How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew (21 page)

Step 2:
Be physical. You only get one body to live in (and love) in this lifetime, so you might as well appreciate it. Rather than obsess about how you look, consider for a moment what you can
do
. Have your legs carried you to mountaintops? Have your arms offered comfort to friends who’ve needed hugs? Keep a gratitude journal, where you list all the cool things your body has helped you accomplish each week. Read it whenever you’re feeling down.

Step 3:
Surround yourself with positive people. Body hang-ups can be contagious. If you spend all your time with friends who disrespect their own bodies, you may begin to feel pressure to do the same with yours. Don’t give in! Make it a policy among your peers to voice only positive body thoughts, and support each other in doing so. You’ll see soon enough that it feels so good!

Step 4:
Embrace your curves (or your lack thereof). Whatever you have, work it! There is no single definition of pretty or sexy or beautiful. It’s up to you to define for yourself. Don’t let anyone else do it for you.

• Ban the negative self-talk. You’d never,
  ever
  tell a loved one that she looks too skinny or too fat, too tall or too short. Give yourself the same due respect.
  

• Toss your scale. Why give your power away to a number? If you’re healthy and strong, that’s all you need to know.
  

Step 1:
Rise and shine at the same time every day. That means no sleeping until 11
A.M.
on Saturdays (unless you do it every other day, too, lazybones) and no hitting the snooze button seven times every morning. Establishing a regular
A.M.
routine will help calibrate your body’s clock, making it easier to fall asleep at night.

Step 2:
Exercise in the morning or afternoon, not the evening. People who work out sleep longer and better than those who don’t. But because exercise makes you hot (literally
and
figuratively), you should allow three to six hours between your sweat and sleep sessions. In order to drift off, your body needs to chill out.

Step 3:
Have dinner early, and skip the chicken vindaloo. Eating heavy or spicy meals within three hours of bedtime can disrupt sleep for reasons you can probably guess. (If you can’t guess them, then turn to prepare for the worst-case scenario.)

Step 4:
Ritualize bedtime. Ease your mind into la-la land by doing something that relaxes you. Try: Taking a bath, listening to soothing music, reading, meditating. Skip: Paying bills, watching Fox News, looking up exes on the Internet.

Step 5:
Climb into bed-di-bye. The darker and quieter your bedroom, the better. Sweet dreams!

• Caffeine, nicotine, and booze all lead to restless nights, so go easy on all three.
  

• Most people prefer cooler temps for sleeping, so turn your thermostat down before you turn your bed down.
  

• Use your bed only for sleeping and nookie, never work or worry.
  

Step 1:
Avoid trouble. Steer clear of bad guys (and wild animals) by using common sense. Close and lock your doors. Walk in well-lit, well-populated areas. Keep your eyes and ears open.

Step 2:
Trust your gut. If something just doesn’t feel right, remove yourself from the situation. It’s absolutely not rude to walk—or run—away! (If it’s a raccoon or other misguided wildlife we’re talking about here, go to a neighbor’s house, call animal control, and let them handle the rest. If not, proceed to step 3.)

Step 3:
Make noise. If you’re in trouble, attract as much attention to yourself as possible. Yell, shout, blow a whistle.

Step 4:
If you can’t get away or get help and you’re being attacked, fight back using everything you’ve got. Not to sound too terribly grim, but punch, hit, kick, knee, bite, and scratch that troublemaker. If you’ve got coins in your pocket, throw them. Hair spray or pepper spray? Spray it! A frying pan on the stove top? Oh, you know what to do, darling.

Step 5:
Run away as soon as you can and get help.

• Making eye contact can thwart a bad situation because it helps demonstrate to shady characters that you’re aware of your surroundings. It tells them you’re the wrong girl to pick on.
  

• Switch up your daily patterns, so your whereabouts are unpredictable.
  

• If you plan to hit somebody (or something) with your cast-iron skillet, resist taking the bacon out of it first. Bacon is good, but not that good.
  

• If the troublemaker just wants your money (or iPod or jewelry), give it to him. Your safety is much more valuable than your possessions.
  

Step 1:
Soften your kisser. Gently brush off any rough skin with a dry toothbrush or a damp washcloth. Don’t pick or peel! You want your lips to be red from your lipstick, not gushing blood.

Step 2:
Dry your lips. Blotting with a tissue will do the trick.

Step 3:
Choose a liner the same shade as your lipstick, and line the edge of your mouth. It’ll help prevent your color from bleeding. If you can’t find an exact match, use a lighter shade. Never, ever go darker, lest you look like a televangelist’s mistress.

Step 4:
Starting at the center of your mouth and moving toward the corners of your lips, apply lipstick directly from the tube. Blot gently and repeat.

Step 5:
Pucker up!

• Accentuate only one feature at a time. If you’re going for dramatic lips, keep your eyes and cheeks natural.
  

• Experiment with different shades of red. Warmer tones flatter yellower skin, while bluer shades look good on pinker complexions.
  

• Don’t be afraid to mix shades to create your own custom color.
  

• Too dark? Blot or apply lip gloss on top to help lighten lips.
  

Loving
Take care of your family. There is no better return on your investment. Your love for them will make the bad times less painful and the good times more joyous
.