I Gave Him My Heart (11 page)

I shook my head, watching his eyes linger all over my body.

“Our divorce will be final in two weeks, Love.” Niq’ looked back in my face.

“So, what? You think I’m not seeing anybody?” I resented the fact that he just knew I was alone.

“Are you seeing anyone in particular?” Niq started unbuttoning the buttons on my jean jacket.

I hesitated, his hands swiping across my cleavage, lingering for a few seconds. I scoffed, pushing him away, watching him smiling, biting his lip. That face was still amazing. I missed it so much, but I still couldn’t shake the fact that Peanut knew about us and never confronted me. It was almost as if she took pride in their relationship, like she was happy that her having his two kids pushed me away from him. I bet she felt real stupid though when the nigga left her and took the kids.

“Didn’t think so.” Niq’ grinned. “So, come inside with me; let’s talk for a few minutes. I’m living in New York now; I left Cali’ with my girls years ago. Peanut is living her life, and I’m living mine. We tried, and it didn’t work.”

“So, what, you thought I was just gonna sit around and wait for your ass? What happened to all your groupies? Don’t laugh.” I watched Niq’ chuckle. “Every basketball player has groupies. How the fuck do you think I know this nigga’s house that we’re at right now?” I watched Niq’s laughter fade. I pursed my lips, looking him over.

He looked me over just the same. “You’re one to talk, Kourtney. You got a nigga beat. Your head game skills have been ringin’ from coast to coast.”

I folded my arms. “What I do is my muthafuckin’ business. I don’t belong to anybody. Fuck niggas, love no one—that’s my motto. I’ve been on this status for years. I’m tired of getting my heart broken by those who said they’d never do that shit. You told Peanut about me but didn’t tell me about her. Then, when you saw that Ernesto was feeling me, you thought you could just swoop in and take me from him. And then when I thought I had you back, after dating you for three years, you let me go so that you could work things out with her! And the bitch knew about me the whole time!”

Niq’ sighed, shaking his head. “Come on, let’s go inside. I’m hot, sweaty, been playin’ ball and shit. Let’s just go inside and shower. Shit, you wanna come to the club with me? These are your friends; I could give a damn what they think about me.”

“See, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. Hell nah, nigga, I’m not going anywhere with you. You haven’t changed. I don’t even know what I was thinking, coming here with you. You’re just like everyone else, thinking I’m just a quick and easy fuck!” I pushed him.

Niq’ shook his head, looking at me like I’d lost my mind. “Nah, you know it ain’t even like that.”

“Do I?” I looked into his face as he moved in closer. “Do you think I miss you, muthafucka?”

Niq moved closer to me, backed me up against his Aventador. “Yeah, you miss a nigga.”

My heart leaped inside of me. Why was he playing with my emotions? He knew I missed him. “Do you think I still love you?” I felt the tears forming in my eyes.

“I know you still love me. You still got my name tattooed on your thigh? You still got that ‘N’ stud pierced over your clit?” Niq’ kissed me on my cheeks.

And I clenched my eyes closed with all of my might, bracing myself, thinking he was going to kiss me on my lips. But he didn’t. I looked back into his face. “I shouldn’t even be here with your lyin’ ass. W-why don’t you just take me back where I belong?”

Niq’ grinned, nodding, backed away from me, pulling me up off the car. “A’ight.” In seconds, this nigga had me over his shoulder, ass in the air, kicking and screaming, carrying me into the house.

“Niq, oh my goodness, put me down!” I squealed as Niq’ unlocked the front doors to the extravagant beach house. I kicked and swung, and he laughed the entire time, carrying me in the house, arm wrapped around my waist, hand cupping my ass cheek.

“Girl, shut’cha ass up.” Niq’ chuckled, letting me down to the ground.

I panted, watching him close the door behind him. “Take me back to the hotel, Niq’! Better yet, take me back to my house! I know you know where I live, ol’ stalkin’ ass!”

“You might as well get comfortable, Kourtney. I’m about to go take a shower. You coming?” Niq’ looked at me.

“You know I don’t take showers with niggas. I’ll pass.” I shook my head at him, watching him kick off his Unique’s. Yeah, the nigga signed with Reebok and had his own low-quarters, which were hot by the way.

