Indelible (9 page)

I shook those thoughts from my head as I neared the bar, thinking back to my kiss with Sam instead. Damn, that kiss had been hot. I remembered the feel of her hair fisted in my hand, and the way her lips had opened for me, letting me taste the sweet heat of her mouth.

Shit, I was going to have to think of something else or I’d have to cool down before entering the bar.

I managed to walk in without issue, and found the guys already in our spot by the bar. I stopped and grabbed a beer before going over to meet them.

A round of greetings was yelled as I approached my teammates. I walked around, slapping hands and shoulders, saying hi to everyone before finding an empty spot next to Chris.

“How’s Tuck?” he asked.

“Looks like shit,” I replied with a chuckle before taking a pull of my beer as I surveyed the bar. “Looks like the usual groupies are in attendance.”

“Oh yeah,” Chris said, leaning back in his chair. He had dark skin and dark eyes, and his brown hair always seemed to be in a state of disarray. The girls went crazy for him. I guess he’d be what they called tall, dark, and handsome. “That hot little number in the short red skirt over there was asking about you earlier.”

“Oh yeah?” I responded, my eyes finding the tiny blonde he was talking about.

“Yeah. Wanted to know if you were coming tonight, if you were looking to hook up…that kind of stuff.”

There was never a shortage of groupies around, looking to hang out with players and hook up. I really never got what was in it for them – maybe the status of fucking one of the guys on the team – but I found myself looking at them in a new light.

These girls would do anything and I mean anything, to spend the night with me.

I realized I much preferred Sam’s mystique. I enjoyed the fact that I didn’t know when I was going to see her next, that I didn’t have her number, and that I didn’t know where she lived. Sure, I wanted her to eventually trust me enough to let me in, but for now I was content to not have her act like every other chick on the prowl.

I took another pull of my beer and shook my head at Chris. “Not interested.”

Chris raised his eyebrow. “No?”

“Nah.”

“Does that have anything to do with that redhead you were sucking face with before the game?”

He chuckled at the look I gave him.

“It might.”

He put his empty beer bottle on the table and stood up, cracking his knuckles and giving me a cocky grin. “More for me.”

Chris started toward the bar, and then turned back to me. “Want to split a pitcher?”

“Absolutely.”

I thought about what James said all night. I didn’t want to hurt Judd, because that certainly wasn’t my intention, but I felt like I had to protect Karrie as well as myself.

Plus, now that I was really starting to like him, I was afraid of what his reaction would be. We’d only been on one date and shared a couple of brief kisses.

Hot…but brief.

There was nothing to keep him from walking if the thought of dating a single mom freaked him out.

I didn’t think I could take that reaction from him.

I kissed Karrie and said goodbye to Molly before I began my walk to the coffee shop. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to start running. I was beyond excited about seeing Judd again.

I concentrated on my steps and played with my braid as I whistled down the sidewalk. My head was down, so I didn’t realize someone was in front of me until I collided with another body. I looked up and grinned when I saw Judd peering down at me.

He caught me by the arms and I grabbed onto the fabric of his T-shirt. I looked up into his smiling face and lost myself in the gold flecks that surrounded his green eyes.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” I replied softly, my eyes zeroing in on his mouth.

Neither of us let go. We just stood there, caught in the moment.

“Let’s see whether or not yesterday was just a fluke,” Judd murmured as he lowered his head.

I kept my eyes open until our lips touched, and it was then that I closed my eyes and let my senses take over. I loosened my grip and splayed my hands across his chest, loving the feel of his muscles underneath.

His arms came around my body and pulled me closer to him, causing our kiss to deepen and our bodies to meld.

He felt wonderful.

I felt wonderful.

I wanted to stay in this moment indefinitely.

His lips felt sinfully soft, and I trailed my tongue slowly across his lower lip, chills racking my body when Judd groaned in response. I felt his body harden, and I rolled against him instinctively.

He pulled his body away, leaving a few inches of space between us as his mouth continued to ravage mine. I tried to close the gap, causing him to chuckle against my lips.

“Are you trying to kill me, or is sex in public on your bucket list?”

His words sank in and I realized where we were —a few feet away from the coffee shop. In the middle of campus. With students walking around everywhere.

