Illusion (28 page)

             
Lynette doesn't seem to notice my miserable mood. "Well we aren't getting any younger. I was only with Ralph two months when I found out I was five weeks pregnant with Lydia. We were married three months later, and we're insanely happy. Sometimes the best relationships and families are formed in the oddest of ways. I want me a nephew one day." She winks at Brice.

             
He pulls me into his side and wraps an arm over my shoulder. After giving me a chaste kiss to the top of my head, he scolds his sister with a stern voice. "Just stop Lynette. It's not something we've discussed, and I don't need you scaring her away."

             
She waves her hand at him in a dismissing way. "Whatever. You've been talking about her for months and you even said you loved her. I was just getting a conversation started for the two y'all." She stands and walks in the other room. I'm not sure if it's just me, but that seemed a little rude. Maybe it's just because I'm both sad and angry she'd bring up the subject, not that she knows I can't have children and want them desperately.

             
"Sorry about that," Brice whispers.

             
"Its fine," I lie.

             
His other sister starts telling us a story about a guy she met, then all the siblings get into conversations about their lives again, and I just sit here and listen.

             
When it's starts getting late, all his siblings give both Brice and I hugs, and I give all the kids hugs too. I've gotten to talk to all of them a little tonight, and they're the most precious little children I've ever met. They all leave, and Brice's mom says she is headed on up to bed and she'll see us in the morning. She points a finger at Brice with a lifted brow. "I do use the bathroom at least twice in the night, you know, getting old and all."

             
"Yes, ma'am," he says defeated.

             
She gives me a large hug and heads on upstairs.

             
"Want to watch some TV or something?"

             
I smile at him. "Yeah, sure."

             
We cuddle on the couch together, my back against his chest, with a blanket draped over me. His arms are wrapped around me at the waist and my head is resting just beneath his chin. I fit to him perfectly and it's heartbreaking that this may not last forever, just for the fact I'm too inadequate for him.

             
I do my best to enjoy the moment instead of listening to my disappointing thoughts. It obviously doesn't work well. "You okay?" he whispers from behind me. I was hoping he hadn't noticed my sulking.

             
"I'm fine," I tell him.

             
He snorts out a dry laugh. "I'm fine. Hm, aren't those two words a girl should never say to a guy? It's like code for "I'm going to kill you in your sleep" or something like that."

             
Of course I can't help but laugh. I tilt my face so I can look up at him. He presses his lips to my forehead and watches me closely. "What is wrong? You can tell me anything."

             
"You know I can't ever have kids, right?" I may as well get it out there now. I know he knows, but I want him to get the concept. If he is going to leave me because of that fact, I'd rather it be now not later. It's the same reason that Kirt joined the military and went off to war just to get killed. The fact I can't carry a baby literally killed him, and it's killed a large part of me, too.

             
He just watches me for a moment, probably planning his break up now. Maybe he forgot I couldn't. Maybe he is doubting this all, right now.

             
That thought quickly leaves my mind when he smiles softly at me. "I know, and I never asked for them either. Ignore Lynette, and anyone else who asks. It'd be nice to have a baby one day, but there are other ways if it comes to that between us. Right now, I just want to enjoy you. I haven't put much thought into marriage or babies until my niece and sister put those thoughts into my head tonight, and even though they're there, and I could picture us having all that in the future, it's not something I want either of us stressing ourselves out about."

             
"I don't want to stress about it, not now or ever, I just would rather you leave me now then in two years from now, because I'm inadequate."

             
He stiffens under me and his face turns a lot more serious. "Did you just say you’re inadequate?"

             
"Yeah. I am."

             
"No," he says sternly. "Not at all. Zoey, there is nothing inadequate about you. You're incredible. You're smart, funny, beautiful, strong, and the list goes on. So what you can't deliver a baby, it doesn't mean that you can't be a mother. And I can already tell that you'd be a great mother."

             
A tear falls from my eye and I'm not sure if it's because he is being so sweet to me, or the fact that this reminds me all too much of everything I've been told before by Kirt. "I don't want to discuss this right now."

             
I turn my head back to face the TV, not that I can see it with the blurriness the tears are causing. I keep trying to blink back what is floating around in my eyes, but it doesn't work and a few tears fall. His arms tighten around me and his mouth comes to my ear. "I love you Zoey, I love you so much. Please, don't doubt your abilities of being an amazing woman."

             
"I love you too," I whisper.

             
He starts kissing down my neck and he nips at my shoulder. "We can still practice, right?"

             
"Not in your mom’s house, you heard her."

             
He chuckles and the sound warms me inside and out. "She has a pool."

             
"That is worse!"

             
"Nonsense."

             
"Brice, I'm not fornicating in your mom’s home or on her property."

             
He laughs even more and slides himself out from behind me. "That's fine," he says as he kneels on the floor next to me. He kisses my throat and works his way down my arm. It tickles but it's so soft and tender. When he reaches my hand, he sucks on a finger for a second then drops my hand. "Have I told you how amazing you taste?"

             
I can feel my face warm. "Uh, no."

             
"Well you do. You taste incredible. But there is one place I have yet to sample."

             
I tighten my legs together as I dampen from his words. My voice comes out hoarse when I speak. "Oh, yeah?" I try to play it cool, but I know just what he means.             

