I Hope You Find Me (17 page)

Connor trailed close behind me as we left the
freeway and turned north onto Sunrise Highway. At first the road
was clear, but after a few turns we slowed to barely a crawl to
negotiate around various sized boulders that had fallen down from
the hillsides and dried mud. Branches and tumbleweeds littered the
asphalt which proved the weather had been unrelenting to the area,
but the roads were still passable. I knew the route well and
cautiously followed the curves of the road that led to the Mt.
Laguna Fire Station. It was late in the afternoon, and the tall
pine trees filtered out most of the sunlight which cast long,
scraggy shadows across the road.

By dusk we pulled into the large space next
to the station and parked. The lot was empty and the building
looked dark and still inside. I climbed out of the Jeep and stood
next to it while I stretched my back. Zoey ran excitedly through
the lot, sniffing everything in sight as Connor climbed out of the
heavy duty truck, flexing and stretching his arms.

“That was a long drive.” He took in the
surroundings.

“Yeah, well normally it doesn’t take that
long.” I smiled at him.

“It’s a good thing the truck already had a
full tank of gas.” He gestured at the Jeep. “What about you?”

“I’m just under half a tank.” I looked around
at the dark woods. I had pulled my sweatshirt on before stepping
out into the cooler mountain air. I was worried we wouldn’t have
shelter for the night if we didn’t hurry at the station.

“So, what are your plans, exactly?” Connor
asked me as we stood before the closed station door.

“Let’s see what’s inside first.”

The trees tightened around us as the sun sank
closer to the coast. It was hard to make out the shapes inside with
night falling, but I could see couches, a table and shelving
inside. I turned the knob and the door opened, releasing the
trapped stale air from the room. We hollered out a hello or two
before entering the building. Connor flipped a switch and an
overhead light twinkled above us, which meant the sensor had been
tripped when the power went out, turning the generator on. The room
consisted of a lounging area, two sets of bunk beds and an open
kitchen. A closed door led out into the empty garage, another
opened up into a large bathroom. I began setting up one of the
walkie-talkies on the kitchen counter while Connor investigated the
station radios.

“All I can hear is static,” Connor said, as
he flipped through channels.

“You know what’s interesting? All the trucks
are gone, the garage is empty.” I said to him.

Connor wandered around the room, and after
disappearing into the bathroom I heard a loud flush through the
open door.

“Toilet works!” He shouted. A few seconds
later I heard a loud squeak and then the sudden rush of water.
“Shower works too!”

When he came back out into the main room I
was facing one of the walls, looking at the framed photos of a
massive fire and other shots of the firefighters in gear, posing in
front of their trucks or dragging hoses behind them. Wherever their
last call came from, it seemed they hadn’t returned and an
overwhelming sense of guilt washed over me as I looked from one
photo to the next. These people were supposed to be the strongest,
the bravest of all, and yet someone like me - a former single mom
and 3rd grade teacher, survived. It wasn’t fair. I turned away from
the wall with an angry expression on my face and Connor stepped
away from me.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing. It’s just upsetting that this place
is empty. I was hoping someone would be here,” I answered. Wind
whirled through the open door, whipping my hair around my face. I
smoothed my pony-tail back and squared my shoulders.

“I don’t think anyone has been here for
weeks.” He stepped closer and hugged me to him. “Why don’t we stay
here tonight?”

“Here?” I asked as I looked into his
face.

“Why not? We don’t know what we’ll find at
this lodge of yours. At least here we’re inside, there’s power and
cots. We can leave first thing in the morning if you want.” He kept
his arms around my back as he waited for my answer.

“You’re right. It doesn’t make sense to drive
over there in the dark.” I smiled at him and we both looked
outside. The only thing I could make out clearly through the large
window was the outline of each of our vehicles. The lot was almost
completely shrouded in darkness; even the trees blended into the
night.

