In the Air (17 page)

When we walked outside, the sun was low in the sky. As we continued down the street, neither of us said a word. I didn't want the day to end, but I wasn't sure if Samson felt the same way.

"There's this great Italian restaurant nearby called Salumeria Rosi, if you want to stop and grab some food before heading back." Samson stopped walking and reached for my elbow.

I looked at the face I had studied all afternoon. I had memorized each line, the mole that stood out under his right eye, and the way he quickly licked his lips before speaking.

"Like a date?"

"Like a getting-to-know-one-another type thing." This time, he licked his lips after he spoke.

"That's a great idea. It'll give me more material to make fun of you." I reached up to lightly slap his cheek, but Samson grabbed my hand.

"What's with the slapping?" His eyes widened as he dropped my hand, my skin tingling from the contact. "You're so violent."

"Can't take it?" I bit my bottom lip. Samson stared at my mouth with a wild look in his eyes.

"If we hadn't agreed to take things slow, I would kiss you senseless," Samson said earnestly, "right now, in the middle of this sidewalk, hoping everyone would stop and stare."

With that vision in my mind, I would have been okay if we were kissing in front of the whole world.

It was 9 P.M. and I had spent nearly the entire day with Natalia. When I dropped her off, there was a moment we lingered in her doorway. I didn't know if I should kiss her, hug her, or shake her hand. We had spent the day laughing, flirting, and
accidentally
touching each other. Our Sunday ended just the way I'd wanted it to: with a perfect kiss.

I entered my dark room, not surprised that Myers wasn't there. I put my shopping bags on top of my desk and strolled over to the window. Opening the oatmeal colored drapes, I stared out into the sky. The clouds were heavy, soon to open up and drench the city. My phone, still in the pocket of my jeans, vibrated. It was my mother and I knew why she was calling.

"Hello?" I asked, drained from the adventurous day.

"Hi, my baby boy. How are you?"

Hearing my mother's voice put a smile on my face. "I'm good. I just got back into my dorm room. I was out most of the day." I left out what I'd been doing. It was too soon to tell her about Natalia.

"I got a call from Aubrey."

I knew at that moment that Aubrey had told my mother everything. She probably twisted it around, blaming me for everything.

"Before you say anything else, know that it was going to happen sooner or later." My voice was harsher than I wanted it to be, but I needed her to understand.

"This is bad. You and Aubrey have had years together. You can't just throw something like that away, love." My mother's voice remained soft, not wanting to rile me up.

"We did have years together, and now it's time to move on. You know, just as much as I do, that she's changed. She's not the same girl."

"She's just going through a phase. You know that."

My parents continued to believe that she was the same sweet girl from down the road; the one who would leave love letters for me on our porch every Sunday.

"Mom, it's done," I said with certainty. My stomach wrenched. I knew I'd always miss the she used to be. I heard my mom sniffle into the receiver.

"I just don't understand why you're ending a relationship that's been important to you. It breaks my heart knowing that I'll never see you two married with your own children someday. Sammy, please tell me that you'll consider working on things with her."

I hated letting my mother down. I'd avoided it my entire life, sometimes going along with whatever she wanted just to make her happy, but I was past that.

"It's not going to happen. I'm moving on and so should she."

Silence. My mother stayed quiet for awhile before I heard her delicate voice again.

"I love you very much. If this is what you've decided, then I'll stand by you." She continued to sniffle. "Your father won't be happy about this at all, but I'll talk to him and hopefully calm him down. Will you be coming home anytime soon?"

It was nice to know that at least one parent missed me while I was away.

"I'll visit soon. We can go out to brunch, like old times." Growing up, my mother and I would go out for brunch every Saturday, leaving my sullen father at home. It was our one day together, and we'd order the type of food you'd never find in our own refrigerator. It had always my favorite part of the week.

"I'd love that. You take care, sweetie. Call me if you need anything, and," she paused, "if Aubrey tries to call you, please don't ignore her. She's hurting."

"I love you, Mom."

I hung up my phone and placed it on the edge of my desk. Just as I was about to lay down in bed, I heard a knock on the door. Two more knocks. I opened my door and saw Aubrey sitting on the ground. Her face was pale. Her makeup had worn off, the mascara smeared under her eyes. She looked up at me and began to sob. Instinctually, I knelt down and put my arms around her, rocking her back and forth. We stayed that way for a few minutes, until Aubrey lifted her face to mine, moving in to kiss me.

"Aubrey, no." I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away. "What are you doing here?"

"Did your mom call you?" Her voice was so faint, I could barely understand her.

"Yes." I knew Aubrey wanted to hear that I talked to my mother and changed my mind. When she realized I hadn't, she began sobbing again. "Aubs, please stop crying," I rubbed her arms, hoping to calm her down. People passed through the hallway, turning to look at the commotion.

