I'm Holding On (2 page)

Drew

I’m such an id
iot. I had a perfect opportunity to kiss her, and I blew it. I don’t deserve Bryn if I can’t even tell her how much I care for her. She saunters back into the room with a smile and sticks a plate in front of me.

“These are called ‘Sweet Drews
.’”

“You named a dessert after me?”

“Yes. I hope you don’t mind. If you like them, we could sell them at the shop.” This woman is an angel.

“What kind are they?”

“I made a strawberry cream filling with real pieces of strawberry, a hint of lemon zest and mini chocolate chips. Then I drizzled honey and chocolate on the outside, which you can see of course.”

She’s
enthusiastic when she creates something new. It’s another quality I love. Her eyes are big and round and full of hope.

“Try it, and please be honest with me. If I need to change something
, I will.”

I take a bite, and she’s probably the only thing that could taste better. “Mmm … Bryn, these rock.” She gives me a breathtaking grin.

“You really like it? You’re not just saying that to spare my feelings are you?”

“They’re awesome, and I really don’t want to share, but I guess I can let you have one,” I say, smiling with a big bite in my mouth.

“They’re all for you. I had to sample them this morning.”

Reaching out, I
squeeze her hand.

“Sit and watch the movie.
I can’t believe you named them after me. Seriously, Brynlee, thank you, and I’m glad you’re here.”

***

The movie ends
, and the only light in the room is from the television. I look over and see that Bryn has fallen asleep on the other end of the couch. She’s curled up in a ball, and I feel bad since she’s probably worn out from making those awesome croissants.

I wish I could carry he
r to my bed. Would she flip if she woke up in my arms? I’m taking my chances and at least holding her here. I grab the remote and shut off the TV before I carefully slide behind her on the couch.

After
pulling her back toward me, I wrap my arm around her waist. Mmm, sweet Brynlee. She always smells like sugar. I think the stuff is in her pores, and I love it.

Real brave, Drew. You take advantage of the situation when she’s asl
eep, but you can’t get the courage to show her when she’s awake. Tomorrow’s a new day. Maybe I’ll do it then.

Brynlee

I wake up
pressed against Drew’s chest. My heart starts racing. How did this happen? My face is almost against his neck, and I still smell his clean scent. Did I roll over toward him, and how did he get here in the first place? I realize there is no way I’m getting off this couch without falling unless I wake him.

I savor the moment a little longer. His broad chest makes me feel safe, and the heat
we’re generating gives me the feeling we’re connected. I can’t resist planting a light kiss on his neck. I would feel like the luckiest woman if I could wake up to this every day.

After a couple of minutes, Drew stirs.

“Good morning,” he says.

“Hi. I don’t know how we went from watching the movie to this, but thanks for keeping me warm.”

“You’re welcome. I didn’t want to wake you since you had a long day.”

“I’m afraid I’ll fall
off if I move,” I say.

“I’ll hold on to you while you drag your feet
to the floor. How about that?” He holds me steady while I shift my legs and get a foot planted on the carpet. I stand and straighten my clothes while he sits up on the couch and runs his hands through his hair.

“Um, do you mind giving me a ride hom
e?”

“No, I don’t mind
.”

Drew’s quiet on the way to my apartment, and I sure wish I knew what he was thinking.

“Thanks for a fun evening,” he says after pulling up in front. “Are we still on for tonight, or are you sick of me?”

“Of cours
e, we’re still on. I need to visit Gram later, so will seven work?”

“Sounds great
.” Drew gives me a nervous smile before I get out of his car.

Gram is my
great-grandmother. She has raised me since I was eleven. My great-grandfather died years before, and I never knew my dad or grandpa. It was a pattern in my family for the women to date loser alcoholics. I grew up living with my mom and grandma, but they died in a freak accident, so I was left to live with Gram.

A year and a half ago, I ha
d to put her in a nursing home and sell our home to pay her expenses. I’ve had a lot of changes in the last few years. Drew and Andrea came into my life at the perfect time.

Tish is my o
ther close friend. We’ve known each other since high school. I always say she’s my polar opposite. Tish is outgoing and also more carefree. I think it’s because she has a family she can depend on. I have to be careful every minute since I’m solely responsible for my livelihood.

***

I
slide into the booth next to Drew at the local sports bar we frequent.

“I forgot to tell you A
ndrea’s meeting us here. Do you mind?”

“When have I ever cared?”

“You’re right. Why do I ask?” We order beer, nachos, wings, and I’m set.

“I want to talk to you about something later,” Drew says.

“OK. Do you want to talk now before she gets here?”

“No, later.”

Andrea plops down in the seat across from us.

“What’s up? Thanks for ordering.” She proceeds to pour herself a beer from the pitcher.

“Nothing new. Anything with you?” I ask.

“Restaurant work sucks. I really don’t know how you enjoy manual labor, Brynlee
. I hate being on my feet all day.” She struggles at pulling her arm out of her coat sleeve.

Andrea and I met at the restaurant where she’s a supervisor. I went in one day to sell them on my desserts
, and we hit it off instantly.

“I don’t
enjoy it, but it’s part of the deal if I want to bake and be creative. I’m used to it, I guess.” I bump my shoulder against Drew’s. “Unfortunately, this guy’s mostly on his feet all day, too, since he’s a control freak and has to be in on the action.”

“You think I’m a control freak?”

“Yes, but it’s cute, and it’s one of the reasons you have the busiest coffee shop in all of Portland.”

While we eat and t
alk with Andrea, my thigh rests against Drew’s several times, and he never moves away. I wonder what he wants to talk about.

Andrea keeps getting calls, so Drew asks me if I want to play darts. We begin, and
I can’t help but check him out in his jeans. They’re my favorite pair, and his ass is asking to be squeezed in them.

