I'm Holding On (5 page)

Brynlee

It’s Wednesday around noon, and I’m nervous about my date with Ian. I’m also nervous being in the same vicinity as Drew. He’s been overly attentive since Saturday when he kissed the corner of my mouth and apologized after. Who does that? Is he trying to make me feel more rejected?

It figures that after
two years of wishing for that day, he did it when another man had his lips on mine only minutes before. It’s odd because as much as I wanted Drew to kiss me, I was still feeling giddy from spending time with Ian. I’m so confused.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, causing me to jump. I realize I’ve been daydreaming with a spatula in my hand.
It’s a text message from Ian.

Ian:
I’m looking forward to our date. The sweets were delicious, but I still find you sweeter. See you soon.

Me:
That’s kind of you to say. I’m looking forward to our date, as well. How should I dress?

Ian:
I’m sure you’re beautiful in anything … or nothing, but I’m taking you somewhere nice if that’s what you’re wondering.

Me
: Settle down there, smooth talker. See you soon.

I jump
again when I hear the kitchen door open. It’s Drew. “What’s with the cheesy grin? You’re even a little red in the cheeks.”

Should I tell him I have a date?
I think I will.

“Um, I have a
date tonight, and the guy just texted me.”

He was smiling, but now he’s not
. Is he jealous or feeling overprotective again?

“Who is it?”

“A guy I met after work Friday. I actually went to lunch with him before I met you at the park Saturday, and he asked me out again.

“
No one ever seems interested in me, and he acted very interested. I guess I spend too much time here to meet anyone.” I’m not the nicest when I say this. He’s really frustrating me.

“Please be careful since you barely know him.”

I roll my eyes. “OK, big brother.”

Drew comes toward me with a very serious look on his f
ace. He gets within inches of mine and puts a few strands of my stray hairs behind my ear. Then he wipes powdered sugar off my nose, which is a thing between us.

“You have sugar on your nose, and please don’t call me that. I t
old you that I don’t think of you as a sister.” He slowly dips down and kisses my cheek, sending a prickly feeling throughout my body.

“Have fun tonight, but please don’t have too much fun. It’s too soon.” He turns and
leaves the kitchen. His words gave nothing away but his actions did. Could he have gotten any closer? Oh, he’s driving me insane! I need to put my focus back on this date I’m terrified yet excited to go on.

Ian

I pick Brynlee up at her apartment, and she looks incredible in a burgundy dress that is showing a good amount of cleavage. It hits enough above the knees to be suggestive and clings to her, leaving me even more surprised at how curvaceous she is.

“Ready? You look gorgeous
by the way.”

She smiles
, and my heart rate quickens. I can’t recall a woman ever having this effect on my body or my emotions, and it’s freaking the shit out of me.

I take her to El Gaucho
, a restaurant that has the right ambiance for a romantic date. After we sit, I immediately notice the dim lighting reflecting in her round, brown eyes. She seems extremely nervous.

“
I promise I’m not a serial killer,” I say.

“Oh, sorry. Do I look worried?” she asks with a faint smile.

“A little.”

“There’s um … a certain way
you look at me. It makes me nervous.” She turns her head away, which I’ve already noticed is something she does anytime she’s uncomfortable. I’m relieved to know I’m having the same effect on her as she is on me.

“Would you please share what
thought goes through your head when I look at you this certain way?”

“
Um, I know we’re not in court, but can I plead the fifth? I’m an honest person. I’ll have to tell the truth if you push this.”

I give her a w
hopping grin. “Oh, now you have me very curious. I would like to know.”

“You play dirty.
OK, the look you give me makes me feel as if you want to devour every inch of me, but maybe that’s a bit presumptuous on my part.” She looks away and pulls her bottom lip through her teeth. “I can’t believe I said that.”

I want to take hold of that bottom lip
and drag it between my teeth. “It appears you see right through me. That’s exactly what I’m thinking when I give you that look, but getting to put my hands and mouth on every inch of you isn’t really up to me, now is it?”

I watch her swallow hard, and then she stares right into my eyes.
“No, it isn’t, but I appreciate your honesty and it’s flattering.”