I couldn’t believe I’d been so carried away that I’d forgotten where we were.

It had been so long since a man touched me that I lost control. It was almost like my body had caught fire and melted my mind.

I backed away, missing the hardness of him immediately, my body still throbbing. Every inch of me wanted to catapult into his arms, but I breathed deeply and centered myself.

Judd looked like he was trying to gain his composure as well. He ran his hands through his much shorter hair and down his face before smiling at me and holding out his hand.

“How about an iced coffee?”

I laughed as I took it.

We went inside and ordered our drinks. When they called our names to pick up our orders, I asked Judd if he wanted to take them outside since it was so nice.

“Sounds good,” he replied, taking my hand again.

I was surprised at the ease in which he kept doing that. He didn’t strike me as the hand holding type, and I said as much to him.

Judd looked down for a moment, as if surprised to find that he was indeed holding my hand.

“I guess, in all honesty, I didn’t even realize I was holding your hand. I like touching you,” he said with a shrug.

My body tingled at his words, starting at our joined hands and traveling through my limbs.

I suddenly felt terrible about not being totally honest with him. He kept making mention of honesty and how he liked the fact that we were straight with each other. I had to tell him about Karrie.

I squeezed his hand and stopped, looking up at him as I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Judd.”

“You mean the vagueness about your number and where you live?” Judd asked. “I’m not worried about it. I’ll talk you into telling me that stuff eventually. You won’t be able to resist my charms.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

He was so freakin’ cute.

“Do you have time to go for a walk before class?” I asked, my nerves suddenly taking over. “I’d like to show you where I live.”

Judd looked pleased.

“Let’s go,” he replied.

I kept my hand in his, reveling in the comfort it provided as I worried that he would no longer want to touch me after he found out about Karrie.

We were quiet as we walked, so I noticed a slight change in Judd’s gait as we neared housing.

Judd paused and turned to me. “You live in the burbs?”

I nodded and saw the anger cross his features.

“You’re married?” he said tightly.

“I’m not, I swear.” I replied.

I tugged on his hand to get him to follow me, walking him up the sidewalk to my meager home and opening the door. I held it open to allow him to enter the house before me.

He dropped my hand and went inside.

I immediately felt the chill on my hand from the loss.

Judd walked around silently, and I viewed the house as it would look through his eyes.

A child obviously lived there.

A small Dora chair sat in the corner next to the sofa, and there were toys in a large pink plastic bucket against the wall.

Judd looked at the toys, then back at me. His expression remained stoic as he continued to look around.

Artwork adorned the walls, both mine and Karrie’s. Judd walked around, studying my drawings and paintings, then stopped to look at a finger-painting Karrie had done.

I tried not to be embarrassed by our third-hand furniture, but I couldn’t stop the emotion as he looked around our small home.

After studying it for a few moments, he walked back toward the kitchen and eventually looked into both bedrooms in the back of the house. I couldn’t blame him for not believing that I wasn’t married, but I had been lying to him. Just not about that.

After he finished looking around, he walked back into the living room and sat down on the sofa, putting his head in his hands.

I wasn’t sure if he would want me to sit next to him or not, so I stayed where I was and waited for him to say something. Anything.

After a few minutes, he looked up at me and asked, “You have a daughter?”

I felt like I’d been sideswiped. Sam had a kid, and she’d never so much as hinted at that fact. I knew she’d been hesitant to tell me much about herself, but I’d figured she’d been screwed over by some guy.

I guess she had been. Literally.

I was trying to remain calm and not let the betrayal I felt turn to anger. But it was a struggle.

I looked up at her, waiting for her response, and my anger dulled a bit at how anxious she looked. Her hair was pulled back into a braid, so her face was uncovered and allowed me to see how pale she looked. She was twisting her hands nervously, looking like she would be sick at any moment.

Sam nodded and answered, “Yes, I have a daughter. Karrie.”

“But you aren’t married?” I asked again, wanting to be absolutely sure that this was the truth.

“No, I’ve never been married,” she said softly as she hung her head. I could tell that she was embarrassed, and I really wanted to take her in my arms, but I wasn’t ready to let her off the hook yet.

“I need to know all of it,” I said.