If I Break THE COMPLETE SERIES Bundle (121 page)

Since we’ve been here she’s been distant and quiet. This is the first time I’ve ever had to flat out tell her a lie.

We both plastered smiles on our faces as we greet a bunch of people we don’t even fucking know. This was all Helen and Dexter’s idea. We shouldn’t even be here, but Lauren lit up at the idea of a big engagement party. Dex didn’t spare any expense, taking the title of best man and running with it. I can’t wait until I get to talk to him about his little game, sending Gwen the day of my engagement party.

“A toast, to an invaluable part of Crestfield Industries, my friend who I consider my family. Cal Scott and his beautiful future wife Lauren.” Everyone raises their glasses and toasts to us. She looks over at me and we kiss, but it’s different. There’s always been something behind it, pushing its way out of both of us, but right now it seems like she’s pulling instead of pushing. The applause roars throughout the room as glasses clink and pictures are taken. I don’t give a shit about any of it if Lauren isn’t feeling this. I lean over and whisper in her ear.

“Love you babe.” She smiles at me but it’s weak.

“I love you too.” It’s dry and half-hearted.

Before I can call her on it, Lauren’s aunt Raven and her best friends are near us.

“You look so beautiful honey,” her aunt says. “Cal, extremely dashing as always,” she adds, squeezing my shoulder. I wink at her and she blushes. If I didn’t know any better I’d swear this lady had a crush on me.

“How much did they drop on this? I feel like if I drop a plate I’d be out of a car,” Angela teases.

“What’s wrong L?” Hillary asks, eyeing me suspiciously. Hillary and I didn’t get off on the right foot but I like her now. She really loves Lauren and is protective of her; I can’t fault her for that even if she acts like a whore.

“Nothing, everything’s fine,” she replies meekly. Everything isn’t fine and I know exactly who’s to blame.

“I’m going to go talk to Dex,” I say, excusing myself and heading over to Dexter and Helen. I didn’t get a chance to really talk to him since Lauren and I arrived almost thirty minutes into the dinner.

“Excuse me,” Dex says to a flock of buzzards who are only here for a stab at his wallet. I throw my arm over his shoulder as a friendly gesture when I want to pull him into a choke hold.

“Talk to Gwen lately?” I ask, once we’re far enough away from the crowd.

“I did,” he says simply.

“What’d you tell her?” I ask, smiling tightly.

“I may have mentioned that I was attending your engagement dinner today.”

“What the fuck is your problem?” I say, crossing my arms to keep from punching him in the face.

“I didn’t know your engagement was confidential,” he retorts smugly.

“She could have told Lauren everything Dex, and now she thinks something is up. She’s distant at our fucking engagement party.”

“Well it’s about time,” he adds with a grin. I scowl at him.

“Tell her the truth,” he says, looking me squarely in the eye, “I don’t want this blowing up in our faces later.”

“Nothing’s going to blow up if you let me handle it. Helen and I are handling it, stop running your fucking mouth,” I warn him.

“I think you should consider whom you’re talking to Cal,” he says adjusting his cufflinks.

“The great Dexter Crestfield. I don’t give a shit. You’re supposed to be my friend, you’re not my mentor or my daddy.”

“Then stop acting like a child!” he says, stepping closer to me. I’m a little surprised.

“This can go very badly for all of us. You know who, is going to get involved then. I’m trying to keep him out of it,”

“I’m not afraid of your father,” I laugh.

“Well you should be.”

“Why would he care about who the hell I marry?”

“Because you’re adding another person to the equation who you have to trust.”

“She doesn’t know anything,” I retort.

“Which means that you don’t think that you can trust her. So, if you can’t trust her to even tell her the truth about yourself, can you trust her with anything else?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust her,” I sigh, running my hands over my face.

“I want her to love me for me,” I say quietly. “Not for who I was. Not for who everyone thinks I should be.”

“I don’t want her to look at me like I’m some broken man, the way everyone else does.”

“If she loves you, really loves you, she’ll understand,” he tells me squeezing my shoulder.

“If you don’t tell her, this is going to go bad. And I’m not going to fix any of it. You’re on your own.”

“The medicine’s working,” I tell him adamantly.

“So that’s what you’re placing all your cards on. A medicine that’s still under trial, that
you’re
the test subject for?” he asks.

“You bet on Helen, I’m betting on her too,” I retort. He shakes his head.

“Starting your marriage on secrets and lies doesn’t make for the most stable foundation,” he sighs.

“So that’s not what yours and Helen’s marriage is based on?” I laugh and he scoffs like he’s offended.

“Of course not. We have tons and secrets between us but they are not ours, only other peoples,” he says, squeezing my shoulder before walking away from me and back into the crowd.

I let out a deep groan. I don’t drink but I’ve never wanted a stiff drink more than I do right now. I glance at my watch, this is fucking boring. My life almost just fell apart and I need something to distract me, I need something to intoxicate me but it won’t be anything in a bottle, but a slinky little grey dress. I work my way through the crowd avoiding meaningless conversations with people I don’t even like. It takes me about twenty minutes before I bump into Angela who’s wobbling a bit having had a few too many drinks herself. She grabs my arm and pulls me into a dance.

“You and I need to talk mister,” she says, her words a bit slurred.

“How can I help you?” I joke back. Angela’s one of the few people I like. She’s smart, funny and straight forward and I know she’d go to war for Lauren which makes her okay in my book.

