If Not For You (29 page)

I lay for a minute with my eyes closed tight and tried to catch my breath as I heard the sound of foil tearing. The pressure of Gage on my hips as he sunk his fingers into the flesh of my ass cheeks and plunged into me, had me writhing again. A new sensation was growing, replacing the heat from my previous orgasms, with the anticipation of another on its way. I couldn’t take anymore, I thought I’d burst into flames and turn to ashes if he made me cum again.

He took me fast and furiously this time, riding me with fervor like I’d never known possible. His groans of pleasure only excited me more. I swirled my hips to meet his rhythm and squeezed my sex around his shaft.

“Holy…fucking shit…don’t stop…” he bellowed each word as he tightened his grip and growled, “cum for me baby. Cum for me now!”

I swear I saw stars as I exploded around his cock, almost painfully, tiny sparkling stars in the dark behind my closed eyes. I felt his climax begin with slow, deep, even thrusts until he collapsed on top of me and gave a long relieved moan.

“That was so…fucking amazing.” He said between breaths.

“Uh huh,” was the only thing I could manage and Gage laughed when he rose onto his elbows and wiped the sweat from my brow.

“A woman of few words, eh baby?” he whispered, kissing me gently before rolling off of me and wiping his forehead.

“Mmm…”

“You transfix me. I find myself completely at your hold, totally mesmerized by you.”

“Uh huh.”

He laughed.

“I’ll be back, you’ll wait for me?” he asked, running his thumb across my cheek, I nodded and then he disappeared into the washroom.

A washcloth and towel in hand, he wiped me clean and toweled me dry and threw them to the floor, his attention had me melting into the sheets. He was so wonderful, caring, kind and I was falling hard for him. Perhaps it was post-orgasm feelings, but I was playing with the ‘L’ word in my head and it scared me.

Gage climbed onto the bed and pulled a sheet over us and held up something glittery between his index finger and thumb. Another charm, this on an oval of diamonds and I laughed as he clipped it onto my bracelet.

“You came well prepared, so sure it was going to happen. What if I hadn’t had an orgasm?”

“No worries baby. I wouldn’t have stopped until you did. You need to learn now that I’m no quitter, when I set my mind on something I won’t rest until I get it.” He lay on his side with his head on his hand and played with a lock of my hair with his other. We didn’t speak for the longest time and then Gage broke the silence.

“Now that we’ve dealt with the ‘O’, what would you like to do next?” he asked, with a naughty undertone, I had to laugh.

“Next?” I asked.

“There’s always a next, sweetheart.” He assured me.

“Since I can’t think of anything at the moment because my brain is a little murky on orgasm overload, what’s on
your
mind?” I asked, sinfully playing along.

“Orgasm overload, I like that,” he laughed. “Are you willing to leave it up to me then? Leave it in my controlling hands?” he teased, biting his bottom lip and grinning. The idea had my stomach in a knot, but I really liked the concept of Gage being in control.

“Uh huh…I think I’d like that,” I said, as he rolled onto his back and I settled my head on his chest.

“You sure?” he asked. “I mean
really
sure?”

“I think so.” I answered a little apprehensive this time, when he questioned me.

“You have to be sure, I can be very demanding,” he said in no uncertain terms.

“Should I be scared?”

“No, not scared, I’d never hurt you, never.” He sounded sincere, moving me so that he was looking into my eyes and I saw the sincerity, I really did.

“Promise?”

“Promise. But in due time, for now we explore the here and now.” he said, crossing his fingers over his heart. I glanced at his tattoo, the word ‘Forgiveness’ spelled out in Latin, as his fingers swiped past it making me wonder what it meant.

“I give you control,” I said, and our lips touch softly. Gage gave me a satisfied hug and sighed before we both closed our eyes and fell asleep.

Day 28

Our day was spent in orgasm heaven. Any kind of skin to skin contact, whenever a breeze blew by or when we caught sight of each other with anything less than neck to toe clothing on, we’d find ourselves in a tangled embrace and hot sex followed. Sometimes for hours until neither of us could walk unassisted.

The man was insatiable, he had stamina, amazing stamina.

