In the After (29 page)

I motioned for the Minder to come out and she crawled forward on her hands and knees,
painfully loud. I put my mouth to her ear.

“What’s through that connecting door?” I whispered.

“Class Two dorm room,” she said, her whisper loud with desperation. “There are kids
in there now, under the beds. We came from the room next door when we heard the screams
outside.”

“Get the kids in there,” I said. She looked at me blankly. “Now. Quickly and quietly,”
I ordered in a hushed tone.

The Minder waved the children out from under the tables and herded them into the adjoining
room. I helped, but stayed focused on the door. We were making a lot of noise and
it was only a matter of time. I searched the small kitchen they used for snack time
and found a couple of knives. I shoved one in my waistband and handed the other to
the Minder before she left the room.

“Keep silent,” I cautioned. “If one breaks through the door, go for its neck.” She
took the knife with trembling hands. “And turn off the lights.”

She nodded once and quietly closed the door. It was silent as a graveyard, but the
Floraes knew we were there. Within seconds there was a scratching at the door, then
a frenzied panting. With the sonic emitters back up and running, They were agitated.
There was nowhere to hide from the noise.

In a few short moments, the creatures were almost through the door. I didn’t know
how many there were, but I was guessing more than I had bullets for. I took a deep
breath. I’d hold them off for as long as I could. If I wounded a few, They would start
feeding on each other. I could buy some time.

The door creaked and pressed inward. I aimed, ready to shoot as soon as it broke open,
as soon as I saw the green gleam of a Florae’s head. My heart thudded, but my hands
didn’t shake. I knew I could kill Them. They’d bottleneck through the door, and a
bullet was still faster than a Florae.

Then, abruptly, it stopped. No more noise, no more scraping, no more snarls. I stepped
back cautiously, keeping my gun raised. Then the door began to open.

“Amy!” Gareth yanked off his hood, shocked. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

“There’s a bunch of Class Twos in the other room.” I motioned over my shoulder.

“Stay here with them while we clean up. We think we got them all, but the Elite Eight
are still on the prowl outside.”

I nodded, weak with relief, too exhausted to speak. He looked at me. “Those dead Floraes
in the other room . . .?”

“I took care of them, but I couldn’t save the chil—” I didn’t want to cry. Not there.
Not yet.

“You did a good job,” Gareth told me. He pulled his hood back up and stepped lightly
out of the room.

I backed against the door, slid down, and collapsed in a heap. I began to shake as
the adrenaline left my body. I wondered how many people were dead. I hugged my knees
and waited for Gareth to come back and tell us it was all over.

• • •

“Is it over?” I ask Dr. Thorpe
.

She leans over my bed. “Is what over?”

“The attack.” I look up at her
.

“That was months ago,” she tells me. “You’re in the Ward now.”

I close my eyes. “My mind is full of holes,” I say
.

“I’m sorry for that. It’s partially an adverse reaction to your shock treatments and
partially the medication that you’re on.” I can feel her hovering over me. “Amy, I’m
going to untie your arms now. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” I open my eyes. There are several other people in my room. A nurse and a couple
of orderlies
.

Dr. Thorpe follows my gaze. “They’re only here as a precaution,” she explains as she
frees my wrists from the restraints
.

I flex my hands. “Thank you, Dr. Thorpe.”

“You’re welcome, Amy.” She turns to the orderlies. “Would you mind standing outside?
I think Ms. Harris will be more comfortable if it’s less crowded.” As they leave she
calls after them, “Stay close, though.”

The nurse stands near Dr. Thorpe as they look over my chart. “I just don’t understand,”
Dr. Thorpe mutters. “The medication that Dr. Reynolds prescribed doesn’t seem to be
helping her. She continues to be confused and unresponsive.”

“Do you think Dr. Reynolds’s diagnosis was wrong?” the nurse asks doubtfully
.

“No, of course not,” Dr. Thorpe says hurriedly. “I just fear that Dr. Reynolds may
be a little too liberal with the medication. Keep her on the restricted dosage for
now. We’ll see how she does.”

“And her other restrictions?”

