In the After (35 page)

Jenny smiled. “See. It can be done,” she told the group.

I breathed a sigh of relief. In the end, only four other people passed.

“Last trial, guys.” Jenny yelled. We followed her back into the Rumble Room and up
the stairs to the second floor, where I’d never been before. She sat us in a room,
then came to collect us one by one. I saw the others leave and wondered what was going
to happen next.

“Amy, you’re up,” Jenny said, smiling. I followed her down the hall to a black door.

“Go inside,” she ordered. Taking a deep breath, I put my fingers on the handle and
pushed. I entered a small room with a large machine. Old-fashioned headphones hung
off it, dangling toward an empty chair.

“Have a seat, Amy,” Nick said. “We’re just going to test your hearing.”

I barked out a laugh. “A hearing test? Shouldn’t you do this first?”

“Just put on the headphones,” Nick grumbled. “You’re going to hear several beeps,
sometimes in your left ear, sometimes your right, and sometimes both. If you hear
a beep in your left ear, raise your left hand. If you hear a beep in your right ear
. . .”

“I think I’ve got it,” I snapped, feeling silly I’d gotten all worked up over a stupid
hearing test.

After passing, I went back downstairs, where all the surviving applicants had gathered.
Of the two hundred—plus people who began, only about twenty remained.

Kay appeared. “Congratulations! You have today to move your things into the barracks.
You’ll begin your training first thing tomorrow morning . . . unless any of you think
you’re ready to take the final trial. We highly recommend that you train first.”

“I’ll take it,” I said. There were a few sharp intakes of breath but none of the Guardians
were surprised.

“All right, kiddo.” Kay smiled. “Let’s get you suited up and ready to go. The locker
room is this way,” she told me as if I didn’t already know.

I followed her and headed to the locker where my synth-suit was already waiting.

“You did remarkably well today,” Kay said. I ignored the rare compliment and pulled
open my locker. After I retrieved the contents, I shakily slammed the door. “Are you
okay?” Kay asked.

I turned to her. “I’m just . . .” I searched for the right word. My entire future
depended on how I performed next. If I didn’t get control of my nerves, I’d be in
trouble. I couldn’t afford to fail, not if I wanted to stay in New Hope.

“I can’t tell you what the test is, Amy. You need to succeed by yourself, or we can’t
make you a Guardian. This isn’t fun and games. You could get seriously hurt.”

“Has anyone died during this test?” I hadn’t allowed myself to wonder about the physical
danger I might be in.

“Just put on the synth-suit and meet me outside.”

I pulled on the soft, strong material of the synth-suit. It hugged my body snuggly
and I was comforted by the softness against my skin. I stretched, shook out my arms
and legs, trying to stay calm.

I rechecked my weapons: a Guardian gun and two knives. Both knives were intact and
real, no practice knives this time. I tucked one into each leg sheath and walked slowly
back to the Rumble Room, where Kay and the Guardians were waiting. Everyone was gathered
around Marcus.

“What’s going on?” I asked Nick.

“Not sure, but your test has been postponed.”

“It’s more important now than ever,” Marcus was almost shouting, “that the Guardians
are one cohesive unit. The final test needs a higher level of rigor for the security
of us all and the greater good of New Hope.”

I heard a snort behind me and turned to catch Gareth roll his eyes.

“Dr. Reynolds has devised some new tests, trials that each potential Guardian will
have to pass. These tests are still in the works, so until then, there will be no
new Guardians.”

“What about Amy?” Kay asked. “She has to have her test. . . .”

Marcus looked at me, already in my synth-suit. “I think Amy has proven herself time
and again.”

“Well, that’s for damn sure,” Gareth said from behind me.

“Unless you object, Kay, I think we should approve Amy’s Guardian status.” Marcus
looked at her levelly. “It’s your decision.”

Kay met his gaze, her face stony. “We’ll have to get the committee’s approval. . . .”

“We can bring it to them tonight.” Marcus’s smile was mocking. “I’m sure they’ll give
their consent.”

Kay considered. “Amy’s in,” she said at last.

I released the breath I was holding. “So that’s it?” I asked. “I’m a Guardian now?”

