Indelible (4 page)

Tuesday was a blur of classes and practice. I was so exhausted that when I got home I grabbed a beer and fell asleep on the couch without even taking a sip.

That explained why I got up before the sun, starving and with a stiff neck.

“Shit!” I exclaimed when my feet hit the corner of the coffee table on the way to the floor.

My one-room apartment didn’t have a ton of space, but I wouldn’t trade my solitude for anything. I’d lived in the dorms when I first came to school, but that barely lasted a few months before I’d found this place.

It was dingy and cramped, but it had served me well over the last few years.

I rented the place above Penelope’s Flower Shop. Mrs. P let me subsidize my rent by sweeping up the shop and helping her unload her deliveries on the weekends. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Since I was up so early, I showered, grabbed a Pop-Tart, and headed down the stairs to check on the shop.

I let myself in through the backdoor and was assaulted by the scents of roses and lilies. I’d never admit it to the guys on the team, but I kind of enjoyed helping out in the shop. It was the most stress-free and pleasant-smelling work I’d ever done.

Mrs. P kept the place pretty clean, so it didn’t take long to straighten up. I looked at the clock above the door and saw that I still had a couple hours before Sam would be at the coffee shop with her answer.

I was a little embarrassed to admit how much I was looking forward to seeing her again, and it was kind of a turn on that she kept me guessing. I didn’t know whether she was going to agree or not to the date on Friday, and I enjoyed the anticipation.

Since I had time, I figured I’d better go check on my dad. It’d been about a week since I’d seen him last. I usually tried to go by once a week, just to make sure he was doing alright.

I locked up and walked around back to my bike. I took a moment to appreciate the gleam of the polished chrome as I held my hair back and put on the helmet. I straddled the bike and felt the vibrations roll through me as the engine came to life.

I enjoyed the trip to my dad’s house on the other side of town. It was still early enough that the roads were clear, so I was able to ride straight through with few stops in my way.

I turned on to the street I grew up on, barely noticing the fading, dilapidated houses lining it, and slowed down to stop in front of my dad’s house.

It had once been a brilliant blue, but not long after Mom’s death my dad had painted it beige. He’d painted the entire thing beige — inside and out. It was like with her gone, all of the color had gone out of our lives. I guess, in a way, it had.

I left my helmet hanging off my bike, sure that the punks in the neighborhood knew better than to mess with anything of mine.

I walked through the overgrown grass and up the cracked path. I remembered how tidy and sweet this place had been when I was a little kid, and felt a familiar twinge of regret as I reached the stoop.

The screen door had been torn off the hinges and placed on the stoop next to the door, so I moved stray strands of screen out of the way and got my key to let myself in.

Damn… The smell that hit me when I opened this door was nothing like Mrs. P’s – it smelled like straight-up ass. What seemed to be a mixture of B.O., stale beer, molding food, and cigarettes melded together in a horrendous odor that had me gagging a bit as I rushed over to open the windows.

I looked around in disgust. My dad had done a lot of damage since the last time I’d been by. I’d straightened the place up then, but you wouldn’t know it to look around the space now.

After I got the windows open, I walked through the house looking for my dad.

I found him in the back bedroom, the one he used as the T.V. room. My mom didn’t believe in having a T.V. in the living room; she’d said the living room was for socializing and spending time with the people who were important to you. It was one of the few things my dad still adhered to, even all these years after her death.

The television was on mute, but the pictures flashed across the screen, lighting up the room like a strobe light. Dad was passed out in his recliner, last night’s T.V. dinner on the table next to him, surrounded by a twelve pack of empty beer cans.

I walked over and touched him lightly on the shoulder.

“Hey, Dad, why don’t you go lay down in your bed?”

He jerked and snored a little louder, but didn’t wake up.

I looked over at the picture of my mom on the wall. My lips turned up at the sight of her long dark hair spilling over her shoulders, and the big smile that had always seemed to be on her face.

I missed that smile.

I straightened up and pulled my hair back, deciding it may be best to just leave Dad as he was as I went into the kitchen to grab a trash bag.

An hour and three trash bags later, my dad was still asleep in his chair, but the television was off and he was covered up with one of my mother’s quilts. I shut the windows and locked up behind me, breathing a sigh of relief as I got on my bike and drove back toward campus.

