I Gave Him My Heart (12 page)

And Peanut cried, too. She tapped on her teeth, which made a nose something like tapping on a coffee mug. “These teeth are made of porcelain. I can’t tell you how painful it was to have all my teeth removed and then have these bad-boys drilled in my got-damn head! I had an allergic reaction to the treatment that they had me on. One doctor suggested radiation, which is why I had to get all of these teeth pulled out of my head. I have been through radiation treatment five times, Kourtney! And each time, Tyson was by my side. He sat out nearly half a season to take care of me. He took my girls with him when he was signed to the Knicks because I couldn’t let my girls see me suffer. I was too sick to take care of them, and Tyson didn’t mind letting his girls go stay with him. I’m divorcing Tyson because I can’t keep holding onto him. He doesn’t deserve this. Yes, he’s a playa. Yes, he’s a ladies’ man. But I knew those things back in junior high. But when I was sick, he was there for me. He never ever left my side. That boy was there to care for me. I would do anything for him except tie him down when he needs to be set free. I can’t be his burden anymore.”

“Boo, I’m so sorry.” My heart sunk deep down in my chest.

“Sorry about what, Kourtney?” Peanut sniffled, drying her face. “You’re not sorry because, if you were, you wouldn’t have been fuckin’ around with Tyson behind my back! You wouldn’t have had sex with him when you just saw him with me at your sister’s wedding! I don’t give a fuck if we are getting a divorce or not; you need to stay the fuck away from him until that shit is final! You got your friends over here, coming at me, talkin’ shit. Y’all can talk shit all you want to about me, but y’all don’t know shit about the relationship that I have with Tyson!” Peanut snapped at Keisha, who was seriously standing in her personal space. “So, it’s best you get outta my face, Felicia!”

Keisha scoffed, about to seriously confront an HIV patient. Keisha was always ready to fight someone. “My name ain’t no got-damn Felicia!”

“Well, whatever the fuck it is, you need to mind your own got-damn business. Y’all sittin’ here defending a girl who’d fuck her own best friend’s man. Who’s to say she hasn’t fucked any of y’alls men? Keisha, Felicia, whatever the fuck your name is, I saw the way your date was looking at Kourtney. I’m sure the nigga has been all up in her guts!” Peanut scoffed.

I had to pull Keisha away from Peanut. Peanut had me fucked up, but I was going to let it slide that time. Brittanie was right. I could have been her. I had no idea of the amount of men that I’d slept with. I couldn’t name all the muthafuckas if I tried. The only ones I really remembered were either the ones that I loved, who hurt me, or the ones who loved me that I hurt.

“Come on, Keisha, chill!” I yelled out.

Keisha looked at me and then back at Peanut. “Peanut, you need to leave. I’m not about to let you talk shit to my girl when everything you’re doing and everything you’ve done over the years has been to spite her. From marrying the nigga all the way to showing up at the wedding. You’re sick; you should be home in bed and not here showing out with a man who used you to get where he wanted. Don’t be mad at Kourtney. Be mad at yourself for trusting those niggas. Kourtney isn’t the reason why you can’t be with Tyson. You and your poor choices are the reason why you can’t be with Tyson. How the fuck could things possibly work out between the two of you when you have HIV? Are you serious right now?”

Peanut wasn’t trying to hear that shit. She lunged at Keisha, but Brittanie pulled her friend away. “Peanut, no!” Brittanie screamed. “Let’s just leave. They can judge you all they want, but every one of these bitches put themselves in a situation to be in your shoes. They were just lucky, that’s all. If Kourtney wants to fuck around with Tyson, let the bitch hurt herself. When that bitch shows up on her doorstep with that baby, she’ll learn.”

Brittanie basically had to push Peanut out the door. She had a lot more words for me and the rest of my crew who thought they knew her story and what was going on between her and Niq’. There was really no making up for what I had done. My girls tried to take up for me, telling me that I shouldn’t have felt stupid for messing around with Niq’, but I did. He begged me to move to New York with him. Begged me to do the reality show. Begged me to leave Nina behind and go back stateside to pursue my dreams with him. Niq’ was the first guy to treat me with respect. I thought this guy was different than the rest, but turned out he was the worst kind there was. The kind to make you fall for him when he knew he wasn’t trustworthy. I had to do better because I knew better. I had to change, and that had to include the ones I kept around me as well.

