H.R.H. (24 page)

“It's all right,” he said soothingly, “it's all right. Calm down.” She tried and failed miserably and finally caught her breath long enough to tell him in halting words what her father had said.

“He said we have to stop seeing each other immediately.” She sounded beaten, frightened, and like a child again, and all he wanted was to put his arms around her and console her and give her strength.

“And what do you say?” he asked, sounding anxious. He had been afraid of this. She had warned him of it since Senafe. And she was right. It was hard to believe that people in this century could take such an archaic position, but apparently her father had. The entire concept of Serene and Royal Highnesses was archaic. But she was in fact a princess, and like it or not, she had to deal with it. And so did he, and her father's insistence that she only marry a man of royal blood.

“I don't know what to say. I love you. But what can I do? He totally forbade me to pursue this with you. He said he'll never let us marry, and I know he means it. He would have to override the parliament and the Family Court to allow us to marry, and he won't.” And she felt wrong just running away. She couldn't do that. She wanted his permission. Parker believed it now, too, and he was as devastated as she was. To him, this was insane. It made no sense. For a moment, he thought of suggesting that they meet in secret until her father died, and once her brother ruled the country, she could sneak away. But realistically, Hans Josef could live another twenty or thirty years, and it would be no life for them. Her father had completely boxed her in, and him with her.

“Will you meet me again for a weekend?” There was a long pause while she thought about it. “I want to discuss this with you in person. Maybe we can figure out something.” Although he had to admit now that it was unlikely he could come up with a solution that she could live with, and that would be acceptable to her father. She was not willing to just walk and defy him, although perhaps in time she would be. He also knew that the promise made to her mother mattered to her, as well as the approval of the parliament and Family Court. In order to marry Parker, she had to be willing to defy them all. He knew it was a lot to ask. And he was thinking of talking to her father himself, if Christianna was willing, and if the prince would see him. Other than that, he had no suggestions for right now. He just wished he could put his arms around her, and so did she. This was so much harder than he had hoped it would be. All her fears had been right.

“I'll try,” she answered finally about the weekend. “I don't know when I can. I'll have to lie again. And we can't do this often.” In truth, she suspected that if she met him again, it would be the last time she ever saw him. She could not hide from her father forever, and the paparazzi would never let her, no matter how careful they were. But she wanted to see him one more time. Even if only that, and she was not going to ask her father permission to do so. She was sure he wouldn't even grant her that. So she did not intend to ask. “I'll see when I can get away. It may not be for a while. I have a feeling he's going to watch me closely. We'll just have to e-mail and use the phone for a while.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” he said calmly. He was trying to sound calmer for her than he felt. He was completely panicked. Thanks to the archaic traditions of her father and country, he was going to lose her. Her father was breaking both their hearts. “I love you, Cricky. We'll see what we can come up with.”

“I told him I would never marry,” she said, sobbing again, and his heart went out to her. Her pain was as great as his, perhaps greater, because she felt betrayed by someone she loved.

“Let's both calm down before you become the virgin princess in the tower. Maybe if we're stubborn enough over time, we'll wear him down. What if I go to talk to him?” Parker suggested cautiously.

“You don't know him,” she said somberly. “He won't see you, and we won't wear him down. He believes in what he's doing.” She sounded lighthearted for a moment then, and giggled. “And by the way, I'm not a virgin.”

“I won't tell if you don't,” he laughed. He wasn't willing to give up on her yet, in spite of her father. It seemed a lot to ask her to run away with him and abandon everything, and he didn't think she would. She had far too great a sense of duty to defy her father and the traditions and constitution of her country. To her it seemed almost like treason. She wanted to win her father over, and convince him. And even Parker was coming to believe it was hopeless. And she had a strong distaste for scandal because of her brother. But Parker was determined to find a way. There had to be one. He refused to be defeated. He asked her to call him back in a few hours, just to talk, and told her to try and calm down. She felt better after talking to him, he was so solidly there for her, and such a good person. But she still couldn't see a way to improve their situation. She knew her father would never relent. She wanted to see Parker one more time, and then she suspected she had to do as she was told, and say goodbye to him. It truly broke her heart.

