In the End (Starbounders) (19 page)

Chapter Thirty-one

I raise my gun, but before I can shoot, an arm snakes around Tank’s neck and he’s jerked backward. Jacks’s face appears. Relief floods my veins but is instantly replaced with fear. All of Jacks’s focus is on Tank as he pounces on his chest. He punches Tank’s already broken nose.

“You killed her!” Jacks screams as he pummels Tank’s face. Tank reaches up and pushes Jacks off. He struggles to his feet, holding his damaged shoulder. Jacks jumps at him, but Tank uses all the strength in his good arm and connects a sweeping punch to the side of Jacks’s head. Jacks entire body recoils at the impact.

Jacks shakes his head woozily and looks as though he’s about to fall before he gets himself straight. He leaps at Tank again, and Tank tries to sidestep but is too slow. Jacks punches him in his wound, and the pain brings Tank to his knees.

“You killed her,” Jacks repeats, his voice guttural.

“Yeah, I killed her.” Tank grins, exposing his blood-soaked teeth. “And she was sweet.”

Jacks brings his knee up to Tank’s jaw, and Tank’s body falls backward. Jacks kicks Tank’s head again and again, his blood pooling beside his body.

“Jacks. Enough,” I say. Jacks looks up at me blankly, then slumps down beside Tank’s body, his head in his hands. I go to his side, but Doc holds out an arm to stop me.

“Give him a moment,” he says, his voice filled with tenderness.

My blood churns at his touch. Where was that compassion when he decided to start his experiment? Unable to control my anger, I grab his slight body and drag him to the ledge.

“Look at what you’ve done!” I scream.

“I had to!” he says, trying to push me off. “Mistakes were made, but none of them were my doing.”

Likely sensing how close he is to being thrown over the edge, he stops talking. When I don’t let him go, he starts again.

“I had no choice. They were going to replace me! Dr. Reynolds made it clear I needed this to work or I was done! Do you understand? Failure isn’t tolerated. Do you think Dr. Reynolds wouldn’t punish me through my son? If I am not successful here, the only place for me in New Hope would be in the
War
d
! And my son would be there too. Do you want that for Jacks?”

He twitches his head down toward the madness in the yard with disgust, as though he weren’t responsible for it. “Time was running out. They were coming for me in the morning! Brenna would redeem me. Brenna
had
to be the answer.”

It feels good to tighten my grip on his arm, to drive my fingers through his flesh to the bone beneath and feel him squirm. The man was going down and didn’t care who he took with him, didn’t care who he killed. He’s whimpering in pain, and I notice for the first time the trail of red we’ve left across the roof.

I drop his arm and back away. He isn’t covered in his victims’ blood. He’s covered in his own.

“You were bitten.”

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve taken the vaccine.”

“Look around you,” I tell him, stunned by his self-delusion. “The vaccine
doesn’t work
.” I hear a hollow thud behind me, a sound I’ve learned to recognize as an otherwise completely silent hover-copter landing.

“Are you coming?” Ken shouts.

Doc moves to go around me, but I shake my head and step in front of him, raising the rifle.

Ken appears at my side. “We’ve got to go now. Doc can come if he wants. We’ll let New Hope sort it out.” As fitting a punishment as being committed to the Ward would be for him, I can’t let Doc come with us. “He’s been bitten,” I tell Ken.

“Leave him then,” he says simply. “Let’s go.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and nudges me toward the hover-copter.

“I can’t go without Jacks,” I say, continuing to stare at where Doc stands by the ledge, still believing he has done something good. I run to Jacks’s side. He looks up at me. “We’ve got to go. Now, Jacks.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t leave here.”

“You have to. It’s not safe,” I plead.

“It’s not safe anywhere.” His eyes have begun to clear. “You’re going back to that place, where they have your sister? Where they tortured you? No.” He shakes his head. “I can’t come with you.”

“But Fort Black is dying,” I tell him. “It’s infested with Floraes.”

“My father . . .”

“He’s been bitten. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not leaving him here alone. And my uncle? They’re the only family I have.”

I don’t know how I can make him understand. He refuses to budge. He’s in shock.

I take his hand. “Jacks . . . your father is infected.”

Jacks looks to where his father stands by the wall. He walks slowly over to his father, with me in tow.

“Dad?”

Doc looks at his son. “I . . . I’m sorry. For everything. For the years I wasn’t with you and Layla, for what I did to your mother, for all of this.”

