I Got You | A Gay Romance: A Boyfriend for Rent Book | Gay For You (18 page)

Why was his heart pounding in his throat? He was about to hang up after the fourth ring when there was an answer.

"Yeah?" Benjamin answered, sounding distracted.

Jake smiled. The sound of his voice was exactly what he needed to hear. His mind flowed to what a magical time they’d had last night.  He had butterflies in his stomach. No one else did that to him. "Hey, uh, good morning."

"Who's this?"

"Jake," he answered, biting the inside of his cheek in frustration.
Seriously? He didn’t recognize my voice? Was he joking? How many other guys were calling him?
Jake tried not to let his insecurities eat at him, but he couldn’t help himself.

"Oh, hey
—
I can't really talk right now. Did you get my note? I'm with my son."

He was irritated. Jake hadn’t meant to do that to him. Maybe Benjamin just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Jake took a deep breath, calming himself. "Sure. Sorry, I just wanted to thank you about
—
"

"Yeah, now's not a good time, dude. Tomorrow, right? 6:45pm. Don’t be late."

Dude?
Jake paused for a second. Why was this so transactional? "Sure, yeah."

"Cool. A lot of work for you to finish up." He was out of breath.

Jake cleared his throat, pushing aside his sensitivity. "No problem, I'll be
—
"

Benjamin’s voice was gruff. "Gotta go. See ya."

Before Jake could answer, Benjamin hung up, leaving him with nothing but dead air. It was so cold and distant. Not that he needed a full on conversation, but with what they’d shared together last night, he expected more. He tried not to let it bother him. His step-brother was probably busy, he made it clear from the note, but Jake couldn't help but feel dismissed like yesterday's trash. A feeling he'd experienced from men in the past.

He thought they'd shared something special and meaningful last night. He'd opened up to Benjamin about things he'd never really told anyone but Alberto before and he thought that Benjamin felt the same. Now, he wasn't so sure. It kind of broke his heart.

CHAPTER 29

Jake paced back and forth that next evening. He feet crunched into the gravel driveway that lead up to the gym. It was completely closed up, dark as night, which was strange in itself. Benjamin pretty much lived at the place when the two of them were not together training or hanging out. He glanced at his cell phone 7:18pm.

He was fucking late. Not like him at all.

Maybe he should just get back on his bicycle and ride away. He wondered if Benjamin was standing him up or something. It only played into how insecure he felt already. He'd spent half the night awake, thinking and rethinking about what happened yesterday, wondering if there was something he could have done differently. Maybe he scared him off. He thought they had a great time in bed or maybe he just wasn't that great at sex. He thought he did a great job. Benjamin enjoyed it or at least he said he did. Jake had the habit of hooking up with guys that were sexually unsatisfied and unfaithful. No matter what he did for them, no matter how uncomfortable he was going way beyond his comfort zone, it never enough. One of the last guys he was with picked up some trick at a bar right in front of him when they were supposed to go out for a good time. Without discussing it with Jake first, the guy brought the trick home expecting them to have a threesome. When Jake said he didn't want to, the man shut the door so he and the trick could be alone.

It crushed Jake to think about it. That set off a string of fly-by-night guys that Jake had high hopes for, but barely stayed the night, let alone the rest of his life. That's all Jake really wanted, just one special guy to hold on to, someone who would stay and be faithful to him. Someone who would have his back, someone he could tell anything to and support him. Maybe he was asking for too much. Maybe he was crazy to think that person could possibly be Benjamin, his own step-brother. It’s just he felt such a connection to him. He thought they were in this whole predicament together. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

"Didn't I see you at Benjamin’s apartment?" a voice behind him said.  It was Benjamin's ex, and his heart stopped. He squeezed his hand, not knowing where to put them in order not to look as nervous and unsettled as he was. He'd been so preoccupied with feeling sorry for himself that he hadn't even noticed her black Mercedes pulling up.

"Uh," he said, wondering what to say. "Yeah. Christina, right?"

"Yes, as a matter fact I am," she said, approaching him with a smile. "Has anyone ever told you you're cute?"

Jake blushed. "Thanks."

"Really, you are. If I was single ..." she sang, biting her lip seductively. She really was a gorgeous woman, curves in all the right places. If he was single and straight, he might go for her but something about her personality rubbed him the wrong way.

Jake didn't know how to answer that anyway. He didn't know how to respond to any compliment really. It was rare that he got one.

"You know, I know just the girl for you," she said, batting her eyelashes at him.

He cleared his throat and flashed a smile. "Girl? Oh, I
—
that's really sweet of you but
—
"

She cut him off. "You're taken, aren't you?"

What to say? What to say?
His mind went in circles. "I ... yeah, I'm kind of seeing someone."

She squeezed his hand flirtatiously. "Kind of? Well, either you are or you're not. Which is it?"

Jake smiled back. "Wish I knew."

The last thing he wanted to do was get into an in-depth conversation about his budding relationship with a perfect stranger, let alone her. It was times like this that he wished Alberto would just wake up. He was the only one that would understand this whole predicament.

"And that smile of yours. Well, whoever this lucky gal is tell her to ‘shit or get off the pot’. There's a lot of women that would snap you up in a second, so polite and classy. You dress well, too. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were gay!"

Jake laughed it off before he blushed and gave it away. She laughed at her own joke then said, "Thank God. Ugh. The thought of two men together, that’s so disgusting. They should just round all those perverts up and lock them up on an island and just get rid of them once in for all, right?"

