How to Write a Brilliant Novel: The Easy Step-By-Step Method of Crafting a Powerful Story (Go! Write Something Brilliant) (22 page)

Dan Matthews is tired of ministry. He needs help. But who can he look to? He desires a wife, but doesn't know the kind of wife God wants for him. On the night when one of his parishioners dies, he meets the new first chief, Ellie Karlson, and starts to wonder if she is the one God picked out. Can he sense God's will?

These paragraphs tell the basics, why Ellie wants to succeed, why Dan wants a wife. However, they doesn't have spark and sizzle.

Now, here’s the synopsis with the color words added. I'm going to bold the words I use to convey mood.

Ellie Karlson just
landed
her dream job . . . or so she thinks. In town to
helm
the three-month interim position of Fire Chief for the Deep Haven volunteer fire department, she has big plans to turn this into a permanent gig. It's taken fifteen years to finally fill the shoes her brother left behind with his untimely death, and she isn't going to let prejudice, an arsonist, or the chauvinistic town pastor keep her from her goals. But the job she's
sacrificed
for is about to
cost
more than she expects. Only by turning to God and
holding on tight
will she
survive
.

Pastor Dan Matthews is feeling
burned out
in ministry. After three years at the helm of Grace Church in Deep Haven, he has serious
doubts
that his preaching or his attempts at discipleship are
bearing fruit
in the spiritual landscape of his congregation. Feeling like a failure, he can't help but wonder if firefighting is a better job. At least it has instant results. Maybe what he needs is a partner –in ministry—a wife, a helper, just as God designed to
ease the load
. On the night when all his losses seem to
flash over
, he meet woman who can only be from hishis dreams, and he can't help but wonder if God has heard his silent prayers.

Then the smoke clears
. Ellie Karlson may be a cute
fireball of energy
, but she's certainly not his picture of a helpmeet. She may be able to
haul hose
faster than any man in town, and know how to
chop down
a door with an axe, but last time he looked, those abilities weren't on his "perfect wife" qualifications. If only she didn't
light his heart on fire and ignite
, for the first time, the missing passion in his soul for life and ministry.

Go through your synopsis and for each verb or noun, see if you can rework or find a way to make it stronger, add mood and give it punch.

When I first started writing a synopsis, it felt so
overwhelming
. Weaving in all those threads, and helping my editor see the main plot, as well as wondering whether I’d sufficiently explained all the turning points and the Black Moment . . . arrgh!

For example, running through your synopsis, you should have three different story threads: a spiritual thread, an emotional thread, and a plot thread. You should, in your first paragraphs, have outlined the beginning of these threads, and then through the subsequent paragraphs, be unrolling those threads.

In my synopsis about Mona and Joe (
Happily Ever After
), I start out
with
Mona's desires to start a bookstore and find her dream man, a book character named "Jonah.” I also mention her greatest need: forgiveness. In the next paragraph, I mention her first obstacles in the plot.

Then I introduce the hero. Then I use a short paragraph to tell about Joe and his needs.

In the next paragraph, I return to the plot obstacles and throw in the spiritual obstacle from Mona's POV.

The next paragraph is about Joe, his issues, and a bit more of the emotional plot.

The idea I'm trying to get across (and you can read the entire synopsis in a moment), is that although you are unraveling the threads, you’re not doing it evenly through the story, but in a way that adds
interest
and
punch
.

So, when you are all done, how do you
know
that the threads are all wound through the story, and tied up neatly? I came up with a handy-dandy trick to help me see my story as a whole and determine if there are any loose ends.

After I've written my knockout punch and added colorful words through the synopsis, I print it out, find
three
different color highlighters, and sit down on the sofa with the piece.

I designate one color per thread and then, starting at the top of the synopsis, I read
only
for the spiritual thread, highlighting any sentences or thoughts that have to do with this thread. (Including the characters’ desires/greatest needs.) I work my way through every page all the way to the end with just one color.

Then, I do the same for the emotional thread, and the plot thread. When I’m finished, I have a colorful (and smelly!) synopsis. However,
now
I can sit down with a pen and read through each thread individually, making sure it is complete. If I have holes, I just fill them in. I also look for redundancy. Have I said the same thing twice, or three times?

This little technique has helped eliminate editor (and personal) confusion, and made me feel confident that I am leaving no thread untied when I send in the story.

I know it sounds simple. That's the beauty of it! But it works.

Susan M. Warren Contemporary Romance 90,000+ words

(
Happily
Ever
After
synopsis
to
paragraph
four
for
your
reference)

Mona Reynolds has one dream: to open The Footstep of Heaven Bookstore and Coffee Shop in the enchanting tourist town of Deep Haven, Minnesota, and live out the little bit of heaven she and her father had dreamed about. To add to that dream a man who could love her unconditionally, the way her father did, is just too much to ask of God. All she wants is to open her bookstore and live in her memories.

But the Victorian house, which will be The Footstep of Heaven Bookstore, is riddled with problems from the first moment. Minor repairs sprout like weeds, and Mona and her partner, a potter named Liza Beaumont, are desperately in need of a handyman. Enter Joe Michaels. Ruggedly handsome in his faded Levis, Joe appears in his beat-up Ford, with a dog named Rip, and offers to fix everything.

But Joe has mending to do in his own life, namely a fraying relationship with his younger brother Gabriel, who lives in a group home not far from Deep Haven.

Gabriel Michaels has Down syndrome, and Joe has returned from exploring the world to discover a brother he never knew.

