, are you okay? I know what I did was a complete dick move, but shit, please tell me who did this to you.”

I started to laugh when I realized Brantley wasn’t actually talking out of his ass for on
ce. There was true sincerity behind his statement, and once again I believed what he was saying.

“No one beat me
, Brantley. Like I said, I tripped and met the concrete, hard.”

A sigh released from his body, as he started to nervously fidget in front of me. It was nice to see him being human again, but it wouldn’t make me forgive him. I dealt with enough pain from Jefferson that Brantley just added the icing to the cake. I can’t say that I would ever forgive Jefferson for what he did to me, so that left very little hope for man whores like Brantley.

“So, everything good?” I asked again, making sure to keep a good distance between him and me.

“Yeah,
everything’s great,” Brantley stated, still staring at my mishap.

“Alright then.
Well, I’m going to let Stephanie know. Have a good show tonight, boys.” Promptly I turned and reached for the door, almost making it out before Brantley grabbed my arm.

“Molly
, wait,” he remarked, pulling my body back slightly.

I immediately tensed on contact, unsure of the situation before me.

“I just wanted to say I am truly sorry for what I did. I got caught up in the lifestyle and forgot that you had feelings, too.”

“Thank you,” I managed to mutter out before pulling out of his clutches, immediately opening the door and scurrying through. Pressing myself up against the cold wall, I listened to the pounding of my heart while reminding myself to breathe. Brantley apologized, and that was more than I could ever ask of him. Closure like that, even though it may be small, was crucial in healing
myself. Moving forward was all I could do, and hearing those words made walking away even easier.

It wasn’t like Brantley said anything life altering, but truth be told hearing those words made me feel better. I think in this fast paced world, people tend to forget to let people see their real emotions. So often are we consumed with everyday life that we either place ourselves on the back burner or forget about our needs all together. Hearing those simple words of ‘I’m sorry’ was a total eye opener. It wasn’t about forgetting that he hurt me, but dealing with the aftermath that made a person stronger. Accepting the apology was the easy part; letting go of the anger was where I always struggled. I could hold a grudge forever. My father always claimed I got that from my mother. She had a long list of people she despised and would never talk to again. Seeing how well that worked for her, I tended to just bottle up the emotion and never deal with it. Now, taking the situation head on, and dealing with it right then proved better for my future. No longer was I going to hide behind my feelings, I was going to tackle them head on. Debbie Downer no more, damn it. I was a mother-fucking-rock star.

I held my head high walking back to BL’s dressing room. Sure, my face looked like poop, but I needed to get over it.
Minor details in a long list of stupid moments to look back on. One thing I learned from that moment was heels and I didn’t mix well. I’ll leave those to models and my sister, considering disaster struck every time I slipped a pair on.

“Hey, you want to hit up catering with me?” Tiny questioned as I got closer to the room.

I knew what he was doing. Reid had obviously talked to him about my eating habits. It wasn’t that I was trying to starve myself; I just plum forgot to eat. I had always been skinny, and really should try to take better care of myself, considering that my clothes were slowly starting to hang on my already thin frame. I’m sure people thought I had an eating disorder, but truly, I just had a horrible eating routine.

“Let me check in with
Stephanie first, but then sure.” I smiled back, knowing this conversation would get back to Reid.

“Well hurry up, I’m wasting away,” Tiny whined with dramatic flair.

“Whatever Tiny,” I joked back, pulling open the door once more to face Stephanie.

“Anything more you need done?” I asked as she punched something out into that damn cell phone of hers.

“Nope, just go enjoy the evening,” she said quickly, her head popping up to give me a forced smile.

Even the short amount of time I had worked for this woman, I knew when she was lying. The look of stress stretched across her face, and her fingers were flying over the keyboard on that phone. Something was definitely not right in her world.

“I’m not broken
, Stephanie; let me help,” I pleaded, staring directly into her eyes. It wasn’t like I was damaged beyond repair. I still had a job, and I needed to do it.

You could see the inner turmoil that she was contemplating. Whatever the is
sue was, I could handle it.

“Apparently, I have a presentation to present to the board on the growth of our company in the indie rock area of our
department in two days. Either this completely slipped my mind, or it’s something my father dumped on me at the last minute. I have no clue where to start,” Stephanie rambled, looking absolutely distraught.

“Like a Power Point with some music kind of thing?”

“Sure, Molly, I really don’t know what I’m doing in that area. I manage bands, not put together pictures and words,” she huffed, glancing back down at her phone and letting her fingers fly across the keys again.

“Do you have pictures and music in mind?” I question, knowing that I could do this project
with no trouble. Anything that dabbled in the arts came easily to me. I had done some Power Point stuff back in high school, and I’m sure my laptop had some sort of media software on it that I could use.

“I’m sure the PR department has tons of photos
, and I don’t really care about the music.”

“Well, get me the login information to the PR department, and I’ll get the project done for you. You need it by tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow night, yes, but Molly if you aren’t up for it, I can figure something else out,” Stephanie commented, quickly glancing over at Reid.

