Indigo (19 page)

I’m just about to tell him to ask me now so I can get it over with, when Shawn calls my name from the backseat. I swing around, and see that he’s got Sabrina’s long legs over his lap, his hands resting on her knee. He tosses me a beer before handing one to Sabrina and taking one for himself. I barely manage to catch it, and then read the label.

“What’s PBR?”

Kennedy groans from beside me. “Really Shawn? You’re giving her that shit?”

“Is it bad?” I ask.

“You have to try it,” Shawn tells me, popping his own can. “If you don’t, it’s like, un-American.”

Sabrina scoffs, but pops the tab on her beer. “Indigo, don’t drink it if you don’t want.”

I look down at the beer, and then over at Kennedy. What I really want to do is return to our conversation, but it seems like that will have to wait. I slowly pop the tab on my own beer, a little less nervous to try it this time.

We all raise our beers, and tap the sides against each other’s before taking a sip.

“What do you think?” Kennedy asks, before I even have the chance to swallow the slightly bitter liquid.

“It’s not terrible,” I respond, but my face must have given me away because he groans again. “Well, I don’t hate it.”

Shawn cheers from the backseat, and Sabrina laughs.

I take another small sip, and hide my slight grimace. “But that’s the best you’re going to get.”

“I’m going to bring you some champagne next time like you wanted,” Kennedy tells me. “I think you’ll like that.”

“It’s got to be better than this,” I tell him with a chuckle, seeing that Shawn and Sabrina are distracted again. My small purse knocks off the seat when I lean in close, and I bend down to get it, stuffing my license and Taser back inside.

His eyes take in the device and his eyes widen. “Is that a Taser? Should I be worried about that?” He jokes.

A little embarrassed, I shake my head. “Of course not Kennedy. I just carry it for protection. There’s pepper spray in here, too.”

He stares out at the road, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. I watch in fascination as the lights from the passing cars throw shadows over his face. “When you’re with me, you don’t have to worry about anything
ever
happening to you. Okay?”

It’s the most serious thing I’ve ever heard him say, and all I can do is agree with him. “Okay.”

“You said you feel safe with me. Is that true?”

“Yes. It’s just a habit for me to carry these things. It makes me feel better.”

His jaw hardens, but his eyes soften, and I can feel his energy crawling over my skin. I can’t help but lean into it, into him. My bold action surprises him, because his body tenses, and we don’t say anything else for a few seconds. Our bodies aren’t touching, but it’s like we’re basking in the glow of each other’s personal space. Never have I felt so charged, or needy. His chest is moving rapidly up and down, and I know he’s just as affected as me. In this moment, all my earlier worries are forgotten, and I just enjoy it.

The two hours seem to fly by, as the four of us talk about everything from Sabrina’s brother, our music tastes, Professor Klaeger, and stories from our childhood. I’m still on my first PBR, and I don’t even notice the sour taste anymore I’m having so much fun. We’ve been constantly laughing, and I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun.

KENNEDY

I’ve been watching Indigo the entire time and feeling really confident that she’ll let me kiss her. I try to keep my cool throughout the ride, but I’m so excited with my small victories tonight I can barely contain myself. I didn’t imagine her leaning in closer, and I didn’t imagine her telling me she feels safe with me. Those things, combined with the fucking fantastic view I got of her cleavage when she climbed in my car, makes me feel like the luckiest man on earth.

We arrive at the bar about ten minutes later, and I can already see a crowd of people waiting to get in.

“Great,” Shawn groans as I slide into a space. “We’re going to wait forever.”

“No, we’re not,” Sabrina says before pulling out her phone, presumably to call her brother. I use that moment to look towards Indigo, who is silently eyeing the hordes of drunken patrons by the door.

“You going to be okay?” I lean down and whisper so I won’t be overhead, and the smell of her hair makes me want to lean in even closer, but I don’t, not wanting to push my luck so soon.

After a moment, she turns to look at me, and our faces are inches apart. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“Let me know if you’re feeling uncomfortable. The very second.” I tell her. I try and stare deeply in her eyes as I say it, to let her know I really mean it, but she just nods, looks away and the moment breaks.

“Danny’s going to let us in through the back,” Sabrina tells us, opening her car door and hopping out. “This way.”

She leads us through the parking lot, and the noise gets louder as we get closer to the brick bar. It looks a little run down, and one of the windows is even broken, but apparently the shoddy appearance isn’t a deterrent for the locals, who seem to be spilling out from the inside.

Once we get around the back, I see a tall light skinned kid with dreads, a cigarette in his mouth, and a Bob Marley t-shirt on. The moment he sees Sabrina, his eyes light up and he lets out a holler. She does the same, and I can immediately tell they’re close.

I see Shawn hesitate, shove his hands in his pockets, before immediately taking them out again. He’s nervous and probably wants to make a good impression. I hover beside Indigo, who I can see is shivering. I want to put my arm around her, but don’t think she’d be comfortable with the intimacy. We’ve never really had any sort of serious body contact. How are you going to kiss her later when you’re afraid to even touch her?

Sabrina and Danny catch up for a few seconds before she drags him over to meet us. His eyes are surprisingly clear as he looks all of us over. When his gaze reaches Indigo, he does a double take, presumably when he sees her scar.

