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Addie

Just saying it out loud is enough to have the tears threaten again. Before they can, Zeke shakes his head and raises my eyes to his, holding me there.

“Hey,” he starts, still shaking his head. “That could never happen, Addie,” he says confidently. “Never. I don’t care what happened, what you did… Nothing could ever make me walk away from you, okay?”

“Okay,” I nod, catching my breath and settling on his lap before I tell him everything.

Almost.

“You trust me, don’t you?” he asks, prompting an immediate nod from me. “Josh isn’t here, it’s just us, babe. You’re okay.”

I start with school, admitting that I’d applied to transfer my freshman year to be closer to him. Since I’d missed the cutoff, it was a no-go, so I moved to plan B which was to apply for the veterinarian program.

I told him about running into Chad the first day on campus, his offer to rent the room and then the situation with my dad and his gambling. Zeke sat silently, occasionally wiping my tears and listening patiently. When I got to the day I met Chad to discuss the lease and told him of our agreement, his silence came to an abrupt end.

“Wait… He made you sign
what
?” he rails, moving to stand up immediately and sending me into a panic.

“Zeke,” I start, my voice shaky as I put my hands on his chest, trying to hold him in place. “What are you doing?”

“What the hell do you mean what am I doing?” he asks, his features distorted in anger. “I’m going over there, Addie!”

“No!” I shout in fear, my eyes stinging with tears as he faces me. “You can’t, Zeke, please!”

“Why not?” he asks. “Addie, I’m not going to let him do this shit to you. He’s done, babe.”

“Just please let me finish,” I beg him, watching him reluctantly settle beneath me before I continue. “That’s why I’m working at the club. I had enough in savings to start, but when I tried to give it to him, he said he wouldn’t take it until I was working.”

“Why?” Zeke asks, his eyes holding a look of confusion. “That’s fuckin’ stupid.”

“I know,” I sigh. “He said it was because until I was working, he wouldn’t have any guarantees I’d pay him back. He said if he took the thousand I offered him, that I would get comfortable and stop looking for work.”

As I watch him shake his head, I can feel the anger rolling off him as I continue.

“So since I managed to come up with half the money, I asked him tonight if we could renegotiate our arrangement,” I continue. “I told him I wanted out of the entire thing, but that I would still pay him the balance. I’d keep paying rent there for the remainder of the leasing agreement, move out… I even offered to pay to list an ad in the paper for him to get another roommate,” I sigh. “He not only said he wouldn’t take any less than the full amount, he said if I left, I would be voiding the agreement.”

“Did he already pay your dad’s debt?”

“Yeah,” I nod.

“Well then what the fuck can he do if you leave, baby? It’s not like he’s gonna go get the money back from the fuckin’ bookies.”

“There’s more to it,” I sigh. “He told me tonight that he’s got the deed to my dad’s house. If I void the agreement, he’ll take the house and do God knows what to my dad.”

“Are you serious?” he asks, his voice finally falling as I nod.

“I called my dad to confirm it and he said not only was it true, but he’s pretty sure he’s being followed.”

“Oh, Addie…” he groans, rubbing his hands over his eyes before letting out a sigh and returning his hands to my legs. “What the fuck are you gonna do?”

“Doesn’t look like I have much of a choice,” I tell him in a defeated voice. “Until he’s paid off and the six months is up, I have to live there and do what he says or lose the house and most likely my dad.”

Sitting silently for a long moment, I feel him studying me as I chip away at the last bit of black polish on my nails. I know he’s waiting for me to say something, but after months of being strong, I’m retreating to cowardice.

I won’t lie to him anymore. He’s right, I’ve been keeping dangerous secrets for far too long. I
will
wait to make him ask me in the hopes it won’t be the one thing I don’t want to talk about.

When he breaks the silence, I know that last little shred of luck has burnt out.

