If Not For You (32 page)

“The names Gus, I got your email and drew these up,” he said, handing sketches to Gage and myself, the locks and keys were exquisite, the detail amazing.

“These are perfect, what do you think, sweetheart?” Gage asked, as we switched drawings, both the same but the lettering reversed and the image mirrored.

“I think I can’t wait to do this,” I said honestly, adrenaline coursing through my veins.

“Okay, next question. Where are we putting these?”

I pointed to the spot and Gus didn’t look put-off at all. I guess he’d seen every part of the human anatomy and had either tattooed or pierced it.

“Lie down and scoot your skirt up doll and slip down your undies a bit,” Gus said, and I looked at the smirk on Gage’s face, he was enjoying this.

Gus tucked paper towel into the edge of my panties and arranged me just so, took the stencil I pointed out as mine and applied it.

“Look good to you?” he asked Gage and handed me a mirror so I could see the outlines better.

“Great!” we said, in stereo.

“Ribbon color?”

“Red,” we said, in stereo again and laughed.

Gus didn’t see the humor and poured a dollop of sports car red into a tiny cup, snapped his purple gloves at the wrists and stepped on the pedal on the floor, bringing the screaming needled gun to life and I took a deep breath.

Gage held my hand and I squeezed my eyes shut singing ‘Tainted Love’ over and over in my head, as the buzz of the gun vibrated and the needles tore into my flesh, well that’s how it felt anyway. After a while the pain got to a more tolerable level, but now and then it was as if he was digging for gold and my grip would tighten.

“Almost done doll, need a break or do I go on?” Gus asked.

“Keep going please, let’s get this over with,” I practically begged, scared that if he stopped now I wasn’t going to let him finish.

“It looks really good you’re going to be happy,” Gage assured me.

“I’ll be happy when it’s done.”

“Then you should be really fucking happy cause I’m done doll,” Gus said, and poured cold liquid over the tattoo, wiped it clean and handed me a mirror, I looked at it dumbfounded.

It was beautiful. The Black and gray filigree three dimensional detail was so fine and delicate looking, and then the red ribbon that Gus carefully wrapped around it gave it a sexy flavor.

“Gus, thank you it’s better than I could have ever imagined it would be.”

Gus nodded behind long dark lashes. I smiled at the big burly hulk thinking he was acting coy, and then he gave me a naughty little wink. Shy my ass. He was so being a man. He smoothed gel over the tattoo, covered it with plastic wrap and tape, slipped my panties up and over it and I lowered my skirt. A sudden feeling of modesty made my face redden, can’t imagine why, this guy had his face at my crotch for almost two hours and now that it was over I felt shy? Stupid bitch!

“I’ll give you a minute to get yourself together, sit up slow and get you bearing, I’ll grab you some water,” Gus instructed as he left.

Gage kissed me tenderly and then helped me sit up. “Okay let’s go.” He joked and I gave him a slap.

“I don’t think so toots, you’re next.”

“Will you hold my hand?” he teased.

“I’ll hold whatever you like.” I said and gave him a full on, tongue down his throat kiss. “It won’t be like the massage will it?” I laughed, and licked my lips seductively.

“Not fucking likely. You better stop that too. This guy’s not going to be too thrilled if I have a hard-on while he’s tattooing me.”

Gus cleared his throat before coming back into the room fully evident by the smirk on his face, that he heard us and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He cleaned up and set up everything for Gage, got him situated and brought out a disposable razor.

“You want to do it or do you trust me?” he asked.

“You’re about to come at me with a gun full of needles, I think you can handle it,” Gage answered, lying back with his arm over his forehead.

“You’re the boss, but I was asking her.” Gus winked and smiled at me and Gage’s mouth dropped open.

Gus was openly flirting and I gotta say I liked it. Gage’s scowl wasn’t so fun, it told me he wasn’t digging the man with the gun coming on to his woman. I slowly wet my lips, formed them into a pucker and blew him a playful kiss. His eyes narrowed into that brooding stare I so enjoyed provoking and then closed tight as Gus began his work.

Nearly two hours later we were on our way, deciding to do a little shopping at the Dubai Mall, called the largest mall in the world, I believed that to be an understatement. It wasn’t large, it was gargantuan. Actually there was no word to describe how big it really was.

