Illusion (7 page)

             
"Yeah, I am." She looks like a teacher, the way she is dressed, and she has soft, curly hair that is pulled into a pony tail. She has kind eyes and a soft smile.

             
She starts walking, without another word. I look to Harvey and he just continues staring forward.

             
We walk into a classroom and I'm completely surprised and giddy. It's decorated in a dinosaur theme, and in the center of the room is a sand table filled with white sand. There is water next to it and a few tools. I look to who I believe is a teacher, the lady who didn't give me her name. "What is this?" I ask her instead of Harvey.

             
"This is you becoming an archeologist for the evening." She walks over to the table and I follow her. I can't help but grin at the idea of Harvey putting this together for me. It's sweet, thoughtful, and slightly geeky. I love it.

             
She shows me how everything works then leaves us alone. Harvey lets me do everything myself. He just watches with a content smile on his face. He is simply enjoying the fact I'm enjoying this all so much.

             
An hour and half later, the lady walks back in. I'm covered in a white chalky mess but I don't mind. "Did you enjoy that?" she asks me.

             
"Yes, absolutely. Thank you for allowing me to do this here."

             
She smiles, seeming happy about me being so incredibly pleased over something so insanely simple. "You're more than welcome."

             
I help her clean up while Harvey leaves the room to use his phone. I walk out of the classroom just as he is getting off of it. "Sorry about that, that was my dad."

             
"Its okay, how is he?"

             
He told me about his family last night on the phone. He is an only child. His mom passed away years ago and it's been him and his dad against the world. He moved out to New York City years ago, trying to find himself and fell in love. His father didn't want to leave their home town in Maine, so they just talk occasionally.

             
"He is great, just checking in. Ready?"

             
"I am." He places his hand where my elbow is and together we walk out of the preschool. When we get into the chilly outside, I shiver and he holds me a little closer to him, rubbing his hand up and down my arm, keeping me warm.

             
I look up to him and smile. "That was perfect. How did you even think of that?"

             
He shrugs while smiling back down to me. "Just put some creative thought into making you happy."

             
"Well it worked, very well. Thank you."

             
He kisses my forehead then we get into the waiting cab. He must've called and told them we were finishing up. He rides back with me to the apartment, and I ask if he wants to come in, which he answers yes.

             
Closing the door behind me, I turn around and Harvey presses against me. I'm backed right into the door. He doesn't kiss me, not yet, he just hovers his face inches away from mine. I'm nervous and excited. I have no idea what he wants to do. Does he just want to kiss me? Does he want more?

             
Do I want more?

             
Before I can answer my own question, his lips are on mine. He kisses me with so much relentless passion, I'm left breathless, and completely turned on. I haven't felt those little tingles between my legs since the day Kirt left me. Even then I couldn't enjoy it, knowing it was the last time in a long time. I even believed it may have been the last, and it was.

             
I can enjoy this though. I can enjoy it so much.

             
His hands wrap around until their on my butt cheeks, and he gives them a nice, gentle squeeze. I tremble with need. Harvey starts walking backwards, not letting up, and I have no choice to follow him into my bedroom. Even given the choice, I'd follow him.

             
He lands on my bed and I straddle his waist, still kissing him, grinding slowly into him. The fabric between us giving me a little more friction, turning me on all the more. I'm soaking wet before he has a chance to roll me onto my back. He pushes his erection into my parted legs and my body trembles once more.

             
When our mouths separate, he watches my expression, making sure this is all okay. Before I can allow myself to think on it, I tell him, "I need you inside me, now."

             
He doesn't hesitate. He hastily pulls my shirt off, then he undresses the rest of me. He doesn't explore my body with his mouth and hands, not like I expected him to. He undresses himself and slowly lays on top of me. I wrap my legs around his waist and he slowly pushes himself into me.