Jacks nods. “I forgive you.” He drops my hand and reaches to my other hand, taking the gun.

Doc eyes the rifle. “What happened to Layla was never your fault. You did more for that girl than I ever did. You were a better role model, a better provider. It wasn’t your fault, son.”

“I know,” Jacks tells him. “I love you, Dad.”

Doc stands up straight. “I love you too, son.”

Jacks raises his gun and fires into Doc’s chest.

Doc stumbles back, clutching his wound and staring at Jacks, his face torn between pain and love. Then he falls backward and disappears over the railing.

I turn to Jacks and take the gun away from him. “Jacks, I . . . Are you okay?”

He nods once, tears streaming down his face.

“It’s now or never, Amy,” Ken calls to me.

“Jacks, please. Come with me.” I reach out for his arm and slowly lead him to the hover-copter.

Ken looks at Jacks, covered head to toe in blood. “No,” he says simply.

“I’m not leaving him,” I say.

“Then stay. I was only letting you come because of Kay. . . . But taking him—the risk is too great. What if he’s infected? And you . . . You’re not supposed to be anywhere near New Hope. Do you want to get caught? Because the more people we take, the more likely it is that you’ll be found out.”

I look at Jacks, who is slowly regaining his senses. “Amy, go. I’ll be fine.”

I shake my head. “You’ll die.”

“I won’t. I said good-bye to my father. I’ll go back to my cell and lock myself in. I’ll be safe there.”

“If you live,” I say, tears streaming down my face, “your uncle knows how to contact New Hope. That’s where I’ll be.”

“New Hope,” he repeats, nodding. “I’ll find you in New Hope. I promise.”

He hugs me to him, brushes his lips with mine, and then pushes me toward the open door of the hover-copter. Before I know what is happening, the door has closed me inside. I collapse onto the floor of the hover-copter and hug my knees.

The ache in my chest worsens the farther we get from Fort Black. I realize that all those feelings for Jacks I had buried deep down inside are now being ripped from their hiding space and are rushing to the surface. I cry into my knees and for the first time in a long time, let myself feel.

Chapter Thirty-two

We land outside of New Hope, and the door to the hover-copter opens. Kay steps out with me.

“You remember what I told you, sunshine?”

I nod. “Wait until dark. Then go to Building Nine, climb the fire escape to the fourth floor. The window will be open.”

It was pure luck that Kay happened to be on patrol near Fort Black when Ken radioed for help. She was piloting, and when she stepped back to check on me and her brother, she found me crying on the floor of the hover-copter. She didn’t try to comfort me. Instead she acted as if we’d never been apart, and started talking tactics. It worked, pulling me from my sorrow. I wiped my tears and listened to her strong, able voice.

Kay laid out the game plan to get me into New Hope, that it was too dangerous to bring me in all the way. Instead I would walk in, Kay letting me know the best route since the new cameras have been set up around the perimeter.

Kay looks at me for a moment. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m . . . fine,” I tell her, hiding the truth. I’m far from fine, but I can’t break down again, not now when I’m so close.

She puts a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t get caught.”

“I won’t.” I pull up the hood of my synth-suit. I’d abandoned my sweatshirt and pants miles ago, tossing them out of the moving hover-copter, leaving me wearing only the black synth-suit. I used to feel naked wearing the thin fabric, but now I feel like I am wrapped in a layer of protection.

Kay steps back into the hover-copter, and before they take off, I offer Brenna a small, hopeful wave. She’s too far gone to wave back. I hope that Ken knows what he’s doing. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m abandoning her, but she should get the best medical attention in New Hope, before she’s subjected to anything worse. I hope I can help her before then.

The hover-copter rises noiselessly and disappears over the tree line. I back away into the shadows and wait for the cover of darkness.

Chapter Thirty-three

For weeks I’d been desperate to get back to New Hope. I thought all the waiting was over, that it would be time for action. But now that I’m here—nothing.

I sit on the floor of the studio apartment and wait. I’ve been waiting three days. Three days of hiding. Three days of delay. Three days without action. I thought I felt confined in Jacks’s cell, but now I really am caged. Kay made it very clear—I’m not allowed to leave for any reason. Twice a day, Kay or Gareth bring me food and try without success to deflect my questions.

Gareth lived here before he became a Guardian, and they never reassigned the apartment. Kay made sure of that, so they could have somewhere to meet, away from the Rumble Room, away from the other Guardians who were more loyal to Dr. Reynolds and his crony Marcus. Dr. Reynolds has no idea I’m here in New Hope. For all he knows, I’m dead by order of Doc or killed during the Florae outbreak.

Though I’ve been instructed to stay away from the window, I can’t help myself—I creep up to it and pull back the curtains, peeking my head only slightly over the windowsill to survey the area. New Hope seems shockingly peaceful compared to Fort Black. We’re not near the center of activity, at the Quad or labs, but a lot of people still walk below, kids in color-coded jumpsuits, researchers in lab coats, and normal citizens whose apparel is what anyone would wear Before. A girl in a yellow jumpsuit catches my eye and for a moment I think I see Baby. The Baby who was so excited to wear yellow and was actually happy here when we first arrived. I pull the curtain closed and shake off my nostalgia, reminding myself that New Hope is not our home.

I pace the small room, my frustration starting to get the better of me. I haven’t been able to see Baby, much less figure out a plan to rescue her, and Rice hasn’t been able to get away long enough to come see me.

Rice.

Usually the thought of him calms me, but now, for some reason, the idea of seeing him agitates me further. Actually, I know the reason—Jacks. What if Jacks had been able to leave Fort Black? Would he be here with me now, cooped up in this tiny apartment? He would understand my agitation, my need to do something other than wait.

I think of our last moments together, Jacks covered in Tank’s blood. Is he still the Jacks I knew? He defeated Tank and then had to turn around and kill his own father. I hope he knows it was a necessity. I hope he’s safe.

I collapse onto the bed.

I want to fight, but all I can do is wait.

Chapter Thirty-four

When Gareth finally comes in, I practically pounce on him.

“Any news?”

“No, honey, nothing has changed since yesterday.” He pulls a sandwich from his backpack and hands it to me. He’s wearing a T-shirt and jeans, his off-duty clothes. It means he may be able to keep me company for a while.

Sure enough, he turns the TV on to the cartoon channel and lounges on the bed. Uneasy, I sit next to him and nibble on my sandwich. It’s impossible to relax when I know Baby’s so close.

“Amy,” Gareth says without looking my way, “I can probably get you some regular clothes.” It’s not the first time he’s offered. He thinks I should change out of my synth-suit, but I’m hesitant to remove it. I even showered in it, though wearing it almost eliminates the need for showering. When I stepped out of the shower, the suit was dry within a few minutes. I know it seems like I’m being overly cautious, but the outbreak at Fort Black just proved that I could need the suit at any time. It also feels right to wear it, a layer between myself and the world. It makes me feel safe.

“I’m fine,” I tell him, though that’s far from the truth. The silly cartoons on TV are starting to irritate me. “This is bullshit,” I say. “Why don’t they talk about the situation at Fort Black? Send a convoy to search for survivors?”

Like Jacks,
I want to say. But I can’t push the words past my lips.

Gareth eyes me. “Dr. Reynolds doesn’t care about the people there.”

“What about Ken’s lab? His research?”

“They’ll probably send us back out to gather what we can.”

“When? After they think everyone will be dead or changed?”

Gareth just shrugs.

My sandwich has turned to cardboard in my mouth, and I place it on the counter. I can’t stop thinking about Jacks.

“And what about Brenna? Have you heard anything?”

Gareth shakes his head. When they landed in New Hope, Ken whisked Brenna away to the labs and disappeared along with her. Neither Gareth nor Kay have the clearance to access information about their whereabouts.

“This is killing me,” I say, growling. “I need to do something.”

“There’s nothing you can do.” He sits up and rubs his face. “There’s nothing any of us can do right now. We just have to wait for an opportunity.”

Gareth’s impassivity galls me, but then I think about all he’s done for me, and I can’t help but feel grateful. If he knew a way to help me, he would. He saved my ass when Dr. Reynolds found me coming out of the Rumble Room. He helped Kay break me out of the Ward. He was even there when Fort Black was imploding, piloting the hover-copter that carried us away.

A question comes to me.

“Were you with Kay when she picked me and Baby up on the lakeshore?”

“Yeah, I was flying the hover-copter.” He grins. “I have never seen Kay as pissed as she was after you shot her.”

“I’ve always wondered why you guys used the Florae net on us. Why didn’t you just land and ask us to come with you?” I learned standard procedure in my Guardian training, and scooping up post-aps like fish wasn’t part of it.

“There was a group of Floraes nearby. We thought it was too risky to take the chance of making noise while we explained ourselves to you. Kay said it was better to grab you and apologize later.”

“Kay apologize? Yeah, right.”

Gareth huffs a knowing laugh.

“I bet you guys wish you left us to the Floraes.”

Gareth shakes his head. “And miss all the excitement? No way. You sure do know how to get yourself into trouble, though.”

“And out of it,” I say in my defense.

Gareth just smirks. “But mostly in.”

“Hey, I did help the Guardians when Floraes were let into New Hope. I took care of myself then.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” The smile fades from his face. “Seriously, Amy. I admire you. I don’t know if I could survive the things you’ve survived.”

I wonder which parts he means. The After? The Ward? Finding out my mother kick-started the apocalypse?

Before I can ask him, there’s a loud knock at the door. Gareth and I look at each other, then he jumps up and peers through the peephole. When he sees who it is, he cracks the door enough for Kay to step through. She’s wearing her synth-suit, meaning she’s either on duty or in training. She’ll have only a few moments.

“Amy,” she says, walking to me, “you have to see this.” She takes a tiny thumb drive out of one of her pockets and hands it to me.

“What is it?”

“Footage of Baby. Ken got it to me.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s alive.” Kay backs away toward the door. “I have to go before I’m missed. I’ll come back later, sunshine, so we can talk.” She looks at Gareth. “Make sure she’s okay after she watches that.” He nods and Kay disappears through the door.

Gareth goes to a drawer, pulls out a laptop, and turns it on. Numb with anxiety, I hand him the thumb drive and he plugs it in.

I don’t know what I expected, but when Baby’s face pops up on the screen, I let out a long, relieved sigh. She is alive, or was this morning when the video was taken, according to the time stamp at the bottom.

But the relief stops there. Baby is so pale that at first I think the recording is in black-and-white. Then I see she’s wearing her bright-yellow jumpsuit. Swimming in it, would be more accurate. Her face is gaunt and her eyes are shadowed, giving them a sunken look. She twirls a hair around her finger, then plucks it from her head. I flinch as though the hair had been attached to my own scalp. She did the same thing when we were in the After, right after we lost our home and before we came to New Hope.

Someone off-camera says, “Hannah,” and Baby looks up blankly.

“Yes?” she asks hesitantly. It’s so strange to hear her voice after our years of silence together. I didn’t even know she could speak until Rice revealed that he knew her true name, shocking her into repeating it. That was just moments before I was taken to the Ward. After that I was allowed to see her only while I was heavily drugged.

“Hannah, we’re going to ask you a few simple questions.” My chest constricts. I recognize the voice now. It’s Dr. Thorpe, my Ward psychiatrist.

“What’s your full name?” Dr. Thorpe asks.

“Hannah O’Brian,” Baby replies softly.

“Have you ever gone by any other name?”

Baby looks off-camera, confused, and shakes her head.

“How old are you?”

“Six.” Baby tugs at another strand of her dull blond hair, then yanks it out.

“And where do you live?”

“New Hope.”

“And do you have any family in New Hope?”

Baby looks at this camera this time. “New Hope is my family.”

“Yes,” Dr. Thorpe’s voice prompts. “But any family members living in New Hope?”

Baby scrunches her face. “No . . . my family is gone. I have no one.”

I take a step back and sit on the bed, utterly deflated. I feel the pieces of my heart shattering in my chest.

Gareth pauses the recording. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I lie, then swallow. “What are they doing to her?”

“I think . . . with all she’s been through, Baby is weak. She’s not thinking straight. They’re letting her forget the truth and filling her head with lies. They’re trying to change her history.”

“Brainwash her?” I ask. “When I was in the Ward, Dr. Reynolds once threatened to tell her I had died.”

Gareth sits next to me and puts his arm around me, resting his head next to mine. “Amy, I’m sorry, honey. I think they’re going a step further than that. They’re trying to convince her that you never existed.”

I close my eyes for a few moments, and we sit in silence. “Let’s watch the rest,” I tell him, opening my eyes.

“Are you sure you’re up for that?”

“I have to see what they’re doing to her.”

He pushes play and I listen while Dr. Thorpe asks Baby more questions, planting the seeds of lies in her head. I watch as Dr. Thorpe tries to unmake me.