Zeke

As I let everything she’s just told me process, I watch her grow silent from her place in my lap. I’m waiting for her to keep going, but she doesn’t. As she clears the last spot of polish from her fingernail and remains silent, my ability to wait any longer goes with it.

Knowing we both need the extra minute before the next part, I stand and make my way to the kitchen. Grabbing us each a beer, I open hers before handing it to her and take a seat on the coffee table to face her.

“So, is that everything?” I ask, still staring at her as she stops her movement, biting her lip nervously.

“For the most part,” she says as I take a long pull from my bottle. “I think I told you everything with Chad.”

“What about the rest of it?”

“Like what?”

“Like
us
, Addie,” I say immediately, my voice low as I watch her freeze. “Like the way we are with each other because it’s the only way that feels right anymore? Or what you’re going to do when all this shit blows over?” I continue, my eyes already stinging with tears. “What about how you’d barely talk to me for two years, but you still won’t tell me why, Addie?”

“Zeke…” she says, her voice low as she shakes her head.

“I know it was hard, Addie, but I never thought…” I cut her off, no longer willing to keep quiet. “Why’d you do it?”

“What?” she manages, her face filled with fear and sadness instantly.

“Did you meet someone else? Did you feel like you were being neglected?” I list off, watching her eyes fill with tears again as she shakes her head. “Then what, baby? Please tell me.”

“You said…”

“I can’t take this shit anymore. I can’t keep lying awake every fucking night just obsessing about you, wondering what the hell I did, if there’s anything I can do now?” I say as I stand, drying my eyes before shaking my head. “You won’t lose me, babe, I swear, but you have to tell me.”

“Zeke, it’s not any of that,” she whispers, making her way over to me and leans her head against my back.

The combination of her touch and two years of emotion finally being set free is overwhelming. After holding everything in for so long, I know I have to tell her everything. If I don’t, the regret I’ve been swallowing since that day will finally consume me.

“I get that it might have been over for you, but it wasn’t for me,” I confess, my voice breaking as I turn to face her, finding her hazel eyes filling with tears. “It’s still not, Addie.”

As she swallows hard, I watch her swipe a tear away from her cheek and look away, her eyes sweeping the carpet at her feet. I know this look. I’ve seen it a million times. She’s debating her words right now, deciding if she’s brave enough to say them, maybe even if I’m brave enough to hear them.

“Just tell me,” I whisper, pulling her eyes to me and watching the last of her hesitation leave her.

“All we were doing was fighting. I was afraid if things kept up, we’d lose each other completely,” she starts, her voice low. “Once I found out I wasn’t getting the transfer and I wouldn’t see you all summer… I didn’t see how it would get any better. I knew you had to work and I didn’t want you to feel guilty every time we talked. You didn’t do anything wrong at all. I never felt neglected, there’s never been anyone else,” she admits as she shakes her head. “I didn’t end it for me, Zeke. I did it for you.”

As I take in her words, I’m at a loss for my own for possibly the first time in my life.

For so long, I’ve wondered what I did, what I could have done, all to find out it was her thinking she was doing what was best for me. The pure insanity of it all coming down to this makes it impossible to think clearly. When I finally do, its pure disbelief that stains my voice.

“Are you kidding me?” I ask, watching surprise fill her features. “Did you seriously just say you did it for
me
?”

“Zeke, you weren’t happy,” she says in a soft but defensive tone.

“So you thought breaking up with me was gonna help?” I blurt, staring back at her to find her eyes filled with regret as she looks away. “What the fuck kind of logic is that? How was getting dumped supposed to make me feel any fuckin’ better?”

“Well, it’s not like it was a party for me, either,” she counters. “I didn’t want to break up with you, Zeke.”

“So why did you?”

“I was trying to save our freaking friendship!”

“Well, don’t do me anymore fuckin’ favors, baby,” I shake my head as I glance over to find her swiping a tear away.

The last of the irritation leaving me, I take the steps that separate us, pulling her attention to my eyes.