“I’ve got it
, Stephanie. Send me a message with the codes and I’ll get started. My laptop is on the crew bus; I’ll just post up there until I get it done.”

A relief washed over Stephanie as she genuinely smiled at me this time.

“Molly, you won’t get any work done on that bus. Just use my room,” Reid piped up from across the room.

“Thanks,” I tos
sed back at him, silently cursing my girly parts that once again started pining for the man I couldn’t have. I quickly left the room before any more revelations between Reid and I were made obvious, and wandered over to the crew bus to retrieve my laptop.

“What took you so long
, Molly, I told you I was starving?” Tiny whined just as I pushed open the back door.

“I have a project I have to start
on; I’ll grab a bite to eat in a few.”

“Do you not realize the situation that places me in?”

“What in the world are you talking about?”

“Reid told me to make sure you ate. Yo
u wandering off to do a ‘project’ was not eating. I can’t lie to Reid, and I’m sure informing him that you blew off dinner isn’t going to make him a happy camper,” Tiny rambled, crossing his massive arms against his chest.

“Sorry
, Tiny, I don’t mean to be a bother,” I replied meekly. It wasn’t his job to watch my food intake, let alone watch me in general.

“Reid is one of my best friends
, Molly, which makes you included in that inner circle. You’re not a bother, but it would really make my life a lot easier if you just grabbed a plate, and took it with you. Maybe stuff a few rolls in your mouth before leaving; starch could be your best friend.” Tiny winked, laughing like an idiot when I rolled my eyes at him for the millionth and one time.

“Well then, I can’t have you starving now, could I?”

I was trying to be consciously aware of what I was eating, while working on the project. Time passed quickly as I cropped, altered, positioned, and flattened images onto twenty different slides. I had to keep the plate of food right next to the mouse; letting my hand bump it each time I went to start another section, reminding me to stop and take a bite of whatever was left. Catering food was always delicious; however eating cold chicken wasn’t my favorite thing in the world. I wanted to at least get half of the pages completely done
tonight; which meant all alterations to the photos were complete, and the proper sayings were flattened onto the corresponding page.  I knew it was toward the end of Black Laden’s set when the intro to their song ‘Crash” ripped through the night’s sky. Yawning, I stretched my arms and unfolded my legs from their curled position on the bed. Getting up, I tossed the remainder of the food into the kitchen garbage and went back to grab my laptop off the bed. The guys would be getting on the bus soon, and Reid normally headed directly back to his room once they were all showered and ready to go.

Can’t say I blame
d him for wanting some solitude. After playing for over an hour, having the music blast through the arenas, thousands of fans constantly screaming, who wouldn’t want a little piece and quiet? Closing my laptop, I stuffed it into an overhead bin on the bus, and clambered down the stairs for backstage. I was sure Stephanie would need help wrangling up the crew tonight, and I couldn’t stare at that computer screen any longer.

I knew the last song of the encore had just played when I opened the door and relished in the silence. Really, it wasn’t quiet backstage with all the commotion of tear down, but it wasn’t music blasting through the speakers anymore. I loved Black Laden’s songs, but it got really loud back here sometimes. I darted out of the way of some crew members wheeling the stage boxes to the front of the house, and set out to find Stephanie.

I noticed PD’s band milling about the hallway, flitting around with some groupies when they should have been getting on the bus. We had a direct departure tonight, so diddling with
the hookers was a big fat stop sign.

“Hey guys, you remember w
e have a tight schedule tonight, right?” I called out to the PD crew, keeping my distance from the group.

“Yes Mom
,” Eric hollered back as the girls giggled.

“No girls on the bus!”

“Ah, Mom, that’s completely unfair,” Eric mocked again, playfully swatting a redhead’s ass.

That’s just gross
, I thought to myself; shuddering at the thought of how many girls he has done on this tour. Suddenly my stomach turned, remembering I opened my legs for one of them, too; well now, wasn’t that ironic.

I waited in the distance for the guys to say goodbye to the chicks, then ushered them out the door and on to their bus. Saying goodnight, I turned back to the arena to
, once again, try and find Stephanie.

“Hey Molly,” Brantley called out from the door.
“Friends?”

“Um……………..maybe.
” I smiled, and offered a small wave. I no longer hated the man, but I didn’t know if a friendship was ever going to be possible.

My phone started to vibrate in my pocket, and I pulled it out to check who was calling. My sister’s name flashed across the screen.

“I
was just coming out to do that; thanks for getting them on the bus,” Stephanie remarked, as her heels clicked on the asphalt.

Quickly, I slid
my thumb over my phone to send my sister to voice mail. I really didn’t want to hear another lecture about coming home. I wasn’t ready to face that part of my life yet; one little step at a time.

“Yep, figured you could use some help considering the fast load out tonight,” I said confidently, stuffing my phone back into my pocket. My phone vibrated once more, signaling that she left a
voicemail. It was always easier to listen to her ramble on voicemail than it ever was talking to her directly.

“I’m goi
ng to go check in with Cooper; can you get the other boys on the bus, too?” Stephanie asked, her face once again glued to that damn screen.