In The Company of My Sistahs (25 page)

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Authors: Angie Daniels

BOOK: In The Company of My Sistahs
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Chapter 46
RENEE
S
hortly after one, Solomon pulled his moped up in front of the Holiday Inn Sun Spree. I climbed off and he swung his leg over the side and moved to stand beside me.
“Thank you for a wonderful evening.”
My lips curled into a provocative smile. “I should be thanking you.”
He pulled me against him and pressed his mouth to mine. I willingly parted my lips and allowed his tongue to invade my space. He definitely had many talents.
“Can I see you again tonight?” he asked when we came up for air.
“That might be arranged.” I didn't want to sound too eager, although inside I was jumping for joy.
“I'll be here, same time.”
“I didn't say yes,” I replied as I slowly backed away.
“You'll be here,” he said confidently.
Damn skippy. I gave him a silly smirk, then turned and jogged up the circle driveway.
Oh, God! I felt like flying. The last several hours were nothing like I had ever experienced. Solomon was a rare breed and for the next couple of days he was going to be all mine!
See, this is what I have been trying to get everyone to understand. What I felt tonight with Solomon, I have never felt with John. I'm serious.
A woman should feel proud to be on her man's arm. I should be able to stand across a crowded room and watch him interact with others and think to myself, “damn, that is one sexy mothafucka.” I should be dying to get his ass home so I can ride him like a mechanical bull, then lay in his arms until morning. Now
that's
the way a wife should feel about her husband. And I honestly never felt that way.
When we first started dating I was embarrassed to introduce John to my friends because I knew what they were going to say.
I remember a week after he had proposed, my girl Danielle came over for a visit. As soon as she stepped into my house and spotted John at the table, her mouth dropped. He did look a hot mess—faded black jeans, and a t-shirt that was three sizes too small. He hadn't put in his contacts so he was wearing a pair of “birth control” glasses. You know, the thick bifocals that's guaranteed to stop you from getting any pussy.
The minute he walked out of the room, Danielle whispered, “bitch, you are wrong for that!” After that I didn't bother to introduce him to any more of my friends. Lisa had a fit when I told her I was ashamed to introduce him to anyone.
“Renee, who gives a fuck what others think about him. It's what you think that matters. I bet all them bitches wish they had some man taking care of them.”
Lisa was right, and from that day on I would chant those words in my head every time I took him to meet friends and family. But instead of feeling better I would feel guilty, because who the hell has time to be going through all that each and every time. It was like—and still is—like I was forcing myself to feel something I was not. It's a bunch of bullshit, and I've been doing that for three years too long. But shit, what's a sistah to do?
On the ride back to the hotel, I had allowed myself a little time to think about my relationship with John. And I have come to the conclusion that the reason why I can't break it off with him is because I feel like I owe him something. Now, bear with me a minute. It's late and I'm tired but I know if I don't say this now, by tomorrow it will have slipped my mind.
I knew when I married John what I was getting—an older man who wanted a family. In exchange, John knew what he was getting—a woman who did not love him but needed financial stability for her family. So what has changed? Absolutely nothing, except that I don't want to do it anymore, and because of that I feel so damn guilty.
He is the exact same man I married. He has no hobbies, no friends; he lacks spontaneity, and sex is a nightmare. I settled for it in the beginning because I figured for what I was getting in return, it was a small sacrifice to pay.
John gave me the opportunity to pursue my career and he shared in the success of my first book. Now that my career is on its way, I am ready to jump ship and part of me doesn't feel that is fair. Now you would think as selfish as my ass is, I wouldn't give a fuck, but I do. I really do. With John, for the first time in my life, I have met someone who challenges my ability to make a decision.
My psychiatrist told me that I was hurting John more by staying with him because by doing that I wasn't allowing him the opportunity to find someone who would truly love him. And her old ass is right. It is unfair of me. But even knowing that doesn't make it any easier.
