Inflame (Explosive) (14 page)

I’
M FINALLY
on my last mission before I’m headed back to the States, and I couldn’t be happier. Listening to McAllister and Wellington argue over the merits of relationships has me thinking about Lucy’s earlier email, where she complained about cheating assholes and why relationships suck. Charlie’s a pretty kickass chick, and I hate that her douchebag fiancé did that to her. Lucy went on a long-winded tirade about why she avoids dating and love is stupid and she’s probably going to end up an old cat lady—which made me laugh because she’s allergic and can’t even adopt one. I’m pretty sure if she were here right now, she’d be on Team Wellington’s Camp of “fuck relationships,” and I wonder how things are going with her boyfriend or whatever the hell he is. I catch the tail end of Wellington’s sentence and now I don’t blame the guy for his relationship stance. You never fuck another man’s woman—especially your brother’s. That’s some messed-up bullshit.

While McAllister gets razzed about starting at his girl’s picture, I discreetly pull out a slip of paper from my pocket, unfold it, and re-read her words just like I’ve done on every other mission. When I initially read the response to my feelings email, my heart wanted to plummet and soar at the same time. On the one hand, she admitted she had feelings for me, too. On the other, she confirmed that she was dating that guy. I’ve wanted to punch myself in the face a hundred times since then, knowing I should’ve locked down a girl like Lucy Dawson before I boarded the plane for Afghanistan. I just hope when I get home that there’s a chance for us to be…something. A couple? Friends with benefits again? Casual dating? I don’t care what the label is. I just know that I have to have her in my life in any way, shape, or form.

“Montgomery, outta the vehicle,” McAllister orders, breaking my trance.

I peek my head out the window and check the ground, making sure I’m not going to trigger any pressure plates the moment I step out. It’s all clear, so I exit and continue to do a perimeter check, going twenty-five meters out.

“All clear,” I holler and hear three more echoes confirming the same thing.

The rest of the team gets out of the MRAP, and McAllister and Wellington don their bomb suits. We form a perimeter around the suspicious package. I’m the closest to the guys, and I watch as they approach it. I can feel my heart racing the same way it does every time we’re dispatched out on a call. Even though I’m not the one defusing the possible bomb this time, I still find myself holding my breath as I watch their advance.

I look up into the Hindu Kush Mountains, scanning the nearby hillside for anything out of place. Wellington must catch the glint the same moment I do, because he’s warning McAllister at the same time that I rush towards them, wanting to warn them without alerting the terrorist that I spotted him. Even though I know my fight or flight should be kicking in right about now, I can’t help it. I’ve gotta get my guys out of there, but I’m too fucking late.

As soon as I see McAllister pressing a hand to his ear and asking, “What?” to Wellington, the bomb detonates and sends them both flying in the air. I’m thrown back and slammed into the MRAP, feeling a crack in my pelvis as I fall to the ground. Shrapnel flies all around us, and I can feel it cutting into my skin, but I ignore it. Reaching for my radio, I frantically call out to anyone who’s listening as I low crawl towards the guys. Pain spreads throughout my body with each movement, but I keep going, knowing they have it worse than I do.

When I reach Wellington, I see that he’s unconscious, and a bone is sticking out of his skin on his left arm. Bile rises in my throat at the sight, but I swallow it down, knowing I need to get him help. I can see Taylor tending to McAllister, and I pray to motherfucking God that these two make it.

“I NEED A FUCKING MEDIC! NOW! GOD DAMMIT!” I scream, not caring if the fuckers hiding on the side of the hill hear me.

Leaning down, I check Wellington’s pulse and his airway, thankful for the damn ABCs they pushed down our throats in training. Airway. Breathing. Circulation. Thank fuck he has a pulse, but his breathing is ragged and shallow. I pull myself up onto my knees so I can survey the rest of his injuries.