"Don't give up on us. I'm so sorry, Sam."

"Come on," I said, lifting her from the ground. "Let's go into my room where we can talk privately."

Aubrey stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes. She sat on the edge of my bed, her elbows on her knees, and I bent down in front of her.

"Why are you still in town, Aubrey?"

"I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to live without you. Please, Samson, please take me back."

It had been a long time since I'd seen Aubrey this vulnerable. For the past year, her outer shell was so thick, it would have taken a bulldozer to tear it down.

"Aubrey, I don't know what to say."

She stared down at me, not saying a word. Her face portrayed everything she was feeling: anger, abandonment, heartbreak. Aubrey suddenly stood up, heading for the door.

"Wait," I called out.

She stopped, her hand on the doorknob.

"I don't know if we can be friends, Aubrey. I don't know what will happen. I do know there are going to be times where it will be awkward to be around one another, but our families are best friends. It will be impossible to avoid each other. Let's at least try and be civil to each other."

"That's impossible. You've ripped my heart out and shown no remorse, Samson." Tears ran down her cheeks and she swiped them away with the back of her hand.

"What do you want me to do, Aubrey? Do you want me to stay with you for the rest of my life, even if I'm unhappy? We're not happy together. You deserve better than that." I stood up and walked to the door.

"Did you ever love me?" She looked up at me.

"You're the only girl I've ever loved. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you running across my lawn in your ruffled, pink dress. I remember that moment like it was yesterday. Aubrey, I'll always love you, just not in the same way."

A tear fell from her eye and she didn't lift her hand to wipe it away. I caught the tear with my finger, keeping my hand pressed softly against her cheek.

"Goodbye, Samson."

Her goodbye was final. She walked out of my room without turning back.

I lay in my bed, my room filled with darkness. My cell phone vibrated on my nightstand, bringing me out of my daze.

"I'm happy we had this day. Thank you for sharing it with me."

I shared the feeling with Natalia, but it wasn't enough to shake the sadness.

It was Monday morning and my body refused to uncoil itself from the warm blankets. My alarm was going off. I was excited to get to class and see Samson. We had such a fantastic day yesterday. I don't think I'd smiled that much since my dad was around. Samson never answered the text I'd sent him last night. Maybe he had fallen asleep.

After my shower, I put on black leggings and an oversized Ramones T-shirt. As I was brushing out my hair, the door swung open, and in walked Kingsley. Her hair looked as if she had stuck her finger in a socket.

"What happened to you?" I asked, motioning to her hair.

"This would be called just-got-fucked hair." She threw off her heels and sauntered over to her closet.

"Who was the victim this time?" I snarked.

She turned around and threw a hanger at me, missing my face by an inch.

"Geez, I'm just kidding! If you were just
fucked
, shouldn't you be in a better mood?"

"I'm in a fantastic mood, actually." She peeled off her skinny jeans and tossed them into the corner. "How was your night, Sandra Dee?"

"Sandra Dee? Really?" I glared at Kingsley.

"She was very ... virginal. You remind me of her. Well, up until she went all boy crazy over Moondoggie."

I threw the same hanger back at her, hitting the side of her arm. While I waited for Kingsley to finish getting ready for class, I scrolled through my phone, looking for any signs of a missed text from Samson. None.

Kingsley and I walked into the hallway, grabbing the open elevator just before it closed.

"Aren't you going to tell me about your night?" Kingsley asked.

I shushed her, wanting to wait until we were alone. She rolled her eyes in response. Before we even noticed the elevator stopping on the twenty-first floor, the doors opened, and in walked Samson. He looked much more put together than he did yesterday. His hair was impeccable, brushed smoothly on each side. I didn't understand why he took any time doing his hair each morning when we'd be endlessly sweating in class anyway.

I'd never seen anyone look as good in a Smiths T-shirt as he did. It was nice seeing Samson out of his immaculate wardrobe and in something more freeing. Without his usual tie, he looked like an actual eighteen-year-old. When he saw that Kingsley and I were standing in the elevator, he smiled.

"Good morning," he said as his hand touched my lower back. He ignored Kingsley.

She grunted. "What a shame, Natalia. Now you can't tell me about the hot sex you had over the summer."

I glared at her and then turned and smiled at Samson, hoping he didn't believe a word she said.

"It's okay, I know she's lying. I can't imagine her ever being truthful."

I cut in before the conversation got worse. "Both of you, stop." I fixed my stare on each of them, hoping they'd understand I was sick of their constant bickering.

"How was the rest of your night?" Samson whispered.

"It was fine. Just caught up on some studying and talked to my mom. That's always a good time," I said sarcastically. "What about yours?"

Kingsley interrupted our conversation by clearing her throat.

As soon as the elevator arrived on sixteenth-floor, she shot off like a rocketship, rushing ahead of us. I ignored her bad manners and laughed.