Christianna remained locked up in her apartment for five days. She opened the door to no one save her secretary once a day, when she accepted a small amount of food on a tray. She called Parker and e-mailed him. She took no calls, she went nowhere. And she had no contact whatsoever with her father. He inquired about her many times a day, and was always told the same thing, that she hadn't come out of her apartment. He was grief-stricken, but just as she had no choice in the face of his rigid disapproval, he felt he had no choice either, given the traditions he was bound to uphold, and even the promise he had made her mother. They were trapped in a piece of history, both of them, however painful. And Parker along with them, with disastrous results for all. But no matter how agonizing, there was still no way out, for now.

In despair one night, Christianna called her cousin Victoria in London. She was in high spirits, her new fiancé was there, and she sounded as though she'd been drinking, which was typical. So she was very little help to Christianna in her plight.

“Darling, I saw you in the paper … my Gawd, that man you were with is so handsome, why didn't you tell me? Where did you find him?”

“In Senafe,” Christianna said dully. She was feeling awful, which was why she'd called. Facing the reality of her situation, she had cried for hours, and had called Victoria for comfort, which she was not very good at. She was too busy having fun to focus on anything else.

“Where?” Victoria sounded blank.

“In Africa. He was one of the doctors there.”

“How sexy! Is your father having a fit?”

“Yes, he is,” Christianna said miserably, foolishly hoping for some advice.

“Obviously, darling. He's so hopelessly uptight and old-fashioned. Just think how lucky he is not to have a daughter like me. But then again,” she said whimsically, “he has Freddy. I suppose that's punishment enough, although I love the boy. He was here last night.” Christianna had thought he was in Vienna, but hadn't talked to him in days, not since before her weekend in Paris.

“Papa says I have to end it, and I can never marry him because he doesn't have a title.”

“How stupid. Why doesn't he just give him one? He could, you know. They do it all the time here, for the silliest of reasons. Well, not really, I suppose … but they could. I heard about an American who bought the title because he bought someone's house.”

“My father doesn't do things like that. He ordered me to end it.”

“What a nasty thing to do. I'll tell you what, why don't you meet him in secret here? I won't tell a soul.” Except her drug dealer, her maid, her hairdresser, her ten best friends, her new fiancé the rock star, and probably even Freddy, some night when they got drunk together, which they apparently did often. Christianna liked the idea but knew it would never work. And if she became one of Victoria's permanent coterie, her father would have Christianna locked up. Victoria seemed to be getting worse, and constantly more outrageous. Christianna was never entirely sure if it was her personality or drugs. Even her father had commented since Christianna got home that from all he heard, Victoria seemed to be completely over the top and he thought Cricky should steer clear of her. Freddy, of course, loved her entire scene.

In the end, talking to Victoria gave her nothing, not even comfort. She would have loved to talk to Fiona, with her bright mind, sense of justice, and practical ideas, but she was gone, and Christianna knew she would never have understood the delicacy of the situation. She knew nothing about royal life. She had no one to talk to, and no one to offer suggestions or comfort, except Parker, who was as distraught as she was. He was at his wit's end, and all he wanted from Christianna was for her to meet him somewhere, but she couldn't yet. She was waiting for things to calm down, so she wouldn't draw attention to what they were up to, whatever they decided at the time.

The topper, of course, was a call from Freddy. He had gone to Amsterdam, and blithely said he was having a fabulous time doing drugs, and Victoria and her fiancé were with him. Christianna was instantly sorry she had taken the call. He sounded high, and was.

