Innocence of Love (21 page)

“What about Mum?” Sophie had to ask concerned.

He stared in the opposite direction.

“Dad, you have to forgive her. I know she is sorry, the truth is she had no idea of the truth and it’s not fair to blame her. I took it upon myself to carry on with the pregnancy.”

“Yes but,” he snarled, “if she had supported you better and given you the chance to allow you to make that decision, we wouldn’t be here now.”

“I agree with you, but she did what she thought had been for my best interests.”

“Your best interests are you having a laugh,” he scoffed. “That woman had done nothing but try and live the perfect life. Well I’m sorry life doesn’t revolve like that. Hell I have dealt with cases that make you think about life and how lucky you are, and yet my daughter was living that foul life. Sophie, I cannot forgive her, not yet…”

“Has she moved out?”

He turned to stare at her.

“All she ever cared about is her reputation. The fact our daughter needed her seems to have escaped that woman’s jurisdiction,” he snapped.

Sophie could tell that no matter what she said it wasn’t going to change his opinion and she agreed to a certain extent, but the past was the past.

“If I can forgive her surely you can too,” she thought to say.

“She stole ten years of you being in my life. And nine years of you being a mum. And me being a grandad. How can we forgive her for that? She stole the most precious times of your life. I’m sorry, Sophie, I cannot accept that. You and Kacey are what is important right now and you need to concentrate on getting Kacey fit and healthy so she can run around my back garden, and cause total havoc.” He chuckled at her then added a smile.

The whole ordeal had destroyed his heart more than she had ever imagined. All those years she thought he never cared, yet now his heart ached, anguished to the fact he had missed out on so much with her, not forgetting a grandson.

“I love you, Dad.” She turned to look at him.

“I love you, munchkin,” he said. They both smiled, that was the very name he gave her when she had been growing up. He ruffled her hair and they both laughed. Maybe, maybe just finally her life was getting back on track and Calvin…he would be nothing but a distant memory. Yes, she was eternally grateful for all the help he had given her, while she had been at her weakest, and she would never forget his hospitality. However, things change it was time to move on and forget about the demons that once sat in her mind, move on and look forward to the future, she had much to be looking forward to.

Sophie felt determined to look after her and her daughter who was her main priority, men…she would shoo them away. After all, men where nothing but rats, at least all the ones she’d come across. 

Chapter Eleven

Two months later

Sat in the beer garden thinking about Calvin knowing his twenty-eighth birthday had been and gone. Her mind drifted back to that night and how her life had changed so much. It had been a night she had sacrificed in losing her virginity and gave it to an irresponsible young man, who gloated about the fact he had been to her first. She inhaled a deep breath and released slowly, thinking how her life had been so innocent uncomplicated it had been. A young girl living at home, at an all-girls school, preparing for her final exams, she managed to get through them, got the grades, successfully and managed to apply to York College and got accepted. She planned on getting her A levels and continue with her dress making longing to become a dress designer and a seam mistress, something she enjoyed and longed to do.

Wow, she loved sitting and designing clothes, with her material, cotton and threads making garments to her hearts content, sewing machine at hand. She always had a fascination for wedding dresses, loving to make a women look like a princess wearing the dress of their dreams for their big day, and it was that career she’d be aiming for and who knows maybe end up designing in London for the big designers. Only that never materialist. She ended up so different to what her plans had been.

She sat twiddling her thumbs wondering how her life after one night could turn into a living nightmare. Her whole life flashed before her she had no idea how she had ended up where she had. Yet, now back to her roots back to where she belonged at home, only one problem, her mum was missing. She could tell her dad missed her, but he wasn’t going to allow her to think she got away with what she had done in lying to him for ten years. Sophie could see his argument, her dad being the man he was, wouldn’t stand for such slander. He was a man of steel, he loved Sophie greatly with his heart, only her mum took that away from him, with one swift decision. Sophie did however miss her mum too. The house appeared strange with her mum not about.

Sophie inhaled a deep breath hearing Kacey grunting in her pram. She looked down to her precious little girl, smiling, delighted that finally they were out of the hospital and getting their life back on track together. She had to have regular check-ups, but overall life was good. Still, she waited to sign the house contract, only the chain proved to be a nightmare. The owners of her the house were waiting in their chain to purchase their new home from. Sophie wasn’t in any major hurry, quite happy and content to be back in the village living with her dad, not feeling like she’d been missing for ten years.