             
He grins at me in the most devilish of ways. His hand goes to my shorts and he unsnaps the button and tugs. I lift my hips up, letting him undress me. I know I shouldn’t, not on his moms couch, but the look in his eyes and the way his words make me feel, and the fact I need to take my mind off other things, I just can't seem to stop him, or myself for that matter.

             
He licks his lips before pulling my panties down. He adjusts me so I'm half sitting, half laying on the couch, and he is in between my legs while he still kneels on the floor. "You're all ready for me, I see." His finger runs down the center of me, causing me to shiver all over.

             
His finger goes in his mouth and I stare at him in shock. "Mm," he says against his finger, then pulls it out. "You are delicious." My face heats up so much but I swear I just got wetter from the gesture. He starts kissing my inner thigh and my hips involuntarily move towards his face. He lightly laughs against my skin. "Patience, Zoey."

             
"Now," I whisper. My body is softly shaking, wanting more. Needing more. Needing him to touch me, now. He licks the remaining way then his tongue starts to slowly torture me. He adds in a finger and I have to cover my mouth before I start moaning. He pulls his finger away, then his hands grab my thighs, separating my legs even more, then he pushes his tongue against me even harder.

             
I grab the blanket next to me and bite down on it as I come apart against his mouth. He pushes two fingers inside me the same time I get off and its causes the moment to be even more intense. My body literally shakes so much as my toes curl into the carpet at my feet. He pulls away and rubs my legs with his hands, then he stands up and walks towards the bathroom, leaving me here completely sedated.

             
When he comes back out he is grinning ear to ear and there is no denying how turned on he is. "That was," he licks his lips, "incredible."

             
"Tell me about it," I say, closing my eyes. I'm still not dressed. I can't seem to move. He bends down and helps me slide on my underwear and shorts again.

             
He sits down on the couch next to me. "I'm about to go rent a damn hotel room just so I can have my way with you, over and over."

             
I turn my head to face him and smile. "That sounds way too tempting." I look down to the spot in his jeans where it looks as though he stuffed socks into them. "Do you want me to?"

             
"Uh, I won't stop you, but you don't have to," he laughs awkwardly. "I wasn't expecting anything in return, I just wanted to taste you and please you. I've been wanting to do that for a while now."

             
I meet his eyes and they're still hooded as he stares down at me. The satisfaction on his face turns me on greatly, even though I just had an orgasm on his face. I want him to feel the same way I just felt, even if I'm a little nervous to do so.

             
"I um," oh this is embarrassing, "have to use my mouth." He tilts his head at me, confused, as my face burns again with embarrassment. "I don't give good hand jobs." I look down in shame.

             
He laughs and my eyes snap at him as he quickly covers his mouth. He looks towards the stair case and we both listen, but we don't hear anything above us. I feel like such a teenager right now, it's kind of thrilling. He looks back at me and drops his hand. "Thanks," I mutter sarcastically.

             
"No, no, I'm not teasing you or laughing at you. I'm laughing because shit, that is kind of every guy’s fantasy. I just didn't expect to hear you say it."

             
I raise a brow. "It's every guys fantasy a girl isn't good at using her hands to pleasure him?" Oh God, I can't believe I just said that out loud.

             
His grin just widens at me, clearly enjoying this whole ordeal way too much. "No, it's every guy’s fantasy that a girl is better at using her mouth." He bites down on his lips as his eyes look at my own lips. It's like he is envisioning me going down on him. The thought sends nerves to invade my body, even more so.

             
I decide this isn't a conversation I want to have anymore, so it's my turn to get on my knees. I unzip his jeans and pull them down with his boxers and when he springs to life in front of me, I'm reminded of just how big he is. It's a little intimidating but I use my mouth, and even a hand, and I pleasure him hopefully as well as he pleasured me. He whispers out before he comes, and I take all of it in my mouth.

             
His hand goes to my hair and pulls lightly on it when his come falls down the back of my throat, then he slowly goes limp under me as his hands fall to the couch. I lean back on my heels and look at him. He has his head laid back on the couch, his eyes closed, and the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. "Damn," he whispers. "Fuck. Shit."

             
I laugh and stand up, then I sit next to him on the couch. He whispers out a few more profanities before looking over at me. "That was incredible. I'm going to have so many fantasies about this night."

             
I just look down while I press my lips together. He kisses my forehead before he pulls his stuff up. "Don't be embarrassed, baby." Him calling me baby has my heart pounding even harder. I think that is the first time he has called me that. It's what Kirt always called me and I never thought anyone else ever would.

             
I don't want to ruin the moment, so I ignore it for now, but I admit to myself that it's both heartbreaking and endearing.

             
We end up watching a little TV, then Brice brings me to the room that I'm taking over for tonight and tomorrow night. Savannah's old room is stripped bare of most things, obviously bringing them with her to her new place, where ever she lives, but there is still a bed with a pretty quilt and clean sheets. There is one lonely poster on the wall of a cat hanging off a tree, and there are a few random things placed on an old dresser. The walls are painted a dark pink and her curtains are a light purple.

             
Brice tucks me in under the blankets, then gives me a sweet kiss on the nose. "Love you. I'm the next room over if you need me."