Before I know what’s happening, I hear sniper fire ring out, and suddenly my shoulder is on fire as a bullet rips through me. The force of it throws me down next to Wellington, and as I try to get back up, I hear more shots. Holy fuck. Forcing myself to turn over onto my stomach, I’m about to latch my arms around him so I can pull him into cover behind the MRAP when I hear the glorious sounds of whirling helicopter blades approaching.

Minutes later, I’m standing, watching as McAllister and Wellington are both loaded onto stretchers and taken away by medevac. The field medic starts to dress my shoulder when I collapse to my knees. Dizziness rolls through me as the pain from the gunshot reverberates through my body.

“Montgomery, you’ve lost too much blood, God dammit. Get the fucking medevac back here ASA-FUCKING-P,” he yells into the radio.

Black dots start to blur my vision, and the voices around me become fuzzy. Blinking profusely, I shake my head, trying to stay awake, but it’s no fucking use. As I slump down in the sand, the last thing I hear is the whir of the helicopter again, and as I close my eyes, I thank God for the damn choppers.

“J
ESUS,
L
UCY,
can you put the damn phone down for one fucking meal?” Aidan hisses across the table.

I grimace as I see the ‘0 New Messages’ in my Gmail account when it refreshes. Closing my eyes, I let out a deep breath, trying not to freak out. It’s been over two weeks since I’ve heard from Kale, the longest he’s ever been out of touch. I’ve been obsessively checking my email and social media outlets for the past ten days. The first couple of days with silence weren’t unusual. Sometimes he gets stuck out in the field and can’t get back in touch, but this is different. I can feel it. Something’s wrong, and I’ve been barely holding it together. If it weren’t for Charlie, I’d probably have lost my mind already.

I should feel guilty for being on my phone all throughout dinner, but I’m too worried to feel anything else. Since Charlie’s been staying with me, I’ve barely been able to see Aidan, and this was supposed to be our date night. I’ve messed it all up by being distant, and I can tell he’s in a sour mood. With one last look, I lock my phone and throw it in my purse, ready to give Aidan my undivided attention, but apparently I’m too late. His mood doesn’t change and we sit in an awkward silence as we both finish our meals.

“So Drew said Charlie still won’t answer his calls. Lucy, he made a mistake. Can’t you talk some sense into her?”

My blood boils at his question, and I can’t believe he’d defend Drew. In fact, I can’t believe he’d expect me to go to bat for the cheating asshole.

Throwing my napkin down on my plate, I glare at him. “He
cheated
on her, Aidan. Not only that, but he kept freaking going when she walked in! What kind of asshole does that? Your cousin, that’s who. So no, I’m not going to talk any sense into her. She’s doing the same thing I’d do in her situation, and that’s kick his ass to the curb.”

He pulls his card out of his wallet to pay the check then looks back at me. “You don’t believe in second chances? Everyone makes mistakes, Lucy. Not everything is cut and dry.”

I narrow my eyes at him, unable to believe that he’s actually sticking up for Drew. I know they’re family and all, but come on. Call a cheating prick a cheating prick. “Some things deserve second chances and some things are unforgiveable. Fucking another person when you’re engaged to be married is unforgiveable! How can you even sit here and act like it’s okay?”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m not saying it’s okay. I’m just saying that sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. She won’t even let Drew apologize. I guess I just don’t get how you can go from being in love with someone to being adamantly done with them.”

I shake my head at his ridiculousness. What is so hard to understand? “Yeah, well I guess I don’t understand how you can claim to love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them and then turn around and fuck the cleaning lady!” I’m practically screeching, and I don’t miss the way the woman at the table next to us gasps. I cringe, knowing she probably thinks I’m talking about Aidan.

He quickly fills out the tab, and we make our way out of the restaurant. The car is silent on the ride back to my place, and the tension between us grows thicker with every passing mile. I can’t believe he thinks so little of Drew’s cheating, and it makes me wonder if he’d do the same thing. Not wanting to think about it, I shake the thoughts out of my head. I’m a month away from leaving for the summer, and I realize in that moment that I could care less if Aidan ends up with someone else while I’m gone.