The weather was glorious. The sun shinned down without a cloud in the sky. The trees and landscape surrounding them was now green and full of life. Sophie sat under a canopy, having her daughter in her white pram, hood up, with a fly net to stop any bugs getting on her. She could see the cottage she once stayed in from where she sat. She sighed and thought back, when she’d been expecting her little miracle. And it was that place where she stayed when Kacey stopped moving.

“Here you go,” her father blurted out, waking her from her thoughts whilst he placed the cordial drink on the table and sat opposite her.

“How you feeling?” he inquired.

“Great, really good. I’m loving the fact I am pushing my daughter around in her pram, feels so hard to believe. I so missed the peace and quiet of village life,” she told him turning to glance at her dad.

“I can only guess what your living arrangements where, but you’re both safe and back where you belong and soon you will be in your own home,” he cheerfully stated. A smile vibrantly shone across his face. Sophie smiled back totally relaxed.

“I cannot thank you enough, Dad, for everything you’ve done.”

“Nonsense, you’re my only child and now I’m a grandad…you are making me feel old.” He chuckled.

“Sorry, something I have been pretty rubbish at and being a mum.”

“Rubbish, you did what was right for Sabastian, well…you should have come to me, but I’m not bringing all that back up again, it’s done, and nothing in the world is going to change that, but now…” he said reaching forward to take hold of the pram handle and bounced it. “I have this little one in my life, so special and I’ll help you both all I can.” He smiled.

Sophie could see how happy he was, she felt terrible for stealing that smile from him from when she’d left home, but the truth was…she only went by what her mum told her.

“Have you spoken to Mum?” She needed to ask as he had mentioned he might call her last night.

“Yes, we did talk,” he lowered his voice.

“And?”

“And well, we said a few things, and she tried telling me what she did to you had been the best for you. I’m sorry, Sophie, I’m not buying it,” he reported taking his hand of the pram handle and turned to her anguished, his eyes narrow. “She made that decision to cut you out of our lives, and I’m sorry, you will argue with me…I don’t like it. I resent what she did and how she went about it.”

“But, Dad, please don’t allow me to be the cause of you splitting up. I would never forgive myself.” Not needing their marriage break-up to be her fault.

“It’s not your fault.”

“I fell pregnant. I made the decision to keep him and not tell the truth,” she informed him, trying to defend her mum, when really it cut her up. She had no idea why she defended her mum.

“I’m sorry, Sophie, no matter what you say it will not change my mind. She was the adult not you. You were a mere child who needed help, and your mum failed and failed bad,” he said uptight.

Sophie did understand what he meant, her mum had failed her, the matter remained it had been years ago, times had moved on. Sophie did what she had to do, yeah with regrets but, at least her son lived with a wonderful family who allowed her access, unlike many agencies.

“Have you heard from Calvin?” Sophie glared at him, not being sure why he would bring him up after two months. “Curious, you haven’t mentioned a thing about him,” he questioned, shrugging his shoulders.

“I haven’t heard a thing and don’t wish too neither,” she told him abruptly.

“What happened between you two?” he asked.

He’s a gloating dick, and I would rather not talk about him.
“Do I have to explain?”

“No, I just thought I would ask. I mean one minute you’re almost living together and the next…”

“I didn’t think you approved of him?” Sophie thought she would throw in.

“I didn’t at first I thought he was hanging around with you for the wrong reasons, only I believe I got that information incorrect. You both needed one another for support and to go through the pain together. Not only that he’s a nice young man, I have known him since being a baby. I have heard stories about him…bloody hell, all those times we had listened to how well he was getting on with his wonderful life in London, while you…” Sophie saw his eyes filling. “My God, he had no idea what had happened to you…why didn’t you tell him?” he bellowed whilst glaring at her.

“Dad, I didn’t think he would care or be interested, Mum said…” Her father placed his hand up to stop her continuing.

“I don’t want to hear, that woman was nothing but venom. Would you have gone to him?”

Sophie lowered her head and inhaled a deep breath her chest tightening. “I wanted to, I really did…but I thought Mum was right and…”

“Stop, Sophie…don’t distress yourself. That woman isn’t worth your vital breath. What I am disappointed by is the fact…well, anything could have happened between you and Calvin, I’m not saying you would have got married or anything, heck you were both so young, but I’m certain he’d have supported you.”

“He has stated that fact,” she thought to add.

“I bet that hurts more?”

“It does, but I had no idea if he would’ve supported me. I was terrified at the time and I believed he would have told me to
get lost!
Of course I now know different,” she mentioned lowering her head in empathy.

“Calvin did take good care of you. A few months ago, I got the impression he worshiped you. How could I ever begrudge him for that? He was there for you in your desperate hours of need. I cannot believe you were considering taking both your lives.”