“Let’s leave her to her room for today. If there are no problems she can begin to
mingle with the other patients tomorrow. Make sure she’s escorted by an orderly at
all times. We don’t want Ms. Harris to become overwhelmed.”

Before she leaves, I ask Dr. Thorpe again about the attack. “Why does it feel like
it was only yesterday?”

“It’s part of your condition, Amy. Unfortunately for you, the electroshock treatments
only made things worse.”

“Will my memories come back?” I ask, my voice betraying my anxiety
.

“I don’t know for certain,” she admits. “But maybe if you focus on what you do remember,
it will help to fill in the blanks.”

I take her advice and think back to the night of the attack, trying to remember
.

• • •

It was an hour before the Guardians were sure New Hope was secure. When I got home,
my mother was waiting for me, cradling Adam in her arms. “Amy,” she cried, making
a strangled noise.

“Mom! Are you okay?” I ran to her and hugged her and Adam at the same time. I reached
for Baby as well, squishing her to us.

“Amy, what possessed you to run off like that? You could have been killed!” My mother
pulled away and peered into my face, gripping my arms tightly. “Are you hurt? Did
one bite you?”

“No, I’m fine.” I didn’t know how to explain. “Mom . . . I had to help.” The more
Floraes I killed, the fewer people they could slaughter. “They don’t know how to deal
with them. No one here . . . Rice—is he okay?”

“Yes. Rice was working late in the lab.” She paused. “Oh, Amy honey, I know that you
survived out there with the Floraes, but you’re not a Guardian. You don’t have the
proper training, the right equipment.” She sighed heavily. “I’m assuming you’re the
one who took the gun from my room?”

“I had to,” I say, unable to meet her gaze. “The Guardians took it from me, but I’ll
get it back.”

“I’ll take care of it.” My mother rubbed her forehead with her palm and I could see
the strain and guilt etched on her face. “Now that you’re here, I’m sorry, but I have
to go. We’re in a state of emergency . . . I can’t believe this happened.”

“I understand, Mom. It’s all right.” I reached for Adam. “You can go. I’ll stay put.”

“Okay.” She placed Adam in my arms and kissed his head. He was awake but subdued.
She leaned in to kiss the top of my head as well. “Amy, I’m proud of you for trying
to help,” she told me. “But I’m more grateful that you’re safe.”

I grimaced. I didn’t even think of my mother when I went to fight the Floraes. I didn’t
wonder if she was okay or how she would feel if I died; it was like I was back in
the After, with no one but Baby.

My mother gathered her computer bag and looked at me with a sad smile. She kissed
Adam again, then me, before heading to the door.

“I love you.” I needed her to know it.

“I love you too, Amy.” She stopped at the door. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” she told
me without turning around.

I didn’t know if she meant tonight or three years ago. It didn’t matter. The nightmares
of Them had returned and I wondered if they had ever really left.

• • •

“Frank, you know you have to take your meds.” Dr. Thorpe is talking to someone in
the hall. I peek out my door to get a good look at him. He’s about my age, maybe a
few years older. He has dark skin with curly brown hair
.

Later, in the common room, I sit across from him, staring. Trying to remember. Dr.
Thorpe was right. If I focus long enough on a memory, the rest comes to me. Sometimes
slowly, sometimes in a flash. It took me all afternoon to piece together what happened
after the attack, but I remembered my time in the Ward in a rush, the parts I was
conscious for anyway
.

Suddenly it hits me, who the young man is
.

“You’re Frank?” I ask
.

He looks at me, his dark eyes dull
.

“I heard about a Frank who was in my Advanced Theory class.”

A spark of understanding glints in his eyes and he speaks without turning toward me.
“I’m not crazy. I’m in here because of what I learned about the Floraes.”

“What did you learn?” I whisper, my chest tight
.

He turns to me. “You don’t want to know.”

“I do . . . I do want to know. Tell me,” I plead
.

“You don’t.” He raises his voice. “You don’t want to know.” He was yelling now, and
the orderly who escorted me from my room rushes over and tries to calm him. I sit
in my chair, concentrating, wanting desperately to understand
.

“Amy, you’re sweating. Did Frank upset you?” a nurse asks
.