“Kourtney, we need to talk.” Niq’ looked my face over.

I shook my head. “About the reality show? Nah, nigga, I’ll pass. Ask one of your hoes to do it. I’m sure you’ve banged quite a few of Ricque’s, or Saint’s, cousins. You already know Nina ain’t got time for this shit. My cousin is too private. She ain’t putting her shit on television. Her life has been on TV enough as it is for the past few months. Did you not just see that shit that went down between the Nicholas family on CNN? You didn’t see those bodies laid out all over Valez Pharmaceuticals? You didn’t see Ricque’s and Saint’s siblings spread out, all shot up and laid out all over the floor of Saint’s mansion? There are no siblings left! Ricque and Saint are all they have, the last of fourteen got-damn children! You think they really wanna be all over—”

“Oh my goodness, do you ever shut the fuck up?” Niq’ laughed, pulling me to him by my face, gently kissing my lips.

I exhaled in his mouth as this man kissed me like I hadn’t been kissed since the last time that he kissed me, which was over a decade ago. I held his hands, which held my face, as I kissed him back.

“It’s been too long since you’ve been gone. Feels good when I’m with you. I miss you.” Played over and over in my mind as the nigga lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, carrying me through the house.

I kissed him and held onto him. I missed him so much. I was full of pain. Full of confusion. Full of unanswered questions. I knew I shouldn’t have been there with Niq’ that day, but I needed him. I loved him. I missed him. He was my first love. That day in that beach house, he carried me into one of the bedrooms in the house where he let me down to the floor and undressed me. He ran his hands over every inch of my body, admiring the scenery. I watched him undress. He was every bit of amazing. His body was smooth, flawless, cut, muscular, chocolate. I was not one to be nervous, but Niq’s very presence made my heart tremble. I stared down at his dick before he pulled me close to him, holding my body against his, before backing into the bed. Niq’ and I got onto that bed that day, and I never wanted to leave. Yeah, I gave in too easily when I didn’t even know the whole story behind him and Peanut. I shouldn’t have let Niq’ enter my body that day. I shouldn’t have let him kiss me, or touch me, or taste me. I wrapped that man up in my legs and wouldn’t let him go until he made me cum. Our body’s still fit together, lock and key, after all those years. The moment our bodies locked, the world stopped spinning. Nothing and no one mattered but him.

***

“You fucked that nigga, Kourtney?” Brittanie had the nerve to confront me at Nina’s shop the following morning.

I rolled my eyes, flipping through my calendar the following morning to find the name of my client that was supposed to be coming in that morning to get a sleeve tatted on his arm.

My girls glanced at me, watching me really not give a fuck about the shit that Brittanie was talking. She always was minding everyone’s business but her own.

“Peanut is on her way over here. Our flight leaves in an hour, and here we are, wasting time, talkin’ to your stupid ass!” Brittanie scoffed.

I looked at her.

“What did that nigga tell you? That he’s not fuckin’ with Peanut anymore? Did he tell you why he has the kids? Did he tell you that Peanut has got-damn HIV, and that’s the reason why he has been raising those girls?” Brittanie informed me.

Everyone gasped.

I sighed, not really knowing what to say.

“We slept with a lot of niggas, Kourtney! That could have been me! Bitch, that could have been
you
! It could have been Tyson, but he got lucky! You and Nina have been gone a long time and a lot has been going on back home. Peanut has been hanging in there for the past ten years. She’s been battling this shit alone!” Brittanie exclaimed. “My best friend is dying, and here you are, fuckin’ around with her man! Did you know the nigga is fuckin’ around with this bitch in New York, this chick who used to be Peanut’s publicist for her clothing line? The bitch’s name is Kristin Collins! I’m cool with the bitch’s sister, who says that the bitch lost a baby of his a few months ago,
and
she’s pregnant by the nigga now!”

I looked at Nina, who sat there on the stood alongside me, an ‘I ain’t even in the mood for this shit’ expression on her face. The bell to the shop door chimed as Peanut strolled her way into the shop. Everyone looked at her as she strolled her way over to me.