Drew’s
eyes appear even bluer than normal, too, from the long sleeve, navy t-shirt his biceps are trying to bust out of. He’s hot tonight.

Three women walk up an
d start talking to him. It’s rude. Do they not see we’re in the middle of a game here? He pauses to see what they want, so I go to our booth to get a drink. Andrea is still there talking on her phone. I don’t know how she can hear a damn thing in here.

I’m trying to ac
cept the fact that a woman might come along and snatch Drew from me before we ever have a chance to be together. It’s only a matter of time. I’m staring at him when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see Mark from culinary school.

He was one of my closest male
friends, but we drifted apart after graduation almost two years ago. He’s gay, but you’d never know it unless you got him talking about men.

“Mark, it’s wonderful
to see you. It’s been too long.”

“I agree. How are you? Are you still working at that coffee shop?”
Mark suddenly falls against me.

“Yes, and
you should stop in some time to try one of my pastries. You can tell me if school paid off. Looks like you’ve had a lot to drink already. What are you doing here tonight?” I keep having to stand him back up straight.

“Nursing
a broken heart. My latest broke it off this week. I thought this one was going to last but no such luck.” His glazed over eyes are filling with tears.

“I’m sorry. Why don’t you sit down, and we can talk about it.”

“If you’re sure. You always knew how to bring me out of a funk.” He’s trashed, and I’m curious how he plans on getting home.

He’s ridiculously handsome, and I remember being disappointed w
hen I found out he was gay. He has blonde hair, blue eyes and the most perfect set of teeth. I imagine he has no trouble filling his wounded heart on a regular basis.

Drew

I’m having a great time playing darts with Brynlee when three women approach us. Two of them frequent the coffee shop and strike up a conversation with me. After a few minutes, I glance back to give Bryn an apologetic look but she’s not there.

I look to our booth and see her sitting with a dude. What the fuck? I’ve never seen this guy before.
I have to turn back around since one of the women is telling me a story about having to take coffee to her boss every morning. Like I care about her difficult boss.

All three of them are attractive, but I had a plan in place for tonight, and it’s quickly coming apart.
I felt Brynlee kiss my neck this morning, and it’s all I’ve been able to think about today, so I’ve intended on telling her tonight that I want more.

I take another
glimpse back at our booth and see Brynlee rubbing this guy’s back. Who is he? I’ve never seen her this forward with a guy before. About ten minutes later, when I finally get away from the three women, I go back to our booth.

Brynlee and the man
are nowhere to be found. Andrea is there, but she’s on her damn phone. I slide into the booth and wait for her to hang up.

“Where’s Bryn?”

“She left with some guy. I’m sorry. I was on the phone the whole time he was at the table. I heard something about crying over relationships,” she says, digging in her purse.

“
Brynlee was comforting him for some reason. Oh, and they attended culinary school together.”

“Thanks. I’m heading out then.”

“OK, I think I’ll go, too.”

“Listen, would you mind texti
ng me when Bryn gets in tonight? I don’t want to bother her if she’s with someone, but I worry about her getting home safely.”

“Sure thing
. I’m glad she has you to look out for her. You two should be together. You’d make a great couple, and just so you know, I don’t think Bryn would argue that.”

“Please text me
when she gets home.” What did she mean by that? Has Bryn mentioned liking me? I leave the bar irate. She’s never left me anywhere without saying goodbye, and she’s never left with a guy.

Brynlee has
only had sex once, and it was a bad experience for her. I don’t want her getting hurt again. I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell her how I feel.

Brynlee

Mark is so trashed that he no sooner sits down before he’s telling me he thinks he might get sick. A
ndrea is still taking a call, and I see Drew still chatting it up with the ladies. I can’t believe he’d talk to them this long.

“Mark, why don’t I take you home? You’re in no shape
to drive, and I don’t think you should be in a cab. You might get sick, and it would be disastrous.”

“If you don’t mind. I really need to get out of here.”

I’ve never left Drew without saying goodbye, but this can’t wait, and he’s being rude and so is Andrea. I help Mark to his car and get in the driver seat.

“If you think you’re going to puke, please tell me, and I’ll pull over.”

“OK, just go, honey.”

Yeah, he’s going to get sick. I don’t even get a mile down the road befor
e I’m pulling over. I have to do this twice before I get to his house.

I help him up the stairs as
he fumbles with his keys. The next thing I know, he’s hurling in the bushes. I snatch his keys from him and finally find the one to his door. This night went from promising to a cluster fuck.

Once
inside, I lead him to the couch. He’s too heavy leaning on me to get him any farther. I find his bathroom and grab a small garbage can. He begins crying as I set it on the floor next to him. Really? I can’t leave him like this.

“Mark, where are some blankets?”

“The closet in the hallway,” he manages to get out between cries. I go and gather a couple of blankets. After I cover him up and sit next to him for a few minutes, rubbing his back, I tell him to try to sleep.

I get in his recliner, and t
his shows that you never know how your day is going to go. I feel guilty for leaving Drew, so I get my phone out of my pocket and send him a text.

Me:
Sorry I bailed, but I ran into a guy from college. I’m at his place. Long story. I figured you wouldn’t care since you were busy chatting it up with those women.

That was probably mean of me, but maybe it’s time to hint that I’m a little jealous. He quickly responds.

Drew:
Sorry. I tried to get away, but you sure didn’t waste any time leaving. See you Monday.

Well, that was
definitely short. I guess he’s pissed I didn’t say goodbye. He’s probably worried I’ll be slashed by a serial killer, or maybe he thinks I had too much to drink, which I didn’t.

I had one glass from
that damn pitcher. Anyway, I need to sleep, so I can get the hell out of here in the morning.