I nod vaguely and she leads me to my room, where I’m left to wonder what Frank discovered
about the Floraes, what he’s afraid to say out loud
.

• • •

School was canceled the next morning while New Hope recovered. We weren’t supposed
to leave our apartments. I tried to call Vivian, but a voice kept prompting me for
an emergency access code. All the lines were being held for official use.

I watched the news for a while, but I couldn’t stand hearing the names of the dead
read over and over, each time with new additions. They announced them alphabetically,
so Vivian would be near the front. After they skipped over Alvarez for the third time,
I flipped to cartoons for Baby.

There was a knock at the door and I yelled, “Come in.” Rice appeared in the living
room. “Rice!” I was so happy to see him I jumped off the couch. I ran at him, nearly
knocking him off his feet with a leap of a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here. My mom told me that you were okay. I thought we weren’t
supposed to leave our homes,” I said, giving him an extra squeeze.

“The director’s assistant gets special privileges.” He was holding me tight and kissed
my head. “I had to stop by, especially after I heard about what you did last night.”

“My mother told you?” I asked, breaking away.

“Haven’t you been watching the news?”

“I needed a break from the death toll and I didn’t think it was good for Baby.”

“Here.” Rice took the remote and switched the channel. Baby was watching us, grinning.

I’m happy you’re here, Rice
.

To my surprise, he replied,
Hello, Baby. I show Amy television
.

“Rice, I didn’t know you were learning our sign language.” I was impressed. I realized
I’d have to watch what I said to Baby around him.

“. . . she saved us,” the TV blared and I recognized the Minder from last night. “If
it wasn’t for her all those children would have been killed. I would have died.” The
Minder was crying and someone handed her a tissue. “She’s a hero.”

“That’s not what happened,” I started to say, but then the newswoman continued.

“There are rumors that Amy Harris plans to take the Guardian test after she classes
out. The director has no comment at this time.”

I turned to Rice. “Did you mention to anyone that I wanted to be a Guardian? Like
maybe Dr. Reynolds?” Dr. Reynolds saw me leave the Rumble Room, but what good would
announcing it do? I was sure he would have control over what was said on the news.
Wouldn’t he rather no one knew I was breaking the rules?

Rice shook his head. “No . . . I knew you were up to something with Kay, and after
all of your Guardian questions at the party, I’d have to be pretty dense not to figure
it out. I haven’t told anyone, though.”

“You don’t think Vivian said something, do you? She’s the only other person I told.”
I couldn’t imagine Vivian gossiping after she promised she wouldn’t.

“I don’t think she said anything, but Amy, I have to tell you something. It’s why
I came over.” His face turned dark as he took my hand, squeezing it softly.

“What?” I asked, even though I got the feeling that I didn’t want to know. “What is
it?”

“Amy, I’m so sorry. It’s Vivian,” he said, looking into my eyes. “She’s on the list
of the dead.”

“Amy.” Rice takes a seat next to me in the common room. He looks at me with a kind
smile. “It’s me, Rice.”

“I know.” I smile back and my heart pounds loudly. “How are you?” I try not to sound
too excited
.

“Good. I just came from visiting Baby. . . .”

“Baby! How is she?” I ask desperately, any pretense of composure discarded. I haven’t
seen her for a while, not since her visit with Dr. Reynolds. And how long ago was
that?

“She’s fine. I promised I would help her.”

“You promised to protect her,” I say quietly. I focus on the memory, but it eludes
me. Why does Baby need protection? I try hard to concentrate. “You told me something.
. . .”

“Shhhh.” Rice motions with his eyes to the corner of the room and I follow his gaze
to the camera mounted in the corner. Standing underneath it, an orderly watches us.
I nod, understanding that I need to be careful
.

I lick my lips and choose my words cautiously. “There was a medicine that I was given;
it was very effective. It improved my condition.”

Rice turns his blue eyes on me again. “I’ll speak with Dr. Reynolds about your treatment
options.” He puts his hand in mine and signs
, Be patient and play nice.

I take a deep breath, trying not to react
. I will,
I promise him. He must have learned our secret signing from Baby. How much does he
know?