Illusion (26 page)

             
Over the next two weeks, we get into a good routine. While she is at work, I shower, dress, eat, go for a long walk to get fresh air, do a little reading or writing or watching TV, then I go to my counseling session with Dr. Ross. My sessions are three times a week now. When Emi gets home, we make sure I stay occupied, and before bed, we hug each other and cuddle up in bed together. She tells me she loves me at least twelve times a day, and I repeat it back to her.

             
Brice comes around, as well as Meghan, neither of them quite as much as I'd really enjoy, but I know they have lives outside of me, so it's okay. I understand it.

             
One evening Emi comes out of the bedroom, twirling a hair tie around her fingers nervously, and sits on the couch next to me. "I uh, I'm going on a date tonight, so I called Brice. He is going to come over and keep you company."

             
I smile at her thoughtfulness. I know it's more for her than me anyways. It's her way of comforting herself, knowing she won't come home to what she did that night. "Okay, that sounds good. Am I going to meet this guy soon? You guys have been dating a few weeks and I've yet to meet him."

             
She smiles bashfully. "Yeah, I was thinking maybe next weekend, before you head back to work, we could have a little get together here with a few friends. I'd invite Quade over."

             
Emi had never mentioned the name to the guy she was dating, so when she says it, I feel bad for not asking before now. I don't say it because I can only think of one thing, so I completely ignore everything she just said and blurt out that one thing that comes to mind. I hope I don't sound judgmental. "He isn't some gangster wannabe from the Bronx is he?"

             
Her eyes widen before she throws her head back in laughter. "Oh God no!" She has to catch her breath and seeing her this happy really makes me smile. She worries her lip and gets embarrassed, or so it seems. "But he is some chocolaty goodness."

             
I'm honestly not surprised in the least though. I can't help but giggle just a little. "I can totally picture it."

             
She gushes with excitement. "Really? Good, because he is breathtaking and so sweet. He is twenty four, lives in the Upper West Side, and drives a BMW." She goes on and on, telling me everything about him she can possibly think of. I don't think I've seen her this happy over a guy in such a long time.

             
Her story ends when a knock sounds at the door. She glances over at the clock in the kitchen. "Oh shoot, I was supposed to have met him ten minutes ago! I guess he better learn now I'm not a person who is ever on time for things. Okay love, I'll see you in the morning."

             
She kisses the top of my head and walks towards the door, opening it for Brice.

             
When Brice walks in, he is holding a bottle of wine. I haven't even thought of having a sip since that night. I want to smile at the gesture but it kind of hurts. He sets it down on the counter, not saying anything to me as he pulls things out of a small tote bag from the grocery store.

             
I see some movie rentals, as well as a plastic container that looks to be holding cupcakes or some kind of pastry. He grabs a couple glasses from the cupboard, pops the cork, and pours two glasses of wine. I can actually feel myself shaking just at the thought of consuming it. I know it's weird, it wasn't the wine that tried to kill me- it was myself. But it brings up the memories anyways.

             
He manages to bring everything into the living in one arm load. Without asking me to take a glass, he places one in front of my face. I take them both and set them down, and he places the plastic container that is indeed holding cupcakes, chocolate frosted ones at that, next to them. He walks over and puts a movie into the DVD player.

             
Without a word still, he walks into my bedroom. When he comes back out it's with a pillow and a throw blanket. He tosses them on the couch next to me. Then, without any notice, he pulls his shirt off. Whoa, not expecting that. All I can do is stare. He unbuttons his jeans and slides them down and steps out. My heart starts accelerating, not understanding what is going on.

             
Brice walks over, hits play on the player, then sits on the couch. He reaches over, grabs his wine and sits back, putting the blanket over his lap. I'm so dumbstruck, I just stare. I can't seem to find words to ask him what just happened, or is happening, and I can't find the ability to move in for a cupcake, or the wine, or him. They're just as equally delicious.