“L really loves you,” she says sternly.

“Well I’d hope she does,” I kid with her.

“No. I’m serious,” she pouts. “She’s never loved a guy how she loves you. You’ve changed her.” She says the last part off handedly.

“What do you mean?” I ask as she pulls my arm for me to spin her around.

“She’s grown up, not the same naïve girl who got off the bus from Michigan,” she says, stopping her dance and motioning for me to follow her away from the dance floor. Once we are we sit down at an empty table.

“You know we didn’t know what to think of you and her at first. I will admit I didn’t think you could give her what she wanted,” she continues and I wonder if this girl is a mind reader.

“I want to give her everything she wants,” I say simply.

“Good. Because she deserves it,” she says, the slur almost gone from her voice.

“A guy like you could break a girl’s heart,” she says, standing up before she squeezes my shoulder. “But you wouldn’t do that, right?” she says in my ear before gliding back onto the dance floor.

I wouldn’t do that. I can’t do that.

I maneuver throughout the hall and spot Lauren grabbing a glass of champagne and heading up the stairs to the second level. I quicken my pace to catch up with her. The second floor is virtually empty. Since everyone is on the main floor, I know she must be as over this as I am. She walks to the end of the hall where it’s dimly lit and sits at a table alone. I take a deep breath and walk toward her.

“Drinking alone isn’t good,” I wink at her.

“Well it’s a good thing you’re here then,” she says sarcastically.

“To you,” she says, lifting her glass briefly before downing the champagne. She stands as I near the table and starts to walk past me. I grab her wrist and she lets out a deep sigh.

“Really Lauren? You’re going to act like this at our engagement party?” I ask.

“How should I be acting Cal?” she asks, wryly. I step closer to her and whisper in her ear

“Like the sight of me makes you wet.”

“You are disgusting,” she says but I can hear the slightest amusement in her voice.

“I have to know if I’m right,” I tell her pressing her up against the wall. She stops my hand as it starts to creep under her dress.

“Am I really enough for you Cal? Just me, one woman for the rest of your life?” she asks me. I can hear the sincerity in her voice, her eyes revealing everything, and it hits me. She thinks that Gwen could have been another woman. I have to lean down so we’re face to face. She’s in her come fuck me pumps, they’re tall but she still only comes to my chest.

“You’re it for me. Right now, tomorrow, always.” I tell her and her smile is back, the distance is gone and she’s mine again. She kisses me like she missed me. She moans in my ear as I push her underwear to the side and slip my finger inside of her.

“We’re going to get caught,” she pants.

“You want to be more discreet I take it?” I ask her sarcastically and she nods her head while licking her lips. I grab her hand and pull her to the table she was sitting at before and her eyebrow raises.

“Have a seat Ms. Brooks,” I say, gesturing to the chair she was sitting in. She eyes me suspiciously with a smirk but sits down. I walk behind her and push her chair underneath the table.

“What are you up to?” she laughs. I wink at her and take off my jacket and hand it to her before lifting the thick grey table cloth up and climbing underneath it.

“Should I climb under there with you?” she giggles.

“Nope, just sit back and relax,” I tell her as I move her legs apart.

“Cal no!” she says trying to shut them.

“Have a drink Lauren. I’m about to,” I tell as my tongue slides up her thigh.

“Oh my God,” she says nervously. I see her hands making sure the table cloth covers her lap as I tug her underwear down.

“Cal this is so bad,” she purrs, as my tongue finds its way inside her.

“What if someone…” she says tightly as she melts around me. She doesn’t finish her sentence as her hands grip my hair.

I start to go faster, and glance at my watch. I can usually get her off in about five minutes tops if I really wanted to, it only takes longer if I want to tease her, but since I know she’s scared as hell of getting caught I won’t do that right now.

“Cal,” she pants out, trying to be quiet. The little whimpering sounds she’s making has me thinking that pulling her under the table might not be such a bad idea.

“Shit,” she says as her legs start to get tighter around my neck and I know she’s almost there.

I hear her phone vibrating on the table.

“It’s Helen. They’re probably looking for us,” she cries.

“They’re probably c-coming,” she says digging into my shoulder, her legs start to shake and her body goes limp. I climb out from under the table and take a seat next to her. Her eyes are closed but the smile on her face is priceless.

“I owe you,” she says, leaning her head on my shoulder.

“You’ve got time to pay me back,” I tell her, running my hand through her hair.

“How much time?” she asks with a giggle.

“Forever.”

I’
m going to Chicago. When the words came out of my mouth, I heard them, they felt right to say but really what the hell am I thinking? Chicago? Chicago isn’t me. I don’t know anyone there, I don’t have a job there, and Cal has home field advantage. But Dr. Lyce, and Dex can keep an eye on me if Cal comes back. Most importantly I’ll be with my family, Lauren and Caylen, and that’s how it should be. They’re what’s important, right?

A new start.

It could be good. It’s going to be good. It’s all going to be great.

I’m excited, big city, new relationship, sort of. If I can quit thinking about the fact that Cal is a potential murderer, hell bent on killing my biological father, it would be a lot easier, but since I can’t then we’ll just have to deal with it. The fact that Cal remembers things from my childhood and I don’t isn’t comforting either. To know my dad, the person who brought me into this world, could be a cold blooded killer and Cal wants us to follow right in his footsteps, is more than a little disconcerting.