I See You (21 page)

A portly black man in a SEPTA uniform shook his head and roughly pulled the woman with the shopping bag back and away from the edge of the platform.

He’s gonna let me die, Hannah thought.

Then the man looked Hannah in the eyes. Through the deafening cacophony he was speaking to her. What was he saying? It was impossible to hear his words above the din. He pointed toward the ladder at the far end of the platform. Hannah stared at him, her eyes wide with terror.

‘Run,’ he said.

Somehow, despite the terror, the noise and her own confusion, she heard it. Run? she thought. She must have mouthed the question. The SEPTA conductor held her gaze calmly, and nodded emphatically, pointing again, toward the end of the platform. Run? Outrun the train? That was ridiculous. Impossible.

For a second she could not move. Would not. And then, in a flash, she understood. He was telling her that this was her only chance. And he would know. There was no other chance. Somehow, it registered. She started to move. To do what he said. To run. She started slowly, and then she was running. She ran for her life, stumbling over the stones between the ties, weeping. It felt as if the whole world was shuddering with the approaching train. She thought of Adam, and Sydney. Briefly, she thought of Lisa and her heart ached for all the loss. She remembered the rat, and then, she remembered the ladder.

The train was roaring into the station, the brakes screaming. Hannah was at the ladder, grabbing the rail, pulling herself up. The train struck her.

S
he woke up in a dimly lit room, her head pounding. She reached up and gingerly touched her head, which was swathed in bandages. Then she tried to sit up and felt pain burst like fireworks all through her body. She was wearing a thin hospital gown, and there were bandages wrapped around her torso. Her other arm was in a cast. There was a searing pain in her leg that seemed to radiate upwards, through her body and out the top of her head.

For a second she could not remember how she got here or how she became so badly injured. Then, suddenly, it came back to her. The shrieking whistle, the yellow orb of light hurtling toward her in the dark tunnel. The shove from behind. Hannah felt tears start to trickle down her face and she gasped for breath.

Alive, she thought. I’m alive. Thank you, God. Thank you.

Her very next thought was of Adam. Did he know she was alive? Did he know she was even here?

Before the thought had actually formed clearly in her mind, the door to the room opened, and he walked in, the man she had been married to for over half her lifetime. His shoulders were rounded, his back bent, as if he were carrying a bundle of bricks on his broad back. His eyes were downcast.

‘Hey,’ she whispered.

He froze and looked up. His gaze met hers. It was like watching daybreak in a time-lapse photo. His frown cleared, his eyes widened, and a smile, at first tentative, and then joyous broke across his face. ‘Babe!’ he cried.

Hannah tried to nod. Her lips were dry as parchment. He rushed to her bedside and tried to grab her up in a hug.

‘No,’ she laughed. ‘Don’t. That hurts.’

Reluctantly he loosened his grip. He was shaking. Gently, she ran her good hand over his bent head. After a minute he raised his head and looked into her eyes. Their gaze was long and silent. I thought I lost you, each one said, without words. I was so afraid.

Hannah closed her eyes. All that she felt for him was almost too painful to endure. She felt his gentle healing kiss on her face. Then, suddenly, he moved away from her. She opened her eyes to see where he went. He pulled a chair close to her bed, and they gripped hands.

Adam shook his head. ‘When they called and said that you’d been hit by a subway train …’

Hannah sighed. ‘I know. I thought I was dead,’ she said. ‘I should be dead.’

Adam frowned. ‘A lot of people saw it happen. Apparently, someone pushed you onto the tracks.’

‘Yes. Did they catch the guy who did it?’ she asked.

Adam shook his head. ‘Not yet. No one seemed to get a good look.’

‘I really can’t remember it happening. I just remember landing on the tracks, completely stunned. The train was coming.’

Adam grimaced. ‘How did you …?’

‘There was a guy from SEPTA on the platform. Everyone else was screaming. Shrieking. The train was roaring in. The noise was deafening. But this guy … he just looked me in the eye and told me to run. And somehow, it registered. Somehow I heard him.’

‘Run?’ Adam cried. ‘How can you outrun a train?’

Hannah lifted her broken arm with a wry smile. ‘You can’t.’

‘They said it saved your life, though. The driver was trying to stop the train. The fact that you had reached the end of the platform, and grabbed onto the ladder, kept it from … you know.’

‘Flattening me,’ said Hannah. ‘Killing me. I know. Honey, give me some water?’

Adam quickly found a cup of water and a straw, and put the straw in her mouth.

Hannah sipped, and felt like it was her first drink of water on earth. ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I’ll tell you. The man was telling me to run, and everything in me was thinking that it was the worst idea in the world, and yet, I could hear his voice in my ear, like the voice of God. I remember thinking, he’s a SEPTA guy. He probably knows what to do. And then I did what he said.’