I have to get us off this topic. I’m already hard
, and we haven’t even ordered drinks. She’s a brave woman having the nerve to share that. “Would you like wine?”

“Tha
t sounds lovely.”

I order a bottle of white
, and the waiter soon brings it out. “Did you pick a good wine from the fine selection at the liquor store?” I ask, chuckling.

She giggles, and damn
, I love her laugh.

“I already knew w
hite was my favorite, but I was feeling reckless, so I bought a red.”

“Wow, you sound like a real rebel.
” Our dinner is served, and we talk between eating. I can’t believe she hasn’t drilled me about my family. Most people in the area who know about my father’s firm are aware my family is wealthy.

W
omen I’ve taken out when living here like to pry to find out exactly how well off we are. I get the impression that money is not a driving force for Brynlee. I like it. Definitely not for myself, but I find it a great quality in her.

Brynlee

I think dinner with
Ian is going well, but I’m still nervous. I need to slow down on the wine before my better judgment becomes impaired. Ian is like the car I shouldn’t drive while intoxicated.

“
What else do you enjoy besides baking me sweets and drinking wine?” He’s grinning. I don’t think I’ve ever been around a bigger flirt.

“I enjoy
reading, and I love art, so I frequent the local galleries. I also run almost daily.”

“Is that why you have gorgeous legs?”

“That’s why they’re toned,” I say with a smirk.

“You sure find me
humorous.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not used to getting compliments the way that you give them.”

“And how do I give them?” he asks.

“Again? Really? I need to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the evening.”

“Come on. You need to enlighten me on how I give you compliments.”

“U
m, you say them seductively.” I cover my mouth with one hand to hold in my laugh and reach straight for my wine with the other. He brings out this boldness I didn’t know I had. I think it’s because he’s so comfortable in his own skin and wouldn’t shock easily, so I feel it’s safe to speak my mind.

“It sounds as if
you’re not used to being desired the way you deserve to be. You’re a sexy woman, Brynlee.”

I shift in my chair. His compliment doesn’
t seem funny this time. Instead, he’s turning me on. The way he looks at me causes a deep ache between my legs, and those piercing, green eyes are telling me the future.

“Tha
nk you. I find you sexy and very handsome. Um, I should probably be getting home soon. I have to work early in the morning.”

I’m feeling intimidated by my lack of experience in the bedroom. I don’t see how I could ever be en
ough for Ian. He’s too good-looking and charming not to have been with some classy women.

“
I guess it is getting late.”

Ian parks in front of my apartment.

“Can I walk you up?”

“OK.”
I don’t know what he’s expecting from a second date. My heart is racing, and I feel my short, shallow breaths as we approach the door. I get my key out and turn around.

Sweet Jesus
, he’s inches away and giving me that look again. He takes hold of my face with both hands and plants his warm lips on mine. I can’t help parting them, and his tongue is quickly in my mouth, sweeping it with voracity. I grab hold of his waist in need of something to ground me.

Touching Ian only
causes him to deepen our kiss. My nerves feel as if they’ve been brought to life as his fingertips caress the back of my head, and his tongue attentively strokes mine.

I’ve never shared this
passionate of a moment with anyone, and I think I won’t be able to stop if this goes on much longer. God, the way his tongue twirls with mine makes me think of all the things he could do with it if I gave him the opportunity. I pull away, breathing heavy.

“Brynl
ee, you are impossible to resist.” His fiery breath is on my face, and all I can think about is his mouth lingering along every part of my needy body.

“Look, I’m sorry I let that cont
inue until we’re both worked up. You need to know I don’t move that fast. I’d like you to come in, but it wouldn’t be for sex. It sounds cliché, but I’m not that kind of girl.”

H
e kisses my forehead and runs his hands down the length of my hair. “I know. You’re special, Brynlee. If you really don’t mind, I’d love to come in.”

I nod as I get my
breathing under control and stop my legs from attempting to buckle. How am I going to resist him? With trembling hands, I manage to get the door open.

“Have a seat wherever you like,” I say with a chuckle. There’s a
couch. Period. “The apartment is small, but I’m trying to save money.” I turn on some music.

“You listen to blues?” he asks.

“I love it, and I’ve been listening to the younger guys lately like Jonny Lang and Kenny Wayne Shepherd. I could listen to the song ‘Blue on Black’ every day.”

