Illusion (23 page)

“She’s putting off weird emotions.  She realizes something isn’t right but can’t figure out why.  And her smile… it’s like she imitating what a smile looks like.  There’s no feeling behind it.  Is this because of what you had to do?”

His pacing stopped as he rested against the countertop and his hands gripped his hair. 
“I would assume the change in her personality has to do with me removing part of her memories.  It was traumatic for her to discover that there are vampires, to know what we are and what you are, only to then rip those from her and replace those with scant recollections of watching a movie and going to bed.  I feared this would happen.”

His head fell back against his broad shoulders.  His hands tensed to make fists and then he relaxed them again
.  “Fuck!”

I flinched at his sudden expletive.  Moving to stand in front of him, I placed my hands against his hard chest and looked up at him.  Our eyes met and his were stoic
.  “This seems like more than that, Stefan.  So what happens now?”

“For now, nothing.  We watch, we listen and we wait.  This could be temporary.”

I didn’t move.  My hands were still on his chest and I stood breathless. 
“And if it’s not temporary?”

He let out an audible chuckle, dry and humorless
.  “You know the options, Josephine.  She will either die or be forced to accept the truth again.  Or be changed.”
 His hands floated along my arms
.  “Do not ask me to change her.  I will refuse.”

A cold chill ran along my spine.  I couldn’t force Stefan to do anything he didn’t want to do.  And he’d attempted to save Georgia already.  If she hadn’t been so damn nosy and impulsive we wouldn’t be having this discussion about the precarious fate of her life right now.

“So we wait.”

He nodded
.  “I am proficient at waiting.  I waited 200 years for you.”

I loved him for attempting to lighten the mood.  I just found it hard to be jovial when my friend’s life was dangling by a slowly unraveling thread.

“Come.  They will start to wonder what happened to us.  It is time for us  to smile and act like nothing is amiss.”

We walked hand in hand back to rejoin my friends, vaguely noticing that Stefan and I both were wearing the same grin Georgia had been displaying earlier.  On the surface, it appeared like we didn’t have a care in the world, but it covered our fear and concerns.  We were suddenly the actors in our world of secrets, smiling widely to hide the truth.

My unintentional crash course tonight gave me an understanding of what it was to be immortal.  You had to learn to blend in with humans; mimic their laughter, their happiness, and their smiles.  Yet you were always on guard, watching and anticipating when a human would put the pieces together and figured out your true nature.  How had Stefan lasted almost 1,000 years and still maintained any humanity?  It was frustrating and I’d only just now realized what my life was going to become.

“Yes.”
Stefan’s mind entered mine and interrupted my thoughts. 
“This is your life now as well.”

He was right.  Thanks to my parents, I was dealt a bad hand and I had no other option but to play this game beside of him, smiling, calculating, watching, and staying vigilant.  I was an immortal oddity, my blood neither entirely human or vampire.

Conversations went on around me and I nodded and laughed in all the right places.  I drank, ate and watched as the festivities went on around me.  I wasn’t really here with them.  I’d retreated to a corner of my mind where I observed and thought, figuring out the next move of what had rapidly become a very complicated life.

Georgia and Anna finally were going through the motions of gathering their things together to leave.  They pulled me into a group hug and I was reassured to feel both of their emotions filled with affection and sadness.  Maybe the old Georgia was still there, underneath it all.

“I’ll miss you both,” I sputtered as I embraced them both.

“Don’t you dare avoid my calls,” Georgia warned.  She leaned back to look in my eyes, lifeless for a moment until they sparkled again.  She seemed to be operating on a 10 second delay.

“Josie, I’ll call you tomorrow.  You still need to sign paperwork to list your house,” Anna said, tugging Georgia along with her out the door.  They stood in the doorway and turned to look back at me.  Georgia crooked her fingers in a small wave and Anna winked at me.  When they disappeared into the Bali night, I let out the breath I’d been holding all night.

