Insanity (22 page)

I hear sounds down in Christ Church’s garden. When I look over I glimpse someone running, but I missed them. I climb down and follow them to the Great Hall.

Inside, I come across the fireplace with the firedogs. It's not a fireplace yet, but a door leading somewhere. The door is closed but is shimmering with golden light underneath. It shakes to thuds and the sound of fighting. There are screams. I don't know what to do. It's like a war going on behind it. I wonder if it's Wonderland behind that door.

Finally, the door springs open. A young man comes out. He is wearing a black priest's outfit and holds the vorpal sword in his hand, the same sword I saw the White Queen holding. He locks the door behind him with a golden key that he hangs around his head after. He is panting from the struggle behind the door. The man has that aura that makes me love him at first sight. It's the same kind of love I felt toward the White Queen. I realize what it is now. It's love shared by those who walk the white tiles on the chessboard of life.

"Alice?" he wonders, still catching his breath. "What are you doing here?" He is stuttering. A small white rabbit peeks out of his pocket, nibbling on a carrot. It's a funny looking rabbit. "Alice?" It imitates the man. "What are you doing here?"

"You see me?" I am bedazzled.

Lewis Carroll laughs. It's a delightful laugh. A laugh of someone who has not lost his childhood to the burden of growing up. I like it a lot. I only wonder why he stutters. "I see you," he says and tucks his hand gently back into his pocket. He takes my hand after. From his touch and my height, I realize I am seven years old, probably dressed in a blue dress. I still avoid mirrors wherever I go.

We walk outside and sit on the same bank I sat on with the Pillar.

"I did it, Alice," Lewis says. "I locked them up."

"The Wonderland Monsters?"

"If you'd like to call them that, yes."

"Is that the door to Wonderland?" I ask him, thinking about the fireplace in real life. It was brick-walled.

"One of many," he says. "I trapped the monsters behind each of the doors. They are interlinked, but they can only crossover to the world from the same door where I trapped them.

"And the Cheshire?"

"He is the only one I couldn't get, but I stole his grin," he says. "I hid it the best way I could."

"Oh," I say. I wonder what happens if I tell him I am from the future.

"Are you alright?" He holds my face gently in his hands. I nod. His cold hands feel warm on my cheeks. "I am so sorry, Alice. It's all my fault, but I didn't know things would turn out this way." I don't understand why he is sorry, and I am aware of Tom Tower dinging in the distance. I don't think he can hear it. "Here," he takes off the necklace with the key and wraps it around my neck. "This is one of six keys needed to open each door to Wonderland, where I locked them all in. I trust you can keep this one safe."

The key glitters in gold around my neck. I realize it's the same key drawn on my cell's wall.

"Lewis," I ask. "What happens on January 14th?"

"Fourteenth?" he wonders. "I have no idea. Why?"

"Doesn't matter," I don't have time to tell him about my cell. The Pillar sent me here so Lewis could help me with my decision. "I need you to help me decide something."

"I hope I can." he says.

"If it comes down to saving one girl's life and saving the world, who should I choose?"

"You started saving lives already? I always knew you would," his smile curves like ocean waves I want to crash against. "You really want my opinion on this?"

"You really want his opinion?" The carrot-nibbling rabbit peeks out again. Lewis laughs, hands him another carrot, and tucks him back in his suit's pocket. The rabbit stretches out its arm out of Lewis’s hand pocket, "It takes too much space in here."

Lewis laughs again then turns to me. "Like I said, do you really want my opinion?"

I nod.

"In my opinion, no one can save the world, Alice," he says. "We can save the ones we care about, the ones nearby, if we're lucky enough to be able to save them in the first place. Then once we save one, we go on to the next. One day at a time, Alice. One day at a time."

"So there are no miracles like saving the world?"

Lewis laughs. "There are two ways to live our lives, Alice. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. I like the 'everything' part."

"I like it too." I say.

"A man called Einstein will rephrase this quote many years from now, by the way," Lewis stands up and cleans his sword. "Don't tell him I said it before him. We don't want to shake his confidence."

"Why?"