As I took the time to double check my mascara and try to tame the fly-aways that were sprouting out of my hair, I assured myself that I wasn’t making an extra effort to look good when I saw Judd at the coffee shop. I mean, he may not even show up so it would be stupid to worry whether or not my eyes pop.

But deep down I knew he would show up. I think I’d left him intrigued enough to want to see me again. At least I hoped so.

I scooped up Karebear along with my purse, my backpack, her backpack, and her blankie, and locked up behind us before heading to Molly’s.

On Mondays and Wednesdays my first class was later in the morning, so I liked to go to the coffee shop to grab a drink and do some studying. I always seemed to get a lot more accomplished there rather than at home, where Karrie wanted my full, undivided attention.

I really looked forward to those quiet moments.

After kissing Karrie goodbye, I walked the few short blocks to the coffee house. When I opened the door I scanned the room, but Judd wasn’t there yet. I walked up to the counter and ordered my usual, then grabbed a table in the back and began to study.

I tried to concentrate, but found myself checking the door every time it opened. I pushed my hair back behind my ears and looked down, trying to focus on the text before me.

I heard the sound of a motorcycle and looked out the window. It started to slow down in front of the shop and I realized it was Judd. His head was covered with a helmet, but there was no mistaking those arms – flexed, toned, and covered with tattoos.

My body started to hum at the sight of him swinging his leg over the bike. He paused to take off the helmet, and his hair tumbled out. I watched as he pulled it back into a ponytail and put the helmet down. He started to walk toward the door and I glanced down quickly.

I wanted it to look like I didn’t care whether he came by or not.

I heard the door open and willed myself not to look up. I heard his footsteps as his boots hit the ground, and it felt like every nerve ending in my body was standing at attention.

After seeming to take forever to cross the room, Judd stopped in front of my table. I let him pull out the chair, scraping the legs against the floor, and sit down before I looked up from my textbook.

He looked a little distracted, maybe even sad, until his eyes met mine. I noticed for the first time that they were green. A glittering deep green that met my gaze and caused me to shudder.

His gaze was so intense that I lost my breath, but then he blinked and smiled, the intensity was gone.

“Hey, Sam, it’s good to see you again.”

It was a smile that beckoned me to smile back, so I did.

“Hi,” I said simply, tucking my hair behind my ear and nodding. “It’s good to see you too.”

Judd’s grin spread and he leaned back in his chair a bit, looking down at my books before back up at me.

“Whatcha reading?”

“Hmmm?” I hummed absently. “Oh, just studying a bit before my class.”

He leaned in until he was inches away from me. He tapped his finger on the book in front of me and said seriously, “You might learn more if you turn it around.”

“Huh?” I asked cluelessly. I could feel my face heat up when I looked down and realized that my book was upside down.

I looked up at him sheepishly, prepared to be mortified, but was surprised when a giggle escaped my lips. Before I knew it, we were both laughing as I made a show of turning my book around.

When he’d stopped laughing he held his stomach and said, “God that felt good. Thanks, Sam. I really needed a good laugh.”

“I’m happy to help,” I said with a chuckle.

“So…” He leaned in again and looked me in the eyes. My breath caught again as he brought his hand up to my face and tucked the hair behind my ear. “Did you make a decision about Friday night?”

“It depends,” I said softly. “Where are you planning on taking me?”

“I was thinking the old-fashioned dinner and a movie date. Unless there’s something else you’d rather do.”

“No, that sounds great,” I responded. I hadn’t seen a movie that wasn’t a cartoon in
forever
.

“What restaurant?”

Judd grinned at that. “You like to have it all planned out, don’t you?”

“I don’t have a problem with spontaneity. I just need to know where to meet you and when,” I said while looking him in the eye. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to that, but there was no way I was having him come out to the burbs to pick me up.

He looked surprised for a moment before he brushed it off with a nod.

“Okay, I can appreciate that. I was thinking the Mexican place right off campus. That is, if you like Mexican.” I nodded and he grinned at me. “How’s six o’clock sound?”

“Perfect.”

“Great, I’ll meet you there,” Judd said as he stood up. “See ya, Sam.”

I nodded, appreciating his muscular back and the way his ass looked in his jeans as he walked out of the coffee shop and jumped on his bike.

Once the bike came to life and he took off down the street, I finally remembered to breathe.