Jake burned with anger. His jaw clenched and he kept his nose from flaring. Saying that about him was one thing, but it was people like her that caused his best friend to be in the hospital and him to have to hide who he was. He controlled his temper, if only for Benjamin's sake.

She slipped her tongue for a second like a serpent testing the waters. "So, how long have you known Benjamin?"

He didn’t want to let on that they were close or anything. Last thing he needed was Benjamin’s ex becoming suspicious about the two of them and word getting out to the small town or worse yet, his family. "Oh, not long, a few weeks."

"Yeah? Huh ..." she said as if she were thinking something.

He arched his eyebrows in concern. "Why do you ask?"

She sighed. "Oh, nothing.  It's just ... he's not ... I'm glad you're just working for him, not friends or anything."

"Why do you say that?" he asked. Her line of questioning was peculiar as if she wanted to say something. But he had to know. He had to know if everything he was feeling was validating or if he was bat shit crazy. He stuck his hands in his pockets, clearing his throat, acting like it was no big deal.

Whatever she had to say was making her uncomfortable. She stepped closer to her as if to keep their conversation between the two of them. "He's just ... I'm sure you think he's a great guy but, he doesn't let many people get close to him and those he does, he has a tendency to mistreat them. Then he tosses them aside."

"Oh," Jake said, not knowing if he should defend Benjamin or admit to himself that it was what he was worried about.

"Yeah, my advice? Keep it professional. Do what he needs you to do for him and then get the hell out of his life while you still can."

She looked him straight in the eye, the warning lingering in the air.

CHAPTER 30

"Hey," Benjamin said, pulling up in his truck and honking. "Sorry I'm late.  Cody wanted ice cream."

"Hi, mommy!" Cody said, opening the door himself and hopping down from the truck like an old pro. “Hi, Uncle Jake!”

"Hey butterball!" she said, stretching her arms out to scoop up her son.  “Uncle Jake?”

“Just trying to teach him some respect,” Benjamin said. His eyes met Jake’s for a second and Jake couldn't tell if he was uncomfortable that he was there or what.

"Thanks for meeting me here," he said, changing the subject. "See him again next weekend?"

She dusted off imaginary dust from her blouse. "Yeah, well ... we'll see Benjamin. I'll let you know."

He rolled his neck from side to side as if he were trying to control his temper in front of his son. "But we talked about this, Christina."

"Like I said, we'll see. What's Jake doing here anyway?"

He cleared his throat. "Huh?"

She tried to say it quietly, but Jake heard it just the same. "Jake, what's he doing here?"

He wiped the sweat from his brow. "Oh, I've got some stuff he needs to fix around here too. What’s it to you?"

"Well, it's about time. Last time I was in there, it looked like a dump." She turned toward Jake. "Seems like you're real good for Benny. He might learn a thing or two from you."

“Goodbye, Christina,” Benjamin said. “Bye, son.”

Jake conjured up a smile. Right now, he didn't even know where he stood with Benjamin.

She shot him a flirtatious wink. "Well, see you later cutie. Remember, if you're looking for someone new, get a hold of me."

Jake didn’t know if she was doing that just to get under Benjamin’s skin or if she was sincerely flirting. Right now, he didn’t care. He had more important matters to attend to. Benjamin rolled his eyes. Jake waved her and Cody away and Benjamin waved his son off, then, walked right past Jake barely looking at him as he unlocked the door. Not even a "What's up?"

With just the jangle of the keys and the creak of the door, he pushed it open.

Benjamin flipped on the lights and kept walking. It was silent with the exception of only the buzzing sound of the swinging neon lights above. Benjamin cleared his throat. "So, you can start cleaning out the storage and lining up the
—
"

"Wait," Jake heard himself say.

"What?" Benjamin answered, turning around.

"So ... are we cool?" Jake asked, not sure what to do with his hands as he wore his heart on his sleeve.

"What do you mean?" Benjamin asked.
What did he mean?
Really?
As if nothing happened last night. The sentiment hurt and it made Jake feel like yesterday's trash.

"I just thought that ... you were mad at me or something?" Jake said, not sure exactly how to put it. How do you say to the guy you thought you saw a future with that you feel discarded? A man that wasn’t used to expressing his feelings as well as he could.

"About what?" Benjamin asked.

This was driving him crazy. It was like pulling teeth trying to get Benjamin to respond the way he wanted him to and he wasn't even sure exactly what he wanted. Maybe he wanted him to take him in his arms and tell him everything was alright, that he had a lot on his mind, that the whole situation was confusing, but now seeing him, all was clear. Maybe he wanted to hear that the more Benjamin thought about it, he was now ready for them to progress with their relationship. Maybe he wanted him to say that he was special, that he was different, that he'd never met anyone quite like him. Maybe he needed to hear that Benjamin wasn't going to just toss him aside like his ex-girlfriend had warned him about and that things were different and special between them.

“Anyway, you better get to work,” Benjamin said.

Jake shook his head.
Fuck it.
"Nevermind."

"Oh, you mean about what we did?" Benjamin mumbled as if it were a passing thought. Ding-ding-ding! "No, it was cool. Glad we got it out of our system."

"Out of our system?"
Jesus.
Did he really just say that? So, that was it? They weren’t going to do anything else together anymore?

He shrugged. "Yeah, you were horny, I was horny. I got off, you got off. It was good."

"Good?" Jake didn't even know how to respond. He made it sound so transactional and to him it was a night to remember.

Maybe he really was bad at sex and Benjamin just didn't want to hurt his feelings. His past bad experiences with other men flooded his mind. He felt the pain of each one of them all at once and now, he could add this one, the one that meant the most to him to the pile.