Indigo (46 page)

INDIGO

“What a day,” Kennedy whispers, trailing kisses down my scar and to my neck.

“Yeah.”

I’m embarrassed, I’m scared, and I’m still in disbelief that I actually went through with the speech, and told the world my story, the truth about what happened to me. It would have been impossible to get across the range of emotions I’ve felt, and am still feeling, but until I wrap my own head around that, it didn’t seem fitting to share with everyone else. Right now I want to stay in the moment, with the man that has absolutely, unequivocally, stolen my heart.

Since I spoke out, though, I have felt a little pride trying to sneak in every now and then. I’m scared to let it, but there are a few moments where I quietly revel in it. Amazed at myself for actually doing it.

Needless to say, I’m feeling a lot of things. But Kennedy currently is impossible to ignore and I feel my thoughts start to drift…to forget. My boyfriend’s soft lips, peppering kisses over my face and making me feel warm. A shudder runs through me as his breath caresses my collarbone.

“Did I tell you how proud I am of you?”

I grin. “A few times.”

He’s hovering over me, balancing himself on his elbows, but not taking all of his weight off my body. “I mean it when I said I won’t let anything happen to you. If I have to stay by you day and night, so be it.”

“I could get used to that.” I reach up above my head to play his hair.

“Frank DeBlaney is invested now,” Kennedy tells me. “I don’t know how he’s going to do it just yet, but he wants to find the best possible way to put that woman behind bars for good. She can’t be tried for the same crime twice, so it’s going to be difficult.”

To everyone’s relief, Joan Huff was denied parole and will be forced to serve the rest of her sentence. It feels like a hollow victory, though, knowing that one day, she could very well be back out on the streets. I try not to concentrate on that though. Small victories. Today was a success.

I’d much rather think about the incredible sexy man, who told me that he loved me today. I’ve yet to give him the words back. I know I love him. This impatient, curious, sometimes needy man who makes me laugh and makes me forget everything but him, I love him.

Telling him so won’t be a hard speech to deliver, but I want to do it the right way, as I think I’m finally ready to give myself to him completely. I want him so much, I want to be his, and I want to give him the words I know he’s waiting for.

I decide then, in that moment, that I’ll just show him instead.

Bringing my finger up to his lips, I quiet anything else he was about to say. His eyebrows pinch together as if he’s confused, but when I reach down between us, and take off my shorts and my panties, he quickly gets with the program.

“Fuck. Indigo.” He looks down, drinking in my body and his eyes darken.

“What?” I whisper. I reach down to the hem of my shirt, and try to take it off, but his body is in the way. “Can you sit up for a second?” I say it casually, even though my insides are screaming.

He stares at me, and as if in a daze, moves off my body, his arms now fully extended as he hovers over and watches me in rapture as I get completely naked. His lids are hooded, his chest visibly rising and falling as he stares unabashedly at my body.

He only looks back at my eyes when I wrap my arms around his neck and try to pull him down so we’re skin to skin. I almost laugh when I see the uncertainty reflecting in their depths when he pulls back.

“Are you afraid?” I ask him, half joking, rubbing against him until he groans. Loudly.

“Yeah,” he answers, surprising me, bringing his face an inch from me. “Looking down at you like this, trusting me with something so important, it means everything to me. I don’t want to mess this up for you. Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I answer truthfully. “I’m afraid too, but I trust you…and I love you, Kennedy. I couldn’t have done what I did today if it weren’t for you. And…I want to do this. I don’t want to be afraid of it anymore.”

He doesn’t say anything, and I can tell he’s debating with himself.

“Show me it can be beautiful,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around his back and digging my nails in.

My words must have convinced him in the direction I want, because the next thing I know, his hands are all over my body, his lips following their trail. I lose count in the next few minutes of all the places he touches me. My skin seems to ignite under his fingers, and he quickly stirs me up into a mindless frenzy. All I can think about is how to get him closer. I feel empty, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist and push up into his very prominent erection.

He pulls back and a little, and his hand slowly reaches between my legs, groaning when he feels how ready I am for him. His fingers gently caress me, building me up, but he otherwise drops his forehead to my shoulder, and he resists when I try to bring him up to kiss me.

“You’re shaking,” I tell him, feeling his weight moving against me, trembling under my palms. I rub my hands across his skin to try and calm the nervous movement.

He doesn’t answer, and when I latch my arms around his neck, he slowly brings his head up to kiss me again. He isn’t taking the next step, so I decide to, and I move into a position that ends up making it impossible for his willpower to resist me.

His fingers are still inside me, moving artfully and I cry out, pushing my breasts into his chest. It gets his attention and suddenly his mouth is hotly latched on my nipple. The overload of sensations is like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and when his fingers brush over my clit I’m near to begging.

“Please…I want you.” I whisper, moving against his hand forcefully. I need more.

He takes a huge breath, looks at me one last time and then reaches down to grab himself. He slowly enters me, both of us panting with every inch.

When he pauses full hilt, I notice he’s still shaking, and he’s so beautiful in that moment I feel myself clench around him, making him growl.