“These are my new friends from school, Indigo, Shawn, and Kennedy.” Sabrina introduces us and we all shake his hand. Sabrina must have mentioned Shawn to her brother before, because his eyes linger over him the longest.

“Nice to meet you guys, I hope you like good music. Come through this way and you can sneak in by the bar.”

We follow him through an old metal door, and down a dark hallway. I bring the group up from the rear, wanting to make sure Indigo is in front of me where I can see her. I’m floored when she reaches back to grab my hand, and squeezes it, hard. No fucking way. No. Fucking. Way. Her hands so small and so cold, and I’m so shocked she reached out to me I feel like for a few seconds she just drags me along.

But then I wake up, and I squeeze it back and run the pad of my thumb over her fingers, trying to comfort her. I can literally feel her trembling. The hallway seems shady to me, so I can only imagine how it must feel to her. I want to pick her up and run away, but I can’t do that.

Who knew holding hands with a girl would feel like such a huge fucking victory.

Once Danny leads us in through the door, she relaxes and shyly pulls her hand away. I resist the urge to snatch it back in mine like a crazy person.

“I’m going to catch up with Danny and the band for a few minutes before the show starts, I’ll meet you guys back out here in a sec.”

“Wait,” Shawn calls out. “Want me to come with you? This place seems a little sketchy.”

A sneer crawls across Danny’s face and he throws his arm over Sabrina’s shoulder. “What? You don’t think I can take care of my own sister?”

Shawn, who doesn’t have a “back off” bone in his body, stares him down. “I didn’t say that. But I came here with her and I want to make sure she’s safe.”

There’s a second of tense silence, before Danny laughs loudly, sounding just like Sabrina. “You’re great. Sure, come with us, I’d like to get to know you better.”

Shawn looks relieved, and I give him a quick nod while Sabrina waves to Indigo. “See you guys in a few.”

The three of them disappear behind the door again, and then it’s just me and Indigo. I spot a chair at the bar, and without giving her a warning, I grab her hand again, drag her the few feet to the chair and motion for her to hop up. Once she gets in, I maneuver it to the side, and then stand in front of it, almost like I’m caging her in.

“Better?” I ask, even though I can tell she’s delighted that I found her a place to sit.

“Yes, thank you.” She looks around and then settles into the chair. “There’s a lot of people here.”

“Yeah, there is.” I notice she’s taking short shallow breaths, and I wonder if that’s how she relaxes herself. She sees me watching her and sighs.

“I’m sorry. I’m not being a very good date.”

Date? Hell.Yeah.

We have opposite reactions to her word choice. I grin like a fucking idiot while she looks mortified.

“I didn’t mean…” She begins to try and take back her words, but I decide I’m not going to let her.

“I’d like this to be a date,” I tell her boldly. I put one of my arms on either side of her and lean in close so she can hear me. I know she heard what I said, and instead of looking away, she stares up at me with her beautiful eyes and I’m caught. I realize at that moment, as she looks at me, I want her so much more than I originally thought, and I really want to tell her. Screw taking it slow, I want another big victory. “I’d like to take you out on a real date, just the two us.”

At my honesty, her face falls. “Kennedy, I tried to tell you before. I can’t be the girl that you want me to be. I’m not…I just can’t.”

“I don’t want you to be anything but yourself,” I protest, staring into her eyes.

“But you don’t even know me.” Her cheeks are flushed, and I know instinctively that I’m going to have to say the right thing here. She’s giving me an in, and it’s something I rarely get with her.

“I want to know you. I’ve been trying to know you since the moment I first saw you, you know I have.”

“But why?” She shakes her head, staring at me earnestly, and I can tell she really wants to know.

I look at her, wondering if she’d like my explanation and decide to just throw caution to the wind. Ever since she grabbed my hand in the hallway, I’ve been on edge. Like I want her to admit things. Can she handle my brutal honesty? I’ve never been one to hold back how I feel when it comes to women, and it’s always worked in that past. But the words forming in my head are never words I’ve ever said to anyone else. “Honestly?”

“I would never want anything but the truth,” she tells me instantly.

I bring one of my hands up and gently slide it around her neck, before putting my mouth next to her ear. I’m shaking at the feel of her skin but I forge on. “Because you’re
honestly
the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Your face fascinates me, and not because of your scar, but because I can’t believe you’re real.” I hear her draw in a quick breath, and I decide to keep going. “Then it was because I couldn’t figure you out. I have no idea what’s going on in your head, and that drives me insane. I want to know how you work. I want to know everything. I already know there’s a part of you that’s different, carefree, and funny, and I want that girl, too.”

Her pulse is beating hotly under my hand, and I lightly brush my thumb on the smooth skin on her throat. “I like doing things for you, because you deserve it. If you want something, I want to be the person to give it to you. I feel so fucking protective of you, even though you’re not mine.”

I want to bite her ear, lick the shell until she trembles in my arms, but I know that would be too much. “There’s something new I like about you every day. And then there’s the part that I can’t really explain, it just is there. I’m drawn to you like I’ve never been drawn to another person. The energy between us is real. You have to feel it.”