Damn! My ass is confused. I'm no closer to coming to a decision than I was six months ago. What's a sistah to do?
I'll have to think about it some more tomorrow, because right now I'm going to bed.
Chapter 47
NADINE
T
he next morning Nadine rose slowly out of the bed. The slide door was open and a gentle breeze flowed into the room.
After checking for phone messages, Lisa hung up the receiver. “Jordan called.”
Nadine simply nodded and slid out from under the covers.
“You can't keep avoiding her.”
“I know,” she said as she reached inside the dresser for something cool to wear.
Lisa leaned back on the bed. “I'm still dying to hear about your date last night.”
Nadine finally looked over at her and released a shaky sigh. “RD got on my last nerve. Then I went back to his room and let him screw me.”
Lisa's eyes grew wide. “Did it work?”
Nadine made a face. “Hell no.”
“Because of Jordan?”
“Yeah, because of Jordan.” Not in the mood to further the discussion, Nadine turned and stepped into the bathroom. She turned on the shower, then stepped into the tub. Standing under the spray, she thought about last night. Not about RD—he had been a big waste of her time, and any thoughts of what she had done last night made her sick to her stomach. Instead, she thought about the woman who had been watching her from across the room. Just remembering her smile caused a tightening of her breasts. The tingling between her legs was not a result of RD's performance, but was a result of the beautiful woman's stares. In fact, her mind flooded with memories of the first time she and Jordan had made love.
Two weeks had passed since their first introduction and yet she still had been avoiding Jordan's calls. Then, finally, after another lonely evening, Nadine admitted to herself that she could no longer go without seeing her. She contacted Jordan and asked her to meet her at a party at her law firm.
By the time Nadine had arrived shortly after nine, conversations and music flowed throughout the room. She had arrived late, as usual, and spotted one of their criminal attorneys, Christopher Monroe, trying to get her attention. They were in a deep conversation about an upcoming case when she spotted Jordan coming through the door.
Something hit Nadine when she took in Jordan's thin face and large hazel eyes. The smile radiated her way and her heart fluttered. She couldn't understand what she was feeling. All she knew was that her life was about to change.
For the rest of the night no matter how much she tried to fight it she kept finding herself migrating to Jordan. They ended up spending most of the evening sipping coffee in the corner while talking and discovered they had a lot more in common. They discussed men, kids, their dreams and fears, and Nadine had an intellectual conversation that she never seemed to find with a man. When it was time for the evening to end, she felt a sense of disappointment. She didn't know what it was but there was this strong need to be in her presence that she didn't even bother to try to understand. All she knew was that when Jordan asked her for a ride home, she agreed. They talked and laughed all the way to her apartment. Jordan's hand found its way to her thigh, to her arm, and even to her cheek. It seemed so natural Nadine didn't have the willpower to tell her to stop. All that kept running through her mind was that there was no denying she was attracted to this woman. A small part of her regretted inviting her to the party. When she pulled in front of Jordan's apartment, she felt a bit relieved.
Jordan paused before exiting her vehicle. “Would you like to come up?”
Nadine shook her head. “I don't think that's a good idea.”
Jordan looked hurt, then she covered Nadine's hands with her own. “I'm sure you've realized that I like you.”
“I like you too.”
“No, I mean I really like you. I know why I haven't heard from you and why you've been ignoring my calls. You're scared and I understand because I'm scared too of what I am feeling for you.”
Nadine gasped, unable to speak because she knew Jordan was right.
“Have you ever thought about making love to another woman?”
She dropped her eyes so she could shield her embarrassment. She couldn't bring herself to admit the nights she lay awake fantasizing about her and Jordan—caressing her breasts, running her tongue between her legs. “I've been curious,” she admitted.
“So why don't you find out, with me?” Jordan reached up and stroked her cheek, sending tremors through Nadine's body. “I want to show you how good it can be.”
“I don't know if I'm ready.”