Utter control hadn’t come into play. Anticipation settled deep in my gut. Kinky images raked my thoughts, like those I read about in novels. Unfortunately, experience was not my ally. He hadn’t tied me up or gotten into the rough stuff he knew I craved. Yet Gage attended to my every need and gloried in controlling orgasm after orgasm, a selfish lover he certainly was not. It was that darker, naughtier side I waited on. Don’t get me wrong I was more than enjoying myself; it was just the promise of something mysterious that had me intrigued.

We barely spent any time apart and the time we did, I referred to as recovery time, was short and sweet. Gage had practically moved in, a fact that bothered me sometimes, not for the reason you think. Not that he was with me all the time, I love that he wanted to be with me every waking moment. But rather that our time together would soon end and he would be torn from my life, forever! The void would be larger than I could fathom. His absence would leave a cavernous hole, one that would remain exposed and painful. My heart ached whenever I thought of him walking away, so I chose to ignore it. But I knew I could fool myself for only so long, letting myself believe that this was a good thing we were doing. Letting myself believe that I could handle being alone again was like a suicide pact and I was well aware of what was preordained.

Both drained physically, we agreed to park our asses by the pool and relax. At least out of the room we could manage self-control, for a short time anyway. I loved the way Gage could make me scream like a banshee with his touch and that exquisite tongue of his made me breathless at the thought. We, as in I, needed some rest.

Gage had moved two lounges side by side into a shady area surrounded by umbrellas and spread out towels on them, watching me with a fire in his eyes as I slid off my shorts and t-shirt to expose the hot pink bikini he loved and lay down beside him. His voracious appetite for me was endearing and I hoped it would last forever, even though I knew that forever was only twenty five days away.

We held hands and I studied him as he faded in and out of a vegetative state. His skin was a soft contrast to the hard muscled frame beneath, nicely tanned and flawless except for one tiny scar I noticed on his side, just under his ribs. I wondered all kinds of things, my imagination conjured up many situations and I’d have to ask when he woke. He was gloriously sexy as his hair blew around his face in the breeze, the scent of his coconut shampoo causing me to smile. I loved that smell especially when mixed with his musky sweat during sex. The aroma was like a sexy cocktail that I constantly thirsted for.

I drew my attention back to my book, enjoying the naughty daydreams that it was giving me. I stared at the swell in his shorts and tried to picture myself giving him head, could I possibly give the man a blowjob? Hell after the hours he spent with his head between my thighs, why couldn’t I return the favor? Gage rolled on to his stomach and broke my concentration.

A server came over asking if I was interested in something from the bar, I ordered a Strawberry Daiquiri. Knowing that Gage was asleep I didn’t bother to wake him and lazily went back to my book.

Sipping from the straw after discarding the cheesy paper umbrella and eating the strawberry garnish, I enjoyed the cold icy concoction. The awareness that I was being watched suddenly made my skin crawl, goose bumps burst over the surface of my skin. I chewed nervously on the straw as I perused the pool area, watching for anyone meeting my eyes, but like always I saw no one. I just couldn’t break the feeling.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Gage asked, startling me; causing me to jolt.

“Fuck, you scared me,” I said, a little more foully than I had meant.

“Didn’t mean to,” he said, rolling over and sat up taking my hand in his and squeezing it.

“You’re going to think I’m stupid, but I have that feeling like someone’s watching me again,” I told him, not wanting to appear like some silly scared bitch needing a man to protect her. This feeling was starting to unnerve me, it was happening far too often for my liking.

He scanned over the crowd and then back to me with raised brows, “I don’t see anyone suspicious.”

“Well you’re the big security expert, do something,” I demanded, in a tone like a spoiled brat, well aware that that was exactly how I came off.

Gage’s amused expression as he spoke didn’t help the matter, “What do you profess that I do, go get my gun and force out the culprit?”

“I don’t know…I don’t know.” I was so frustrated I had blocked out what he said and then it suddenly registered. “You have a gun?”

“Of course I have a gun, and a license to carry it.”

“On the ship, they let you on the ship with a gun? Not in my room, right?”