“Well, don't give me shit anymore, my perfect little virgin sister. All those speeches you and Father make me about facing my responsibilities. What a crock that is, while you're sneaking off to Paris with your boyfriend. You're just as bad as I am, Cricky, you just cover your tracks better, with all that holier-than-thou garbage, while you kiss Papa's ass. And you didn't cover your tracks so well this time, darling, did you?” He was nasty all through the call, and a moment after she took it, Christianna hung up. She hated him sometimes. And now she hated them all, even her father. There was so much hypocrisy and tradition, and unlivable rules that bound them. The only one she didn't hate was Parker. He suggested that the sooner she came out of her locked room, the sooner everyone would stop paying attention to her, and the sooner they could meet.

The day after he made the suggestion to her, she unlocked her doors. She went back to doing the appearances she was committed to make. She did everything she was supposed to do, and was expected to. The only thing she wouldn't do was go to dinners with her father, or events with him. Nor would she sit in the dining room with him alone. She just couldn't do it. She was eating very little these days, her heart was aching, and she ate in her room on a tray, with the dog as company. Her father didn't press the point. They nodded to each other when they passed each other in the halls, but neither of them spoke.

Chapter 17

F
or the rest of October and into the early days of November, Christianna performed her duties like the princess she was. She eventually began speaking to her father again, although with little warmth and great reserve. He had never hurt her so badly in her entire life, and what was worse, he knew it, and felt terrible about it himself. He was trying to give her as much space and time as she needed to heal. He was impressed that she was still fulfilling her duties, but deeply saddened by her continuing anger at him, although he fully understood why, and even sympathized with her. He just felt there was nothing he could do differently, due to the circumstances. It was an impossible situation even for him. He was locked in by his beliefs, and convinced he was doing the right thing for his daughter.

Freddy had caused one of his scandals by then. He had a fight with someone at Mark's Club. He had been frighteningly drunk, as usual, was asked to leave, punched the doorman, got in a fight with police on the street, and was taken to jail. In the end, they didn't arrest him, sobered him up, and her father's lawyers picked him up and brought him home the next day. He remained in Vaduz under house arrest for the next week, and then went back to Vienna to wreak more havoc. He was becoming a serious problem to his father, and after what he had said to her about Parker, for the moment she wanted nothing to do with him either. She was not on glowing terms with either her father or her brother. And her life in Vaduz got lonelier every day. She was pining for Parker, but he had not come up with any brilliant suggestions, as promised. There were none, and she knew it, but she still wanted to see him one more time, to say goodbye.

The opportunity came finally when her father went to Paris for a week, for UN meetings over the tensions in the Middle East. As a neutral country, Liechtenstein's contributions were valuable, despite its tiny size. And her father was a deeply respected man on the international political scene. He was well known for his integrity and sound judgment.

She called Parker as soon as he left. He was going to San Francisco for Thanksgiving in a few weeks, but he said he could fly to Europe to meet her first. Paris was out, because her father was there. London was always a hotbed of press. And Parker came up with a wonderful suggestion, which she loved.

“What about Venice?”

“It's cold in winter, but it's so beautiful. I'd love that.” And there was a good chance it would be deserted and no one would discover them. It was a spring and summer destination for lovers, not a winter one. It seemed perfect to them, and particularly to Christianna. Venice in winter seemed like the perfect place to say a tragic last goodbye.

She made her own arrangements by phone, which was more complicated than she thought it would be. And finally she had to take her secretary Sylvie into her confidence, because she needed a palace credit card to pay for her tickets. She had agreed to meet Parker there. Sam and Max had already said they would come with her, although they had some trepidation about it, once they suspected who she'd be meeting there. She told them she would take full responsibility for it, and two days later they were on the plane. Sylvie had been instructed to tell her father that she was going to a spa in Switzerland. But he was far too busy with the UN in Paris to call.

She left in darkest secrecy, and was more than a little nervous about it. But no matter what they did to her after this, or said to her, she had to see Parker one last time.