“What about now?” I ask, my voice softer. “What do you want, Addie?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” she shrugs. “Chad…”

“I’m not asking about Chad, baby. I’m asking you,” I cut her off. “This is your life, Addie. What do
you
want?”

Letting out a small sigh, she stares up at me with her perfect hazel eyes and for a moment, time stands still.

“You, Zeke,” she breathes, her voice cracking slightly with emotion. “I just want you.”

As the words leave her lips that spark inside me jumps back to life. With no hesitation for the first time in far too long, I grip the back of her neck and crash my lips to hers, taking everything I’ve needed for the past two years.

Instantly, we ignite.

Addie

The second his lips touch mine, my entire being feels like its bursting into flames. One palm rests possessively over the base of my neck as he tangles the other into my hair. In three strides, I’m pressed roughly against the wall behind me, gripping his shirt firmly in my trembling hands.

As he pushes passed my parted lips, I savor in the taste of him, the feel of his tongue stroking against mine as he reclaims my mouth, taking it completely. Deepening the kiss, I pull him closer and swallow his low groan of pleasure, instantly craving more.

“I missed you so much,” he pants against my lips.

“I missed you more,” I breathe.

Moving my hands lower I slip them under his shirt, relieved when he takes a half step back and quickly pulls it over his head. Holding his indigo gaze as his hot breath washes over my skin, I pull my top over my head, my bra immediately following.

“Jesus Christ,” he groans as takes me in, dipping his head to pull my already hard nipple into his mouth.

The second his tongue makes contact, I release a low moan of pleasure and feel the heat building between my thighs. As he moves down my front, I feel his hands going to work on my shorts as he dips his tongue into my navel, making me pant with need.

Within seconds, I’m completely bare to him.

Falling to his knees on the floor in front of me, he lifts my leg over his shoulder and looks up at me. Inhaling my scent, I watch his eyes grow heavy as he lets my name out in a sigh before covering me with his mouth. As he dips his tongue inside me, my head falls back against the wall as I bury my hand in his hair. In no time, my head is swimming, begging for him as he pushes me to the edge.

“Baby, please,” I rasp, pulling a low growl from his chest that does amazing things to my body. “Oh my God, Zeke…”

“Tell me what you need, baby,” he croons, still sucking and lapping at me as he starts going to work on his jeans.

“You inside me.”

“Fuck!” he groans around my clit before moving to stand in front of me. “Do I need a condom?” he asks, pushing his jeans away while he holds my gaze as I pant in front of him.

“No,” I manage.

“Thank God,” he breathes before gripping my thighs. “Hang on, sweetheart.”

Zeke

In the next second, I’m lifting Addie off her feet and pushing into her deep, the loud gasp that leaves her lips drown out by the growl that leaves mine.

“Addie,” I groan against her lips. “Baby, you’re so fucking tight.”

“Zeke,” she whimpers, digging her nails into my skin as she holds my eyes. “You feel so good.”

Slowly I begin to move, not wanting to rush my time with her. After having waited so long for her though, only minutes pass before I’m slamming into her with more force. Keeping a tight grip on my neck, she pulls my lips to hers and kisses me hard, moaning into my mouth.

Pulling away slightly, she lets her head fall against the wall behind her as I move my lips down her neck. When I squeeze her thighs, I feel her begin to pulse, growing wetter with every thrust.

“Oh my God,” she pants, parting her lips slightly as I find her eyes. “Baby, I’m getting close. Please don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” I promise as I drive into her harder, watching her eyes flutter slightly as her nipples graze my chest. “Let me have it, baby.”

“Yes!” she gasps, biting down on her lip as her orgasm pours over me.

“That’s it, baby,” I husk as her release washes over me, pulling me with her. “Who’s girl are you, Addie?”

“I’m your girl, baby,” she moans against my jaw as I fill her. “Only yours, Zeke.”

