Indigo (21 page)

“So now you understand why,” she states, sitting up a little taller on my lap.

“I understand why what?”

“Why it wouldn’t work between us. You’ve probably kissed a million girls, and I could never live up to that.” She hiccups loudly. “And I don’t think I can ever be…with someone in that way…you deserve someone who won’t freak out over a stupid kiss.”

I decide to set her straight immediately. “First, it’s impossible to kiss a million girls, you’d be better off trying to eat a ton of food. And Indigo, do you know what I was going to ask you today?”

She hiccups again. “No, what?”

“I was going to ask if you would let me kiss you tonight.” I let the words sink in, and then put my hand over her scar. “Thank you for sharing with me what you did. And yes, I’ve hooked up with a few girls, but since I met you, I can’t remember even one of them.”

“I don’t know if I can,” she admits. Our faces have been so close this whole time, and I feel the situation is teetering on the edge, of what, I don’t know, but I feel as if our souls have just moved in one step closer to each other. “I don’t even know if I can kiss someone, let alone do anything else.”

“Let’s not think about the anything else,” I suggest. “And I don’t ever want to pressure you. So when it comes to that stuff, I give you complete control, how about that?”

I can tell she likes that idea as she nods. “I’ll try. Thank you for being patient, I know that must be hard for you.”

I laugh, and am happy when she gives me a small smile. “I’ll admit, I want you. Badly. But it’s not about me. If you let me give you your first kiss, whenever it is, it will be worth the wait.”

“Thank you Kennedy. I trust you.”

Pride nearly closes my throat, and I am fucking over the moon at the progress we’ve made tonight. That this girl would trust me, out of everyone, after everything she’s survived, is amazing. I can’t think about her confession now, as I won’t get any more answers, so I try and push it out of my mind which is going to be impossible to do but I try anyway. I can tell she has something else to say, and I can’t help but gently ask what it is.

“Maybe…maybe, we can start slow.”

I’ll start anywhere. “How do you mean?”

“I think I’m mostly nervous being that close to someone, so maybe if I get used to having you near…maybe you can kiss me other places first.”

Her words floor me and I sit up taller. Hell yeah. I’ve got a few in mind. “I’ll kiss you anywhere, just tell me. Really, anywhere.” Damn Keats that was way too eager.

She chuckles a little at my enthusiastic reply, then goes quiet as if she’s thinking. I’m keen to offer her suggestions, but force myself to sit and wait.

“How about here,” she whispers, and points to her neck.

Dying to get her skin under her lips, I lean in close. “That sounds good.”

First, though, I grab both her wrists, and link all her fingers with mine, so she knows I won’t go any farther than she’s letting me. I bring my left hand that’s now bound with hers up to her neck and together we brush away the inky black strands until it’s bare under my gaze.

Her neck is warm, and I blow lightly on her skin to cool it. Her legs tighten around me in response, and after licking my lips, I press them gently against her skin. I let her get used to that sensation for a few seconds, before slowly brushing them once, then twice, and tasting her just a little with my tongue. I blow again on the slightly wet spot, and she sucks in a quick breath. It’s insane, listening to a real natural response, and not one conjured up for my benefit. It’s the most erotic fucking breath I’ve ever heard. I press my lips a little bit harder one more time against her skin, and then once more because she tastes so good, before pulling away. It kills me to keep it short and sweet, but for my Indigo, I know that’s what I have to do.

Her eyes flutter open and I’m happy to see her eyes are a little dazed me. “That was nice.”

I’m so fucking turned on. “It was nice.”

“How about here?” She brings our hands up and taps her shoulder.

Without any further prompting, I dive in, starting at the edge of her shoulder, and slowly making my way inward. Her breathing is short, and she jumps a little when I lightly bite her collarbone, not being able to help myself.  I try not to think of how close I am to her breasts and I know she can feel how rock hard I am, as she’s moved up on my lap as I’ve kissed her.

“Kennedy,” she whimpers gently, fueling every cell in my body, and I’m just about to step it up a notch when I hear Shawn call out for me.

The moment shatters and my head drops onto her shoulder. I get myself under control, then shout back that I’m at my truck. I stand up with Indigo’s legs wrapped around my hips, before turning around and sitting her down on the trunk. She seems a little stunned, and I hope it’s because of me and not the alcohol. Yeah. It’s from me. I try not to grin too widely.

Sabrina and Shawn make their way over to the truck, lost in conversation. But when Sabrina spots Indigo sitting in the trunk of my car, she rushes over. “You okay?”

We all watch Indigo break into a big smile. “I’m great actually.”

Hell.Yeah.

Sabrina laughs in her usual loud way, and pulls a bottle of water from her purse. “Drink this, it will help.”

Indigo grabs the water, and eventually we pile into the car to go home. No one seems particularly upset that we’re leaving after only an hour, especially Shawn, who seems to think he’s about to get lucky with Sabrina.

“I have something to tell you two ladies,” he says about half an hour into the drive. “And you’re not going to like it.”

Indigo bursts into laughter, obviously still a little drunk. “You sound so serious, Shawn.”

“This is serious,” he replies gravely. I look at him in confusion in the rear view mirror. What’s he getting at?