             
He pulls back just as slow then pushes into me a little harder, filling me up. A tear escapes my eye, but not because I'm sad or because I'm sore- although I am the latter- but because the amount of passion and happiness that flows through me is so intense, I can't help myself. I never expected to be here again, not in a million years.

             
One of his hands goes into my hair, pulling ever so slightly when he needs to, while his other hand holds himself up. My fingers explore his stomach and chest, his back and shoulders, his jaw line, his arms. Everywhere they can reach, they explore. Once in a great while he'll go a little harder, where I have no choice but to dig into his skin a little, which has him giving my hair a little tug.

             
Sweat droplets fall from his forehead, landing on my cheek. I moan out with excitement and pleasure. He rolls us so I'm on top of him and I lay my chest to his, grinding myself up and down, back and forth on his pleasuring length. His hands grip into my hips, helping him meet my thrusts.

             
He sits up and I have to maneuver my legs to wrap around him. We're so much closer this way, and it's so much more pleasuring. There is more passion. My back arches so my chest is met with his and his hand squeezes it, lightly pulling on my nipple, causing me to roar with pleasure. I can feel him pulsate inside me, getting ready to come.

             
My lips are on his the second we both come together. My moan is met with his and my nails dig softly into his shoulders. With one more thrust inside me, Harvey pulls back and rests his forehead on mine. Both of us are breathing erratically, and I know I'm smiling like a crazy woman. A few more tears had fallen and Harvey wipes away at them, using his thumbs. It's a sweet gesture. I thought I'd be embarrassed crying during sex, it's something I've never done before, but with him I'm just not. He knows what I've been through and what this means to me.

             
His kisses my forehead then he separates us. I fall back onto the bed and pull the sheet up to cover me. He makes his way into the bathroom, then comes back out and joins me in the bed. We lay next to each other, both under the covers, staring at one another. It's the most comfortable silence I've ever experienced.

             
"Do you want to stay the night?" I ask. I'm even surprised by my question.

             
He grins before giving me a soft kiss to the lips. "I was hoping you'd ask."

             
"If we don't get out of this bed any time soon, our entire day is going to be wasted."

             
Harvey stops kissing my face so he can stare down at me. I bite down on my lip and watch him watch me. "It wouldn't be wasted, not if I can spend the entire day having sex with you." He chuckles before kissing my nose once more.

             
I roll my eyes at his remark. "Is that all I am to you? Someone you can have sex with?"

             
"You know that isn't remotely close to true." He rolls off from me but continues staring at me. I roll onto my side to face him as well.

             
"I know. I thought we were exploring the city some more today though. I was really looking forward to it."

             
He rolls over and sits on the edge of the bed, pulling the sheet with him. "Okay, let's get going then. I need a shower first though."

             
I climb out of bed and pad through the room until I'm in the bathroom as well. I start the shower, and he turns to look at me. "What are you doing?"

             
"I need a shower too," I say with a shoulder shrug and the most innocent smile.

             
His grin grows mischievous. "Using me for sex Zoey?"

             
This time I throw my head back in laughter. "Well, yeah." I wink at him before stepping into the shower.

             
He joins me and there really isn't much room for two of us but we manage. I actually enjoy washing his back for him, drawing little circles with my fingers into the lathered soap. He does the same for me and I laugh hysterically when he attempts to wash under my pits. I'm very ticklish, so it's not very smart for him to try. I end up elbowing him in the ribs on accident, and much harder than I should have. He plays it off like it didn't hurt, so I don't baby him as much as I want to.

             
Once we're both completely washed and rinsed, he turns me around to face him, then he pushes me back against the shower wall. When his hands grab onto my hips, I hop up until my legs wrap around his waist.

             
He enters me with more force than normal, but I can imagine it's hard for him to hold me up when we're both slippery and wet. One hand holds my ass, while the other is placed next to my head, giving him a little leverage. He pumps into me hard, and within a matter of minutes I'm starting to get off, which only makes him thrust into me harder.

             
"God, Zoey," he breathes when my muscles tighten around him.