“Could you say it a little louder, sweetheart? I don’t think the man in the striped shorts over there heard you. No. Not in your room. Stay calm, losing your shit won’t help the situation any.”

“Look, I’m used to this crap at home. My father has me followed all the time. I can easily pick those assholes out in a crowd. I’ve been stalked by psychos before, my father is big business, worth a fortune and they seem to think that kidnapping me would get them some kind of ransom, a big payout. Little do they know he wouldn’t give a shit…this is different.”

“Different how?” he asked, with a softer, gentler timbre, obviously trying to pacify me.

My eyes scanned the area, my brows furrowed, a sense of calm passed through me, “I don’t know…I’m not in danger it’s not like that, I just can’t explain this creepy feeling.”

“Don’t worry baby, I’m here, I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.” His lips caressed my knuckles and that dimpled smile of his made me feel a bit better.

I just couldn’t get past that disturbing feeling.

***

Dinner in the dining room proved interesting. With the honeymooners on one side of the table and Gage and I on the other, it felt like a twisted tag team match. Which duo would make it through the entire meal was anyone’s guess. Sexual tension sat like a storm cloud over the table. Hearts were beating, loins were burning and panties were soaked to the extreme. We one-upped the competition by focusing on the buffet table, peeling ourselves apart long enough to take in needed nourishment. The competition barely noticed our departure.

The buffet offered the usual
buffet
fare, nothing exciting, salad at one end and desserts at the other, meat, poultry and veggies with a few pasta dishes thrown in here and there. I took a table spoonful of just about everything deciding to treat it like a sampler plate. It looked more like a sampler of the garbage bin as I swirled it around on my plate with my fork, totally disinterested in eating.

“You feeling okay, sweetheart?” Gage asked, seeing that I had hardly eaten a thing and my wine went untouched.

“Not really,” I admitted. I had been feeling strange most of the day. I’d just kept it to myself, not wanting to alarm Gage at all.

“Do you have another headache?”

“No. I’m just tired I think.”

“You want to go back to the room?” he offered, as I pushed my plate to the side and had a small sip of wine before setting it off to the side too, so not appealing and leaving only a bitter after taste.

“No. I could use some fresh air though.”

“Okay, let’s go.” Gage pulled out my seat and offered his hand to help me up, that was the gentleman in him, the gentleman that I was growing to love.

I latched onto Gage’s arm and rested my head on his shoulder as we strolled on deck, the breeze felt welcoming on my skin.

“Your mother taught you well,” I said.

“Taught me what?”

“How to treat a lady, opening doors and holding her seat, all the little things you do so right,” I smiled, hugging into his shoulder a little tighter.

“My
father
taught me how to treat a lady, not my mother. I never knew my mother. She left my father when I was a baby.”

“How sad is that? So it was just you and your Dad? Do you have brothers or sisters?” I asked, wanting to get to know a bit more about the man I was falling hard for.

“Just me and my father. Are you feeling any better?” he asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“No. But the fresh air feels nice.”

“Did you take your pill today? You know the doc said not to skip any days.” He was far too cute when he went into the concerned boyfriend mode and I liked the added attentiveness.

“I took all my pills.”

“Are you on birth control?” he asked slowing his pace to look at me.

“For years, my father insisted,” my smile deepened, “I should have said. I guess there’s no need to use condoms.”

“I don’t know about that. I’ve never, not used a condom,” Gage admitted, and it shocked me, I didn’t know why in this day and age he wouldn’t, but it still shocked me.

“Wouldn’t you like to know what it feels like without one?” I asked, particularly interested in this answer.

I wanted all of him unshielded, bared, exposed, vulnerable if you please. The idea of being his first bare made it almost feel virginal.

“Sure. I’d love to be inside you without a barrier. And thanks to your little pill confession, I’m going to dream all night about nothing but that,” he teased, forcing me to laugh at his dilemma.

“But it’ll be good dreams.” I said, in a sultry tone just to stir the pot a bit more.

“I can’t wait for my dreams to come true.” He bit his bottom lip between his teeth, it was a hot gesture and I probably would have jumped his bones right there and then, but nausea was starting to take me over and I just wanted to lie down.