“You know, a few years ago I got my car stuck
in the mud out here with a friend. It took us nearly an hour to
walk back to the highway from a little mountain road we were
exploring. We were freezing and thought we might have to stand on
the side of the road for hours while we waited for a friend to pick
us up.” Connor leaned gently into me while he listened to my story.
“We flagged a car down, since cell phone reception was sketchy, and
asked the driver to send the nearest Ranger to wait with us. A fire
truck came down the mountain instead. I was mortified, totally
embarrassed, but the guys were great. They brought us back here,
gave us coffee and made sure we were warm.” I swallowed hard and
pulled away from Connor’s grip so that I could look behind me at
the wall of framed faces. “I still remember their names…Ty, Joe and
Joel. I wonder where they are now.”

It seemed every memory of every person I knew
was stained with an overwhelming feeling of guilt that I had
survived this global viral killer and they hadn’t. I closed my eyes
and images of friends, family, coworkers, students, neighbors and
even grocery tellers started flashing through my mind like an
old-fashioned flip book. I opened my eyes and rubbed the back of my
neck before one of those images became my daughter or son. Connor
stood awkwardly before me, his hands shoved deeply into his jean
pockets, waiting for me to speak.

“Let’s bring some things inside before it
gets too cold,” I suggested. He nodded at me silently.

Later, I offered to make dinner while Connor
showered. Zoey was passed out on one of the couches, and by the
time Connor re-emerged from the bathroom I had thrown together a
modest meal for all three of us. After we ate, Connor turned the
big screen T.V. on and put in a DVD and both of us fell asleep on
the couch half-way through the movie.

***

At first I thought I was dreaming as the
voices of Rob Schneider and Adam Sandler bantered loudly with each
other from somewhere nearby, until I felt my shoulders gently
shaking and my head lolled to the side. My eyes snapped open and I
sat upright so quickly that my forehead struck Connor’s chin.

“Ouch!” He leaned away from me, holding his
hand to his mouth.

“I’m sorry! Was I asleep?” I rubbed above my
eyebrows where my head collided into Connor’s.

“I nearly bit a hole through my tongue.” He
laughed and stood up from the couch, turning off the T.V. “Didn’t
mean to startle you, I was trying to wake you, thought you might
want to sleep on the bed.” He stretched backwards slightly, with
his hands on his hips and glanced down at me. “I’d offer to help
you up, but I’m afraid you might punch me in the nose next.” He
smiled at me.

I laughed and apologized again while I stood
up to copy his stretch. Connor walked around the room, shutting off
the few lights we had turned on. By the time he made his way to the
beds I had claimed one of the lower bunks, and was already curled
up under the covers half-asleep. Zoey cuddled herself up around my
feet and sighed deeply.

Beneath the blankets I felt warm and
comfortable but outside the breeze whistled through the trees and
around the doors, threatening to force the cold air inside. The
front window shook in its frame as the wind pulsated against the
single paned glass.

“Good night,” I murmured.

“G’night,” Connor replied softly. I felt the
slightest whisper of his lips graze along my cheek before Connor’s
mattress squeaked beneath him as he settled into his bunk.

I sleepily punched the lumps out of my pillow
and opened my eyes just enough to see the edge of the covers so I
could tug them up to my neck. Something on the far side of the room
caught my eye and I looked up to see the inky shadow of a man
standing in the corner facing us. My breath stilled in my chest as
I blinked, hoping the figure was a figment of my over-worked mind.
But as my eyes adjusted, I could make out the standard issue
over-sized fire protective pants with the reflective strip around
the ankles, a long sleeved dark top and a dark knit cap on the
man’s head. I stared at him wide-eyed, and jumped when Zoey let out
a long whimper in her sleep. I broke my gaze from the fire fighter
and glanced quickly down at the dog but when I looked back up, the
room was empty…the corner uninhabited of dark shadowy figures.

There was nowhere for a man to go in merely
two seconds time. The only explanation was one I didn’t want to
consider. What I saw hovering in the corner wasn’t a man at all. At
least, it wasn’t a man
anymore
…but an apparition. I lowered
my head onto my pillow and let my breath out nervously. I could
hear the change in Connor’s breathing, which meant he was asleep,
and the dog was snoring softly beside me but I lay rigid…paralyzed
in the bed, with only my eyes moving from one object to another,
peering into each dark crevice until my head hurt. When I couldn’t
force my eyelids open any longer, I drifted into a restless
sleep.

