How to Write a Brilliant Novel: The Easy Step-By-Step Method of Crafting a Powerful Story (Go! Write Something Brilliant) (20 page)

“School? Where do you feel like going today, huh? Maybe the mall?” Or:

“I don’t feel like going to school today,” Sarah said, pulling the covers over her head.

“Yeah, well I don’t feel like going to work, eithe
r, but that’s life. Deal with it.”

See how I used two different hooks in each sentence, and gave each a different direction for the dialogue to go next.

But what if we don’t have a big fight scene? How can we make that
resonate?

You can create tension in any scene, you just have to dig for it. Let’s take a normal conversation, but wrap it up in opposing goals. Let’s take the dialogue from the Internal Monologue section (Last time, I promise!):

“I think this dialogue section is getting a little long,” Rachel said just above a whisper to the MBT audience.

Yeah, Susie could hear her, but really, did Rachel always have to point out that she was long-winded? “So I have a lot to say about dialogue. It’s my favorite part about writing—what’s the big deal? It’s probably the key to a great book, so just calm down, Florida Girl.”

Can you find the zingers? There are two, possibly three, depending on whether you count Rachel’s POV.

Accusation – Rachel Sarcasm – Susie Name calling – Susie

Fighting words don’t have to be used in
every
conversation, but they add spice, and hopefully make your readers howl with delight. So, don’t forget them Fighting Words!

Remember

• What do the characters in the scene each need to accomplish, and what emotions will they be showing?
  
• What do they really want to say? Don’t go with your first instinct. Write their true emotions.
  
• What is the one tone of voice you could insert that would add impact?
  
• What action could they be doing that accentuates their words? What is the appropriate body language for their attitude? What could they be hiding?
  
• What fighting words come to mind you could insert?
  

How do we write a scene?

So,
let’s
recap
before we
move
on to
what
I
call EXTRAS

Determine
Action or ReAction
– Figure out if you’re writing an action or a reaction and define your goals, conflict, disaster, or your response, dilemma, decision.

Create
Storyworld
using the NEWS and the Five Senses
–Mood – Pick your setting and the mood you want to convey.

Find your opening
Sentence/Hook
– Reveal your character’s goals and bring the reader instantly into the scene.

Determine who is your
POV Character
– Stay in your POV character’s head. Don’t wander into the other characters’ POV.

Fine tune
Dialogue
– What will your character try and accomplish? What will he talk about?

Give your POV character some Action or Movement
– Give him something tangible to do in the scene, some activity that is related to his goal. Or maybe it’s an internal goal, and this is just a background activity.

Now, close your eyes, and walk into the scene with your hero. Let him open his mouth and speak, letting the scene unravel to the disaster or decision. If you, as a writer are there, your reader will be also.

Step Three: Publish

I hope by the time you’ve turned to this section, you have at least the first chapter done. If not, put this book down right now and go back and write. Right now.
Do it.
I don’t want to see you again until you have at least 1500 words of your WIP saved in your “First Chapter of My Amazing Book” file.

All right, now that you have something to work with, let’s talk about editing. See, you can’t edit something that
isn’t there
. Think of editing as taking that rough form and making a masterpiece out of it.

Now, as I mentioned before, I like to get it all on the page and write the entire book before I edit. Some authors, however, like to edit as they go. But be warned: You can really get caught up in editing. It’s easier, in some ways, than writing, because the words are already there. You don’t have to create. So, make some limits for yourself. Do only one or two editing passes before you force yourself to keep going. You can always come back later and re-edit. If you edit after you’re farther in the story, you’ll discover new elements and textures you want to add to your previous chapters.

Editing, in my opinion, is the fun part of writing. You already have the rough draft nailed down, and now you’re going to hone it, add all those things that will make it sparkle.

For me, there are three phases to writing a book:

1. Creating
   – The long, painful discovery of the scenes. Again, keep a notebook of all the things you want to put in it later during
   the:
   
2. Revision
   phase
   –
   It’s the
   phase
   where
   I
   hone
   the
   theme
   and
   add
   special
   elements, like the five senses, or thematic metaphors. I draw out scenes that need to be longer, shorten ones that are too long, even delete unnecessary scenes. This is where I add character textures such
   as:
   
   • Idiosyncrasies – mannerisms, something the character says out of
     habit.
     
   • Food and drink preferences
     
   • Clothing and kind of
     car
     
   • Nicknames (my secret weapon)
     

Which leads us to the:

1. Editing
   phase
   –
   Print
   your
   scene
   out
   and
   read
   it
   slowly,
   taking
   notes
   in
   the
   lines,
   proofing it, and going through my checklist.(See below.)
   

• Scenes that pack a punch
  – Do each of your scenes have a purpose? Do you need to make the slower scenes faster? Can you combine two slow scenes, cutting away the less important to the important?
  
• Action
  – Are there sufficient reasons for everything your character does in that scene? Have you planted the clues for that action or decision long before they do it?
  
• Likeable characters
  – Does your hero/heroine have great qualities that make you truly like them? Make sure that in each scene, there is something likeable about your character—that special spark that sets them apart.
  
• Surprise
  – Is the disappointment worthy of your character? Is it plausible
  and
  unexpected?
  