"He is going to invent mad things, important things for mankind, and no one's going to believe him in the beginning," Lewis says. "That's the way with all mad people. No one believes them in the beginning."

I pull him down and kiss him on the cheek. He blushes. "You're a good man, Lewis. The world will love your madness after you die."

"You think so?"

"Your book is going to inspire millions, believe me," I say, and run back to the Tom Tower.

"What book, Alice?" he summons after me. "Wait? I am going to write a book? About what?"

"If you know about Einstein quoting you years from now, you should know you're going to write a book." I don't turn around, but answer him as I run.

"A book?" I hear the rabbit question. "Lewis, you're going to write a book? Will you write about me, please?

"A book about what, Alice?" are Lewis's last words I hear before I reach the Tom Tower.

"Madness, Lewis. You're going to write a book about beautiful madness."

Chapter 69

Quadrangle, Christ Church, Oxford University

I stand in the middle of Christ Church's quadrangle with the Cheshire's mask in my hand. There a few students here and there, a couple of professors, and even a mother and her little child with a lollipop in her hand. I think there is some night gathering for some reason. None of it concerns me. I am here to give the Cheshire his mask and get Constance back.

The Cheshire doesn't waste time. It's only moments before I see the old woman before me.

"I believe you have something that was stolen from me," she says.

"Where is Constance?" I say.

"With her parents. I drove her myself and they invited me for ice cream before I left," the woman grins. "Call the Pillar to make sure."

I do. The Pillar replies with a yes. I ask him to put Constance on the phone because I don't trust him. When she talks to me, I ask her about who she thought I was before jumping from the clothes tower. She says, “Mary Poppins.” Now, I am sure it's her.

"Here is your stupid grin," I hand him the mask.

The woman puts on the mask immediately. This time it dissolves into the pores of her face, like soap. She closes her eyes for a brief time, then opens them with the creepiest grin ever on her face. I can tell this is the Cheshire's real grin. It's not something you want to stare at for too long, or it will suck your soul.

"This feels good," the woman says. "If I were you, I would start the countdown."

"Of what?"

"The end of the world, dear Alice," the woman's grin has turned permanent. "You don't think I had my revenge yet, do you?" She tickles my chin with her finger and walks away. I feel helpless. Although I saved Constance, I just booked the world a First Class ticket to Hell.

"Nine lives aren’t that hard to kill," I say over my shoulder. She stops. "I know who I am now, and I will kill you nine times if I have to."

"With what, your magic pink umbrella?" The woman turns around and approaches me again. "Do you really want to see a glimpse of the grandness of my power?" She doesn't await an answer and gestures at a young man walking by. She taps him on the shoulder and suddenly the man turns to me with her grin on his face.

"How do you like me now, Alice?" the young man asks me in his male voice. He waves at his girlfriend and she approaches him. They kiss. Once they do, the grin transfers to her. "How about now, Alice?" the young girl grins at me. She leaves her boyfriend and I follow her through the grounds, where she helps an old man find his wallet. Once she touches him, he becomes the new Cheshire. "And how about now, Alice?" the old man says. He drops his wallet again and the kid with the lollipop hurries and brings it to him. It's only a second before she has the grin on her face. "Do you like lollipops, Alice?" She offers me hers.

I stand paralyzed. Now I know why Lewis couldn't catch the Cheshire, why his power was the most evil power in the world. The Cheshire was no one, yet everyone. It was like spreading evil through the world by the touch of a hand. I watch the girl kneel down and pet a stray cat. The grin transfers to the cat. She meows at me and runs through the crowd. I trail after her. Wherever I look, someone has the grin for a brief moment.

I stand in the middle of the quadrangle, feeling lost. There is nothing I could ever do to catch the Cheshire.

Chapter 70

The Pillar’s Cell, Radcliffe Asylum, Oxford

The Pillar lays on his back on the couch. He is still smoking and listening to Alice in the Sky with Diamonds. The butterfly in the jar is calmer now. It doesn't push her way out of the glass. I am too exhausted to be here, but thought I'd tell him that I am ready for the job. I am ready to save lives.