When I purposefully clench a second time, spurred on by his reaction, his brown eyes liquefy and he starts moving. He starts saying things to me, and I hear him as if I’m in a dream.
I’m so lucky. You’re so beautiful. You feel fucking perfect. I love you.

“Kennedy,” I groan, as I feel myself spiraling higher, a hailstorm of white hot waves just out of reach. He starts moving in me faster, harder, his eyes locked on mine.

He reaches down between us, and one touch from his finger sends me over the edge and I explode around him. His fingers dig into my skin and I watch his face contort as he finds his own release, jerking wildly for what seems like endless moments.

His weight falls onto my chest and he’s still shaking. I rub his back, speech out of the question. That was the best experience of my life, and I tell him so. He doesn’t seem to have any words left, and as we hold each other, I ask him minutes later if he’s okay.

“I’m just so happy.”

INDIGO

The day of the Arts Fundraiser dawns blue and bright.

It seems as if all the students, their parents, the faculty, and as I’ve heard, many art enthusiasts in the tri-state area have turned out to see what we have to offer. The funds we make today will go towards the future of the Arts program at Fairbanks, and the atmosphere in the classroom is energized as everyone gears up to proudly show of their work that they’ve been putting together the past few months.

We aren’t the only class presenting today. There are a few others, so that makes over 50 painters, dancers, singers, and musicians currently gathered together in the auditorium.

Kennedy is with a few other artists on the other side of the room, his three paintings hidden under cloths until show time. He hasn’t let me see any of his work over the past month, wanting me to be surprised like everyone else. I’ve been itching to get a glimpse, but he has staunchly refused to even give me a hint of what it might be. I smile as I watch him talking and my eyes stray to his lips, watching him form words. Knowing what I know he can do with those lips now, I shiver in my seat.

Our relationship the past month has been nothing short of a miracle. To say that I’m grateful to have found him, is an understatement. Every day, he makes me feel beautiful, and every day he tells me how much he loves me, and how lucky he feels to be mine. I try and explain to him, how I am the one that should be thankful, but that conversation, I think, will forever be an impasse between us. He’s given me my life back, and is there with me through every small victory, and all the small steps I am starting to take with coming to terms with my past.

He even offered to come to one of my therapy sessions with me, but I’m not ready for that yet. In time. I’m still getting used to the emotional visits myself, but my therapist, Donna Gray, has been understanding and helpful as I try and get used to the idea of having regular appointments where I talk about what happened to me.

My eyes shift over to Sabrina and Shawn, who are sequestered off in a corner of the room, supposedly going over last minutes details of their duet. But since they are engaged in a heavy make out session, I doubt much talk about their performance is going on.

The four of us have formed a tight-knit group, and being with them, and Kennedy, has made the last month of my life feel warm and full. We even have a trip planned to Disney in a few days for the winter vacation, somewhere I’ve always wanted to go. Now that classes are over, Kennedy and I are heading back to Connecticut tonight, so the only thing standing in our way now is the Fundraiser.

I’m definitely nervous to perform, especially to a song that feels very intimate to me. But I’m learning to face my fears, instead of locking them away…literally. Dancing has always held a special place in my heart, and I’m looking forward to performing for an audience against, for the first time in over 3 years.

The media attention has been astounding since the hearing, to say the least. I’ve gotten offers to do dozens of interviews, some even trying to persuade me with boatloads of money, but I’ve refused it all so far. With Frank DeBlaney now as my official representative, he’s taken care of all of that for me, and I don’t have to do any of the declining. Maybe one day I will, but right now, I want to focus on dancing, my loved ones, and the new life I’m trying to forge for myself.

There’s still been no word on who poisoned the cupcakes, which has left a dark cloud over us all. The police are at a loss, and the bakery, who sells dozens of cupcakes a day, hasn’t been able to figure out which customer the order came from as the call was made from a pay phone. It’s been determined that Ketamine was injected into every cupcake, a tasteless substance that is supposed to be illegal to get if you don’t have just cause. Every avenue has turned up empty, every road a dead end. I’ve been assured that we will have answers in due time, but waiting has been unbearable, and we’ve all been trying to keep our spirits up.

Besides that, everything seems to be going just right.

As I think those words, the Dean—Kennedy’s mom—walks across the stage to get in front of the microphone. I’ve had a few instances to chat with the formidable woman over the past month, and she really isn’t as bad as I originally thought. She’s intrusive, she’s pushy, and slightly manipulative, but all in all, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll have to deal with her. She has silently accepted that Kennedy and I are together, and hasn’t done anything to try and pull us a part. The college has gotten a lot of positive attention since the hearing, and I’m thinking that has a lot to do with her upbeat attitude of late, and her acceptance of us.

She taps the microphone, and when a terrible screeching sound causes everyone to halt in their tracks, she frowns at the IT students who are offstage to the left. “For god sakes,” she mutters.

After a bit of adjusting she quiets everyone down again. “Good morning Fairbanks,” she calls brightly. “And welcome to our First Annual Arts Fundraiser. You should all be proud of yourselves. I’ve had the opportunity to see most of your work, and I am notably impressed. Hopefully all our benefactors will be as well.” She laughs at her own joke.