• Art
  – Have you mastered the mechanics?
  

1. Are there five senses in each scene?
   
2. Replace
   the
   adverbs
   with
   strong
   verbs,
   the
   adjectives
   with
   defined
   nouns.
   Cut
   all “ly” ending adverbs if
   possible.
   
3. Be ruthless with passive sentences. – ”Was” and “were” are good clues to a passive
   sentence.
   Although
   sometimes
   you
   need
   a
   passive
   sentence
   to
   let
   the
   reader rest, most of your sentences should be
   active.
   
4. Repeating sentences – If two sentences say virtually the same thing, cut
   one.
   
5. Two adjectives together weaken both. Use the strongest
   one.
   
6. Read through your dialogue – Do you need tags? Do you have enough action between
   words?
   Do
   you
   repeat names?
   Do
   you
   need to delete tags to
   make it
   faster?
   Is there enough white space between chunks of dialogue? Body language?
   Fighting words?
   
7. Do you have a list of overused words? Do a word search and fix/delete
   those!
   

Strengthening a scene is discovering the emotional significance to the scene, the way it will affect the overall book, and milking it for the reader. Using setting and dialogue and body language and disappointment and
words
to cut to the heart of a character.

Rearranging words, on the other hand, is merely putting them in a different order. Ordering them differently. Rearranging them so they say that same thing, only in a different way. Maybe even going on and on and on about the same thing in hopes of driving your point home . . .

Let’s take a look at the editing process in an actual scene. Below are three excerpts: the original, the edit, and the final product. See if you can see how I applied my editing checklist to strengthen the scene. This is the prologue from
In Sheep’s Clothing
.

Five more minutes and she would be safe.

Gracie Benson hunched her shoulders and pulled the woolly brown scarf over her forehead, praying desperately her guise as a Russian peasant worked. Fear roiled through her as the train engine thundered through the station. She bristled, watching an elderly gentleman gather his bags, two canvas duffels, and shuffle across the cement platform. Would he turn, and scream, “Foreigner!” in the tongue that now drove fear into her American bones?

Without a glance at her, he joined the throng of other passengers moving toward the train as it rumbled by, one forest-green colored wagon after another. Another man, dressed upscale in a three-piece black silk suit fell in behind him. Gracie stiffened. Did he glance her way?
Help me, Lord
!

She didn’t know whom to trust after this morning’s horrific events.

The train slowed, ground to a stop, and hissed. Gracie shuffled forward, in keeping with her disguise of tired village maiden. She clutched a worn nylon bag in one –hand—her black satchel safely tucked –inside—and fisted the folds of her headscarf with the other. The smell of diesel fuel and dust hovered over the platform like a fog. Cries of good-bye drifted from well-wishing relatives, for others more fortunate and less alone than she.

Casting a furtive glance beyond the crowd, she caught sight of a militia officer. Fear coiled in her stomach. The soldier, dressed in muddy green fatigues, had an AK-47 hung over his shoulder like a fishing basket, and leaned lazily against the entrance doors, paying her no mind.

Hope lit inside her. Freedom beckoned from the open train door.

Stepping up to the conductor, she handed the woman her wadded ticket. The conductor glared at her as she unfolded the slip of paper. Gracie dropped her gaze and acted servile, her heart in her throat. The conductor paused only a moment before punching the ticket and motioning for Gracie to enter.

Gracie hauled up her jean skirt and climbed aboard.

The train smelled of hot vinyl and aged wood. The body odor of previous passengers clung to the walls, and grime pooled along the edges of a brown linoleum floor. Gracie bumped along the narrow corridor until she found her compartment. She’d purchased the entire private berth with the intent of slamming the door, locking it from inside, and not cracking it open until she reached Vladivostok. The U.S. Consulate, only ten minutes from the train station, meant safety and escape from the nightmare.

Surely Evelyn’s assassin wouldn’t follow her to America.

If the train trudged any slower into the station, American missionary Gracie Benson would be dead by sunset. Five minutes. Twenty steps. Then she’d be safely aboard.

God obviously wasn’t on her side. Not today, at least.

Then again, He certainly didn’t owe her any favors. Not after her

fruitless two years serving as a missionary in Russia.

Gracie purposely kept her gaze off heaven as she
Five more minutes and
she would be safe.

Gracie Benson
hunched her shoulders and pulled the woolly brown scarf over her forehead. ,
Please,
please
let her guise as a Russian peasant work
.
praying desperately her guise as a Russian peasant worked.
The train huffed its last, then belched, and Gracie jumped.
Hold it together, Grace.
Long enough to fool the conductor, and find her berth on the train for Vladivostok.
Fear roiled through her as the train engine thundered through the station.
Then she could finally slam the compartment door on this horrific day—no, on this entire abysmal chapter of her dark life. So much for finding redemption as a missionary in Russia. She’d settle for getting out of the country alive.

She
tensed
bristled
, watching an elderly
man dressed in the ancient Russian garb of worn fake leather jacket, wool pants, and a fraying beret,
gentleman
gather his bags, two canvas duffels, and shuffle across the cement platform. Would he turn, and scream, “Foreigner!” in the tongue that now drove fear into her American bones?