“I won't pressure you. I just wanted to let you know how I feel. But I won't take this a step further unless you feel the same way. We can spend the rest of the evening drinking wine and listening to music and I'll be happy just as long as I am with you.”
There was a moment of silence before she heard herself agree.
They climbed out of the car and Nadine followed her up to her apartment on the second floor, a beautifully decorated room filled with African American art and rich wood furnishings.
While Jordan went to pour them both a glass of wine, Nadine strolled over to the stereo and turned on a slow jam radio station.
Jordan returned carrying two glasses of wine and a bottle of white zinfandel on a tray.
For the next several hours they talked and listened to music. Nadine allowed the wine to relax her.
Jordan would lean forward and whisper in Nadine's ear, and she found herself getting turned on again. She tried to blame the night on the wine, because she too started caressing Jordan's thigh and arm with slow lingering fingers.
Around eleven, she was totally relaxed as they sat on the couch, caressing and petting one another.
“Listen, Nadine. I want you so bad it hurts.” She cupped her chin so she had no choice but to look at her. “I want you but you've got to want me too.”
Nadine licked her lips, then heard herself say, “I want you too.”
Jordan seized the moment and leaned forward and kissed her, a slow sensual caress that Nadine willingly accepted. She didn't even realize that her tongue was in her mouth until she moaned. She kissed with more passion than she'd ever experienced with any man. She opened her eyes and they locked gazes. She felt like the kiss would never end, and she wasn't complaining.
Jordan then rose and took her hand and led her to the bedroom.
While Nadine sat on the end, Jordan slowly removed her clothes. All her thoughts and fantasies didn't come close to what she was feeling and seeing. She was about to be made love to by a woman.
Jordan unbuttoned her shirt and peeled it away. Nadine feasted her eyes on small perky breasts with nipples that were chocolate and hard. Jordan lowered her skirt over her hips and Nadine gasped when she slipped her panties off and stood before her. Now she knew why God had created women. Now she knew why men couldn't keep their hands off women and always felt the need to be buried deep between their legs. Jordan took everything off and all that remained was black high heels.
“Now I'm going to undress you,” she said, stretching her hand out to Nadine.
Nadine's response to her request was a gasp. She was aroused and she placed her hand in hers. She gently tugged her upright and brought her against her bare breasts. Her fingers ached to capture one in her hand, but instead she waited to see what would happen next.
Jordan unbuttoned Nadine's blouse and allowed it to fall to the floor. As soon as Jordan removed her bra, she cupped one of her breasts in her hand, then leaned forward and began to suckle her nipple gently. She glanced down to find Jordan staring up at her.
She then slipped her fingers down past her inner thighs, where she eased them apart. Slowly she slipped two fingers inside of her and they were doing things she had only dreamed of. Jordan urged her to lay back on the bed. Nadine willingly complied, then eased her legs open wider so that she could have plenty of room.
Jordan then kneeled down between her legs and licked the spot that only another woman would be able to find. She shivered and bucked against the bed. There was no way she could have passed up the pleasure she was receiving, and from a woman, for goodness' sake. She was powerless to fight it. It was only a matter of minutes before she felt an explosion travel though her. Afterwards, Jordan held her in her arms while her heartbeat returned to normal.
After that their relationship took off. They spent days and even nights together. Every chance she could she dashed over to Jordan's just to be in her arms and to feel her naked skin against hers. She never allowed her to stay at her house for fear that her son would find out about them. Instead, Jordan would drop by like a casual friend. After a year of living behind closed doors, she was tired of the sneaking, tired of feeling ashamed of loving another woman.
Jordan wanted them to move in together. She was ready to let the world know just how she felt about Nadine. Only Nadine wasn't ready yet to admit that she was in love with a woman. Nadine had never been completely comfortable or willing to accept her feelings and it had taken a toll on their relationship. Jordan had given her an ultimatum that had ended in a heated argument with Nadine calling off the relationship.
As she scrubbed away the memories of the night before she told herself it was for the best. Her family would never have understood.

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