“This is it, isn’t it?”  I said aloud.  Stefan and Lukas flanked me on both sides as we watched their departure.

“For their sake it has to be, Josie,” Lukas replied.  He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it affectionately.  “The sooner you let them go, the easier it is for you and for them.  This is the hardest part.  After 50 years or so, this won’t be so difficult.”

Lukas’ words ricocheted in my head.  In 50 years I’d be 78 and I’d appear just as I look now, living a life surrounded my immortal creatures.  Attempting to be human, struggling to fit in.

Unreal.

“Is it still worth it?”  Stefan’s soft voice questioned me.  I turned to face him and saw the worry that lined his handsome face.  He was still afraid at any moment I’d run and come to hate the life I had in front of me.  What could I do?  I had no choice but to live my life.  I hadn’t chosen it any more than Stefan had chosen to be turned that cold spring night as he lay dying on a funeral pyre almost 1,000 years ago.

“For you, it’s worth it,” I replied, leaning into his embrace.  Stefan sighed contentedly against my hair and pulled me closer.

“God, you two make me sick.  An eternity of this mush.  If I could vomit I would right now,” Lukas groaned and flitted off.

Stefan chuckled at Lukas’ disgusted departure.  He let go of me long enough to retrieve a blanket from a closet.  “I have something to show you.  Come with me.”

My curiosity roused, I followed along.  I’d learned that Stefan’s surprises were usually worth investigating.

* * *

Stefan’s surprise had been worth it.  We’d been laying on the beach, looking at the stars and listening to the waves as we alternately kissed and whispered to each other.  It was nice to be alone, away from the worries and drama from the evening.  Our connection was soothing, a comforting bond that made everything easier to handle.

“Our last night in Bali,” Stefan said.  He sat up on the blanket he’d spread across the sand and pulled me to sit along beside him.  Our eyes met and he stared lovingly at me.  I found myself unable to look away from the depths of his blue eyes, glittering brightly in the moonlight.

“Yes.  And I get to spend it with you,” I replied softly.  I couldn’t imagine ever spending a night apart from him now.  We were forged together irrevocably, two parts of a whole.

A smile broke over his handsome face, revealing his even white teeth.  He glanced to stare at the ocean for a moment, his blond hair shining in the darkness.  His profile was glorious with his deep set eyes and the strong line of his jaw.  When he turned back to look at me, I knew I could look at him a million times and it would always be like that first night we met.

 “We have many more to spend together.  I have thousands of nights to make love to you.  I lived a half-life until I met you on the beach that night.  I thought it fitting that we end our time here the way we began,” Stefan murmured.  His thoughts mirrored my own and we met half way for a slow kiss.

His mind opened up to me and I saw myself through his eyes.  He looked past all of my imperfections and only saw the good and the beauty in me.  It wasn’t possible to feel more wanted and loved than I did in this small moment in time, leaving me in awe of this creature that always saw more in me than I dared to see in myself.  I wasn’t sure what I had ever done to deserve his love.

“Follow me.”

Stefan got to his feet and took my hand, leading me to the edge of the water that was sweeping across the deserted stretch of beach.  We stood silently, our hands intertwined as we listened to the erratic tempo of the ocean hitting the sand.

He released my hand and he stripped out of his jeans and t-shirt, throwing them to the sand.  His fingers were quick and nimble as he removed my dress, unzipping and pulling it over my head to toss in the pile with his own clothes.  We stood naked in the darkness, our bodies so close they were almost touching.

He clasped each side of my face in his large hands, his soulful eyes searching my face.  He smiled, leaning to capture my lips in a kiss that was reverent and soft, filled with love and adulation.  Pressing my body closer to his, electricity sparked between us when our skin touched, a maelstrom of emotions unleashing inside of me: desire, need, lust and love, each sentiment warring for control.