I was starting to feel the effects of the lace on my panties rubbing over my already irritated flesh and squirmed around trying to find a way to get comfortable.

“I need to find a washroom. I have to get rid of these panties,” I said, and Gage’s head shot around, his eyes doing a slow burn as those dimples appeared.

“They’re rubbing me the wrong way, how are you doing it with jeans on?” I asked.

“My jeans are tight, no rubbing, just a bit sore,” he shrugged a sorry, “I’ll help with your panty problem.”

“Think I can handle it thanks.”

We found a washroom and I sighed with relief when I removed my panties and the plastic film, I washed my hands and looked around to see if I was alone and snuck a peek. It was a little pink and puffy but it looked great and my heart skipped a beat when I thought about us making love with our new tattoos.

“Feel better?” Gage asked, when I came out of the washroom.

“Oh, so much better,”

“Now it’s my turn to suffer,” Gage said, pulling at the front of his jeans.

“I thought you said you were okay, just sore.”

“I was until I thought about you without underwear.” he said, eyeing the obvious bulge in his pants.

“Sorry,” I smiled, taking his hand pulling him along with me.

“Come on I’ll buy you lunch, take your mind off my drawers.”

“You mean lack of,” he growled, and I laughed to myself at his obvious discomfort. I loved the affect I had on him.

Thankfully there was a store locator nearby that gave a listing of all the stores, restaurants and directions, we finally decided on Café Blanc, a Lebanese restaurant, window shopping until we found it.

Not a large restaurant, nice and cozy, we sat in the center at a little square table sitting across from each other with our feet tangled together. The seats were heavily cushioned with brightly striped green, blue and pink material that you sunk into. The tables were thick bright green glass that the wall lighting sparkled off of. Nothing else adorned the table, none of the usual candles or salt and pepper shakers, it was pleasantly lacking so we could hold hands unobstructed.

The air was scented deliciously with warm spices, olive oil and heavy garlic. Baked breads gave a bakery background among all the other smells that seized the senses.

We ordered flatbread meat pies that resembled a pizza without the cheese, mine spicy and Gage’s mild, he was such a coward when it came to hot stuff, well most hot stuff. A small dish of pickled vegetables and basket of breads accompanied our meal. Canned soda was our choice of beverage, too early in the day for booze and we ended the meal with Stouf, an almond-semolina cake flavored with turmeric and pine nuts, it was wonderful. Maybe it was the experience as a whole, but food always tasted better on holiday.

After our lunch we walked hand in hand past store after store with the highest fashion garments in the windows, on the skinniest mannequins available and we laughed at the fact that they had actual hip bones and nipples. Gage pointed out the constipated expression on their faces; I agreed and told him it was because they were hungry. I topped it off with my usual eat-a-burger-bitch mantra and we laughed hysterically as we headed into a specialty chocolate shop next door.

Inside Gage bought two huge chocolate covered strawberries. The shop clerk carefully wrapped a ribbon around the blue box marked ‘confections’ in gold writing and placed it in a gold bag with blue string handles, all done so tasteful and elegant.

Outside the shop he kissed my lips gently, almost just a skim and whispered ‘later’ as he slipped the bag into his backpack. I bit my bottom lip so he would see and he smiled that dimpled smile pulling me into him for a hug, smoothing his hand over my rear end. I moaned softly.

“Where’re your panties?” he whispered.

“Are you still thinking about that?” I asked, leaning back to see his smiling face.

“Haven’t stopped, sweetheart,”

“They’re in my purse. Why?”

“Give them to me.” he demanded, with an outstretched hand. I opened my purse and held it out to him, he dipped in and smirked as he balled them up and slipped them into his pocket.

“You’re a sick puppy, Mr. Carter. Why would you want my panties in your pocket?” I laughed.

“You know I teeter on the side of twisted and bent,” he laughed, as we started to walk again. “It’s like I’m constantly touching you. Besides, it keeps me happy.”

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy,” I declared.

We walked along for a while and I couldn’t help but notice Gage’s hand kept drifting into his pocket and he’d tighten his grip on my hand, it was somehow weirdly arousing, but arousing all the same.