“Looks like.” Kay patted me on the shoulder and the other Guardians clapped. She leaned
in and whispered, “I don’t know what Marcus and his military cronies are up to, but
you do deserve this.”

I wanted to hug her but I knew she wasn’t the hugging type. I let my exhaustion sink
in. I just wanted to go tell Baby and my mother that I passed.

Marcus approached me with a weird, satisfied look on his face. “Okay, Amy, your first
job as a Guardian is to retrieve the trail markers we used for the run. You can put
them in the Rumble Room office.”

“All right.” I was tired and disappointed to have to do such a tedious chore, but
at least I was a Guardian.

Five minutes into my task, I heard Marcus’s voice again. “Amy!”

My hand went to my communicator in my hood at my ear. “Yes. I’m here.”

“We’re going to do some stealth training. When you’re done, meet us out by the dairy
farm, in the western field. Do you know it?”

“Yeah, sure,” I told him. I quickly gathered up the rest of the flags and dropped
them off in the Rumble Room. After that, I hustled toward the pasture. When I reached
the field, I immediately knew that something was wrong. There were no other Guardians.
They should have already been there.

“Hello?” I called uncertainly. I reached again to the communicator at my ear. Pressing
it anxiously, I realized it was disabled.

I heard a sound across the field. Drawing my gun, I turned quickly and scanned the
field, trying to find the source of the noise. “It’s not smart to taunt someone with
a loaded gun,” I yelled. Too late I realized my mistake.

I took an involuntary step back as a flash of green shot across the field, headed
straight for me. I aimed and fired, but my gun jammed. I pulled the trigger several
times before I tossed it aside, wasting precious seconds. I fumbled for my knives,
finally grabbing them from my leg sheaths. I gripped them tightly, taking a wide stance
as I was taught. This was real. That bastard Marcus set me up.
I had to fight a Florae
.

Too fast, it ran into me at full force and I was knocked to the grass. Claws raked
across my abdomen, trying to eviscerate me. My synth-suit protected me from being
torn to shreds, but pain came every time the creature dug into my body. As it pummeled
me, I took my knife and thrust upward, cutting into soft tissue. The Florae didn’t
care. It continued to tear at me, trying to sink its teeth into my flesh. Hot putrid
breath hit me. Panicked, I stabbed at its head and managed to slash the knife across
the creature’s face. I thrust again and the blade hit its eye socket, meeting little
resistance. It was like cutting through soft butter. If I could just get to the brain
I knew I could kill it, but the creature pulled away.

Screaming, I pushed with all my strength and the creature fell back awkwardly. I jumped
to my feet. I only had a few seconds—but something about the Florae was strange.

There was a glint at its neck, familiar but out of place. I didn’t have enough time
to ponder, because the creature was on top of me again. It went for my face and the
stink from its mouth made me retch. Its remaining eye looked right at me, yellow and
milky.

It tried to bite my chin and the force alone left me gasping from the pain. I sliced
upward, aiming for its neck, knowing that was the only way I could escape, the only
way I would make it out alive.

I jabbed again and again, and I could feel the warmth from the creature’s blood through
the synth-suit. It refused to give up. I delivered blow after blow, but each of my
stabs was less effective.

Finally I pierced the Florae’s neck and I dug in the knife. The creature fell backward.
I dropped to my knees, sucking warm air into my lungs, fighting to stay conscious.
I could breathe again.

The creature’s arms and legs were wriggling, twitching disturbingly, and I was filled
with a hatred so intense my chest burned. The Florae reached for me as I approached,
but its head was twisted, half of its neck cut away. Its claws weakly scraped my leg,
but there was no longer power behind its swipes.

I brought my knife down again severing its neck while blood squirted onto the ground.
A putrid scent hit my nostrils, like rotten eggs.

Only when its head was completely removed did it finally lay still, its hunger extinguished.
I collapsed on the ground.

Eventually I heard someone calling my name. I looked up. Kay was running toward me
from across the field. “Amy, I swear I didn’t know!” She was out of breath and looked
more unsettled than I’d ever seen her.

“Was that my test?” I asked dumbly.