             
It gives me encouragement to go a little rougher with him. He starts trembling against me as his fills me up with his release. I can't help but pant out his name a few times over.

             
He presses his forehead against my shoulder while he catches his breath. Once he does, he pulls back, allowing my feet to fall onto the shower floor. It's slippery and I struggle for just a moment to stand up straight, but with his help, I don't fall. We get out and he hands me my towel first, before grabbing the one he used yesterday morning.

             
Once we're both dressed and ready, we make our way outside on another gorgeous Saturday. I'm curious to know if this weekend is going to be better than last, or the same. I also want to know where we're going but don't want to ask. I like his kind of surprise.

             
By the end of the day, I'm exhausted. We visited an African Burial Ground, the Fashion Institute of Technology Museum, and one of the most beautiful libraries I've ever seen. I may not be a reader, but I can appreciate a beautiful, luxurious, modern library. They're all places we were apparently supposed to visit last Saturday before we got caught up in Central Park.

             
I almost don't believe the fact we were supposed to visit the FIT museum last weekend. The fact that they visit a fashion museum on an everyday tour with average people seems strange. I don't argue with him, no matter what I think. It's a place I've heard a lot about, working in the fashion business. Not only that, but this girl, Jerika, that I worked with told me that when I move to New York City, I better visit that place. I'll have to email her and tell her I did.

             
Everything we visited was wonderful. We ate lunch in Central Park, after buying a few things from the store. It was sweet and romantic in its own way. I'm slowly becoming addicted to Harvey. It's scary but oddly comforting at the same time. I have someone to lean on, that makes me incredibly happy, who I can trust with secrets, and that I can see myself eventually falling for. That is a lot to think after a week of hanging out, but this past week seems like a month. It's gone by both slow and fast.

             
When we get back to my apartment, I lay on the couch and Harvey takes my shoes off. He rubs my feet and I end up falling asleep laying there, not meaning to, but between being as exhausted as I am and his massage, I can't keep my eyes open.

             
I wake up to an empty place. It saddens me a great deal. I check my phone and see a missed call and two texts from my sister. I call her back, then I walk into the bathroom, using it while she answers. "Did I just seriously hear the toilet flush before I'm even greeted with a hello?"

             
I laugh. "Yeah, sorry. I was hoping to finish before you answer."

             
"Well hello to you too."

             
"You called?"

             
"I did!"

             
"And?" I drag the word out.

             
"Just seeing how things are going. I haven't heard much from you this week. Someone is stealing all your time and attention lately."

             
I lay back on my bed and stare at the ceiling with a giant grin. "Yeah, it's been pretty great. We uh, finally had sex. We've had lots of it actually." I blush thinking about how we can't seem to get enough of one another. "It's quite incredible."

             
"Yay! I'm so freaking excited for you. Told you it's what you needed. I wish I could give you one giant hug right now."

             
"Less than two weeks you can give me a dozen hugs." That is one thing I'll never in a million years get sick of, Emi's hugs.

             
She squeals on the other line. "I know, I'm so excited. So, not to put a damper on the moment, but how are you feeling about things? Are you honestly doing okay or is this too much?"

             
Emi is always looking out for me. She questions me almost weekly on how I'm doing, scared I'm going to fall back into the deep depression I first was in, where I nearly took my own life. I'm sure with the emotions running through me, ones I've been scared of, she is even more worried. "You know, you'd think it was too much too soon, and it kind of was the first few days, but I'm getting used to it already. I don't know what it was about Harvey that made me open up like this and give him a chance, but it feels right. I feel like I've been friends with him for years. I feel like I could give him more of me than sex and a friendship."

             
"Sweetie, hate to break it to you, you may not have had that exclusive talk, but you're more than friends and sex. You're in a relationship with the man. I'm sure you're only a few days away from making that official. I don't want to scare you, but you need to think about that. Are you sure you're ready for that?"