In the early hours of dawn I woke before
Connor, my back cramped from sleeping in a tight ball, my arms numb
from spending hours crossed tightly at my chest. I was facing the
corner of the room the man had been standing in the night before
but with the morning light it simply looked like two white walls
meeting together, a normal corner. Nothing more, nothing less, and
surely nothing sinister stood before me.

It wasn’t until we had packed up our things
and began to leave the station later in the morning that I walked
by that corner on the way out the front door. Connor led the way,
with Zoey rushing outdoors ahead of us. As I walked through the
doorway I looked down at the floor, and there in the corner, were
two dirty boot impressions facing the sleeping area. I felt the
blood drain from my face as I slammed the door shut behind me and I
turned around to quickly read the message I had taped to the inside
of the glass window.

1/15

We made it in one piece! I left a long range
radio on the counter. It should be charged, but if you need more
juice the station has a generator. We’ll be listening for you every
night at sunset on channel 7. Call and you’ll find me. – Riley

CHAPTER ELEVEN

We left the station the way it was when we
arrived. The temperature was slowly rising with the sun but it was
still cold enough to stay bundled up in our coats. I turned onto
the highway ahead of Connor and watched in the mirror as his truck
pulled out behind me. The lodge was less than five miles ahead of
us but I kept a slow pace, unsure of when the resort would come
into view.

In my mind, I replayed the message we had
left at the station. Our goal was to keep the lodge location
private, and if, by some slim chance, someone followed my messages,
we would be able to choose who to disclose our exact location to.
It seemed like a good plan but the further away we got from the
station, the more nervous I became.

With just a few more miles to go, I told
myself that leaving the city was the right choice. We should be
safer in the mountains, away from strangers and the…unknown, and we
had enough resources to last a while. Plus, we had the option of
going back to Alpine or further north into Julian for more when we
ran out. I was anxious and excited when I saw the sign that said
Big Laguna Hideaway Lodge, One Mile
and I tapped my breaks
to warn Connor that I was slowing down.

The fresh morning sunlight broke through the
tree line as we turned down the gravel road that had the lodge’s
name printed in bold, white letters on a wooden sign and then we
passed through an open metal gate. While we slowly eased the
vehicles down the gravel road, a solid shape began to appear
through the trees ahead of us.

After passing through a dense grove of tall
pines, we followed the driveway around a giant oak tree and our
headlights flashed across a modern, cabin-styled structure. The
grandiose building that stood before us was flanked by massive pine
trees and an uneven row of short Manzanita’s that lined the
building. The lodge fit so well between the trees that I wondered
if it had sprouted from the ground as a seed itself. I parked in
front of the entryway steps and jumped out of the Jeep. Connor
stood beside me as I took in the rectangular shape of the stylish
building with anticipation.

Movement from the second story caught my eye.
One of the sheer curtains fluttered slightly behind a closed window
and I inched closer to Connor before whispering, “
I don’t think
we’re alone.
”

***

A high-pitched screech reverberated through
the tall trees around us, followed by a muffled fluttering sound. I
looked into the sky just in time to catch a glimpse of an owl
flying overhead. I leaned down and clicked Zoey’s leash into her
collar without taking my eyes off the dark shadow as it circled us
once before it flew into the cover of the forest. I doubted it was
considering the dog for dinner, she was more than three times the
bird’s weight, but owls weren’t the only thing to worry about in
the country.

I shuffled my feet nervously as Connor
gestured at the lodge door. It was a massive, wooden plank framed
by two narrow windows. I made no attempt to leave the driveway and
go up to it. Connor sensed my hesitation and started up the walkway
first, glancing over his shoulder at me as he slowly went up the
steps. The sunlight cast a shadow on his face that made his square
jaw more angular, and the circles under his eyes more pronounced.
But still, Early Morning Connor mixed with Mountain Man Connor took
my breath away.