"I see the butterfly is calmer now," I remark.

"I had to send her some of my hookah smoke to ease her," he says.

"I wonder why you keep her."

"I am a caterpillar, Alice," he chortles. "One day I am going to be as beautiful as her. She helps me remember this."

"Whatever," I don't have the strength for another riddle. "I'm here to tell you that I'm..."

"Ready to save lives?"

"Yes."

"Ready to accept that you're Alice, even if it makes no sense?"

"Yes."

"Ready for accepting the madness in your life?"

"Yes." I am reluctant about this part.

"How about the None Fu techniques? Did you master those?"

"Not at all," I laugh. "I tried it, and it doesn't work. It's such nonsense. How is Jack by the way?"

"We went on a date together. It was a Carrollian date, where neither of us paid because we snuck into the restaurant when it was rather late. He tried to kiss me, but he smelled of playing cards. I'm not going out with him again." He doesn't even catch his breath when he jokes like this.

"It means you haven't seen him," I say. "And he is hard to track. With all his nonsense, I was warming up to him. I mean he is a stalker, but he just wanted a date with a mad and lonely girl like me. What more could I ask for? I hope he is alright."

"I am sure he will be," the Pillar says, "You should get some sleep. Now that the Cheshire is on the loose, I wouldn't be surprised if you and I are invited to a tea party in a few days."

"In the Parliament, I imagine?"

"Or the Queen of England's palace," he tops my mockery. "You haven't discovered who the Red Queen is and why she always said, ‘off with their heads’ yet."

"Please," I raise a hand. "Enough for today. I don't want to know. You're right. I have to get some sleep."

"How was the meeting with Carroll?" he catches up before I go. "Did he give you anything, if I may ask?"

"Not at all. He just advised me to save Constance," I am feeling the key Lewis gave me in my pocket. I am not going to tell the Pillar about it. I don’t trust the Pillar with this piece of information. "Since you have a writing desk in your cell, aren't you going to tell me what a raven and a writing desk have in common?"

The Pillar turns his head toward me and smiles. He knows I am changing the subject like he always does. "Not now. But I could let you ponder over an even crazier question, one that historians always skip and never investigate thoroughly."

"Oh, and what would that be?"

"What does Lewis Carroll and Red Riding Hood have in common?" he says.

"What? Are you crazy? Of course they have nothing in common." I roll my eyes and begin to walk. "I never thought I'd say goodnight to a serial killer, but goodnight Professor Pillar."

"One more thing, Alice," he stops me. "There is something that still puzzles me."

"Puzzles you?" I raise an eyebrow.

"In the previous days, you have never tried to look up your bus accident, neither on the Internet or anywhere else," he says. "I wonder why that is."

"I don't know," I reply. "I guess I was busy."

"Unlikely."

"Maybe I am just not ready to see the faces of the friends I killed. Adam told me something like that in my dream."

"Oh," he drags from his pipe. "That's most likely it."

He turns off the lights and disappears in the dark.

Chapter 71

Alice’s Cell, Radcliffe Asylum

In my cell, I put my umbrella next to my Tiger Lily and prepare to sleep. Waltraud tells me there will be no shock therapy today. She thinks Ogier went overboard last time, and I ended up hallucinating. I don't even try to understand why she doesn't believe me.

When I enter the cell, Waltraud doesn't lock the door behind me. Before I check out the reason, I am surprised to see I have a visitor in my cell.

"Fabiola?" I wonder. "I mean, White Queen?"

"How have you been, Alice?" she smiles serenely as usual. "I thought I'd surprise you."

"How did you get in?"

Her smile widened, as if she is telling me she can do a lot of things like this.

"I am honored by your visit, anyways.”

"I see the umbrella was useful," she says.

"Very useful. Thank you," I say. "May I ask where you got it?"

"It's one of Lewis Carroll's gadgets," the White Queen laughed. "He invented many of those later in his life. He even invented martial arts of his own. It's called None Fu."

"So I have been told," I roll my eyes. "Does it work?"

"Not with everyone," she replies. "I came to tell you something, Alice."

"All ears, Fabiola." I lower my head.