How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (22 page)
(P
HILIPPIANS
4:8).
U
Understand God’s purpose for allowing your personal pain.
God promises to use your heartaches for your ultimate good.
“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”
(R
OMANS
8:28).
E
Exchange your hurt for thanksgiving.
Choose to give thanks, even when you don’t feel thankful.
“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”
(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:18).
R
Remember God’s sovereignty over your life.
He promises hope for your future.
“For you have been my hope, O Sovereign L
ORD
, my confidence since my youth”
(P
SALM
71:5).
Question:
“Is forgiveness always right? I was severely hurt by someone I completely trusted. Now I find myself staying in a bad mood because of how much he hurt me. I can’t just let him off the hook!”
Answer:
Because your thinking impacts your feelings, if you are harboring unforgiveness in your heart toward someone, you may be experiencing symptoms of depression as a result of failing to extend forgiveness and not letting go of negative thoughts and feelings. Forgiving someone who has grievously wronged you is not easy, but it is right, and it is possible to do. It is the doorway that God has made through which you must walk in order to gain emotional and spiritual freedom. The Bible says,
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”
(C
OLOSSIANS
3:13).
•
Imagine a meat hook around your neck.
•
Imagine a burlap bag hanging from the hook, carrying all the pain you are harboring inside.
•
Imagine your offender being attached to that hook as well. Ask yourself,
Do I really want to carry this person and all this pain with me for the rest of my life?
The Lord wants you to take the offender and all the pain and release them into His hands. He wants you to take them off your emotional hook and place them onto His hook. The Lord knows how to deal with people who wrong you. He says,
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay”
(R
OMANS
12:19).
Prayer to Forgive Your Offender
Lord Jesus,
Thank You for caring about how much my heart has been hurt. You know the pain I have felt because of (
list every offense
). Right now I release all that pain into Your hands. Thank You, Lord, for dying on the cross for me and extending Your forgiveness to me.
As an act of my will, I choose to forgive (
offender’s name
). Right now, I move (
name
) off my emotional hook and onto Your hook. I refuse all thoughts of revenge. I trust that in Your time and in Your way, You will deal with (
name
) as You see fit.
And Lord, thank You for giving me Your power to forgive so that I can be set free.
F. Discover God’s Purpose for Permitting DepressionIn Your precious name I pray. Amen.
God has a purpose for everything that touches your life. Even the times of painful pruning are useful in the hands of God. Depression can heighten your awareness of God and increase your dependency on Him. It can open your eyes to His unique design for you before, during, and after your bouts with despondency. Remember, just as storms replenish dry and parched ground and give birth to flowers and new life in the spring, so the storms in your life can revitalize your relationship with God and give birth to greater fruit of the Spirit in your life.
“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful…This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples”
(J
OHN
15:2,8).
Your depression has been permitted by God to…
•
warn you that something is wrong
“Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word”
(P
SALM
119:67).
•
slow you down and cause you to reflect inwardly
“We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day”
(2 C
ORINTHIANS
4:16).
•
reveal your weakness
“He [the Lord] said…‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”
(2 C
ORINTHIANS
12:9).
•
bring you to Himself
“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water”
(H
EBREWS
10:22).
•
develop your trust in Him
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God”
(P
SALM
43:5).
•
be a healing process for damaged emotions
“Heal me, O L
ORD
, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise”
(J
EREMIAH
17:14).
•
develop your perseverance and maturity
“Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”
(J
AMES
1:2-4).
•
affirm worth and value in your life
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows”
(L
UKE
12:6-7).
•
cause you to rely on His resources
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires”
(2 P
ETER
1:3-4).
•
increase your compassion and understanding for others
“The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort…comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God”
(2 C
ORINTHIANS
1:3-4).
A Positive Perspective on Depression
The famous English pastor Charles Haddon Spurgeon (often referred to as the greatest preacher of the nineteenth century) openly reflected on his own bouts with depression, and from him we can gain much insight.
The times most favorable to fits of depression, so far as I have experienced, may be summed up in a brief catalogue. First among them I must mention
the hour of a great success
. When at last a long-cherished desire is fulfilled, when God has been glorified greatly by our means, and a great triumph achieved, then we are apt to faint…Before any great achievement
, some measure of the same depression is very usual. Surveying the difficulties before us, our hearts sink within us…This depression comes over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry…In the midst of a long stretch of unbroken labor, the same affliction
may be looked for. The bow cannot be always bent without fear of breaking. Repose is as needful to the mind as sleep to the body…This evil will also come upon us, we know not why,
and then it is all the more difficult to drive it away. Causeless depression is not to be reasoned with…If those who laugh at such melancholy did but feel the grief of it for one hour, their laughter would be sobered into compassion…If it be enquired why the Valley of the Shadow of Death must so often be traversed by the servants of King Jesus, the answer is not far to find. All this is promotive of the Lord’s mode of working, which is summed up in these words: “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord”…Heaven shall be all the fuller of bliss because we have been filled with anguish here below, and earth shall be better tilled because of our training in the school of adversity.”
57
When your heart is pressed down to the ground and living life makes you feel depressed, allow your depression to press you closer to the Lord. Let Him lead you into the light. The Bible reveals His promise for the times we feel depressed…
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed”
(2 C
ORINTHIANS
4:8-9).
Be aware of the power of your words. If you express kindness in what you say, you can be God’s instrument of hope to help change the disposition of one who is depressed.
“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up”
(P
ROVERBS
12:25).
Don’t say:
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”
Say:
“I care about what you are feeling.”