Chapter Five

Spread My Wings

“She’s what? How many centimeters is she?” I squealed through my cell phone the morning of July 4, 2016. I was helping Pretty and Lailah set up shop at Uncle Carlos’ hotel. We were planning on partying until we couldn’t feel our feet that night, but Nina put a damper in our plans.

“A’ight, Ricque, bruh, I’m on my way!” I squealed, jumping up and down like I was about to pee on myself. “Oh my goodness! I gotta get the fuck outta here!”

“Wait!” Pretty laughed, the sun beaming through the window and through her blonde, curly hair. “What’s going on?”

I grabbed my purse. “My boo is in labor!” I cried out loud.

Pretty and Lailah started squealing.

“Call us when you get there, Kourtney, a’ight? And tell my boo we’ll be there as soon as that load drops!”

I raced down the street on the way to my boo. She didn’t want to have that baby at a hospital. She wanted to have that baby in the privacy of her own home. She’d had three midwives, three nurses, and a doctor on stand-by. Aunt Rayna had been in town for a week, anxious for the arrival of baby Princessa. Nina told Ricque that she was pregnant when they went on their honeymoon. Nina caught his response on her iPhone camera. The look on his face though. That dude was too excited about her having his baby again.

I got to Nina’s house that morning to find Ricque carrying her out in his arms. Turned out Nina was bleeding profusely. Something wasn’t right. Princessa’s heart rate was low. Nina wanted to have her baby natural, no drugs, no C-section, no hospital, but there she was, being sat in the passenger seat of Ricque’s Ashton Martin. Aunt Rayna jumped in the back, and you already know I was right alongside her. Nina screamed out in agony as Ricque raced down the streets of Punta Cana.

It had been a long eight months. When Nina told me she was pregnant, she was about five weeks pregnant then. From the time Nina told me that she was pregnant, home girl was sick. Couldn’t keep anything down. Ricque stayed home for at least six months before getting back on the road again. His fans missed him while he was away and welcomed him back with open arms when he came off hiatus. While he was home taking care of his boo, he’d been writing music. He’d write music and lay beside her in their bed singing to her, seeing how she liked the music. Damn near every song that he sang had to do with her or their little baby. I think Ricque loved her then more than he ever did.

I helped take care of Nina, too. I needed something, anything to keep my mind off of reaching out to Niq’. I didn’t even tell him that I knew anything about his baby with the chick in New York or that I knew Peanut had HIV. I didn’t even give dude my phone number, but apparently, he’d gotten my information from someone because he was blowing the fuck out of my phone. He even had that producer from Reelz TV, Trench Carter, reach out to me about the “opportunity of a lifetime” reality show. I threw the idea by my girls at the shop who were all, hell yeah, girl, do that shit. Nina, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to put her life on display, just like I’d suspected in the beginning.

As soon as we got to the hospital, Ricque pulled up to the curb. Paramedics and nurses were already waiting for Nina out front. Ricque jumped out of his ride, racing over to the passenger side to get his little Nina out of her seat and onto a stretcher. Aunt Rayna, Ricque, and I raced behind the paramedics, who were racing down the hallways of the hospital to get Nina into labor and delivery. Despite the fact that Ricque was her husband, the muthafuckas wouldn’t let him into the room with her until they had Nina stabilized. After checking the vitals of Nina and her baby, they discovered that Nina had full placenta-previa; the placenta was fully covering the cervix and that vaginal birth was impossible. The fuckin’ medical team that Ricque hired should have seen that. She’d had plenty of sonograms. There was really no excuse. She wasn’t supposed to be delivering the baby vaginally from the beginning. A C-section should have been scheduled way before her delivery date. Their negligence put both Nina and her baby’s lives at risk. You already know that when the doctors at the hospital told Ricque that shit, that nigga was on one hundred from the words ‘your doctors made a mistake’. Lucky Ricque’s crew had showed up just in time to calm that nigga.

Despite of the complications of that morning, everything had calmed down by that afternoon. Nina gave birth to a healthy, plump, curly-haired, bright-eyes little girl. After Ricque calmed down from his medical team’s fuck-up, they let him be with his wife through the delivery. They let Aunt Rayna in as well. She got the entire thing on camera for me because I was too weak to go in. I couldn’t see Nina like that, being cut open.

