H.R.H. (28 page)

Chapter 21

T
he state funeral at St. Stephen's Cathedral in Vienna for her father and Freddy was a ceremony of great pomp and circumstance. The cardinal of Vienna, two archbishops, four bishops, and a dozen priests stood on the altar. Christianna herself sat alone in the front pew, with armed guards all around her. The announcement of her investiture had been made three days before. And she walked behind the empty caskets both coming in and going out of the cathedral, with guards carrying machine guns following her closely.

The service itself took two hours, with the Vienna Boys' Choir singing. She had them play all the music that she knew her father loved. It was a somber, heartrending service, and Christianna cried as she sat alone, with no one to comfort her or hold her, or even hold her hand. From where they stood near her, Max's and Sam's hearts went out to her, but there was nothing they could do for her. As the reigning princess, she had to stand alone now, no matter how hard the moment or agonizing the task. Her life as Her Royal Highness, reigning princess of Liechtenstein, had officially begun.

When they sang the Ave Maria, tears poured down her cheeks, as she stood with her eyes closed in a black dress and coat and a big black hat with a heavy veil.

And then, when it was over, she walked slowly down the aisle of the cathedral, behind the two empty caskets, thinking of her father and Freddy. People in the church whispered about how beautiful she was, and so agonizingly young to have to face so much.

There were two thousand mourners, all by invitation. Heads of state and royals from all over Europe had come. And afterward they entertained them all at Palace Liechtenstein in Vienna. It was the longest day of her life. Victoria was there, but she barely saw her. Victoria still couldn't get over the astounding fact that her cousin was now the reigning princess of Liechtenstein. Christianna couldn't get over it herself. She was still in shock.

She talked to Parker before and after the funeral, and she sounded utterly exhausted. And at nine o'clock that night, they began the drive from Vienna, to arrive at the Vaduz palace shortly after three A.M. They traveled in convoy, with lead and chase cars ahead and behind them. No group had as yet claimed responsibility for the car bombing that had killed her brother and father. And the security they were surrounding her with was immense. She was already sad and lonely, and she had only been reigning princess for three days. She knew that once she truly began the job of reigning, it would be even worse. She remembered now all too clearly how exhausted and discouraged her father used to get on some days. Now that fate was hers.

Sam and Max were in the car with her as they drove back to Vaduz from Vienna, and asked her several times if she was all right. She nodded yes. She was too tired to even speak.

She went straight to bed when they reached Vaduz. She had to be up at seven. The funeral in Vaduz was scheduled for ten the next day. And this one was even sadder, because it was the home she knew he had loved, the place where he had been born, and where he and his son had died. Christianna felt the weight of the world on her shoulders as she walked down the aisle with the empty caskets again, and the music was even more mournful, or seemed it to her, than it had been the day before. And she felt even more alone, in the home of her own childhood, now that they were gone.

The funeral in Vaduz was open to the public, and they opened part of the palace for a reception afterward. Security was so intense that it looked like an armed camp. And there were news cameras from all around the world taking pictures of her.

Parker sat watching it at home in Boston. It was four o'clock in the morning for him, as he saw it on CNN, and he had never seen Christianna look more beautiful. She looked absolutely regal as she walked down the aisle in her hat and veil. The day before, he had watched the funeral in Vienna as well. As best he could, he had been with her every step of the way. And when she called him late that night, afterward, she sounded absolutely drained. He told her how magnificent it had been, what an exquisite job she'd done, and within minutes, she was crying again. It had been the most awful week of her life.

“Do you want me to come over and see you, Cricky?” he offered quietly, but she knew there was no way she could see him now.

“I can't.” The eyes of the world were on her. They both knew she would be under close scrutiny for a long time. She could do nothing scandalous, she had to run her country responsibly. Her life belonged to her people now. She had sworn to uphold Honor, Courage, and Welfare, just as her father had before her, and all those who had come before. They had given up their lives just as she had. She had to follow in their footsteps now, as best she could. And more than ever, she had no idea when she would see Parker again. There would be no more stolen weekends in Paris or Venice, where she could disappear for a few days. She had to live the job she had taken on every minute and hour of the day, for the rest of her life.

She was wearing formal mourning, and the day after the funeral, her life as reigning princess began. They barely gave her time to mourn. She had meetings with ministers, with heads of state who came to offer condolences, she had economic policy meetings, had to visit banks in Geneva. She had briefings and conferences and meetings of every possible kind. Within four weeks her head was spinning, and she felt as though she were drowning, but the prime minister told her she was doing a fine job. In his opinion, her father had been right. She was the best man for the job.

She canceled her plans for Gstaad that year. There would be no Christmas for her of any kind. She didn't have the heart for it, and she and the ministers had agreed that there was to be no formal state entertaining for six months, out of respect for her father. Whatever dignitaries she met with, she would invite for lunch. They had already shortened the official period of mourning from a year to six months.

She met with the foundation, and had quiet dinners at the palace with the prime minister, who was trying to teach her everything she needed to know about her new job. She wanted to learn everything as fast as possible, and soaked it all up like a sponge. She and her father had often spoken in depth about his policies and the intricacies of government, so it was not entirely unfamiliar to her. But the job and the decisions were now hers, with her ministers' guidance, of course.

Sylvie was with her night and day. Max and Sam were glued to her. The heavy security had not yet changed, and when Victoria called and said it would be fun to visit her, Christianna told her bluntly she couldn't come. Her childhood days were over now, she had serious things to do. She began her day in her father's old office at seven, and went straight through until late at night, just as he had.