‘Thank God,’ Adam said.

Hannah shook her head. ‘I don’t remember being hit. It’s just a blank.’ She looked around. ‘Where is Sydney?’

‘With Kiyanna and Frank.’

‘Oh, good,’ she said.

‘They’ve been great. They’ve really helped me out. She’s very confused and upset. She’s been having nightmares. Just awful.’

‘Poor baby. Oh, poor thing. How long have I been here? What’s wrong with me. I mean, these injuries …?’

Adam sighed. ‘The accident happened three days ago. You have a mesh patch in your skull, because of the swelling from your brain. You have a broken arm. Your leg was lacerated and took fifty stitches to close.’

‘Wow,’ she said.

‘I almost lost you.’

Hannah smiled. ‘It’ll never happen.’

Adam smiled, and cupped her face with his hand. ‘I couldn’t stand that.’

‘I know. Me neither.’

They sat that way for a moment, unable to actually say all that they meant. They didn’t need to. Finally, Adam said, ‘There’s something we need to talk about. The police want to question you.’

‘Right now?’

‘When they find out you’re awake.’

‘OK.’

‘Hannah, listen,’ he said quietly. ‘When they question you, tell them you don’t want any pictures. Say you’re fearful of reprisal because they haven’t caught the guy yet. We don’t want your picture everywhere.’

‘You’re right,’ she said with a slight gasp. ‘That’s true. Our situation is still …’

‘Perilous,’ he said.

Hannah closed her eyes. ‘I won’t say anything.’

‘That’s my girl,’ he said. ‘Shall I bring Sydney up to see you later?’

‘Yes, please. If you don’t think it would be too much for her.’

‘I think it would do her good,’ Adam said.

‘I know it would do me good,’ said Hannah, smiling.

Adam sat beside her, squeezing her hand, and occasionally kissing her fingers. Then the door opened, and a nurse came in carrying a tray with a syringe.

‘You’re awake!’ the nurse cried.

Hannah nodded, and then looked at Adam. ‘How lucky am I?’ she said.

The nurse was quick to spread the word, and within an hour Hannah was visited by two doctors and a chaplain. Adam told his recovering wife that he was going to go and pick up Sydney and bring her to the hospital. Hannah allowed that this was the only reason she would let him out of her sight. They kissed tenderly before he left the room.

Hannah lay back against her pillow, exhausted. It was wonderful to know that she was going to live, but she still had a long way to go before she could even get up and out of this bed. She closed her eyes and, almost immediately, she was asleep.

A short time later, Hannah’s nap was disturbed by a knock at the door. Before she was fully awake and able to reply, it was pushed open by two men in jackets and ties.

‘Mrs Anna Whitman?’ asked the larger man. He had a deliberate, grave air about him.

‘Yes,’ she said.

The man nodded to his shorter, Asian-looking companion and then they both entered the room and stood beside her bed.

‘Mrs Whitman, my name is Detective O’Rourke. This is Detective Trahn. We need to talk to you about what happened in the subway.’

Hannah tried to force her fuzzy mind to focus. She was glad that Adam had reminded her of their situation. Lying in this anonymous bed, in a hospital gown, it was hard to even feel a sense of identity, never mind remember to hide the reality and stick with the story of their lives that they had created.

‘Yes,’ she murmured. ‘OK.’

‘Do you mind if we sit?’ asked O’Rourke.

Hannah shook her head, and O’Rourke nodded to Trahn, who pulled two chairs up beside the bed. The detectives sat down. O’Rourke set his briefcase on the floor beside him.

‘Now, tell us what happened as you remember it, Mrs Whitman.’

Hannah obediently recounted her descent into the subway, the various people on the platform, the sight of the approaching train, and then …

‘You don’t remember what happened?’ asked Trahn gently.

‘I really don’t,’ said Hannah.

‘Did you see who pushed you?’ asked O’Rourke.

‘No, sir,’ she said.

‘You just … felt yourself being pushed.’

Hannah nodded. ‘It was the strangest thing. If you’d told me this could happen, I wouldn’t really have believed it. I mean, I felt this jolt at the small of my back and then, nothing … I didn’t hear anything, I didn’t see anything. It’s all just a blank. How could you forget something like that?’

‘Actually that’s not uncommon,’ O’Rourke said reassuringly. ‘I’ve heard that from many trauma victims. The brain just shuts down for a few moments. Trying to protect you from a horrible reality, I guess.’

‘I guess,’ said Hannah.

‘So, you didn’t see who pushed you.’

Hannah shook her head.

‘The next thing you remember …?’

‘I was on the tracks. I remember a woman reached her hand out to me but I couldn’t get to it. Then I heard this man from SEPTA telling me to run. And I heard it, you know what I mean? I heard it. Above all the noise and the commotion, I heard his voice. And that’s what I did. I ran.’

