Serena heard footsteps behind her and was surprised to see Peter
Stanhope. The lawyers mane of silver hair barely moved in the wind. His lip showed a reddened scar.
I didnt expect to see you here, Serena told him.
Peter stood beside her and made no effort to get any closer to the funeral. I suppose I feel responsible.
Why?
Because I sent you off to expose Finns secrets, and now hes dead.
Dont blame yourself, Serena told him. Finns probably better off this way.
Thats true.
Serena turned and met his eyes with her own. That doesnt mean you walk away with a clean conscience, Peter. Theres still Laura and what you did to her.
You mean the stalking? I already told you that I was a crass, stupid kid.
Dont make it sound like you were a boy stealing gum from a drugstore. You tried to rape that girl.
Peter rubbed the scar on his lip. So thats it? Youve decided Im a monster?
I dont know what you are.
And that means you cant work with me? he asked. Youre turning down the job because of a mistake I made as a teenager?
Serena looked up at the profiles of the trees, which were like spiny bottlebrushes. She heard the murmur of solemn voices near the grave. Im sorry. It doesnt matter if it was yesterday or 1977. The answer is no. Keep your job, Peter. I dont want it.
Youre walking away from a lot of money.
Its not about the money, Serena said.
I thought you were different. I expected better from you.
Serena shrugged. Well, dont let me spoil your moment.
What do you mean?
This is your independence day, Serena said. With Finn dead, Lauras case dies with him.
Peter nodded. Okay, yes, it worked out fine for me, but Im not getting a free ride. I didnt kill anyone.
No? Her voice betrayed her suspicion.
You sound as paranoid as Tish, Peter said.
Your own father didnt believe you, Serena told him.
Peters eyes turned black. He was never my biggest fan. I told Randall I didnt kill her, but he knew what happened between me and Laura in the softball field. I suppose he figured I was a liar. Or maybe it was all about protecting the Stanhope name. Anyway, it doesnt matter. The easiest thing for Stride and Pat Burns and everyone else in Duluth is to believe that Finn swung that bat. Just like it was the easy thing back in 1977 to assume that Dada killed her. We believe whatever makes us feel safe.
Arent you afraid of what Tish will say in her book? Serena asked.
Peter studied Tish, who stood next to Stride among the people near the wooden coffin. It was as if she could feel eyes on her back, because she turned and saw Serena and Peter standing together up the hill. Her lips folded into a frown.
Tish can write what she wants, Peter said. I dont care. Sometimes the easy explanation is the right one, Serena. Finn was in love with Laura, and Laura didnt want him. So he decided that no one else was going to have her, either.
Except some people might think you felt the same way, Serena said.
Maybe I did, but Lauras big mistake wasnt saying no to me.
Then what was it?
It was letting Rikke get her tangled up with Finn. That was like buying a ticket to a house of horrors.
He nodded his head toward Finns sister, who stood with her hand resting on the coffin, but with her face turned toward Tish. Serena could see fury in the womans taut skin. Her eyes never left Tish, and Tish stared at the ground rather than look up at her.
Rikke knows what Finn did, Peter said.
Serena pursed her lips and thought about the macabre striptease that Stride had described on the beach between Finn and his sister.
Finn and Rikke were a strange family, she agreed.
Youre right, but dont forget one thing, Peter told her.
Whats that?
Back in 1977, Laura was in the middle of that family.
47
___________
Stride and Serena led a parade of cars away from the cemetery. They headed north on Tower Avenue and turned into the parking lot of a bookstore and café where they often stopped for soup and coffee when they were on the east side of the Twin Ports. Maggie followed them into the lot, and so did Tish. The four of them went inside together, where nutmeg and blueberries wafted in the air. Amanda, who ran the store, waved at them and broke off from the stacks of books long enough to get a hug from Stride.
They took chairs in the café at a table by the window. Stride leaned his head against the wall. The sky through the glass was gray and burgundy, as dusk sped quickly into night.
What can I get everyone? Maggie asked.
Stride shrugged. Coffee.
You, boss? Plain old coffee? I figured you for a moka-loco apple fritter latte.
Stride gave her a withering stare.
How about you, Serena? Maggie asked. You want to join me in a chai tea?
Id love one, but you may as well take a hypo and shoot it into my thighs. Get me a bottled water.
Maggie rolled her eyes. Tish?
Nothing, thanks. I have to head to the airport soon.
Maggie sighed and went to the café register. She placed their order and wandered over to the books counter to chat with Amanda.
Hows the book coming? Serena asked Tish.
Its almost done.
Tish tugged nervously at the sleeves of her burgundy blouse. Her blond hair was pulled back away from her face and pinned behind her head.
Do you leave tonight?
Tish nodded. My suitcase is in the car. She added, I suppose youll both be happy to see me go.
Stride and Serena didnt say anything.
When I came here, I didnt really think about what would happen, Tish went on. I was naive. I should have listened to you.
She waited, but the silence stretched out.
I know you feel bad about Clark Biggs, Tish told Stride. And Finn, too.
I dont think you know how I feel at all, Stride replied.
He saw the café manager put their drinks on the counter, and he retrieved his mug of coffee and Serenas bottle of water and sat down again. When he took a sip, the coffee was smoky and hot. Over Tishs shoulder, he spotted movement in the foyer and was surprised to see Rikke Mathisen enter the store from the parking lot. Her upper lip was sucked between her teeth. She saw them in the corner, and her stare lingered with venom before she disappeared into a row of biographies in the bookstore.
They sat in silence.
Maybe I should go, Tish said finally.
