How to speak Dragonese (9 page)

133

wooden steps and stopped outside a large door. This was the door to the prison where Alvin was keeping the other Heir. The First Kidnapper opened it with a large key that was hanging from his belt.

"Welcomes to your home for three weeks, please," he smirked unpleasantly. "Do much sword-fighting's ... Roman gladiators are very, very good, me thinking ..."

"At least we'll meet the heir to the Bog-Burglars," said Hiccup to Fishlegs. "Maybe this whole mess is a chance to meet her and make some sort of peace between the Hooligans and the Bog-Burglars ..."

[Image: An eagle.]

134

11. THE BOG-BURGLAR HEIR

The Gronckle trotted into the room. It was a large, bare space with a table and a few chairs and some straw in the corner that served for beds. The windows were barred. The boys were clearly not going to have the same luxuries the Romans gave themselves. The Gronckle dropped Fishlegs and Hiccup on the floor and backed out of the room.

"Making yourselves at home," sneered the First Kidnapper, and the door clanged shut.

Standing in the middle of the room was a small girl with wild blond hair and a ferocious expression.

The girl drew her sword with a flourish.

"Who are
you?
What are your names?" she demanded fiercely. "Who sent you? Where do you come from?"

"My name is Hiccup," stammered Hiccup. "And this is Fishlegs -- we're Hooligans ..."

"I don't believe you!" yelled the little girl. "You're Roman spies! Draw your swords and FIGHT like
men,
you Latin lowlifes!"

135

[Image: Camicazi.]

136

The boys looked at the furious little girl in amazement. Fishlegs began to laugh. He wasn't laughing two seconds later when the little girl cut the cord of his trousers and they fell down around his ankles.

"Hey!" objected Fishlegs, indignantly hauling them up again. "Watch what you're doing with that sword!" In reply the little girl hoisted the sword over her head and ran toward Hiccup shouting the Bog-Burglar War Cry, which sounds like a very rude word shouted at the top of the lungs. Hiccup drew his sword just in time to parry her lunge, and they began to fight.

[Image: Hiccup.]

Last year, Hiccup had found out that he was left-handed. Since then, he had discovered he had a gift for sword-fighting. It was the only thing on the Pirate Training Program he was truly good at. He could beat even Oikish and Dogsbreath quite easily, and was

137

having extra lessons with Gormless the Grim, the best sword-fighter in the Hooligan Tribe.

But this little girl was just as good at sword-fighting as Hiccup. Her arm moved so quickly you could hardly see it. She turned cartwheels between moves. And she TALKED constantly throughout, which made it difficult to concentrate.

"FIGHT, you nano-eating, locust-baking, toga-wearing Jupiter-worshipper! Ooooh, you're actually quite
good
at this -- for a
boy
-- I've been getting SO bored, you have no idea ..."

"Can't we just have a quiet talk about this?" asked Hiccup breathlessly. "There really is no need for us to be fighting ..."

[Image: Camicazi.]

But the little girl took absolutely no notice of him and carried on talking.

"I see you mow the Grimbeard's

138

Grapple,
and the
Flash cut Lunge,
and the
Deathwatch Parry,
and the --"

"Will you STOP!" panted Hiccup, frantically parrying all of these moves, and getting his sleeve cut off in the process. "My name really
is
Hiccup ... I really
am
a Hooligan ..."

"I don't believe you," said the little girl. "You're a Roman SPY! Admit it, or I will UNZIP you from your BREADBASKET to your OYSTERGOBBLER!
Oooooooh,
your defense is a bit WEAK, you know, you should really
work
on that... otherwise, a person could just
nip
through -- and ..."

She made a perfectly executed lunge which Hiccup parried at the last minute but which cut off his second sleeve.

[Image: Camicazi.]

"Whoops!" crowed the little girl joyfully. "There goes the
other
one!"

"I --AM --NOT --A --ROMAN ..." gasped Hiccup, his back against the wall.

"Well, a Hooligan isn't much better," said the little girl, pausing for a second and then carrying on. "My mother says the only good Hooligan is a dead Hooligan."

"That's funny," panted Hiccup, "because
my

139

father
says that the only good Bog-Burglar is a dead Bog-Burglar -- and the
really
amusing thing is, unless
we
join together, in about two weeks' time, we are
both
ping to be VERY GOOD, and VERY DEAD."

"Oh BOTHER," sighed the girl, stopping at last.

[Image: A man.]

140

Now that she wasn't moving around so much, Hiccup could see that she really was quite a small girl, at least a head shorter than he was. "I was really
looking forward
to spilling some blood."

She grinned at Hiccup. "You're not a
bad
sword-fighter, actually, for a boy, of course ..."

"Thanks," said Hiccup, still trying to catch his breath.

The little girl stuck out her hand for a handshake. "My name's CAMICAZI, the Heir to the Bog-Burglars. Nice to meet you. What
are you
doing here, anyway?"

"We got kidnapped just like you," replied Hiccup. "And we're also looking for a dragon that I've lost. He's about so high, green eyes, a Common-or-Garden ..."

"Oh, yes," said Camicazi. "The soldier who brings the food
told
me about HIM. He bit the Prefect on the nose when they brought him in!"

"Good old Toothless," said Hiccup.

"The Prefect really doesn't like HIM," said Camicazi.

"Yes, I know," said Hiccup. "Toothless once did a poo in his helmet, and a Treacherous never forgives."

141

"They've put him in Level Seven, Top Security."