Sylvie had made reservations for them at the Gritti Palace. They had two rooms, as they'd done in Paris, but only planned to use one. And he was waiting for her at the hotel when she arrived. She called him, and he was in her room instantly, and she was in his arms. He had never looked more beautiful to her, nor she to him. She cried when she saw him, and moments later he had her laughing. They were days of laughter and tears, and endless love.

The weather was beautiful and sunny, they walked miles everywhere. They went to churches and museums, ate in tiny restaurants and
trattorie
, avoiding all the fashionable places where they might get caught, although Venice seemed almost deserted at that time of year. They walked through the Piazza San Marco, looking at the pigeons, went to mass in St. Mark's Cathedral, and took a gondola under the Bridge of Sighs, the Ponte dei Sospiri, as he looked at her happily. It was like a dream for both of them, and neither of them wanted to ever wake up.

“You know what that means, don't you?” he whispered, after they glided slowly under the Bridge of Sighs. The gondolier had sung to them, and Christianna was lying against him, totally content, covered in a blanket in the cool November air.

“What?” She looked peaceful and sounded dreamy as she looked up at him with a smile. They had been from Africa to Paris and now to Venice, but the journey they had shared would have to end here. She wasn't thinking about that then, just about how happy she was.

“Once we go under the Bridge of Sighs together, we belong to each other forever. That's what the legend says, and I believe it. Do you?” Parker asked as he pulled her close to him.

“Yes,” she said quietly. She had no doubt that she would love him for the rest of her life, but doubted she would ever see him again after this. And then she turned to look at him and told him again how much she loved him, so he would never forget this moment either. The difference between them was that in her head and heart she was freeing him, to go on and lead a life without her, almost as though she were going to die. In fact, her heart was doomed, at her father's hands. She would live her dutiful life forever, and then one day she would retire quietly. She had no intention of marrying some prince her father might introduce her to at some later time. She knew without hesitating for an instant that Parker was the love of her life. And in his innocence, as they drifted through Venice, holding hands and kissing, Parker had no idea what was in her mind. She was planning to tell him on the last night.

On their second day in Venice, they wandered in and out of shops under the arcade. They were mostly jewelers and a few antique shops. They finally walked into one tiny little shop in the corner under the arcade. They had some crosses Christianna wanted to look at, and they walked in, hand in hand. The shopkeeper was ancient, and Christianna spoke to him in Italian about the crosses while Parker poked around, and then noticed something in a display case that caught his eye. It was a narrow gold band with tiny emerald hearts embedded in it. It was obviously antique and well worn, but the color of the stones was pretty, and he pointed it out to Christianna and told her to ask the man how much. He quoted an absurdly low price, and when they both looked startled by how cheap it was for something so pretty, he apologized and reduced the price further. Parker gestured for him to take it out of the case so Christianna could try it on, and she was touched. He slipped it onto her finger and it fit perfectly, as though it had been made for her or belonged to her in another lifetime. The tiny bright green emeralds came alive on her delicate hand. Parker beamed at her, and paid the man as she looked at him in amazement, and then at the lovely band she was wearing.

“I don't know what you call it when you ask a princess to marry you, particularly when you're about to be beheaded by her father.”

“A guillotine ring, I think,” she said, smiling, and he laughed out loud.

“Exactly. That's our guillotine ring, Your Highness,” he said with a very creditable bow, as though he had done it a thousand times. “One day I'll replace it with a better one, if they'll ever let me. But in the meantime, that's so you know I love you, and I mean it. And if we go to the guillotine together, or I go by myself, at least you'll have something to remember me by.”

“I'll always remember you, Parker,” she said, with tears filling her eyes. And for the first time, as she looked at him, she realized that he knew as well as she did what this trip was. It was their goodbye, either forever or perhaps for a very long time. It would have been hard if not impossible for her to continue to sneak away to see him. It had been nothing short of a miracle for her to be able to do so this time. He knew perfectly what was happening, and so did she. They were storing away memories now, until they met again, if they ever could. Like squirrels in winter, gathering nuts to save for when they were starving. Their life of starvation would begin the day they left Venice. Until then, they were celebrating the abundance of their love. The little emerald ring served to confirm it, and when he slipped it onto her finger and told her he loved her, she vowed to herself and to him that she would never take it off. They referred to it after that as her guillotine ring, which always made her smile.