The only thing that had changed was that Parker was able to call her now. But there was no way she could see him, even for a friendly visit between two old friends. She was single and a reigning princess, and every breath of scandal had to be kept as far away from her as possible. She told him that he couldn't come to visit her, not even for an informal dinner as an old friend she had worked with in Africa, for at least six months.

He wasn't pressing her, in fact he was a constant source of support for her. She called him every night when she finished work, sometimes at midnight for her, which was only six o'clock at night for him. He made her laugh sometimes, and she shared no state secrets with him. As much as the man she loved, he had become her best friend.

The press was also fascinated with her, and took photographs of her every time she left the palace. She found it wearing, but also realized it was part of the landscape for her now. Everything in her life had changed. The only thing that hadn't changed in the past month was the presence of her ever-faithful dog. Charles had become an office fixture now, and the staff jokingly referred to him as the royal dog. He was every bit as mischievous, boisterous, and sometimes badly behaved as he had been before. It was only his mistress who had changed. She worked endless hours, missed her father constantly, and had no time to play or relax. All she could think of now was representing her country and its citizens in the eyes of the world. She began to understand more and more the overwhelming sense of duty her father had felt, and each day she thought of him with ever greater respect and love.

And when she wasn't performing tasks of state, in the weeks after her father's and brother's awful deaths, she had to face painful tasks like going through their personal effects. Her brother's cars were quietly sold. All her father's personal things were stored. She hated walking past his empty rooms, and still felt like an interloper in his office, but she was deeply grateful to his staff for their invaluable support and assistance.

Two days before Christmas she was talking to Parker on the phone, and he had never heard her sound so tired.

“Aren't you going to do something for Christmas, sweetheart? You can't just sit there all alone.” Just hearing the loneliness and exhaustion in her voice made him sad. She had become the lonely princess in the palace in Vaduz. She had no one to spend Christmas with, no family left to be with her. And when he asked her about it, she said that all she was going to do was attend midnight mass. Other than that, even on Christmas Day, she was going to work. She had so much to learn, so much to do, so many things she needed to understand, in order to do an ever better job. She was driving herself too hard, but there was absolutely nothing he could do to help, other than talk to her every night. Their time together in Venice seemed a million years away. The only reminder of it was the little emerald band she always wore.

Parker was spending Christmas with his brother in New York that year. He was too busy with his research project to go to California over the holidays to see his father. And on Christmas Eve, she hadn't had time to speak to him that day. She was planning to call him after midnight mass that night.

She ate a quiet dinner alone, with the dog next to her. Thinking of her father and brother, and the happy times they'd shared, she had a heavy heart and had never felt as alone in her entire life.

Max and Sam went to mass with her, they were always with her now. They had become her personal bodyguards. They were with her in the car as she drove to St. Florin's. In Vaduz that year, it was an icy-cold night. There was snow on the ground, but it had been crystal clear all day, and the air was like needles in her lungs as she got out of the car and walked to the church, wearing somber black and a heavy black hooded coat. Only her beautiful face peeked out.

It was a beautiful mass. The choir sang “Silent Night” in German, and as she listened, tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. It was impossible not to think of the overwhelming losses she had sustained, and the shocking changes in her life in the past month. Even Parker was almost a distant memory now, his existence unreal, a disembodied voice on the phone. He was still the man she loved, but she had no idea when they would meet again, and lying in bed at night, she still longed for his touch.

She walked slowly to the communion rail, following the townspeople of Vaduz, who were all her subjects now. And as they passed her in the aisle, even as sad as she was that night, she smiled at them, as though thanking them for the faith they had in her. They had all been so kind to her, and so welcoming, ever since her father's death. She wanted to earn their confidence and trust, and felt she hadn't yet. Honor, Courage, Welfare. She had finally come to understand the meaning of those words.

She was almost at the altar rail, as a man in a pew just in front of her stood up, turned, and she saw his face. She stopped in her tracks and stared at him. She couldn't understand what he was doing there. He had said he would be in New York. He stood there, smiling at her, and very gently took her hand. He pressed something into her palm, and not wanting to draw attention to them, she continued to move toward the altar rail with her head bowed and a smile on her face. It was Parker.

She took communion, still holding tightly to the tiny package he had slipped into her hand, and then she saw Max watching her. He had seen him, and he was smiling, too. And so was Sam. She went back to her own pew then, bowed her head, and prayed, for her father and brother, the people she owed so much to, and finally for Parker. She lifted her face finally, and with the longing of ages, she was looking at his back, and loving him more than she ever had.

When mass ended, she waited in her pew until he was nearly in front of her, and then he stopped to let her get out. She looked up into his face, thanked him, as people smiled at her, and he quietly followed her out. She shook hands with many of her subjects that night outside the church. Parker stood among them, and she looked into his face with unbridled love as he approached.

“I just came to say Merry Christmas,” he said, smiling at her. “I hated the thought of your being alone.”

“I don't understand,” she said, not wanting to give anything away.

“I'm staying in Zurich, and I'm going back in the morning, to spend Christmas with my brother and his kids.”

“When did you arrive?” She still looked confused. Had he been there for days? But she had talked to him in Boston the day before.

“Tonight. I just came for midnight mass.” The thought of what he had done touched her heart. He had come for hours just so she wouldn't feel alone. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she couldn't with so many people around. Max and Sam came closer and said hello to him. It was obvious that the foursome were old friends. She had slipped his little package into her pocket, and she had nothing to give him but her love.

“I can't take you home with me,” she whispered, and he laughed.

“I know,” he whispered back. “I'll come to visit some other time. In five or six months. I just wanted to give you that,” he pointed to her pocket, and as they walked away from the church together, with Max and Sam on either side of her, she reached for Parker's hand again and held it tight.