I Know I've Been Changed (24 page)
Read I Know I've Been Changed Online
Authors: Reshonda Tate Billingsley
Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Literary, #Romance, #Christian
Epilogue
“T
hat’s it for our news tonight. Thank you for being with us. From all of us here at KLMD, have a great night.” I smiled genuinely at the camera as the director faded to black.
I got up from the set. “Good job tonight, Jack,” I said. “You really handled that technical glitch well.”
“That’s because I’m working with such a pro,” Jack, the technical director, said. “Have a good night.”
I bid Jack and the rest of the studio crew good-night and walked over to where Shereen was sitting. Her mouth gaped open. “I think I’m in the twilight zone. I mean, I don’t know what is more shocking, you working in this hick town or you being nice to people.”
I laughed and motioned for her to follow me. “Girl, this is the new and improved Raedella Rollins.”
“And what’s up with this country-ass name?”
I shrugged. “That’s my name.”
Shereen shook her head in amazement. “This is unbelievable. What was wrong with just
Rae
?”
“
Rae
was created to get me out of here. I’m not running anymore so I can go back to the name I was born with.” I grinned at her awe. “Come on, follow me over here to my desk.”
“Desk? You don’t have an office?”
“Please, this is market number 198. An office is a luxury we don’t get around here.”
I smiled as Shereen continued to walk beside me, shaking her head. I had persuaded her to come visit me in Sweet Poke. Tomorrow would mark one year back home for me, and from the looks of things, I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
“What is with this new attitude?” Shereen asked.
“You know, Shereen, losing everything that mattered to me was the most humbling experience of my life, but one I guess was necessary to get my life back on track.”
Shereen was still having a hard time taking everything in. “So, what do you do around here when you’re not at work? I know you ain’t dating nobody around here.”
“Hardly. Mama Tee has been trying to get me to date, fixing me up with Deacon Baird’s son, a minister. But he wasn’t my type. Nice guy, just something about being a preacher’s woman didn’t set right with me.” I sat down at my desk.
“Besides, I’m not ready to date. I’m busy getting myself together. I pray a lot. Go to church every Sunday.”
Shereen started coughing like she was choking to death. “Very funny,” I said. “Yes, I have a wonderful relationship with God.” I ignored her stares. “I had to confront my demons so that I can heal. I feel like a totally new person. I guess in a way I am. I’m getting to know Raedella first. Plus, I’ve established a relationship with an eight-year-old from across the tracks. Her mother abandoned her, too, and I have sort of become a big sister to her.”
I smiled as I thought of Daysia. She was a joy to be around. It was funny; Shondella actually put me in touch with her, saying something about us being kindred spirits.
“Speaking of sisters, how are things with yours?” Shereen said as she leaned back in amazement.
“Things are so-so with us. We have our days, but for the most part, we act like sisters should.”
“What about your mom?”
“Rose? She’s still trying. She says she will never give up. I told her to save her energy, but deep down, I am kind of moved by her relentless efforts. Who knows what will happen with that? I have to admit though, her spending time with Justin has boosted his spirits, and that is having a wonderful effect on his recovery.”
“Tell me again why you’re working here?” Shereen leaned onto my desk.
“Linda retired and it’s a job. Gotta pay the bills.”
“What, you gotta pay for chicken feed?”
“Don’t hate. Appreciate.”
Shereen threw up her arms. “I don’t believe this. You’re even saying those old country, sayings, too. Good grief, you know you’ve changed.”
“Yep, I know I’ve been changed,” I responded with a smile.
“Oh, Lord, don’t tell me you gon’ burst out in a Negro spiritual?”
I laughed. “No, it’s just that I’m happy. For once in my life I’m truly happy with myself.”
“I guess,” Shereen said, shaking her head.
“Not I guess. I know.”
“It’s just…this place…it’s so…it’s so…country.”
“I guess you can take the girl out of the country…but you can’t take the country out of the girl.” We both laughed at that. Because now, more than ever, I knew just how true that was.
Reading Group Guide for
I Know I’ve Been Changed
Description:
In just seven years, Raedella Rollins has reinvented herself from a small-town girl into the star news anchor at a Houston television station. When she left behind her hometown of Sweet Poke, Arkansas, she also left behind her family and all their embarrassing foibles. In Houston, her new friends and colleagues know her as the girl who has it all: fame, fortune, and the man of her dreams. Then everything changes when Raedella’s eccentric relatives show up in Houston, and her carefully constructed world starts to crumble. But when everyone deserts her, Raedella finally realizes that no matter how wacky or bizarre, she’s only got one family, and family is the only thing that counts.