Joe, Mona, and Liza set about repairing the house in time for the tourist season, only three months away. Despite Joe's skills and Mona's resourcefulness, disaster continues to assault them, from a flooded basement to an extended family of roaches. Mona realizes, as she watches her dreams (not to mention her life savings) erode, that she cannot create "heaven" on earth, nor find the peace she had before her father's death—a death that she caused.

Joe suspects there is something sinister behind Mona's inexhaustible repairs, and that something has to do with Brian Whitney, the building inspector for the county. Brian is a formidable foe: debonair and wielding the power to keep business doors closed. His somewhat annoying interest in both Mona and Liza has Joe suspicious— or is he jealous?

Now that you are tying up your threads for your synopsis and packing it with a punch, you only have two more aspects of your proposal to put together: your query letter and sample chapters.

A query letter may be sent separately, before you send in your entire proposal, or it may take the form of a cover letter. It can be sent via e-mail or hard copy. Always check to make sure your intended recipient—agent or editor—accepts e-mail queries.A query letter is your pitch…the what, why, and hows of your story.

What makes a good query letter?

1. A compelling, succinct first paragraph hook (aka, premise).
   
2. A summary of your book in two to three sentences.
   
3. An explanation of where your manuscript fits into the publishing world.
   
4. Who you are and why you can successfully pull off this book.
   
5. The mechanics of the –manuscript—where you're at in production.
   

In my opinion, the most important part of the query letter is the beginning hook. This is where you get the editor’s attention, the part that will keep him/her from tossing all your hard work into the circular file. Consider how many proposals channel through an editor’s hands in one month and this thought alone should impress you with the importance of the hook.

What is a hook?

It's the Who, What, and Why of the story. It's the juiciest tidbit, the selling aspect that makes
your
story different from the rest. This is where you take your knockout paragraph, boil it down to the
most
important aspect, and highlight it. You want to create questions and interest. You should do this in less than 100 words.

For example, in my query letter for
Happily Ever After
, I wrote:

Mona Reynolds longs for two things: forgiveness and Jonah, the hero from her favorite book. But getting either is about as likely as her father rising from the dead. Instead, she runs home, to Deep Haven, MN, to open her dream bookstore. Joe Michaels has never stopped running. He is merely slowing down to visit a brother he barely knows. When Mona's dreams begin to crumple, Joe is conveniently there to save her. But when dreams turn to disaster, is Joe the man she hopes he is? Or is he someone much, much different?

The key here is to
not
give away the details, but to think like a marketing person and find the juiciest tidbits. Think of the blurbs on the back of books. They grab you, and much of the time, based on that 100 word summary, you purchase the book. That is the response you're aiming for.

Summarizing your book.

What are the theme and the take-away message of your book? You must get very creative, descriptive, and frugal in this section of your query letter. The key is to say as much as possible about the book, in terms of its content, in two to four sentences. Query letters should be one page only. The editor just doesn't have time to read more than that.

Here is what I wrote for
Happily Ever After
:

Through a myriad of disasters, including a family of roaches, a house fire, a saboteur, and finally the unveiling of Joe's secrets, Joe and Mona discover that when they turn their hopes over to the Lord, He will satisfy their wildest dreams and fulfill the longings of their hearts.

Where does your book fit in the market?

Is your book a stand alone? The first in a series? Why is it unique? This is the paragraph where you really sell your book. Go ahead, tell the editor why it is great, and tell him/her where it will fit in their lineup. Definitely do some research and know what the publisher offers. DON'T try and sell a romance to a publisher who doesn't publish romance. Then, pump up those traits your book has, the ones you know they want.

Here is my marketing paragraph. Note that I am selling the series, as well as book one.

Set in the fictional, picturesque tourist town of Deep Haven, northern Minnesota,
Happily Ever After
is the first in a three-part collection entitled, "The Deep Haven Series." Each book tells the story of a woman, running from the storms of life and searching for a home, who discovers true love and the inner peace that only a deep relationship with God can bring. The series combines the threads of mystery, suspense, and spiritual searching with heartwarming tales of love, and weaves them into satisfying romances set it in a town we'd all love to visit. Attached is a short summary of the series and the titles in the collection.

Who are you and why can you write this book?

In one or two sentences, highlight your publishing credits. If you don't have any, list the reasons why you are an authority to write this story. Obviously, I could pull off Russian stories with some degree of authenticity because of my missionary experience. And my first book with Tyndale was a "found my true love in Russia" story. I spent my childhood in an idyllic town in northern Minnesota, so I was able to write with some legitimacy about the state’s north shore.

Here’s my authority statement:

I am a missionary in Far East Russia, who grew up on the beautiful north shore of Minnesota. I’ve published numerous devotionals and articles, and this story won first place in an online contest.

The mechanics.

This paragraph simply explains how long the book is, how much you have written, whether your proposal is out to other publishers as well, and details the items you've included in your package. And, of course, don’t forget to thank the editor for his or her time in reading the proposal.

Here’s how I finished my query letter:

Happily Ever After
is a completed manuscript of 90,000 words. Currently, this is a simultaneous submission. (Note: “Simultaneous submission” means you’ve sent the manuscript to other editors/agents at the same time. Check your publisher/agents policy on this. Attached please find the story synopsis and the first three chapters. Thank you for your consideration.

Those are the basics of a good query letter.

In short, the query letter hooks your editor on your idea and the synopsis hooks them on your ability to weave a story. And, of course, the sample chapters hook them on your writing ability.

Query Letter Checklist: