In the Wake of Wanting (49 page)

“But it wasn’t. I’m fine.”

“What about Jenny?”

“Trey, I’m going to call Liv and we’re going to go see her, okay?” Mom says. “She trusts us both.”

“Whatever she needs, Mom, just… make sure she’s okay.”

“Of course, honey. Of course we will.”

“Make sure she knows that I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Coley’s dad is stern when he says this. “You’re not trained to pick up on the signs, Trey. You’re a kid. A good kid, from what I can tell, with a fair amount of sense and a hell of a lot of compassion. Since Coley told us she was working with you, her mother and I have been doing our homework. Your blog has been of particular interest. With that compassion comes a certain amount of optimism. Seeing the good in other people. I know you feel like it’s a personal defect today, like some part of you has failed your intuition, but it’s such an admirable quality. It’s one that I wish a hell of a lot more people would have.

“You looked for something positive in Nyall and gave him an afternoon he’s still talking about. Coley told us earlier you asked to learn sign language even though Joel basically accused you of an unspeakable crime in a
very
public setting, causing you quite a bit of embarrassment.

“One guy got through. One manipulative guy fooled you, Trey. Do you know how many exercises I’ve been through to try to decipher if people are lying or telling the truth? How many hours I’ve spent learning about the psychology of evil people? Trying to figure out the signs they give off before they decide to do something that could harm others? It’s my job. I’ve spent years learning these things. All you have is life experience–and I hate to tell you this, kid, but you’re young.”

He gives me a couple of firm pats on the back.

“He’s right, Jackson.”

I hear them, but I don’t feel any better. “Thanks.” My throat hurts from holding back the emotions. I walk over to the window that looks out onto the balcony so no one can see me. “Are the cops coming?” I ask after clearing my throat.

“Yeah,” Coley’s mother says.

“Maybe Coley and I can meet with them alone.” Tears continue to drip from my eyes, regardless of how hard I try to stop them. I swipe them away quickly. I truly want to be by myself, but I know Coley can’t leave here, and I’d never force her out in the climate we’re in right now. “If you guys don’t mind.”

“Trey,” my girlfriend pleads. I feel her hands on my waist; her head leaning against my back. “They’re here to help.”

“I know. It’s just all too much for one day.” Turning around, I give her a quick hug and press my lips to her temple, but keep my eyes focused on the door.

“I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Martin, Beth, why don’t you come put your feet up for awhile at our house? We can meet back up with Trey and Coley this evening.”

“That would be nice,” her mother says. “Hang in there, Trey. He’ll be behind bars soon. He can’t hurt anyone else.”

“He’s already hurt too many people I care about,” I tell her, staring into her eyes and feeling the tension in my jaw. “He’s already done too much.”

“You have every right to be angry. Just make sure you’re directing it at the right person. Asher’s the bad guy here. Not you, Trey,” Martin says.

“Call me when the police leave,” Dad says as they exit my apartment. I nod weakly, sitting down.

Coley shows them out, securing the place once they’re gone. “Maybe a drink?”

“Cops are coming,” I remind her, my back straight in the recliner as I rock it nervously. “Maybe after.”

She considers my choice of seating when she comes into the room. “I know you want to be alone…”

“A little, yeah,” I say, biting my lip to keep it from quivering when I talk. I break down anyway. “Here in my apartment?” I barely manage to choke out. “Jenny’s been like a part of the family to me. Like another older sister. How could he do that to her?”

“Because he’s an indiscriminate and vile sex offender, Trey,” she says, not respecting my wish to be alone and finding a place in my lap. She wraps her arms around me and leans into my chest. I adjust the chair backwards to accommodate her, feeling comforted by her warm body against mine. “And he obviously was feeling some sort of malice toward you to come into your place and install that camera.”

“But why?”

“I’m guessing it’s because he thought we were together, Trey. That was the day he thought he’d caught us at the hotel, remember?”

“When he told me he’d asked Pree to formal, he let it slip that he’d hoped it would make you jealous,” I admit to her. “It was the first time he’d let on that he still liked you. I didn’t know, and then I had no idea to what extent.”

I let this set in while I run my hand up and down her arm. “So you think he was pissed we started dating?”

“I do–well, at the time, I think he thought you were cheating on Zaina, so maybe he just thought we were fucking. Hence the camera, to get the proof.”

“The proof to ruin my relationship with her. What a friend,” I lament.

“And ruin you in the process, I’m sure,” she says.

“And take you with me. Why would he hurt the girl he liked?”

“Because I hurt him.”

“And why would he hurt Jenny?”

“Because she’s close to you, Trey, I don’t know. Or maybe she just got caught in the crossfire. Why Pryana? Why Lucy? Why Kamiesha? He’s a serial rapist. I don’t think he needs a reason other than the fact that they’re women who find themselves in a vulnerable position that makes them temporarily available to him for the taking. He wants. He takes.”

“And then I just think,” I begin, hugging her tighter, “how have you managed to stay safe in all of this?”

She lifts her head and looks me in the eyes. “I’m keenly aware of my surroundings. You think growing up with a special agent and a cop, that they wouldn’t have drilled that into my brain before I was even able to ride a bike? Because they did. Once I found out my dorm was on the street over from Frat Row, I made sure to avoid it when it’s late. I don’t go to parties there alone–and I haven’t been at all since I met Asher. When I’m out at night, I take my mace with me. Sometimes Frank walks me home from Ruvelyn’s, even though it’s just around the corner,” she admits. “If I don’t feel safe, I either don’t do something, or I’ll find a way to feel safe first.”

Coley’s phone vibrates in her pocket. She shows me the text from Teri.

- -
Most of the sites have taken down the video. Most of the links that have been posted are broken.

“Well, that’s something,” I say, knowing I should be happy about it, but unable to feel joy about anything right now. “I guess it pays to have good lawyers.” Just as the silence sets in over us, another pounding at my front door jolts us up. “I’ll be glad when today is over.”

She smiles at me, watching as I answer the door.

“Mr. Holland. Acting on new evidence from your lawyer, we have issued a warrant for the arrest of Asher Knoxland. I understand you have additional video that we should see.”

“Yes,” I say simply, letting them in and leading them to my desk. I offer one of them a seat, go back to the beginning where Asher enters the room and hit play. “I’ll let you guys watch. I can’t see it again.”

“Who is the woman?”

“Jenny Spencer. She’s my housekeeper.”

“Does she know you record her working here?”

“She may not be aware of it now, but she was when she signed the contract when I hired her. I have a record of that.” I walk toward a hall closet where I keep important documents and the safe.

“We’ll need to see that, if we’re to use this as evidence.” I easily find the paperwork and take it to the officers, moving over to the couch to wait for them to finish their investigation. “Does this have sound?”

“You don’t need sound,” I snap at them.

chapter twenty-two

A few hours later, our parents bring us dinner. I barely touch mine, deciding to wrap it up to save it for later. I apologize to Martin and Beth for my demeanor, but they’re both very gracious and understanding.

“You’re going to help put him behind bars,” Coley’s father says as we’re all saying goodbye. “As soon as they find him, he’s locked up.”

“They can’t find him?” Coley asks, her eyes wide.

“There’s an APB out for him. It’s a matter of time,” her mother says.

“I just wish Jenny didn’t have to go through what she did for him to be put away. He shouldn’t have been allowed out in the first place.” Martin bows his head in understanding, taking Coley down the hall with him and his ex-wife to talk privately for a second while I stay in the doorway.

“Trey, honey,” Mom says. “Jenny’s getting help. She doesn’t blame you. She blames herself right now, but we’ll make sure she has access to counseling… we’ll make sure she gets the best treatment. You can go see her later in the week with me and Livvy. I think she would like that.”

“Just tell me when. I’ll be there.”

“Okay.” She hugs me close to kiss my cheek. “Don’t beat yourself up.”

“Listen to your mother,” Dad says with a grin and embraces me tightly. “The police wouldn’t have a case without you and Coley. He could still be out there without the reports from the other women… and his case would be infinitely harder to prove without your video. As far as anyone’s concerned, the kid has dug his own grave with that.”

“I know,” I say somberly as my girlfriend joins me.

“Coley, look out for him, okay?” he says, giving her a hug, too. “We’re worried about him.”

She takes my hand in hers. “Yes, sir.”

“Get some sleep,” Mom says.

“I’ll try. Love you,” I say, looking at both of my parents before shutting the door. I glance at the clock on the far wall. “Know what we were doing last night at this time?”

“I know we weren’t at the Rainbow Room,” she says. “That was a lifetime ago.”

I sigh as I walk over to the balcony window and examine the pulley by the blinds. “Maybe just for tonight,” I tell her, still feeling like the eyes of the world are on us. It feels claustrophobic in the apartment with the outside world blocked off. “As if I didn’t feel cut off from the world enough today.”

“Trey, I don’t care if people stare at us outside. If you want to go for a walk or something, let’s go.”

“Don’t you get it? There’s no
walking
. There’s an ambush, or there’s a chase. I prefer neither.”

“I get it,” she says softly.

“I’m sorry, laureate. I’m tired. I’m… I’m… depleted of every ounce of energy and filter. It’s all gone for the day.”

“How about that drink?”

“Yeah, but I’ll get it. Anything for you?”

“I’ll have one, too, if you don’t mind.”

“It’s not like you’re going anywhere,” I say with a sarcastic chuckle.

While I’m in the kitchen pouring, she puts on the soundtrack to her favorite musical. So many times when we’d been working, I’d joked with her and told her she couldn’t play it because I couldn’t concentrate on homework or writing because the music drew all of my attention to it. Tonight, I think she has the right idea.

Settling into the living room, she sings along with a beautiful voice that had surprised me the first time I heard it. With my drink in hand, my focus on the story and the tuneful harmonies confidently sung by Coley, I start to zone out and put this day behind me.

The intercom buzzes in the middle of the fourth song. “Want me to get it?” she asks.

“No, no,” I say, finding it difficult to push the weight of my tired muscles off the couch.

“Yes, Jerry?”

“Zaina and Max are here to see you.”

“Fuck,” I whisper to myself, looking down at the floor and wishing I could tell them to go away, but knowing I don’t have that option. “Send them up.”

“What do you want me to do?” Coley asks.

“As far as I’m concerned, this is your home right now, so make yourself comfortable.”

“Okay, but I’m
not
comfortable with this scenario at all.”

“I can’t turn them away, Coley. They flew here from California.”

“She had to come back through here anyway, right?”

“Yes, but Max didn’t. I’m sorry…” She nods as she shuts off the music and goes into my bedroom, closing the door behind her.

I wait with one foot in the hallway until my friends arrive. Zaina is the only one to get off the elevator.

“Hey,” I say to her. “Where’s Max?”

“He only came with me in case you wouldn’t see me,” she explains.

“Zai, come on. You know me better than that.”

“Do I?” she asks, coming into the apartment. I shut the door and lock it behind us, leaning against it in anticipation of what she has to say next. She turns around and crosses her arms as her eyes fill with tears. “Because I don’t have any clue who that guy in the video I saw online is. Not any clue at all,
Tria
.”