             
I don't have to think about it for once. "Yeah," I answer her honestly. "I'm ready."

             
"I think New York was the perfect change for you."

             
"And Harvey."

             
"And the medication mom made you go on."

             
"Oh, right, yeah, that too." I wish that I didn't have to depend on the medicine so much, but it has helped a great deal as well. I'm sure in a few months I can pull myself off from it. Especially if things continue this way with Harvey. "I am scared about one thing though."

             
I can hear the concern in Emi's voice. "What is it?"

             
"That I'm already falling and I won't be able to stop. And that he is going to break my heart and I won't know how to handle it."

             
"You can't be scared of heartbreaks honey. You experienced the worst of the worst kinds of heartbreak. You were with Kirt for thirteen years, and were about to get married, and you guys weren't expecting him to just..." She doesn't finish that sentence. "If you can survive that, you can survive anything."

             
"Yeah, I guess you're right."

             
Her voice is more uplifting this time. "I always am, sis, I always am."

             
I laugh and let her go. I want to find out where Harvey is. I walk into the kitchen and see a note on the table with a very boyish handwriting. Didn't want to wake you. I'll be back tomorrow. Sweet dreams, beautiful. -H.

             
I hold the letter to me and smile large. Yeah, Emi is most defiantly right. If I can be this happy right now, I'm going to accept it all, even if this is a relationship already. If he breaks my heart later on, I'll deal with that then. Right now, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm going to enjoy the moment.

             
I check the mail box to see if I have received any letter from Kirt. It's been three days, and I usually get two a week. Sometimes it's less because he is incredibly busy, of course. I know that. But it's still always disappointing when I don't receive one. There happens to be white sealed envelope addressed to me in his adorable scrawl, and it makes me smile.

             
I nearly skip into the apartment. The house phone is ringing when I get inside. "Hello?" I answer.

             
"Hey sweet cheeks," my Momma’s voice comes over the other line.

             
"Hey Momma. What are you doing?" I rip open the envelope while waiting for a respond.

             
She sounds a little down about something. "I need to talk to you about something important. Can you please swing by?"

             
I sigh, not really wanting to leave right now. I want to curl up on the couch in one of Kirt's sweatshirts that smell of his delicious masculine scent, I want to read this letter, then I want to watch some romantic movie that'll probably make me cry. It's all okay though, because I'm only six months away from seeing him again.

             
I decide I'll just have to leave it for later, I know Momma needs me for something. "I'll be there in a few moments."

             
I leave the letter there, not wanting to read it quite yet. I like to savor the moments I read his letters. They're usually quite romantic, sometimes a bit sexual. I've had to sneak into the bedroom a few times after reading his letters and use the vibrator he bought me for my last birthday. I make my way back out the door and settle into my car.

             
I'm curious as to what is wrong that she couldn't tell me on the phone. Please don't tell me my Poppa is sick or something. God, I really hope it's nothing to do with Emi, I'm not sure I could handle anything happening to my baby sister and best friend.

             
When I arrive to my parents’ house, I walk into the kitchen to spot my Poppa with his face down. He can't even look at me as his shoulders shake silently. Slowly my face turns to my Momma, who is crying deeply into her hands. Her sobs are heart wrenching and unmistakably painful. Then there is my sister, who stares at me with sheer heartbreak, tears running down her face silently. Everyone gives me a look of sorrow all at once. It only takes a split second to know.

             
I shake my head at them all. "No," I tell them. "No, don't tell me. It's not true, it can't be."

             
I fall to the floor, unable to take that kind of pain. It's worse than I thought. I wasn't expecting that, not today. It was always in the back of my mind, I always knew it could happen. I had a gut feeling he wouldn't come home, but I prayed every single day. Sometimes I even visited church with Momma, wanting to get on God's good side. I thought with all the struggles, He'd grant me this. One simple thing. I wanted Him to let my fiancé, the love of my life, my soul mate, to survive the war.