             
Finally he turns to look at me and he smiles softly before taking a sip of wine. He points his glass at mine when he is done savoring the taste. "Don't let it get too warm, it's good." He then turns back to the television as if none of this is weird. I haven't even looked at it to see what is playing, I'm still just too confused by this situation.

             
"I, uh, yeah, I guess, sure, why not."

             
He faces me again and lifts one side of his mouth into a smile. "You already drunk or something?"

             
Yes, yes, I am drunk... on you.

             
"Uh, no."

             
"You feeling okay?"

             
"What just happened?" I finally ask what I've been wanting to.

             
"What ever do you mean?" I can hear the sarcasm in his voice.

             
I squint my eyes at him. "You know what I mean. What was that?"

             
He chuckles then sets his glass down on the table. He turns his body to face mine. "I was trying to lighten the mood. You're going to get healed completely before getting back to work, this is one step. Drink some wine. Stop thinking about things so much and enjoy yourself. Enjoy life. Enjoy a cupcake. Enjoy the movie."

             
"And you." It comes out of my mouth before I have time to think.

             
His face brightens and his eyes darken. He clears his throat and leans in just a little. "Excuse me, did you just say that?"

             
I bite on my lip and I can feel myself blush. "What ever do you mean?" I steal his line, then I steal the pillow and bring it to my lap while he starts roaring in laughter.

             
"Oh, you're not getting away with that."

             
He pulls the blanket off his lap, grabs my pillow and tosses it on the floor, then he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. I yelp at the sudden change in direction. His lips are on mine in a matter of seconds and I melt into his mouth. He adjusts us so I'm straddling his lap. It's a little awkward with him being in just his boxers while I’m fully clothed. Especially when he hardens under me, but I'm enjoying his tongue mixing with my own so I don't think too much on it.

             
His mouth moves to my neck and I can feel his breathing increase against my warmed skin. His kisses are soft and tender, nothing like the time when we had that moment on my couch. His hands pull on the hem of my shirt and I allow him to lift it off me. He runs his hands up and down the sides of my stomach as his mouth goes to my collar bone. He licks along it then starts kissing on the other side of my neck and along my shoulder. I can feel myself getting ready for him.

             
I grind my hips down into him and he moans against my skin, making it even hotter than it was. He lifts me so I'm now standing in front of him, then he unsnaps my jeans and pulls them down. I step out of them and am left in just my underwear and bra, which are both just white cotton. Not sexy at all, in fact it’s kind of embarrassing. He doesn't seem to mind as his lips come to my navel and he licks up a ways up before biting down on some skin. It causes me to gasp loudly.

             
Grabbing my hips, he pulls my body over and I fall down to the couch onto my back. He adjusts himself so he is on his knees, between my legs, and he brings his lips back to my mouth. His body slowly approaches mine and I wrap my legs around his waist. The only thing separating us are our undergarments.

             
He slowly grinds into me, not going too hard, but it feels incredible. His lips leave mine again I shudder when they come in contact with my ear.

             
"I love you too," he says against it.

             
"T- too?" I'm breathless, and his words don't help matters any.

             
He kisses beside my ear and whispers again. "I heard you tell me you loved me at the hospital. I've been waiting for the right time to tell you too."

             
He pulls back and looks down at me. I know my eyes are welling up with tears, but it's with more joy than I thought I'd ever feel again. "I, I do, I love you Brice."

             
"I know." He kisses my nose and pulls back far enough it separates us completely. I want to protest but before I'm even given the chance, he lifts me up and carries me into the bedroom. "We're doing this the right way."

             
I kiss his lips before he places me down on the bed. He pulls his boxers down as I slide off my undies, then I unsnap my bra, tossing it to the ground. I know I was naked in front of him once, when he showered me that night, but this time I'm more exposed. I'm about to give him a piece of me that I didn't think I'd ever give anyone again. This isn't sex, this isn't about passion, this is purely us about to love one another in the best of ways. This our souls dancing together, getting to know one another, grabbing at each other, falling for one another. This is us, about to make love.