Stride shrugged. Then go.
I know you blame me, Tish said. I get it.
No, you dont.
Then explain it to me.
Stride put his coffee down and leaned forward with his elbows on the table. Do I think things might have been different if you had been honest with me? Yes. Do I think things might have been different if you had come
forward when Laura was murdered? Yes. But I dont know any of that for sure. The truth is, I had no idea Finn was involved until you came to town. I didnt know anything about the murder of his mother. He was sick. He was desperate. A combination like that can leave someone dead. So no, I dont blame you for what happened to Finn. And Clark Biggs? Thats a tragedy, but he put himself on that beach. I didnt. You didnt.
Tish folded her arms. So what is it then?
Oh, come on, Tish, Serena murmured.
Tish looked at her and understood. Cindy.
Id like to know why she never told me about you, Stride said.
Im sorry. I dont know what else to say.
Stride scowled and stared at the night sky outside. I deserve more than that.
I know you do. He watched the struggle in her face. Look, please dont blame Cindy. Blame me. When we reconnected, I asked her not to tell you about me. I knew youd find out that I was in Duluth that night. Cindy didnt want to keep secrets from you, but you werent just her husband. You were a cop. She couldnt ask you to ignore it if you knew. Youd have to be on my doorstep the next day, and I wasnt ready for that. It was something I needed to come to in my own time.
And thats it?
Thats it. Tish clutched her purse and stood up. I really have to go to the airport. Im grateful to you, Jon. You could have shut me out. I would have understood if you did.
She turned for the door, and Stride got up and walked beside her. His hands were in his pockets. He escorted her as far as the outer door that led to the parking lot and opened it so she could pass him. The warm air spilled in with the breeze.
Were alone, Stride said. Is there anything else you want to tell me?
Theres nothing, she replied.
Are you sure?
Im sure.
Stride frowned. Good-bye, Tish.
She took a step closer. Her eyes reminded him of Cindys eyes again.
She laid a soft hand on his face. You know that Cindy loved you, dont you?
Of course.
Then nothing else matters, does it?
Tish backed up awkwardly, tucked her head into her neck, and marched toward her car. Stride let the door swing shut and returned to the interior of the bookstore. Serena was watching him, but he didnt go back to their table. Instead, he wandered idly down the aisles of the store, occasionally reaching out and touching the spines of books without really seeing them. He tried to understand what he was feeling and decided it was loss. He remembered telling Tish that the one thing he feared in life was endings, and this was a door shutting in his soul.
Maybe, on some level, he had wanted Lauras murder to remain unsolved. As long as the case was out there, open, then Cindy would be there, too. She would be young. They would be first-time lovers. Ray would be incorruptible. Life would be a mystery. Now that he had the answers, they didnt give him peace. They simply left him mourning another ending.
Or was it something more than that?
He spied Rikke near the lobby of the bookstore. She stared at him defiantly before she left the shop. He turned a corner and found himself face to face with Maggie and Amanda, who were poring over a book on child rearing. Maggie looked up and read his face.
You okay? she asked.
Stride shrugged and shook his head. Maggie squeezed his shoulder.
He pointed at the book she was holding. Whats this about?
Maggie shared a secret glance with Amanda. Think I should tell him?
Amanda laughed. Oh, why not.
Im going for it, Maggie told Stride. Ive decided to pursue the adoption thing all the way. I dont care what it takes. I want a kid.
Stride smiled. Good for you, Mags. I couldnt be happier for you. Really.
I just hope its a boy.
Why is that? he asked.
Are you kidding? Me with a little girl? That poor kid would be scarred for life having a parent like me. I couldnt do that to a child.
Amanda rolled her eyes. Hes a man, darling, she said, with a British accent full of exasperation. He doesnt understand the curse we women face and the terrible legacy we pass on to our daughters.
Curse? Stride asked.
Maggie spread her hands, as if it were obvious.
Sooner or later, were all destined to become our mothers, Amanda whispered in his ear.
Stride grunted and decided this was a conversation that didnt need a man in it. He turned away to let Maggie and Amanda continue talking about mothers and daughters, and then he froze in his tracks. He spun around so quickly that both women jumped.
What did you say?
Tish reached behind her head and undid her ponytail, letting her blond hair blow loosely in the warm wind. Her leather purse dangled from her shoulder. She was angry at herself and felt guilty for walking away. When she gazed at the back-and-forth parade of traffic on the street, she almost turned around and went back inside the store. The letter from Cindy was inside her purse, and she knew she should give it to Stride. She owed it to both of them, but she felt as if she were on a high bridge, paralyzed as she looked down. She couldnt face the truth.
She unlocked her car and got inside. She threw her purse on the opposite seat and put the key in the ignition, but she sat there without moving or starting the car, wrestling with whether she should stay. If she went to the airport and got on the flight to Minneapolis, she knew she would never come back to Duluth. Not ever.
Maybe it had been a huge mistake to come back in the first place.
Tish turned the key, and the engine fired. She put the Civic in reverse, but when she backed up, she heard metal grinding on asphalt and felt the car lurch as if it were bouncing over something heavy. She stopped, shut off the engine again, and climbed out, leaving the drivers door open. When she went around to the front of the car, she cursed, seeing the hood
slumped to one side. Through the glare of the headlights, she saw that the right front tire was flat on the ground.
Oh, hell, she murmured.
She squatted by the tire and checked her watch. She knew nothing about changing tires, and she had no idea if there was a service station nearby. The answer was obvious. Go get Stride. Even so, she hesitated to see him again when she had just shut the door in his face.