O’Rourke nodded and consulted his notebook. ‘We have varying accounts from the witnesses on the platform,’ he said. ‘One thing they all agree on. Apparently you were pushed by a man in a hoody. Height, weight, all of that – no consistency. But they all remembered the hoody. And the dark glasses.’

‘No one stopped him? After it happened?’

O’Rourke sighed. ‘That’s to be expected. People were so freaked out. They were focused on you. And on that train roaring into the station.’

Hannah shuddered.

‘By all accounts he ran back up the steps and out of the station. So far, we have not apprehended him.’

Hannah sighed. ‘Well, I hope you do.’

‘We will,’ said Trahn grimly. ‘It’s just a matter of time. Now, while it seems most likely that this person is mentally ill, Mrs Whitman, and that you were a random victim, we have to ask you this. Is there any reason you can think of for why someone would do that to you?’

Hannah hesitated, and then she felt almost faint at the thought which swam, for the first time, into her head. Then she shook it off. ‘No,’ she said.

‘What about your marriage,’ said O’Rourke. ‘Have you and your husband been having any problems? Any reason why he might see himself as better off without you?’

‘
No
, Detective,’ said Hannah angrily. ‘Our marriage is stronger than … It’s as strong as can be. We’ve had our problems, like any marriage. We’ve been together for over twenty years. So, obviously, we’ve had problems, had things go wrong. But no. The short answer is no.’

O’Rourke exhaled a deep breath and nodded. ‘OK, Mrs Whitman. Now, we have here …’ He reached down into the briefcase on the floor beside him and brought out an iPad. ‘This is footage taken by a security camera in the subway. Now, you say you didn’t even see your attacker …’

‘I didn’t,’ Hannah insisted.

‘The whole thing is on this footage. It may be very distressing for you to view it.’

Hannah felt suddenly depressed. Distressing? To see yourself attacked out of the blue. Pushed in front of a train? Yes, that was distressing.

‘You look upset. Do you need us to wait on this until you’ve recovered a little more?’

Hannah shook her head and hesitated. Then she made up her mind. ‘No. He could be on another subway platform, right this very minute. Sizing up some other unsuspecting passenger. Let me see it. I want to see it.’

‘Very well,’ said O’Rourke. ‘I’m glad you feel that way. Trahn, can you work this damn thing for me,’ he said, offering the iPad to his partner.

‘Of course,’ said Trahn. He set the iPad up on the arm of the rolling tray table beside the bed, and swung it over in front of Hannah so that she could have a clear view. He turned on the iPad and some numbers came up on the screen. ‘Can you see it all right?’

Hannah nodded, looking at the screen in a kind of sick fascination. She began slowly to pick out some of the people she had seen on the platform. The school kids, the man in the tam, and she felt her heart jump with gratitude when she saw the woman who had reached out a hand to try to save her. She was standing on the platform, holding her shopping bag, conveying a sense of isolation that was calculated. Don’t talk to me, her body language said. Don’t get too close. But when the situation was desperate, that woman had offered her hand.

Then, with a jolt, Hannah saw herself coming through the turnstile, walking down the platform. Walking past that guy in the hoody slumped against the wall.

Was that him? she wondered. He looked so out of it.

She watched with a sickening fascination as she separated herself from the other passengers, and then froze as she saw something on the tracks. Now she remembered. That disgusting rat. The creature wasn’t visible in the video but her reaction to him was. She began to edge back toward the center of the platform. Toward her fellow passengers.

And then, though there was no sound, she could see the reaction of the others as the train approached. Every face turned in that direction, including her own.

Every face but one.

‘Now watch carefully,’ said Detective O’Rourke.

Suddenly, with a movement like lightning, the person in the hoody broke free from the crowd, was behind Hannah in a few steps, reached out and pushed.

Pushed her. Off the platform and onto the tracks. Hannah broke out in a sweat at the sight of it but she tried to concentrate. This is who they were looking for. This person in the hoody, who’d pushed her and turned away. As he turned, he faced the camera for a brief moment. Not long, but long enough.

‘I’m looking at your face, Mrs Whitman,’ said O’Rourke. ‘Do you see him? Is there any chance this is someone you recognize?’

Hannah was shaking her head from side to side as Trahn ran the sequence through again, and she covered her mouth with her fist to stifle a cry. This time she saw the hooded assailant get up from where he had been slumped against the wall. Rush up to her. Push her. Without hesitation. Push her onto the tracks.

‘I know it’s upsetting to watch. But try to think. Does he look familiar? Anything at all that you recognize about this person?’ O’Rourke asked.

‘Nothing. No,’ said Hannah.

Yes
, she thought.