"Oh poor,
poor
Toothless," said Hiccup. "I can't bear to think of him being trapped. He hates small spaces -- he can't even go down rabbit holes, despite rabbit being his favorite food; he stays at the entrance shrieking his head off --"

But at that very moment the door to the prison cell opened again. It was a stout soldier carrying a small green ball in one hand.

"I've got a present for Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third from the Prefect," leered the soldier.

142

He threw the ball roughly at Hiccup and it struck him heavily in the stomach, winding him severely. The little ball unrolled itself with a furious "D-d-d-do you m-m-mind
?"
and with a sudden burst of happiness Hiccup realized who it was.

"Toothless!" he exclaimed joyfully, once he had got his breath back. "TOOTHLESS!"

He bent down to pick up his dragon. The poor little animal had lost so much weight he was all skin and bones. Hiccup could feel his ribs sticking out, and his tail had gone all floppy and lost its pointy fork, which is what happens if a dragon is imprisoned or deeply unhappy.

For a moment Toothless pretended that he didn't care --"Y-y-yucky - put me down!" -- and then he put his little dragon arms around Hiccup's neck and hung on for dear life, whispering in Hiccup's ear, so that only he could hear, over and over again, "Th-th-thank you ... thank you... T-T-Toothless would have died. if he spent one more hour in that h-h-horrible place...
TH-TH-THANK YOU..."

143

144

12. THE MASTER ESCAPER

It may not sound like much, but one of the first facts you learn about dragons is that they are hardly
ever
grateful. This was the first time in Toothless's life he had thanked Hiccup for anything.

He soon recovered himself, and to make up for this moment of weakness he gave Hiccup an embarrassed nip on the ear.

He then became thoroughly overexcited and twirled himself around Hiccup's neck three times, before diving down Hiccup's shirt and running all over his chest and round his back and under his armpits, which made Hiccup laugh a lot, because the light pattering of a dragon's feet and the swirl of its tail is almost unbearably ticklish.

"Stop it!" shouted Hiccup, in between gasps of laughter. Toothless emerged from the shirt and scurried onto Hiccup's head, his little green paws making Hiccup's hair stand up on end even more than it did already. Sitting high up on Hiccup's forehead, Toothless puffed out his chest and crowed three joyful

145

"Cock-a-Doodle-Doos" of triumph.

Camicazi watched all this with interest, particularly the strange pops and whistles that Hiccup made with his mouth when talking back to Toothless in Dragonese.

"Oh, I've heard about you," she said, "You're the geek who talks to dragons..."

"Talking to dragons is not geeky" said Hiccup crossly. "Dragon-whispering is a very ancient and rare skill."

"OK," said Fishlegs. "So if we've rescued
Toothless,
I have just one question -- who's going to rescue US?"

"We're going to rescue OURSELVES, of course!" cried Camicazi, drawing her sword again. "We ESCAPE or we DIE!" she shouted with a mad gleam in her eye. "As it
happens,
I am the master escaper. This isn't the first time I've been kidnapped, you know."

"The MASTER ESCAPER," snorted Fishlegs. "You Bog-Burglars are very pleased with yourselves. Who's kidnapped you before?"

[Image: Hiccup and dragon.]

146

"Oh ... other Viking Tribes, mostly," replied Camicazi carelessly. She hummed a little tune and happily swung her sword around her head.

"The Meatheads ... the Visithugs ... us Bog-Burglars are always quarreling with EVERYBODY ... we have anger issues ... Anyway, I escaped from the Visithugs, no problem ..."

"No problem?"
said Fishlegs. The Visithugs were supposed to be TOUGH.

"I think you'll have a problem escaping from a Roman Fortress," said Hiccup, stroking Toothless, who was beginning to purr. "Roman Fortresses are built to be impossible to get into and impossible to get out of. Have you noticed the four perimeter fences? The four observation balloons? The guards at every watchtower? Not to mention the bars on this cell and the locked door. I don't think you've got a hope of escaping."

Camicazi smiled confidently. "Nothing is beyond the powers of a master escaper," she assured them. "You can't keep a Bog-Burglar under lock and key. No prisons can hold us -- we're as wriggly as eels ..."

"So why are you still here then if you're such a great escaper?" said Fishlegs.

147

"I suggest that we wait for my father to send a War Party to rescue us," said Hiccup.

"He didn't send a War Party to rescue Toothless," Fishlegs pointed out.

"Yes but I
nearly
persuaded him to," replied Hiccup eagerly. "I think I really got through to him ... And I am his SON after all, and not just a dragon ..."

Toothless gave him a reproachful bite.

"He'll come, I know he will," said Hiccup. "I think I'll just sit here and wait for him." And Hiccup sat down on a stool by the barred window that looked out over the sea in the direction of Berk. It was raining, a dull never-ending sort of rain that would have you soaking wet in two seconds if you went out in it. "He will come, I'm telling you."

But Hiccup was anxious. His father had been so disappointed with Hiccup's report. Maybe his father thought that Snotlout, who always got 10 out of 10 in everything, would make a better Heir than Hiccup ... Maybe his father was relieved Hiccup had gone ... Maybe, just maybe, his father wasn't coming at all...

148

13. BACK ON BERK

Back on Berk, Stoick the Vast sat in front of the table in his Chiefly Hut with his head in his hands.

"A Chief feels no pain ..."he was saying to himself over and over again. "A Chief feels no fear ... A Chief is above mere weak personal feelings ..."

But oddly enough this didn't seem to make him feel any better.

"There will be other sons ..." he said to himself. And the wind howling across the ocean and through the wet bracken and blowing open the doors in a flurry of rain seemed to call back to him...

"... but not like Hiccup."