I sat in the waiting room, crying, as Aunt Rayna let me see the video of my boo on her iPhone. Ricque was crying, cutting the baby’s umbilical cord. Little Princessa was screaming at the top of her lungs from the moment they cut her out of the womb. She was grabbing onto Ricque’s hands and arms before they could even wrap her hollering ass in the blanket.

Aunt Rayne cried, smiling at me as I watched the video. “She is so beautiful, isn’t she? Oh, she looks exactly like London!”

I couldn’t even talk; I was crying so much. I nodded, watching the video, watching Ricque bringing the baby to Nina’s face so that she could see her baby. Nina cried out as the baby grabbed her face, screaming at her mommy. Ricque cried, kissing both his big baby and his little baby. “Awe!” I cried out, watching my family together.

Our girls from the shop showed up to see my boo that evening. I sat in the corner of the room to give everyone the chance to see Nina and her baby. I’d cried with Ricque and her enough that day. It was time that I gave our girls a turn to shed some tears. Nina was in pain, but she was so beautiful. That curly mane of hers was everywhere until Ricque helped her brush it up into a ponytail. Aunt Rayna only let everyone stay for about an hour before she rushed everyone but me out of the room. Watching Nina laying in that hospital bed, holding that baby close, crying with Ricque, really had me feeling some type of way. Ricque kissed both of his babies— Nina and Princessa. You already know I was happy for Nina. She’d lost so much. She deserved happiness. But watching her there with a man who was willing to fight for her only made me realize that... I wished someone would fight for me, too. Someone that belonged to me and nobody else. Where the fuck was he? And when I found him, would I be ready for him?

I let the three lovebirds spend some nesting time together, while I did my daily runs. July 4
th
wasn’t just the day our country won its independence. It wasn’t just the birth of my beautiful niece. But it also marked the birth of Ivan Santiago Nicolas, aka Saint Dominguez. You can imagine the pain that he felt when he got wind of Nina giving birth to his niece on his birthday. The party that we were throwing at the hotel was a surprise party for Saint. He was always doing for everyone else; it was time everyone else did for him. There was nothing that dude wouldn’t give you if you asked. Nothing he wouldn’t do for you if you needed him. And when he helped you, it was always with no strings attached. My brutha-in-law was most definitely better than yours.

“Hey, boo.” I rolled up on Saint at his bar that night. I knew he was going to be at the bar because he had a business meeting with one of his partners from South Korea, Yin Young, the most gangsta Korean you’d ever meet. If it weren’t for the slanted eyes, you would have thought the muthafucka was black. His family was richer than life. He had been hanging around
Escorpión a lot for the past few months. Saint was thinking of opening a club in Baltimore, Maryland. He wanted Young to run the club for him.

Saint grinned when he saw me strolling into his club that evening. He was dressed to impress as usual, his curly hair grazing his pressed buttoned-down shirt. “Hola, senorita. Como estas?”

“See now, I learned that phrase back in school. Now we can talk Spanish!” I laughed, sitting in front of him, on a stool next to Young’s sexy ass at the bar. “Muy bien. Y tu?” I looked at Young, who was checking out my thighs in my Daisy’s. I rolled my eyes.

“Hey, Young.”

“What’s up, Chambers?” Young grinned.

I grinned from him over to Saint, who shook his head at me. “What?”

“Pretty told me about the party y’all are trying to throw for me tonight.” Saint watched me sighing, rolling my eyes. “No voy a la fiesta; I’m not going to the party, Ma. Sorry.”

“Oh my goodness; Pretty’s ass can’t ever keep a got-damn secret! I’ma go curse that bitch out!” I was about to get up from the table when Saint grabbed my arm.

Saint laughed out loud. “Chill! It’s not her fault. I went to Uncle Carlos’s hotel, looking for my uncle, when I saw her and Yandi coming out of the ballroom. I caught them mid conversation, talking about how much I was going to love the party. She didn’t purposely tell a nigga; I walked into it. When I asked where they were headed in such a hurry, she told me that she was headed to the hospital to see Nina. So…”

I looked at Saint, who didn’t have to say a word. I knew he wanted to see the picture of the baby, even if he didn’t want to really see the picture of the baby. I sighed before taking my cell phone out of my pocket. I flipped through the gallery until I got to a picture of Nina holding the baby. I handed Saint the phone. I watched Saint’s eyes glistening as he flipped through the pictures. I didn’t want him to see the pictures of Ricque and Nina together, but since he wanted to be nosy, he saw them on his own. Saint exhaled deeply, going through the pictures of his family.