Questions for Discussion
1.
Describe Raedella at the beginning of the novel. What kind of person is she? How sympathetic are you toward her in the first few chapters? Is she a likable character?
2.
As Raedella waits to board the bus that will take her away from Sweet Poke, her ex-boyfriend Reno tells her, “Sweet Poke is where you belong…you can’t run from it, it’s in your blood.” How does Raedella’s past in Sweet Poke affect the life she leads as Rae Rollins, television star, in Houston?
3.
Discuss Raedella’s relationship with Myles. What is your first impression of Myles? Does this impression change as the story unfolds? What are the first indications that Myles may not be what he appears?
4.
After learning from Mama Tee that Justin is back in the hospital, Raedella must quickly compose herself and go on the air. “If there was one thing I was good at, it was that—shaking everything off and putting on my TV face.” Why is Raedella so successful as an anchor and talk show host? Discuss the relationship between image and reality in Raedella’s life in Houston.
5.
Though a relatively minor character, Raedella’s friend Shereen plays a major role in the story. What impact does Shereen have on Raedella’s transformation?
6.
Discuss Raedella and Shondella’s relationship. What are the origins of the conflict between them? In spite of the obvious differences, do you see any similarities between the two sisters?
7.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Raedella explains in the prologue, “I haven’t completely stopped believing in God—I just don’t think he makes frequent stops in Sweet Poke. If he did, everyone there wouldn’t lead such miserable lives.” How does Raedella’s relationship to God change as the story progresses? Identify three turning points in her spiritual transformation.
8.
Relationships between mothers and daughters play a central role in
I Know I’ve Been Changed.
Discuss the many different versions of the mother-daughter relationship portrayed in the book, and the impact of these relationships on the central characters.
9.
At the end of the book, Raedella is living in Sweet Poke and working at the local television station. She is still single, and still working out her relationships with Rose and Shondella, and it is unclear what will come next for her. Why do you think the novel ends this way, rather than with a more conventional “happy ending”?
10.
Why does ReShonda Tate Billingsley choose to wait until the last chapters of
I Know I’ve Been Changed
to reveal the details of Jasmine’s death? Why do you think Raedella remains silent about it for so long?
Questions for the Author
1.
How did the character of Raedella Rollins take shape in your imagination? Did you conceive of her all at once—her history, her emotional transformation, etc.—or did she develop as you were writing the book?
2.
Writers sometimes talk about their characters taking on “a life of their own.” Did Raedella ever do something that surprised you?
3.
How do you balance your life as a reporter with your work as a writer of fiction? Are these entirely separate activities for you, or do they somehow interconnect?
4.
Which aspects of your own experience did you draw on to write
I Know I’ve Been Changed?
How much do you identify or not identify with Raedella?
5.
In some ways,
I Know I’ve Been Changed
reads like a fairy tale in reverse. Raedella’s dream job, dream marriage, and dream life dissolve, leaving her to confront realities that she has long denied. Do you see your writing as a critique of “fairy tale endings,” or of fantasy in general?
6.
The Reverend Simon Jackson and his daughter, Rachel, characters from your previous book,
Let the Church Say Amen,
make a brief appearance in
I Know I’ve Been Changed
. Do you see a connection between the two books?
7.
In your vision of the book, what role does God play in Raedella’s transformation?
8.
At the beginning of the book, Raedella is not a particularly nice person, and yet we care what happens to her. How did you manage to create a deeply flawed character who we still feel is redeemable? How sympathetic were you toward Raedella at the beginning of the book?
Activities to Enhance Your Book Club
1.
Invite each member of your group to share a memory or artifact from his or her hometown. Give members a few minutes each to talk about where they come from, and how it has impacted who they are today.
2.
Hold your discussion on
I Know I’ve Been Changed
over a soul food dinner. For recipe ideas, go to
http://www.soulfoodcookbook.com/
or check out
Real Men Cook,
published by Simon & Schuster/Fireside Books.
3.
Celebrate the spirit of Raedella’s acceptance of her difficult past by asking each member of the group to share a humorous but embarrassing detail from her past. Examples may include everything from photos from an awkward age to stories about relatives’ embarrassing behavior.
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