“Yes.” She crouched down beside me. “Normally we would do it in the Rumble Room with
snipers trained on the Florae. I don’t know what Dr. Reynolds is playing at, but he
forced this on us at the last minute. Said it would be more . . . true to life. I
had complete faith in you and we made sure you were equipped properly, that you had
a synth-suit and a gun.” She looked at the carnage of the decapitated creature. “The
knives were supposed to be for backup.”

I felt deadened from what she was telling me.
Dr. Reynolds
. “My gun . . . jammed.” I pointed to where I’d tossed it earlier and Kay retrieved
it, examining it closely.

“You’re missing the firing pin.”

“Is that part of the test too?” I asked shakily. I was still working to process the
information. That was my test. I could have died.

“No . . . Marcus,” she growled. “That bastard must have sabotaged the gun. Why?”

It all came together. Marcus did it because Dr. Reynolds wanted me out of the picture.
Sure, my death would distress my mother, but she’d be proud if I died trying to defend
New Hope. Better than having Dr. Reynolds commit me to the Ward, where I’d always
be at the back of my mother’s mind. Better to get rid of me for good.

“I think we should tell everyone that the gun malfunctioned.” I looked at Kay. “Tell
them that I will make a fine Guardian. That I’m dedicated to defending New Hope.”
I knew I’d have to make them trust me. I couldn’t live my life always looking over
my shoulder, wondering which of the Guardians were trying to kill me.

Kay studied me for a moment, nodding her agreement. “All right. That’s what we’ll
tell the other Guardians, but I promise, Marcus isn’t going to get away with this.”

Kay helped me to my feet as the sun glinted off something on the gory ground, the
same sparkle I saw before, caught in the terror of the fight. I knelt next to the
dead creature, studying its slashed neck.

My blood ran cold at what I saw in front of me. I reached down and picked up a small
gold cross on a gold chain.

Vivian’s necklace.

I’ve been taking the pills that Gareth gave me for two weeks. All the gaps have been
filled in, all the fog has cleared. I remember everything now. It came to me in bits
and pieces, returning slowly, painfully real. Sickening. Why did it take so long?

Because I didn’t want to remember
.

A part of me was happy to sleep all day, to become nothing
.

I look at the pills in the cup the nurse hands me. It would be so simple. I could
just take them and stop taking the antidote. I could forget again. But I won’t
.

If I did, I would be no better than them
.

I had wanted the truth so badly. I thought it would be easier to face the world as
it was, Florae infested, if I just knew where They came from. What They were
.

I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Gareth once told me that ignorance was bliss
and I’d responded that ignorance was dangerous. We were both right. But which was
better?

If I’d chosen to remain ignorant, would I be happier? If I’d chosen to leave it alone,
not to pry, would I still have my family, still have Baby? I knew that was not an
option. I would never have left it alone. I would never have given up
.

I made my choice and there is no going back
.

• • •

“Where is my mother?” I asked Rice. I caught him just as he was leaving a restricted
area.

“Amy, I thought you had your training test today. What happened? How did it go?” He
regarded me, bewildered. I’d showered and changed out of my synth-suit, but I know
I still had a wild look in my eyes.

“I passed,” I told him. “I’m a Guardian now.”

“That’s great! I knew you would.” He grinned and hugged me, and I almost lost my resolve
and melted into his arms. But I pulled back quickly.

“Where is my mother?” I asked again.

“Working.” His smile faded. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Take me to her.”

“I—I can’t. She’s in a restricted area.”

I willed myself to appear calm. “I just want to tell her that I’m a Guardian now.”

“She’ll be really proud.” Rice nodded. “But you know I can’t let you inside.”

With a flash of insight I decided to change tactics. I grabbed him in a bear hug.
“I’m just so happy, Rice. I’ve wanted this for so long. . . .”

“Oh . . . I know, Amy. I think things are really going to work out for you now.” When
I let go, he looked flushed but relieved.

“You’re coming to my birthday party later, aren’t you?” I asked. “Baby will be happy
to see you.”

“Of course. We have even more to celebrate now.”

I nodded and walked away, pretending I was heading for home, but then I ducked around
the building and waited for Rice to leave. I felt bad deceiving him, but I had no
choice. After he was gone, I headed back to the black door, armed with the key card
I’d stolen from his pocket.