“Did-Did you give her the present I bought for the baby?” Saint choked a little, kissing a picture of Nina and her baby before handing my phone back to me.

I wanted to cry, watching that dude hold back the tears over Nina and his niece. “You mean, that big box of baby clothes and toys, the crib, the bassinet, the infant car seat, the stroller, and the playpen?”

“Got-damn, nigga!” Young laughed out loud.

I laughed, too. “Yes, boo, she got everything. The embroidered sheets and comforter with Princessa’s name on them were her favorite. She cried. Didn’t you get the thank you card that she was supposed to send you?”

Saint grinned. “Nah.”

I sighed. “Well, you should have by now. That girl is too afraid to confront you, but I guess that’s to be expected. You did good though. The award for Uncle of the Year definitely goes to you, boo. But please, come to your party tonight. I worked so hard to put this shit together! Don’t leave me hanging! Nina won’t be there. Ricque won’t be there. Just my girls and my homies. A few celebrities are rolling through. I think that muthafucka, Trench, from Reelz TV will be there. He’s still trying to convince me to do this reality TV bullshit.”

“Why not?” Saint’s eyes searched my face.

“You can’t be serious.” I scoffed.

“You said you wanted to open your own business, right? Why open just one? Why not a bar here and open the bar with my nigga, Young, up in Maryland?” Saint watched me fold me arms. “This is a great business opportunity for you. Being on this show can give you the exposure that you need to promote your artwork. You’re scared to compete with your cousin here in the DR, so open up a shop in Baltimore. You said you wanted to go to art school. Well, there’s a great college up there. You ever heard of the Knoxberry School of Arts? I can get’cha in, Ma.”

Saint was the only one who knew I was tired of just being Nina’s sister. I felt the same way that my mom felt when she was alive when it came to Aunt Rayna. She hated being compared to her sister. When it came between the two of them, the only thing my mom managed to do before Aunt Rayna was get pregnant. She was sixteen when she had me, and Aunt Rayna just twelve when she had Nina. Grandma blamed Mama for Aunt Rayna’s behavior. Turned out, Grandma knew the whole while that her fuckin’ husband—Mama’s and Aunt Rayna’s stepfather was molesting her girls. He had both of them pregnant. Instead of acknowledging his behavior, she punished her girls by sending them away. Mother resented Aunt Rayna. They both were sent to group homes as soon as their pregnancies were revealed. Mama said that our Aunt Megan, who lived in Nevada, took them in. She was the one who turned our mothers into gold-diggers. Aunt Megan had so many niggas it was ridiculous. Everything she owned was paid for with her pussy. While she milked her niggas dry, Mama said she stayed home, trying to raise me, Nina, and Aunt Rayna. It was no wonder she loved Nina. She practically raised her. Yet and still, Mama resented Aunt Rayna.

Mama hated being Aunt Rayna’s older sister. I hated being Nina’s sister-cousin. And I’m sure Saint understood my pain because he worked his ass off only to be known as Ricque’s half-brother
.
I think he worked as hard as he did to keep people from only looking at him as Ricque’s brother. He had just as much potential as Ricque did. Just because he didn’t sing or rap didn’t mean the muthafucka wasn’t entertaining. He was funny and crazy as hell. He could dress his ass off. He was charismatic. He had a smile out of this world. He had an eye for art and an eye for talent. He was a club owner as well as a promoter. And he helped plenty of people make it big in the industry. Outside of the time he slept with Ricque’s girl, he always put other’s needs before his own. He did everything to build his community. He made sure everyone he met wanted for nothing. From the moment Ricque gave Saint the keys to his father’s kingdom, Saint made sure his brother got everywhere safely. Ricque’s bodyguards were fired by Saint and replaced with Saint’s ruthless bodyguards. Saint would kill for who he loved. And Saint loved Ricque, even though he was jealous of him.