“I was scared, Dad, I had nothing.”

“I know…and that is where I respect Calvin greatly. He could have called the police and told them he had some wild woman attempting suicide and he didn’t.”

“No, I thought he was going to call them myself, but he promised me he wouldn’t and said he believed in giving people chances.”

“He’s one very brave man indeed. I cannot fault him. Yes, I thought he was there due to guilt after he found out, well…I’m guessing you told him you had the abortion?”

“No, I told him the reason why I hated my mum, because she forced me to…”

Her father placed his hand up stopping from her saying another word, guessing he knew her mother was about to be mentioned. “And you never told him you never?”

“No, not with everything that happened. I didn’t know who he was at the time. I got upset and emotional just to the thought of it all. Then when it all came out and his parents found me walking down the lane they told me who Calvin was…my entire body broke down. It was then everything kicked off, Dad, and I couldn’t get a word in edge ways. I wanted to scream at the top of my voice above them all, but I felt unwell, I was suffering some discomfort in my abdomen. I wasn’t sure about him, Dad, and I,” she explained, tears filled her eyes.

“Don’t, Sophie, stop! I can see it’s far too painful for you. I know it’s none of my business what happened between you both, but you both have to move on…we all do with what happened ten years ago. And as for your mother…” He sighed loud. He turned his head away. “Let’s forget about it.”

“But, Dad,” she blurted out as she tried to gain the courage to tell him she loved Calvin. Only she couldn’t get the words out, she didn’t want to risk the chance of her father telling his parents and then he would find out and come dashing back or the opposite and stay away.

She gazed across the table at her father, she could see his point, but didn’t wish to go into detail about the reason behind Calvin leaving her life and for good. She couldn’t tell her father the truth. She looked in the pram to her daughter, to find her fast asleep, typical, yet at nights she was awake like she was in the hospital, she talked to the midwife eager to get Kacey out of that pattern, and hopefully the advice would soon work.

“Do you believe in things happen for a reason?” she asked her father while staring into her daughter’s pram.

“Sometimes I do, they do reckon your life is mapped out. I’m not all that convinced…” He paused. “But then again maybe I do.”

“Hey, you just said…” She lifted her head to glance at her father noticing something had caught his attention. She gazed over her right shoulder to be nosy and saw Calvin with Ross. She widened her eyes and gasped. A large lump filled her throat. Calvin stared directly over at her. She gulped and her heart sank to the bottom of her stomach. Nerves got the better of her. She turned back around not wishing to look at him longer than she needed to. She hitched her breathe, resenting the fact he was so close to her. She had hoped he would have stay away from the village and remain in London for good.

She swallowed hard and tried her best to breathe when thankfully Kacey started crying, or annoyed knowing now Calvin would look over to the sound. Kacey needed her feed, kind of rescued, depends on how you evaluate the situation. Sophie stood to carefully get her daughter out of the pram, pulling back the bug net and pulled back the blanket before lifting her out. With great care she raised her top and unclipped the feeding bra having her baby girl latch onto her left breast.

“I will go and get you some water and a menu, fancy something to eat?” her father said.

Choked up, struggling to get her words out. “Okay.”

Off her dad went to get some water and some food. Sophie was beside herself, aching in the pit of her stomach, knowing that Calvin was in the pub and she was sat outside. Of course, he would visit the village with his parents being close by, it had been two months since she’d last seen him. She also guessed he had every right to visit his family.

Dazed thinking back to their lovely lunch at Betty’s tea rooms, followed by browsing the boutiques when suddenly, everything got destroyed by one loud mouth. She hated Tim for saying what he had. He ruined everything for them, as she’d been on the verge of telling him she loved him she, wanted to spend the rest of her life with him…what a joke! Nevertheless, there was only one person to blame and that was Calvin, for being a gloating dick. Her body longed to shut down, her breathing hitched, Kacey unattached herself and started crying.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. Is Mummy stressing?” She cuddled her in her arms needing to calm her daughter down, lifting her onto her shoulder, patting her back listening to her crying. “Hey shhh,” she hushed. She stood up to walk around. She moved about the blocked paved area, bouncing her daughter. She stepped onto the pebble car park and continued to try and calm her bundle down.

Rocking her daughter back and forth betting she sensed her mum’s annoyance about Calvin. However, she needed to relax to feed her.

“Sophie.”

She froze. Slowly she turned around to see Calvin stood feet away from her wearing his blue shorts, sandals, and a palm tree colourful T-shirt. He looked dashing, his eyes so striking, glowing, his mouth…his stubble, his hair covered in wet look gel with waves, giving him thick strands for his fringe.