Innocence of Love (18 page)

Sophie gulped heavy, wondering why everything appeared to revolve around that damn night.

“Yeah was a good night. So are you two an item?” Tim asked.

“No,” Sophie stepped in quickly. “Just friends.”

“Oh, I see, hey, Calvin, do you remember, how you scored that night in the barn, with that pretty blonde chick,” he chimed slamming his hand against Calvin’s arm.

Calvin turned to her. Sophie turned to him. They both shot their eyes wide-open.

“No, Sophie, it wasn’t like that,” she heard panic in his voice.

“Oh right, so what was it like…” she scorned.

“I swear…I never…it never.”

Sophie wasn’t about to hear his lame excuses and decided to walk away, holding her head high tears streaming down her cheeks. She could hear him calling her from behind, but there was no chance she was going to give him the satisfaction of humiliating her in front of a friend, who can clearly remember quite a bit of that night. Devastated that Calvin had boasted about their intimate time together, clearly she had made the right decision to not say anything to him about expecting.

Struggling to breathe, she needed to find an immediate quite spot to let her heart out, pour her anguish to the fact that, the night that she had lost her virginity he’d boasted. How could he gloat about it? She bet he’d been delighted to have scored a virgin. Torrents of tears poured out her eyes, making her feel worthless once again. Sobs came, her chest buckled, unable to breathe, or even feel if she was alive. The pain of repeating those words Tim said were haunting her.

She moved to the opposite side of the Minister finding a quiet spot in a corner. She crouched down into a bundle allowing her heart to break. Worthless and cheap, the feelings she’d pushed to the side were back killing her internal guts.

What the hell was it with men and treating me like shit!

Sophie made her way back to the hospital. She smiled at the nurses at the station to get the key to her room. She walked through to her accommodation. She opened the room, having been cleaned. She slammed the door behind her. Weak, deflated, anguished, struggling to breath she threw herself onto the bed and into a tight ball to release all her pain, floods of tears came like a stream.

Her heart shattered into tiny pieces not believing what had happened or how it happened. Her life was one fucked up joke!

Her boobs leaked she needed to try and pull herself together and stop wallowing in self-pity. Her daughter needed her it was clear it would only be those two. Did she seriously need anyone else to get in the way of her raising her daughter? No. Then men like Calvin, were typical, aware know he wasn’t the man she first thought he was.

She dashed to the bathroom to chuck, cold water over her face, not wishing anyone to see what a mess she was in, if anything she really didn’t wish to talk to anyone, especially not to talk about how Calvin was an asshole and now hated him.

The sooner he went back to London the better.

Sophie walked into the feeding room to express herself, not being in the mood for anything, thinking back to that night and how, a few weeks ago, he had dropped himself in it, saying how he had hoped she’d attend his party…her speculation had been right Calvin had really been waiting for her to show to have his wicked way with her. What a total scumbag. All men were worthless scum who don’t think about anyone but themselves. They get a girl pregnant and run, yep and she was convinced he would have done exactly the same thing, if given the chance.

Destroyed, heartbroken, how could he have been so nasty, she put her faith in him, trusted him with her heart and soul that night yet, he had done nothing but gloat.

“You bastard,” she called out. Her heart shattered into small pieces.

“You okay in here,” she heard a female voice.

Sophie saw to her right the nurse popping her head in.

“Sorry, yes, just annoyed,” she explained not wishing to go into details. Sophie wiped the pathetic tears away not wishing to continue to feel exploited anymore. She had to get a grip and look after what was important, Calvin…he can get back on the A1 and disappear without trace.

Sitting in the chair beside her daughter thinking about what she wanted from the future, no men, defiantly no men. They could survive on a little bit of money once she gets on her feet, she would search around wedding boutiques to try and get a job. The thought of her being independent earning her own keep for her and Kacey sounded like a master plan, not only that, she didn’t wish to rely on the state government or her father. That was her plan, a plan she would make work.

“Sophie,” she heard lightly being miles away thinking about her future prospects. She turned her head swallowing heavy clearing the saliva in her mouth.

“You have visitors.”

“Oh, okay, who are they?” She asked curiously.

“A family with a boy,” she announced. Sophie immediately thought about Caroline, Mike, and Sabastian. Sophie turned around to stare at the far door, unsure where or if Calvin would turn up. She hadn’t even thought about the possibility that they would all collide, but then if Calvin had any sense he would stay well away.

She stood to make her way toward the double door. She walked through another set to the waiting area. Sabastian saw her and instantly ran into her arms wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and cuddled into her.

“Hiya, Mum,” he cheerfully announced, squeezing her.

“Hello, buddy,” she replied upbeat, ruffling his hair up and kissing the top of his thick locks of hair.

He suddenly pulled out. “Can we see Kacey please…we have her gifts and you some flowers,” he chirped excited, jumping about.

He walked back to Mike who had the flowers hidden behind his back with an extensive large range of colourful flowers, lilies, carnations, roses, and plenty of ivy. Sabastian took the bunch, excited, a smile dominating his face he handed them he her. Sophie fought hard to keep the tears back but a small trickle left her eye overwhelmed.

“Thank you so much, buddy,” she responded, smiling at him placing them to her nose to inhale the sweet aroma.

The nurse kindly took the flowers from her and headed through to the accommodation where she’s put flowers into a vase.

“Can we go and see her please,” he danced.

His brown eyes beamed at her seeing Calvin in him. Her heart ached.

“Of course, let’s go,” she spoke heartening.

She glanced up at Caroline and Mike, they smiled. Delighted they had brought him.