He lifted his lips from mine, only to see the same passion mirrored in his heavy eyes.  He wordlessly lifted me into his arms, carrying me out into the ocean, the warm waves splashing against our skin.  We advanced a few yards until the water reached the top of his narrow waist and nearly covered my breasts.

Stefan twirled me around through the water in front of him and his long arms cradled me to his chest, his wet fingers trailing lightly over the skin of my back.  Our lips met tenderly and our embrace tightened.

“Float back,” Stefan instructed, releasing me from his arms.

I complied, falling back into the sea, my hair floating in the water around me.  He spread my legs and drew me closer to him, the salty water keeping me afloat.  His fingers teased my pussy softly, occasionally plunging in, while his other hand caressed my nipples, rolling and making them pebble under his touch.  I was filled longing, trembling under every expert touch of his hand.

“Please,” I begged.

He smiled, his thoughts filled with delight that I had begged for him yet again.  He took his cock in his hand and poised it at my entrance, pulling me slowly towards him until our bodies were completely joined together, both of us letting out a soft sigh of satisfaction.

“Stefan,” my voice came out as a breathless whisper.  I wasn’t able to manage much more than that.

“I love you, vackra.”

We made love slowly under the moon and the stars, our bodies moving easily through the water, with gentle thrusts and an easy rhythm that rocked me to my core.  As he slid inside of me, my eyes traced the beads of water that was clinging to his arms and chest, hypnotized at watching the smooth, sinewy muscles ripple with his fluid movements.

When I fell over the edge, it pulled me gently, my body shaking with the aftershocks of my orgasm.  He joined me, quietly crying out my name.  He gathered me in his arms and I wrapped myself around him as the gentle waves splashed against us.  Hugging him closer to me, I rested my cheek against his shoulder and pressed a kiss against his neck.

“I should be sad,” I whispered.  I knew he could hear me over the surf.  “I’m not though.  I’ve never been happier even with all of the bullshit.”

“The bullshit will not be forever.  It is a blip on the radar of our long lives,” he responded.  “Hold on.”

Locking my legs around his waist, I held on as he walked us out of the ocean.  Even though I was content in his arms, part of me wished I could see him striding naked out of the ocean.  He had to look like some sort of Nordic god rising from the sea with his gleaming blond hair and glowing skin.

“You compared me to such the night we met if I am remembering it correctly,” he teased as he let me slide from his arms to stand on the sand beside him.

“Hmm.”  I stood back and looked over him, from his thick wet hair, down over his broad shoulders and muscular chest.  My eyes traced over the ridges of his toned abdomen to finally sweep over the length of his long, solid legs.

“Well?”

“Fucking beautiful.”  I used his words from our first night together; the night that forever changed my life.

“Min gudinna.”  He closed the distance between us and cradled my face in his hands.  “You were worth the wait, vackra.”

* * *

Anna stayed true to her word.  She’d phoned early the next morning, agreeing to meet at my villa.  She needed to take photographs and have me sign the necessary contracts giving her permission to represent me in the sale of my house.  I’d snagged the keys to Stefan’s car since my jeep had been donated to charity and been picked up the day before.  Slipping behind the wheel of his Audi, I drove the familiar route to my house, anxious to get the paperwork signed and get back to catch our flight later in the afternoon.

As I pulled into the driveway, I was surprised to see Lukas with Anna, standing at the rear of Anna’s car.  Putting the Audi into park, I stepped out of the car and glanced between Anna and Lukas.

“Hey Anna,” I hugged Anna briefly.  “What are you doing here, Lukas?”

“I’m saying goodbye to Anna,” Lukas replied abruptly.  His ice blue eyes lacked their normal sparkle and he seemed reserved for Lukas.  Normally, he’d find some way to sexually charge the conversation or tease me.  He was reserved, standing uncomfortably between us.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.  I don’t have much time.”

Anna was prepared and made short work of snapping pictures around the house, leaving Lukas and I alone in the living room.  He sat nervously on the edge of the couch, cracking his knuckles and rolling his neck from side to side.