They visited the Doge's Palace and the Pisani Palace, and then the Pesaro Palace, and the Church of Santa Maria della Salute, and Christianna particularly wanted to visit Santa Maria dei Miracoli, because she wanted to pray for a miracle for them. It was the only thing that would help them now.

They shared their last dinner in a tiny restaurant on one of the smaller canals. A man sang love songs to them, with a mandolin, and whenever they weren't eating, they held hands. They took a gondola back to the hotel, and stood outside for a long moment, in the moonlight, looking at each other. Each moment they had shared in the past few days was etched forever in their minds.

“We're going to have to be strong, you know, Cricky,” Parker said to her. Without her ever having said it to him in so many words, he knew exactly that this was the last time they would ever be together, ever or for a long time. “I'm always going to be with you, sometime, somehow. If ever you doubt it, look at your guillotine ring, remember this, and we'll find our way back to each other someday.” As she listened to him, she knew that one day he would marry someone else, have children with them, and hopefully have a happy life. She couldn't even imagine doing that herself. She wanted no one in her life but him. And all he wanted was her.

“I'll love you till the day I die,” she said, and meant every word of it, while he hoped that wouldn't be for a long, long time.

And then, walking slowly, they went inside for their last night. He made love to her, and afterward, wrapped in their robes, they stood on the balcony, and looked at Venice by moonlight. It was heartbreakingly beautiful.

“Thank you for coming to meet me here,” she said, looking at him, and he pulled her slowly into his arms.

“Don't say that to me. I would cross the world for you. Whenever you want to see me, call me, and I'll come running.” They had agreed to continue e-mailing each other. She couldn't even imagine a life without contact with him, even if she couldn't see him again. And she had promised to call him, she needed to hear his voice, too. Her father could prevent them from seeing each other, but he couldn't stop them from loving each other. Only time could do that. And for now, they were still deeply in love.

They slept in each other's arms that night, stirring occasionally, touching each other, feeling each other's breath on their cheek as they lay tangled and enmeshed. They couldn't get enough of the feel of each other's skin, or the look in each other's eyes.

They stood in the shower together in the morning, letting the water run over them, and then made love one last time. They were each taking all they could with them. It was going to be a long hard winter for a very long time without each other's touch. All they had now was each other's love.

There were no paparazzi when they left. No one had said anything to them, or asked questions. Max and Sam had left them alone for all three days. The two guards had had a good time visiting Venice together, and when they went under the Bridge of Sighs, Samuel had teased Max that it meant they'd be together forever. And Max had asked him if he wanted to be shot now or later. They were both saddened, though, when they saw the look on Christianna and Parker's faces as they left for the airport. There was total silence first in the gondola, then the car, as they left Venice, and both men walked away as the two lovers said goodbye.

“I love you,” Parker said, holding her tightly in his arms. “Remember your guillotine ring and what it means. I would die for you, Cricky. And who knows what happens in life? Maybe one of those candles you lit will work.”

“I'm counting on it,” she said softly, clinging to him for the last few minutes, and then she had to leave. Her flight was first, and she kissed him again and again until Max and Sam thought they'd have to drag her away. “I love you … I'll call you when you get home.”

“I'll be right there, whenever you want me, and right here.” He touched his heart as he had when he left her in Africa. In his heart, he had never left her since, or even before.

They kissed one last time, and feeling as though she had wrenched her soul from his, she walked away toward the plane. She turned once, waved at him, her head held high, her eyes locked in his. She touched her heart and pointed to him. He nodded at her, never letting go of her eyes, and then she turned, and boarded the plane.