“What is it?” Sabrina is wearing a stoic expression, but to me it feels sarcastic.

“It’s about the football team. Don’t ask why, but you have to stay away from everyone on it.”

I shake my head, unable to believe he is telling them about the bet in such dramatic fashion. I agree that they need to know, but obviously he is a little drunker than he thought. “What he means is--“

He cuts me off. “What I mean is exactly what I said. They’re bad news.”

“They are? All of them?” Sabrina asks, seemingly bemused. “How come?”

Indigo has been chuckling in her seat the entire time. I can’t help but turn my head to look at her. She’s so damn cute.

“They have a bet,” Shawn tells her, his tone even.

“Bet?” Sabrina repeats his words back at him, and it’s then I’m almost positive she somehow already knows about it. Indigo too, and that’s probably why she’s been laughing. Fuck. I look over at Indigo again, really wanting to know what she thought about the whole thing. Maybe I should tell her I’ll wring the neck of any football player who tries anything. Or just all of them in general for thinking it.

“There’s a bet going around the team about who can get into both you and Indigo’s pants first. So I’m just warning you to stay away from them.”

“Hmm,” Sabrina muses. “That’s strange.”

Shawn’s mouth drops open. “Strange? There’s nothing strange about it! It’s perverted is what it is.” He shouts, spinning in his seat to face her. “That’s your reaction, that it’s strange?!”

“Luckily that bet has already been settled, right Indigo?”

“What!” Shawn and I both shout out the word. The thought nearly has me braking hard in the middle of the highway. Both girls cry out with laughter.

“She’s joking,” Indigo tells us between giggles. “We already knew about the bet. And no it hasn’t been settled.”

“Don’t joke like that,” Shawn pouts, turning away from her to look out the window.

“Why not?” Sabrina says, leaning over into him like a seductive jungle cat. “Would you have something to say about it?”

Shawn takes a deep breath, and crosses his arms. “You know I would, Sabrina, so stop messing me with me.”

“Okay,” she finally says. And although it doesn’t seem like much to me, the word makes Shawn light up like a fucking Christmas tree. And just like that, they’re furiously making out in my backseat.

Indigo and I both smile at each other, and I use the moment to grab her hand.

“Here?” I ask her.

She breaks into a grin and nods as I kiss her hand.

INDIGO

Fear and doubt begin circling over my head as the effects of the alcohol start to wear off. I don’t remove my hand from Kennedy’s grasp, and instead force myself to keep the night going in the positive direction it has taken.

But my mind skips back to the confession I gave him, and my stomach flips, wondering what he must think about it, must think about me. But he didn’t run, and luckily there was no judgment or pity in his eyes. That I can’t take, which is a huge reason why I haven’t told anyone the intimate details of what happened to me. What would he think if he knew the other stuff? Or how messed up I am.

I like him. I trust him, and he hasn’t given me any reasons to doubt his sincerity when it comes to me.

Can he really like me, though? If what he said to me tonight was any indication, then he does. His words have been swimming in my brain, making me feel warm and needy. Can I really do this? I don’t know, but right now, I concentrate on not moving my hand.

As the miles pass, I think back to the trunk of his car, and wish I could relive that moment over and over. His lips on my skin, not scary, but stunning my senses, all of them fired up and ready to see what comes next. With him, I feel like maybe I can try, that I can finally get one kiss that only belongs to me.

Leaning back against the headrest, I close my eyes and try to block out the sounds of Sabrina and Shawn making out, and focus on the moment. Every couple seconds, Kennedy rubs the pad of his thumb over my fingers, giving me a shiver of sensation.  

We don’t let go until we pull into campus and park outside Kennedy and Shawn’s building.

Kennedy clears his throat to let Sabrina and Shawn know we’ve stopped, as they’re probably unaware that we’ve even pulled into campus.

“Dude, get out of my car,” Kennedy finally says, and reaches over the seat to swat Shawn on the back of the head. But Shawn seemed to be ready for that, and out of nowhere grabs Kennedy’s arm to yank him backward, and pretty soon both are tussling over the seats, making Sabrina and I laugh and scramble to get out of the way.

I finally get my door open, and jump down to the pavement, smoothing the bottom of my dress and pulling up my top. The campus is alive with activity, some people coming home, and some people trying to make it down to the bar for the last hour. Even over achievers with their backpacks, probably headed toward the main library that’s open 24 hours.

I take a deep breath and shut the car door. This must be what normal feels like.

Although I’m not really drunk anymore, I definitely don’t feel secure on my feet. I grab onto the Jeep for a second, trying to regain my balance and stop my head from spinning.

When I open my eyes, Kennedy’s watching me. “Want me to carry you again?”

That would be nice. “No thanks. I’m all right, just need to get my feet back under me.”

“You mean like this?” One second I’m standing on the pavement, the next Kennedy has swooped me up into his arms to carry me bridal style, and begins walking around the front of his car. His chest is heaving with laughter at his own prank.

“I think that’s the opposite of what I mean,” I laugh, once I get my breath. But it feels so good to be in his arms again I don’t want to really complain in case he thinks he should put me down.