“Look, an aquarium.” Gage pointed out.

“Want to go in?” I asked eagerly, like a kid at an amusement park.

“Hell, yeah.”

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed as we walked slowly into a glass tunnel aquarium.

It was amazing, a 260 degree view of the most beautifully colored fish on the planet. Fins spread out in neon blues, pinks, purples and greens, frilly like feathers and flowing gracefully in the water’s current. Manta Rays and sharks galore all mixed together in another world, all very indifferent or unaware that they were on display and humans were invading their space.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. Look at the sharks,” Gage said, pointing a finger to a great white as it swam overhead. “They don’t look real.”

“They look real enough to me, real enough to bite your ass,” I said, giving his butt a tiny pinch and he spun around like a top to get away from me.

“Hey!” He grabbed my hand and bit my knuckles gently, “You’ll pay for that later woman.”

I sneered with my brows raised like a dare was just set in place and proceeded on without a word, he knew, I knew. It would be hours before we got back to the ship and I could feel a wet pool between my legs, the air conditioning in the building proving it with each cool blow.

“Look at that.” Gage said, pointing out a group of children laying on the floor ahead, watching up at a school of fish swimming over like an eclipse, causing a dark shadow on their faces.

“That’s cute, they’re so involved, to be a kid again,” I said, a little melancholy.

“You’d want to do that all over again?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t you? If you knew then what you know now wouldn’t you like to go back and fix it all, make all the wrongs right?”

“No. I had a great life as a kid. I made a few major mistakes when I got older, but all in all I can’t say I’d change anything. It wasn’t all smooth sailing and there were times I wondered why things were what they were, but that’s life. All the wrongs as you call them happen for a reason. Life would be dull without mistakes. It’s how we learn.” Gage caressed my cheek. “Was your life really that bad, would you change everything?”

“Fucking right I’d change things. A lot of things.”

“You have regrets?”

“I have many. I always say in my next life, I’ll do things differently.”

“In your next life, you think there’s an afterlife?”

“Maybe, I’d like to think so. I’d hate the idea that this is it, that when it’s over, it’s over. That you close your eyes and all there is…is blackness.”

“You’ve really thought about this. You’re a real mystery to me, you know?” Gage said, as we strolled along past the children laughing and giggling on the floor.

“I think about it a lot, weird right?”

“No. You’re not weird at all. I do think you think too much and over analyze to the point of ridiculousness. There is something strange about you though,” he hesitated briefly, I was intrigued to hear his revelation. “It’s the fact that you don’t share much, unlike the average woman who can’t hold her tongue or hold back a thought, but then again you are living with a secret.”

Burn, he was pushing for an answer, I knew it would come to this lumbering moment when he couldn’t hold back his curiosity.

I stopped in my tracks. Was this the moment I needed, like an omen? Was I ready to tell him, ready to tell it all, my mind began to race as I pondered the hundred or so different ways that my revelation would affect our relationship. I had finally reconciled myself to the fact that if our relationship was ever going to move forward I would have to tell him, yet when I looked into his waiting eyes, I couldn’t do it. Not yet, not now when we were having such a good time. I needed to change the subject and get back what we had before I got all stupid and despondent. I spotted a sign just in the distance and pointed.

“Parana.” I tugged him in the direction of the sign just outside of the tunnel, but I could tell by his slow move to join me, he was feeling dejected again.

“Now those teeth would make mincemeat out of your ass.” I laughed but Gage’s nonresponse had me turning to see his pissed off glare.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” I begged, slinging my arms around his neck planting smooches all over his face until he smiled not quite the dimpled one, but close enough.

“I don’t mean to get angry at you. You just frustrate me,” he admitted, and my heart sank.

“Give me time, I just need time.”

“I’ll give you whatever you want. I just wish you’d talk to me.” He pulled me tight against him and I could feel his hip rub against my tattoo.

“And I will, in time.”

He tilted back his head, rolling his eyes while letting out a long calming sigh and looked up at the ceiling of glass. I wanted to make a flippant remark regarding the eye rolling, perhaps offer a spanking for doing so and make him laugh, but held back.