My phone buzzes, and I frantically dig through my purse as my heart races, hoping it’s Kale. My heart sinks when I see that it’s just Charlie letting me know she’s staying at her dad’s for the night. Since I have my phone out, I check my email again, but there’s nothing there. I hear Aidan let out a loud sigh, and I lean my head against the window, not saying another word.

When we get to my place, he follows me inside and watches as I go through my mail, stupidly hoping for something, anything from Kale. At this point, I’d take any type of contact because I’m starting to lose my mind. He’s supposed to be home in a few weeks, and the thought of something happening to him so close to leaving Afghanistan is a thought I can barely stomach. When I see that I have nothing from him, my heart falls, and I’m almost ready to lose it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Aidan asks, and I can only assume he sees the stress of my face.

“What’s wrong with me?! My best friend is freaking in Afghanistan and I haven’t heard from him in two freaking weeks. Two, three days is normal, but not two weeks. I’ve been trying not to think the worst, but I’m kind of starting to freak out!” I’m seething, and I know I probably sound like a lunatic.

“Him? Again? Seriously, Lucy? Is that why you haven’t let your phone leave your hand every single time we’re together?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at me.

I know how it sounds, but he just doesn’t understand. Not hearing from Kale is killing me. The worst scenarios have been playing through my mind over and over, getting worse as each day passes.

“He’s my best friend besides Charlie, Aidan. He’s at freaking war. Of course I’m worried about him!”

Before he can respond, my phone buzzes again. I run to the counter to grab it, but Aidan catches it first. His eyes narrow as he looks at the screen before he hands the phone to me. It’s another text from Charlie, and I don’t understand what his problem is until I realize that he saw the background photo—one of Kale and me taken right before he left. It’s actually the last picture we took together, and I remember the way we laughed as we did one last selfie shot before he deployed. I can’t help the lone tear that falls, and Aidan doesn’t miss the reaction the photo caused.

He crosses to me and uses a thumb to wipe it away. Cupping my face, he forces me to look at him.

“Lucy, is there something going on between you and him? Is he the reason you’ve held back from me for so long? Or are you really just friends like you claim to be?”

I’ve been waiting for this question for so long, but even the anticipation hasn’t helped me come up with a proper answer. My head falls, and I know that this is about to be the end of Aidan and me. Before he lets me answer, he takes my hand and leads me to the couch.

I can’t bring myself to look at him, and I chastise myself, having known that this was going to happen eventually.

He lifts my chin again, making me look at him. “Lucy…” he whispers, and I close my eyes, not wanting this to happen but knowing it has to. “This isn’t going anywhere, is it?”

I want to tell him that he’s wrong, but deep down, I know he’s not. A part of me saddens from knowing that I’m about to say goodbye to Aidan, but Kale’s still in the back of my mind, and I’m still trying not to mentally freak out about not knowing where he is.

Looking up at him, I meet his eyes, knowing that I owe him that much. “I…don’t think so, Aidan.” I tightly close my eyes, trying to figure out what to say. When I open them back up, I see his sad eyes staring into mine. “I care about you. I really do. And I love spending time with you. But at the end of the day, I find myself thinking about someone else. And that’s unfair to you. I know I’m a total asshole for leading you on, but I promise you, Aidan, my feelings for you are real, and when we started dating, I thought I was ready for this. I guess I was just fooling myself. Right now, all I can focus on is the fact that he’s missing, and every moment I’m with you, I’m thinking of him, worrying about where he is and why I haven’t heard from him.”

I wish I could shut myself up. I can’t believe I just said that to him. And with the way he’s looking at me, I don’t think he can either.

He stands up from the couch, separating himself from me. I watch as he paces a few times, rubbing his hand over his hair. Finally, he stops to look back at me. His chest heaves as he takes a deep breath.