“I really enjoy blues, too.”

I ask Ian if he minds if I change. I put on a pair of jeans and a blue, button up blouse before looking in the mirror. Take a deep breath, Brynlee. You can spend time with a man besides Drew. You just need practice.

I stroll back to the living room and watch Ian’s eyes check me out before I take a seat on the couch next to him. He turns his body to face me.

“I bet you would even look gorgeous in a muumuu.”

My hand flies to my mouth, and I
can’t help but burst into laughter. “How do you know what a muumuu is?”

He laughs, too, and then rests his hand on my knee.

“My grandmother wore them. Aside from when she went out in public, I don’t think I ever saw her in anything other than those ugly nightgowns. Granted, she probably wore the most expensive ones, but a muumuu is a muumuu, and I’m saying that you’d look gorgeous in one.”

“Why Mr. Williams, I think that’s one of the sexiest things anyone has ever said to me. To think I worried you lacked charm.” I grin and bat my lashes.

His hand strokes my hair.

“Y
ou’re so fucking adorable,” he says.

I can’t stop from leaning over to kiss him. As soon as our lips m
eet our tongues are quickly in sync, licking and tasting, darting in and out as his hand moves up my thigh.

We’re
heated in record time, and the next thing I know, he’s lowering me to the other end of the couch, his trim yet defined body on top of me. My hands slide up under the back of his shirt, and the feel of his scorching, bare skin warms me in an instant.

The rumbling groan from Ian’s chest vibrates against mine as his lips move to my ear, his tongue circling it faintly. Chills shoot through me, and I can’t help but arch my head back and my hips upward.

He growls as his lips travel to my neck. I’m discovering Ian has a gift for making circles with his fingers, mouth, and especially his tongue. About the time I feel his erection pressing against my thigh, he stops moving.

He then shifts
to where he’s on his side, his back against the sofa, so I turn my body to face his. We’re both now stretched out, and he has his arm draped around me, so I don’t fall off.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you,
” I say.

“Don’t apologize
. I love kissing you, but if we continue, other things will happen along with it.” He smirks and presses his lips to my forehead. “Talk to me. Tell me what you enjoy doing besides drinking wine, baking me sweets, and now kissing me.”

Ian and I begin discussing music.
The conversation lasts a long time as we talk about the blues musicians we like, concerts we’ve been to and other genres we enjoy.

He wants to know what I love about art, so I fill him in, and he genuinely seems interested as I blab away.

“You’ve given me a better lesson than any art teacher has,” he says.

We make out off
and on, and when we get too worked up, which is every time, one of us pulls away.

“I need to get my breath before you kiss me
like that again,” I say as I try to roll onto my back to get more air. I forgot there’s not room and fall off the couch. My hands on my chest, and I’m laughing so hard until Ian stifles it with his mouth.

He’s on top of me,
his tongue sweeping with his signature circles. It finds mine and strokes it sensually, leisurely giving me a mix of lust and longing.

“Mmm,”
I murmur.

“I want you,” he says against my lips.

Our fingers barely crawl through each other’s hair, and the tingling sensation travels from my head to my toes, causing them to curl.

His erection presses against me again, but he seems only focused on
the ecstasy our mouths are creating. It’s heightened yet tender, making me wet with need and hungry for more. My hair twirls lazily in his fingers, and I’m in heaven.

His mouth moves to
my ear, and I’m heaving for air.

“
You’re wanting something. I feel it. Tell me what you want, baby, and I’ll do it,” he whispers.

“I can’
t have what I want, not yet, but this is heaven.”

“Yes, it is.
” He gives me a short, gentle kiss before he helps me back to the couch.

To take my mind away from sex,
I ask him to tell me about grad school, so he educates me on law and the bar exam he’ll soon take. He has me giggling throughout the night from stories about his professors to pranks he and his buddies played on each other at Columbia.

Sometimes we’re
quiet, gazing at each other for minutes at a time, his breath warming me, a thumb skimming my cheek, fingers tangling in my hair. My eyes close from the relaxing sensation.

I think Ian Williams has been wearing a disguise around other women because this man is kind, gentle and burrowing his way into my heart.