They walked through the first set of double doors and Sophie explained to Sabastian why they had to wash their hands so well, not to spread nasty germs onto Kacey.

“I don’t want her poorly,” he told her.

“No, heck she has been a tough little girl up to now,” Sophie told him.

She left Caroline and Mike to wash their hands. Sophie walked through the double doors waiting for them. They soon came through slowly she took them down to Kacey’s incubator. She stopped and smiled at Sabastian as he walked vigilantly to the incubator. He stood on his tiptoes to try and see inside at his little sister.

Sophie pressed her foot on the peddle to lower the incubator, so he could see inside better.

Sophie watched Sabastian gaze in the incubator to his little sister.

“Hello, Kacey, I’m Sabastian your big brother. Mummy had me nine years ago,” he told her. So cute! “Why is she in this,” he asked confused, knocking on the screen.

“Because she needs special help. She was born too early and this incubator is keeping her warm and each day they lower the temperature as her body manages to stable and make her own warmth,” she explained, hoping it made sense what she said.

“What are all the tubes?”

She knew Sabastian would be inquisitive and who could blame him it was daunting. “The tube into her nose goes into her tummy so I can give her milk and this wire is tracing her oxygen levels,” she informed him.

“Doesn’t that tube hurt being put into her nose?”

“No,” she scoffed. “But earlier she pulled it out when moving about and they had to put another one in and she kept sneezing.”

Sabastian laughed, “That is funny. Does she cry?”

“Yes and loud.”

“Does she know you’re her mummy?”

“Yes she does. Yesterday, she was screaming the ward down and they called me to come and calm her down…she wanted cuddles the little munckin.” She laughed.

“Wow, has she got tiny finger and toes, Mum mentioned she would and said they are so cute…”

Sophie turned to Caroline and saw her shrug her shoulders. “Yes she has the tiny fingers and toes.”

“Can I see?”

Sophie set about opening the little door on the side of the incubator removing the tape around her daughter’s wrists to keep the scratch mittens on, with her waving her arms so much. She pulled down the cover and soon showed Sabastian his little sisters fingers and toes.

“They are so tiny…look, Mum,” he cried out to Caroline. It always felt strange to hear him call her mum.

Caroline stepped forward to glance into the incubator. 

“Can I touch her, Mummy?”

“Sure but be very gentle,” Sophie added a little apprehensive but he was her big brother. He placed his hand inside the incubator and took hold of her hand when she gripped, he laughed. Kacey opened her eyes kicking and waving her arms around.

“Will she come out of this, Mummy?”

“Yeah, once she is strong enough and holding her temperature.”

“I am now allowed to hold her when the nurse lets me. She likes Mummy cuddles, she is so tiny, no weight to her at all,” she informed him trying not to get too emotional.

“Did I go in one of these?”

“No, no, you came on time, with no complications,” she hyped, turning her head around to stare at Caroline and Mike. She inhaled a deep breath, needing to hold herself together for Sabastian, not needing to attempt to explain all the pain she had recently endured. Her heart failed enough recently, events with Calvin. She really hated him, yet a part of her wanted him to come back and fight.

“We have some presents for Kacey,” Sabastian sang.

Sophie was delighted he had changed the subject. Sabastian dashed to Caroline for the carrier bag she held and he promptly went back to Kacey.

“I got you a card, saying
Little Sister from Big Brother
.”

Sophie tried hard to fight back the tears, but it was so hard when Sabastian had put so much thought into the card. Then he reached into the bag and produced a wrapped gift.

“This Kacey is for you…” he told her while unwrapping the present. “Look, Kacey,” he marvelled excited, beaming a smile across his face that reminded her of Calvin, wow they are one another’s double, gorgeous and had those eyes to knock anyone down.

She watched him unravel the garment and he held it up in pink. “It says Kacey, because I know you cannot read yet.” Sophie giggled and turned to Caroline and Mike. “It says “I love my little sister” how cool is that, Kacey? And when you get bigger I will be your big brother and make sure you’re okay,” he told her.

Sophie struggled she covered her mouth up with her hand starting to wallow up.

She had to leave the room for a few minutes to compose herself,
Gosh I have never heard anything so sweet in my entire life.
She wiped away the tears

The emotions were getting beyond her she wondered when the hell the pain would stop. The fact that she regretted giving Sabastian away, wishing she never had that decision to make all those years ago. However, Caroline and Mike have done an excellent job with him which had always been important. Decisions had been made and there was nothing she could have done about it. Yet, having him stand next to his little sister saying how much he loves her, and how he’ll look after her, made her heart melt, more than ever.

Calvin…had hurt her. She regretted the fact they accidentally came across one another and now they were where they were because of her stupid act. If she hadn’t thought about throwing herself off the bridge they would never have collided and she wouldn’t be suffering the way she was. She wondered if her life on the planet was simply to be tortured.

Her head mushed having no answers, what she did have was her two children side-by-side making her heart warm and complete. She hoped Caroline and Mike would allow the two children to see one another on a regular basis, not only would it be good for Sabastian but Kacey too.

Once recovered from her emotions, she walked back into the unit to see Sabastian talking to Kacey telling her all about his football match and how the other team cheated.

“Cute hey,” Caroline laughed as they stood next to one another.

“Yes. I wondered if they could have regular contact together?” she thought to ask.

“Heck yes. Look at him, I think he’d hate me if I didn’t and I’m not routing for that,” she said.

Both her and Caroline watched Sabastian talking to his sweet little sister, touching the incubator wall.

“He has been so excited about meeting her,” Caroline said, watching him laughing while telling Kacey what he’s been doing at school.