As the grind of my hips begins to slow I keep hold of her thighs, running my lips over her jaw while we catch our breath. Gently, I take her mouth as I slowly sink to the ground, taking her with me as I turn to lean against the wall.

Not ready to break our connection, she straddles me as I run my hands over her body, dipping my head to lap at her chest. As I cover every inch of skin I’ve been missing for so long, my eyes fall on a small tattoo at the top of her ribcage.

Pulling away slightly, I take in the script that reads
I’m still not letting you go
surrounded by stars and my heart clenches in my chest. Bringing my eyes to hers, I see the tears there that mirror mine and bend to kiss her deeply.

“I love you,” I whisper, wiping the tears away.

“I love you, too,” she sniffs, her soft voice breaking with emotion. “So much, Zeke.”

Addie

Between my shifts at the club and sneaking around with Zeke, the next few weeks pass us by in a blur.

While I can’t say I’d grown any happier with the situation with Chad, just knowing I belonged to Zeke again was enough to keep me happier than I’d been in a while.

While it was crucial we keep our relationship a secret for the time being, Chad’s schedule made it easy for us to go unnoticed. Once a week, I was still expected to spend the night in his bed and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t more torturous than ever. Not only did I hate the idea of being in anyone else’s bed, the look on Zeke’s face those days as we walked by him on the steps was excruciating.

As hard as it’s been though, there was freedom in knowing I belong to Zeke in ways Chad would never know. Just knowing in a few months, we’d never have to be apart or hide again was enough to keep me breathing.

No matter what that paper prison said, Chad could never take that away.

Tonight, as I take Zeke’s hand and he leads me through his apartment toward the door, I inhale his familiar scent as we come to a slow stop.

I don’t want to go back.

“We’re gonna get through this, baby,” he starts, seeming to read my thoughts as he begins brushing the hair away from my face. “Everything’s gonna be alright. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know,” I nod, releasing a sigh and leaning against his chest.

I feel like I’ve been waiting an eternity to be back in this perfect place. The last thing I want is to have to walk away from it and re-enter my personal hell across the way.

I don’t have a choice though and we both know it.

If I stay much longer, Chad will be suspicious and that’s the last thing I need right now. I’d been late the night before and at last minute, had to come up with a way to cover my tracks.

“It’s just a few hours,” Zeke whispers, seeming to read my thoughts. “I hate it, too, but we can do it.”

Nodding, I let out another sigh and reluctantly pull away.

“Call me if you need me,” he starts, pulling another nod from me. “I’ll be over first thing, okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper with a small smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby,” he replies, bending to take my mouth gently, humming into my mouth.

Making my way across to my door, I glance back to see his indigo gaze still fixed on me. Throwing him a kiss, I take in his wink and push the door closed, locking it tight before tiptoeing my way across the apartment toward my room.

Silently, I make my way inside and reach for the light switch, cursing at the odd placement I can never find in the dark. Stepping around my bookshelf, I finally manage to locate it. Before I can reach the switch, the lamp beside my bed comes to life, startling me.

“Jesus! You scared the hell out of me!” I jump, clenching my chest as I take in Chad leaning against my headboard. “What are you doing?”

“Seems I could ask you the same thing, Addison,” he says quietly.

“Is something wrong?” I ask, feigning confusion.

“Well, I thought you said you had to work tonight,” he starts. “I got off early, so I stopped in to have a drink, but you weren’t there.”

Fuck
.

“I wasn’t feeling well so…”

“Shut up,” he snaps, his tone sending a chill through my veins as he stands and clears the distance between us in two strides, gripping my chin. “I don’t even want to hear whatever bullshit you’re about to try and feed me, Addison. I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, but I know you’re doing something and I know it’s going to stop.” “Chad…” I start, tears pricking behind my eyes.

“I said enough!” he cuts me off, releasing me and gesturing toward the bed. “Sit down, Addison. We need to have a talk.”