             
Brice kisses my lips softly before entering inside me. Yeah, it's definitely been a long time since I've had sex. It takes a moment for me to adjust to him and when I do, he slowly pulls out and pushes back into me. It's teasing and it's utterly amazing. He kisses my lips again, as he continues to go slowly in and out of me. One hand finds mine, grabbing a hold of me tight, the other explores my face and hair.  We watch each other, not saying anything at all. The sound of his breathing mixing with mine, his body moving in and out of me, our hearts hammering in our chests, those are the only sounds in the room and they're screaming out everything that needs to be said- they're yelling out how much we love one another.

             
When my body is getting ready to release everything inside of me, he pumps a little harder into me. His lips meet mine and we end up coming together. His lips are pressing so hard into mine as I'm trying to catch my breath and something about the moment makes it all the more passionate and romantic. My body is loving everything about this moment. When he is done shaking inside of me, he pulls our lips apart, and a long moan escapes from my mouth, causing me to shiver all over.

             
"Wow," he breathes.

             
I nod my head while closing my eyes. "Yeah, wow is right."

             
"I've never done that before."

             
My eyes immediately snap open and I stare at him in disbelief. His smile widens. "I've had sex before, no, that wasn't my first time having sex," he laughs, then gets serious again. "That was my first time... making love." He shakes his head. "I can't believe I'm corny enough to say making love but that is all I can think of right now."

             
I grab the back of his neck and pull his face to mine, kissing him more passionately this time. We ended up rolling over, him still inside of me, and now I'm on top. I can feel his length twitching inside of me, getting ready for a second time. I continue kissing him while my hands explore his chest and arms and neck and hair, while his run up and down my legs, butt, and back.

             
When I feel that he is completely ready for me, I lift my hips and slowly lower myself onto him again. He growls in my mouth while his hands grab my hips, and he helps me ride him until we're both coming apart again. It wasn't nearly as powerful the second time around, but it was definitely something incredible just the same.

             
Later that night, while we're both lying in bed, this time he has on boxers and I have on pajamas, he wraps his arm around my stomach and we spoon. I stare off in the distance with a smile on my face as he rains kisses on my shoulder and neck. "I have to ask you something." His voice is soft yet powering.

             
I close my eyes, not that he can see, and will myself to ask him what. "Okay," I drag out the word, "what?"

             
"I want you to meet my family."

             
Wow, I didn't realize those seven words were just as powerful as the three words he said earlier tonight. I can't help but smile largely at that. I turn in his arms and plant a kiss to his lips. "I would love to."

             
His smile matches mine. "Really? You would?" I nod my head before he even finishes asking. He seems so joyous over the idea. "Can we go before you have to go back to work?"

             
My nerves flutter out of control over the idea, but I'm still happy nonetheless. "When would you want to go?"

             
"This upcoming weekend? We could leave when I get out of work Friday night and make sure we're back Sunday evening."

             
"Emi is going to be mad we can't have a get together at the apartment, but I would love nothing more."

             
He kisses me again and we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

             
The rest of the week goes by perfect, and when Thursday rolls around and it's time to start packing, I can feel myself finally panic. Emi walks into the bedroom while I'm tossing things onto the floor, the bed, in the suitcase, then back out and onto the closet floor. She laughs at my indecisiveness.

             
"God, I think you're worse than me. You only need like two or three outfits. It's hot in Tennessee, just like back home, so shorts, tanks, and sandals. Pack light. You're meeting his family, you don't want to seem needy."

             
I roll my eyes and face her. "Fine, help me then." She throws in a few outfits and I'm done. Just like that. Oh, wait! I run to the bathroom and grab my hair stuff and make up and toss that in as well.

             
"Uh, you're going to need that all tomorrow, silly."

             
"Whatever, I'll just pull it out of the bag and throw it back in when I'm done using whatever. I don't want to forget any of it."

             
She smiles and sits on the bed next to the suitcase. "I'm happy for you. I think this is great, that you're meeting his family. You know, even if you're ditching me and the party I had planned." She sticks her tongue out at me and it makes me smile.