“Okay, y’all.” Nina got up off of her stool, watching the pissed off expression on Peanut’s face. “We have customers coming in less than an hour, and we’re not about to start the morning off with you two fighting over a nigga who evidentially doesn’t care too much for either one of you.” Nina rolled her eyes over from me to Peanut. “Peanut, boo, you’re sick.”

Peanut glared at Nina and then looked back at me. “I’m a fighter. Been fighting this long. I’m not going anywhere until God wants me to go. Friends or no friends but Brittanie, Niq or no Niq, I’ma be okay. I don’t need y’all feeling sorry for me. You haven’t been around in years, ain’t called no got-damn body, Kourtney. And why? Because you were fuckin’ around with my got-damn man. The only reason why we broke up in the first place and I kept my kids from him was because he was fuckin’ around on me!”

I sighed, feeling real shitty about the entire situation. “Peanut, I had no idea you were dating him back in junior high; you never told anybody about him! If you hadn’t brought him over for Christmas dinner, I wouldn’t have known that y’all were even dating!”

Peanut shook her head at me. “Why would I brag to everyone about someone who told the world that he was single but told me that I was everything to him? Yes, I used my kids as leverage because all he cared about was you, Kourtney! I loved him, and he loved you, regardless of the fact that we had kids together. He’s a wonderful father. It was my father who coached Niq’ when he was in high school. It was my father who talked to the scouts to get Niq’ picked to play for UCLA. And it was my father’s connections that got him a spot in the NBA!”

“So,” Pretty was confused. “You’re mad at Kourtney because Tyson was using you? I heard the only reason why y’all two married in the first place was because your father wouldn’t let you get your inheritance unless you were married. Tyson was just doing you a favor. So what, they slept together. Evidently you were fuckin’ around too if you caught HIV.”

Peanut shot Pretty a glare for putting in her two cents, which actually made a whole lot of sense. “I contracted HIV in college from another pro athlete, who will remain nameless. Whatever is going on in my life is none of any of you muthafucka’s business!”

“It is when you come up in Nina’s shop, talkin’ shit to Kourtney about a nigga who only married you as a favor to you for your father helping him make it into the industry. Kourtney isn’t the person you need to be mad at, honey.” Pretty tried defending me, but there was no need.

Peanut wasn’t trying to hear her anyway. “I’m mad at Kourtney for not leaving him the fuck alone when she found out about us! I’m mad at Kourtney because she let a muthafuckin’ nigga fuck up a lifelong friendship! I’m mad at Kourtney because she never told me that she was pregnant with my man’s baby!”

Everyone who wasn’t in our conversation after Nina’s wedding stared at me.

Brittanie looked at me. “What?”

I sighed. “I had an abortion when I found out that the two were dating. I thought Niq was mine, Peanut, and I wasn’t about to share him with anyone. It took almost two years to start seeing him again. He promised he was done with you, that all he wanted from you was to see his children.”

“Well, the entire time that he was ‘dating’ you, we were sleeping together. The whole time that he was ‘dating’ you, me and him were fuckin’, Kourtney. The nigga told me about you two, but he lied to you about me. How does that make you feel?” Peanut tried to get in my face, but Brittanie pulled her back.

“Like you need to get the fuck up outta here before we shorten up that death sentence of yours.” Keisha’s no-nonsense ass rose from the couch she was sitting on. She didn’t play games. She could give a fuck if Peanut was sick; she wasn’t about to let Peanut talk shit to me.

I deserved it though. I knew in my heart that he was still seeing Peanut. That she had to mean something to him. Whether he was using her to get ahead of not, I knew how she felt about him. And I already knew she ended up fucking around with as many people as she could in college, just because she knew Niq’ didn’t care about her the way that she needed him to.

Peanut had always been a dainty little thing, but don’t get it twisted. That girl would fuck you up before she let you lay a finger on her. She looked at Keisha and then at everyone who stood around the shop, staring at her. And then, she took what we all had no idea was a wig from her head. Blonde fade or not, that chick was hotter than Amber Rose. But still, the sight of her with less than half an inch of hair on her head made me cry out loud.